Chapter 15
Fifteen
Jaclyn
Hospitals always smelled like antiseptic, panic, and sadness masked under a layer of lemon scented cleaner.
I hate them.
I always have since I was a kid.
The long waits, the needles, the bad news some people get here.
I got news that I wasn’t going to live a completely normal life. I was going to be watching over my blood sugars every day for the rest of my life and pricking my finger or giving myself insulin.
I hate hospitals.
I didn’t stop walking, didn’t even pause at the front desk except to flash the room number that Rowan texted me. I moved on instinct, like my body knew where to go even though my heart had been screaming since my phone rang about thirteen hours ago.
It’s the middle of the day here in California. I was on a plane for about eleven hours and it felt like the longest flight of my life.
Rowan tried calling me and texting me, saying that I didn’t need to come to California and that he had it all under control, but nothing could have stopped me from coming to see Hayden.
Hell, I still have my duffle bag with all of my clothes because I couldn’t afford to not stop by the hospital first to see Hayden.
I stand in front of Hayden’s room door and take a deep breath.
Room 307.
I grip the handle and push it open.
Hayden’s here.
Lying still.
Too still.
Machines hum softly, wires connected to his chest, a small beeping sound confirming that his heart is still beating even if everything else about him looks lifeless.
My throat closes.
He looks so pale and cold. He has bruises on his face and the white sheets around his waist make the angry red bandage across his abdomen seem even more violent. His knuckles are scraped and he has a cut on his eye.
But his face still looks the same.
Like Hayden.
Just asleep.
I walk up to him slowly. My eyes burn but I won’t cry. Not yet.
“Hayden,” I whisper, brushing his hair back from his forehead. “You’re an idiot. An absolute idiot.”
My hand lingers there, my fingers trembling. I want him to open his eyes. To smirk, to say something cocky or sarcastic. I would have taken anything from him at this moment.
Him threading his fingers in my hair and whispering, “It’s going to be okay. I’m okay, princess.” If it meant I don’t have to stand here and feel this ache in my ribs like I’m the one who got shot.
The door opens behind me.
I don’t have to turn around to know who it is.
Killian De Luca.
I can feel the air change, cold and smug and unwanted.
“Well,” he says quietly, “I wasn’t expecting you so soon.”
I stand slowly and turn to face him.
Killian looks calm, collected and controlled like always.
Killian wasn’t just dangerous, he was the kind of calm that came before a storm, beautiful, quiet, deadly.
“What the hell did you do?”
Killian doesn’t flinch. “I didn’t pull the trigger.”
“No, you just pulled the strings, like always.” My voice shakes with rage. “You sent him here, you knew this would happen.”
“I didn’t know he’d get ambushed-”
“You put him in the position to be ambushed.” I snap, stepping closer to him. “You knew he had a family and someone waiting for him at home. Why did you let him join you again? Why couldn’t you just turn him away and let him go?”
“I tried. But he came to me looking for a rush, a way to breathe. Hayden is the type of man that always needs action and a rush. I had what he needed.”
“No, you just needed him to do your dirty work like always. You know right from wrong Killian, we aren’t in our twenties anymore,” I say.
“You have a daughter at home.” Killian glares at me.
“I don’t want to bring Luna into this but I will.
What happens if you weren’t able to go home to her?
What would happen if you were shot and Luna had to wonder where her dad is and why her dad died?
Why she doesn’t have a dad to take care of her and love her anymore? ”
“I didn’t mean for this to happen-”
“But it did and I could have lost him,” I say, my eyes filling with tears.
Killian’s eyes flicker to the bed before meeting my eyes again.
“After everything I’ve been through Killian, I need him to keep me alive.
” I point to Hayden. “Him and my kids are the only reason why I’m here.
I would have never been able to reach this point in my life if it wasn’t for Hayden. He is everything to me.”
We stand there, locked in a silent standoff while machines beep quietly behind me.
I know Killian understands what he did wrong and I know he feels empathy for Hayden because Hayden is his best friend or may be the only friend that he really has.
“You don’t get to be here right now.” Killian blinks. “I mean it, you don’t get to play the grieving friend while he’s hooked up to machines. Not when you practically handed him the fucking bullet.”
Killian’s mouth turns into a tight line. “You’re angry, I get it.”
“I almost lost the love of my life, Killian. I know you acted the same way with Reign. You should understand exactly where I’m coming from and how scared and pissed off I am.”
Killian’s jaw clenches and I notice his hands clench in a tight fists.
He nods before leaving without another word.