TWENTY-NINE
Rose
T he next morning, I sip a steaming cup of coffee on the large, shared balcony at the lodge. It overlooks a crystal-clear lake surrounded by tall pines, and the soft fog that sits on the water’s surface is slowly evaporating in the early sun.
The air is crisp and fresh at this early hour, and I take a deep breath, watching a family of mallards cross the lake. Before Nate, I would have had my phone in my lap, completely oblivious to the beauty that surrounds me, but now I crave the peace and clarity found in simple moments like this.
Almost as if to tease me though, my phone vibrates on the table next to me, and when I pick it up, Junie’s name reads on the screen.
“Hey, Junie.” I hold it to my ear and take a sip of coffee.
“Nate came?” she asks eagerly.
I smile as a cool breeze catches the ends of my hair. “Yeah, he showed up for the reception.”
“And what was his excuse?”
Her firm tone makes me laugh a little because while I love how protective she is of me, it’s so unnecessary in this moment.
“We both made stupid mistakes,” I clarify. “He was in a bad place that day with Kara’s appointment. But he apologized, and I know he truly meant it.”
Junie sighs lightly. “Well, he’s gonna hear from me if he does it again.”
I bite my lip. “Something else happened, too.”
“What?” she asks tentatively.
I can’t stop the grin from forming. “He told me he loves me.”
“Rose!”
I nod, even though I know she can’t see me. “Yeah, and I said it back.”
“ Rose! Oh, you two are actually gonna go the distance, aren’t you?”
“I don’t know. I hope so. We’ll see,” I reply quietly. What I really want to say though, is ‘Yes, absolutely. I’m going to make sure we go the distance, because I got one of the good ones, and I’m never going to let him go.’
“I’d better be in the wedding.”
“Well, that’s a given.” I laugh. “I hope mine’s as beautiful as the one last night. I wish you’d been here. All the ladies think George looked extra handsome.”
“Stop,” she says flatly.
“He had no one to dance with.”
“Stop,” she repeats. “I should have never told you.”
I laugh again just as my mother emerges from her room with a cup of tea. “Ok, I’ll stop. I’ve gotta go anyway. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“See you then. Have a safe trip back.”
I say goodbye just as my mother sinks down next to me on the porch swing.
“Morning, Rose.” She notices a loose curl that hangs across my cheek and tucks it behind my ear.
I lean into her and smile. “Did you sleep well?”
“No, but your father did. He left his nasal strips at home. Sawed logs all night.”
I chuckle and turn my mug around in my hands.
“Does Nate snore yet?”
“Yet?” I ask.
“They all do, eventually.” She rolls her eyes.
“No, he doesn’t,” I laugh again.
“Enjoy it while it lasts.”
I stare out at the glossy surface of the lake. “He doesn’t saw logs, but he’s an excellent tree feller.”
“What on Earth is a tree feller?” she snorts.
“He chops down trees. He even won a competition.”
She takes a deep breath and sips her tea. “Can’t say I ever expected you to fall for the lumberjack, but I get it. We all have our type.”
I shrug. “I didn’t fall for him because he chops wood, Mom. I fell for him because he’s a good guy. He’s stable. He’s responsible. And I feel like I can be myself with him.”
She looks down at her cup and frowns. “Do you feel like you couldn’t be yourself around anyone else you dated? Or… even around me?”
I inhale slowly. Last night, after she asked Nate if they could ‘start over,’ I decided to leave things be. I didn’t want to ruin a good thing. But now, it’s time to talk. “I don’t think I have truly known who I am before now. I think I’ve been trying to squeeze myself into a mold that didn’t really fit.”
“Rose.” She takes my hand and waits until I look at her. “Your life is going to change drastically if you stay with Nate in the long run.”
“I have no plans to leave AWP…”
“No, but is he going to want to move to the city?” She peers carefully at me. “Are you going to move out to the country?”
“I’m not sure…” I swallow hard. “I like it out there. It’s quiet.”
“If you marry someone outside of our circle—”
“We’re not talking about marriage yet, Mom.”
“ If you marry him,” she repeats. “You won’t have the same access to the world you’ve known all your life. I know women have equal rights and all that.” She waves her hand. “But men still hold the power. No one will know his name. You won’t be invited to any of the par—”
“I don’t care about the parties,” I interrupt firmly, but when she sets her jaw, I let out an apologetic exhale. “Look, I know you love this world, and I can appreciate it too, but I don’t live and breathe it like you do.”
She rubs her hand across her forehead and gazes across the water. “So, am I to expect my daughter will be too busy raising chickens and baking sourdough to join me for shrimp bisque in the city?”
“You know nothing will ever keep me away from that bisque, Mom.” I grin. “And not from you, either.”
She tilts her head toward me. “And what about my grandchildren? Where will they fit in? Will you send them to Ivy League like we’ve always talked about, or will they just learn a trade?”
I take a long, careful breath. “Again, you’re getting ahead of yourself.”
“Truly, though,” she pushes. “Have you thought about this, Rose?”
“They’ll pursue whatever they’re passionate about.” I shrug. “Just like I was lucky enough to do. I love my job, and I’m so glad you gave me the tools I needed to get there. My children will have the same opportunities, no matter who their father is.”
“As long as he values those opportunities too.” She lets out a small sigh. It’s not a disappointed one, but I can tell she still doesn’t understand, and maybe she never will. “Raising children to become successful humans—and kind ones—is not easy.”
I drop my eyes and swallow hard. It’s time to reveal the last little bit of truth. “Mom, there’s something else.” I lift my gaze to hers again and take a deep breath. “Nate has a daughter…from his marriage.”
Her eyes widen. “How…how old is she?”
“Seven,” I reply. “And she’s so sweet. She’s incredibly talented. She’s a great artist, she’s on the soccer team…she’s so smart. And he’s amazing with her.”
“Well then.” She presses her lips together and grips her mug tightly. “Does she live with him full-time?”
I nod. “I know, it’s just another thing to add to your list of reasons to hate that I’m dating him—”
“No,” she interrupts sternly. “I don’t hate that you’re dating him, Rose. I just fear his values may conflict with yours…in the long run. But…if he’s taking care of a child on his own, then he probably has a pretty good head on his shoulders.”
“He does.” I smile.
She takes my hand in hers and tilts her head. “Well, now I have to ask…if the two of you go the distance, how will you feel—honestly—about stepping so suddenly into motherhood?”
“Well,” I laugh slightly. “We’re not getting married tomorrow, so I have time to figure that out, don’t I? It wouldn’t be so sudden.”
She nods. “Fair. You’re right.”
I lay my other hand on top of hers. “Just…let me give this a chance. I love him…a lot, mom. It’s never felt this right with anyone else.”
A smile touches her lips, and then she pulls me in, enveloping me in her arms. “I just want you to be happy. I’m sorry I assumed I knew what that meant for you.”
I kiss her cheek and lean back to look into her eyes. “I love you, mom.”
She rests her hand on the side of my face and grins. “I love you too."
***
Later that evening, Nate drives us both back to his place for dinner. He tells me all about skeet shooting with the rest of the guys. Apparently, he and George blew everyone else’s scores out of the water. He talks about George like a good friend now, and it warms my heart.
As he turns onto his street, he reaches over and takes my hand. “Driving you home to my place, knowing we’re going to sit down to a cozy dinner…just you, Kara, and I…it’s one of the best feelings.”
I squeeze his hand. “I love it too.”
He takes a deep breath and glances at me out of the corner of his eye. “You bring out a new side of me. And I think, with you," he pauses, "I could be the happiest I’ve ever been.”
My heart leaps in my chest, and I swivel my head toward his. “Really…?” I think I must have heard him wrong because if he really means what I think he does, this is…big.
He smiles as his house comes into view. “Really. I mean, not to get all sappy, but the way I feel with you…I’ve never felt it before.”
“I love the sappy you,” I grin as tears prick my eyes.
He chuckles and shakes his head. “You’ve drawn him out of me.”
I sigh and blink joyfully at him, running his words through my head again. The happiest he’s ever been. My lip trembles. “You’re going to make me cry…”
He rubs his thumb across my knuckles as he pulls his truck up the gravel driveway in front of his house. The headlights illuminate the front steps, where Kara is already waving eagerly at our arrival. “Look at her,” he chuckles as he cuts the engine. “Apparently, she missed me.”
“I don’t blame her.” I lean over and kiss his cheek before I take a cleansing breath and push my door open to step out into the cool night air.
“Hi, Rose!” Kara grins from ear to ear as she skips down the steps and throws her small arms around my waist. “You’re back .” She buries her head against me and closes her eyes.
I guess she missed me too.
It hits me harder than I expected, and my heart tightens in my chest. I squeeze her firmly and run my fingers through her hair. “I missed you too.”
And it’s true.
I think I’ve missed Kara and Nate and this life before I even knew it existed. Giving this a chance turned out to be a risk that yielded a thousand rewards.
Nate joins us and wraps his arm around me as he rests a palm against Kara’s head. We stand together like that for a moment, and suddenly a future with them flashes before my eyes. It’s still just a dream, but it’s beautiful, and it’s stable, and it’s happier than any future I’ve ever imagined.
“Who wants a s’more?” Nate kisses the side of my forehead.
“ME!” Kara squeals, releasing me and looping her arms around Nate.
“Then get inside and get those marshmallows out.” He pats her back and laughs.
When she skips her way back inside, Nate slides his arms around my waist and dips his head to kiss me softly. “Stay here tonight?”
I nod against his mouth and smirk. “Only if you chop up some freshly split wood for the fireplace. None of that pre-split garbage.”
He chuckles. “Deal.” Then he pulls back just incrementally and looks at me with those perfect, kind, genuine eyes. “I love you. And I want to keep saying it over and over again.”
“Go ahead,” I giggle, sliding my tongue teasingly across his bottom lip.
“I love you,” he repeats. Then he kisses me again. “I love you.” He grins into my lips. “I love you.”
I rise up onto my toes and loop my arms around his neck, then I open my eyes and stare deeply into his. “I love you so much. And for the record, you’re making me the happiest I’ve ever been, too.”