Chapter 15
FIFTEEN
Waylon lay on his back in bed staring at the ceiling, his thoughts a chaotic mess. It was early Saturday morning, still dark outside. His alarm would ring soon, telling him it was time for another fun-filled day with the Adventure Buddy Club.
He scrubbed his hand down his face. He was so damn tired, but sleep had been a joke all week. It didn’t matter how many hours he technically spent in bed—his brain wouldn’t shut the hell up.
Most of it was replaying that damn night.
Frankie, curled up against him, soft and warm and so damn perfect.
Frankie, slipping out of bed in the middle of the night, leaving him cold.
Frankie, standing in his kitchen the next morning, drowning in his coat, looking like she belonged in his life.
He groaned at the idea and grabbed the other pillow to put over his face.
Which was a really stupid idea because it smelled like her. Rosemary and sleep-warmed skin.
He slammed it back down on the other side of the bed but it was too late. Her scent was in the air and his cock was standing at attention. His entire body lit up, every nerve ending crackling, hoping Frankie was there again so that this time, he could take her in his arms, breathe in her scent, and make love with her.
He hated how much he’d liked having Frankie close last Saturday night. How good it felt, after all these years, to fall asleep next to someone. He’d fully planned on waiting for her to fall asleep first and then move to the couch. He even played possum when she came out of the bathroom, thinking she’d just lie down instead of trying to talk.
When he felt her standing right beside him, he was positive that she was leaning in to kiss him. His eyes popped open only to see her inches away. He wanted to reach out and grab her in her adorable Snoopy nightshirt—he was sure she’d packed it just for him as a joke—then he realized she was only turning out the light.
Of course she was. Why would she want to kiss him after he screwed everything up? More importantly, why did he think he deserved her?
To make matters worse, he’d dreamed of Camille, and that she was upset. He’d taken her into his arms, reassuring her that things would be different this time. He dreamed of holding—then losing—Camille all over again. Suddenly, Camille was Frankie, and Waylon had felt such relief, such peace. He’d held his dream Frankie, promising he’d never hurt her. About the time he realized he was holding her for real, she was slipping out of his arms. Heart pounding, he waited for her to come back.
He couldn’t blame her for choosing the couch instead. He’d betrayed her trust in his sleep. He fought every instinct to go after her, remembering how that had turned out with Camille. Waylon could barely look at Frankie the next day. He was relieved that she’d let him back into her house to wait for the alarm to be fixed. No way was he going to leave her defenseless.
It’s not over the top , he’d told himself. It’s just one friend looking out for another.
Right?
Monday, Waylon had dragged himself into work. Elias had taken one look at him when he walked into the ambulance bay and just grinned.
“Oh, this is gonna be good.”
“Shut up.”
“I didn’t even say anything.”
“You were about to.”
Elias smirked as he leaned against the rig.
“You sleep at all last weekend?”
“I got a solid four hours.”
“Total, or per night?”
“What do you think?”
“I think I haven’t seen you this wrecked since RAP Week. And even then, you at least pretended to function.”
“I’m fine.” Waylon rubbed his eyes.
“This is incredible. I haven’t seen a denial spiral like this since, well… me. ”
Waylon’s jaw clenched. He already knew where this was going.
“Don’t.”
“Oh, I’m doing it, brother. Because if I remember correctly, we were at the rec center when you ?—”
“Elias—”
“—told me I was smitten before I even realized it. That I was breaking our protocol, ” he air-quoted, “because I spent more than one night with Wren. And now—look at you.” Elias gestured at Waylon’s entire pathetic state. “I’m not saying karma is real, but damn, brother, it is punching you in the face right now.”
“You done?”
Elias pushed off from the ambo, smug as hell . “Not even close.”
Waylon exhaled sharply and pinched the bridge of his nose. He walked around to the back of the ambo, Elias on his heels. “Don’t we have a job to do right now? ”
“I also think you’re having a full-blown existential crisis.”
Waylon grunted and tossed his gear in the back of the ambo.
Elias nodded. “That’s a yes.”
Waylon climbed into the rig, then dropped into the seat like his bones had been replaced with lead. “It’s not a crisis.”
Elias climbed in beside him, all smug amusement. “That’s what I thought once. Maybe you remember?”
Waylon shot him a glare.
Elias cackled. “You’re in the denial phase, brother. Trust me, I’ve been there. Next comes the part where you pretend you’re fine , but deep down, you’re already gone.”
Waylon leaned back, crossing his arms, jaw tight. “Told you, I am fine.”
Elias ignored him. “And after that , comes the part where you know for certain you can’t live without her?—”
“Yeah, well, I’m not you.”
Elias nodded slowly. “You’re right. Because I did something about it.”
Waylon didn’t have an answer for that.
Elias’ expression turned serious. “Frankie’s incredible, brother.”
She is .
Elias held up his hands. “Look, brother, I get it. I was right there along with you. For years, you’ve kept it fun, kept it easy, picking up a new hottie every Friday night. But now you’ve got feelings and you don’t want them. It’s a bitch, realizing you actually care about someone.”
Waylon opened his mouth to shut that down—except nothing came out.
Elias watched him carefully as amusement gave way to something a little more serious. “You think keeping your distance is safer.”
“Because it is.”
“It was a long time ago, Ram.”
“Doesn’t matter. ”
Now lying in bed a week later, Waylon hated that Elias might have had a point.
Because yeah, he did want more with Frankie.
But he wasn’t supposed to want her. Not when he knew exactly how that story ended.
Waylon sighed heavily, shoving the covers off. He wasn’t gonna lie here and wallow. He had a plan. Keep it simple. Just fix things with Frankie—keep it friendly, lighthearted.
He got showered, dressed, grabbed his keys, and headed for the rec center.
Waylon was almost to the meeting room when Stephanie called to him.
“Hey, Ram, wait up.” Stephanie jogged down the hall after him.
Waylon stopped. “Hi, Steph. What’s up?”
“Good news.” She beamed at him.
Waylon frowned. Stephanie’s good news usually meant bad news for him.
“You’re off the hook.”
Waylon blinked. “Off the hook?”
“Yeah! No more Adventure Buddies for you. I found your replacement.”
A pit opened in Waylon’s stomach.
“My replacement? For Frankie?”
“Mmm-hmm. He’s new to town and looking to make friends right away. He’s a real hottie too, whew!” She fanned herself.
“He? New? Friends?”
Hottie?
The pit became bottomless.
“Is there an echo in here?” Stephanie laughed. “I did like I promised and found your replacement as quick as I could, just as you wanted.” She tagged his arm. “I wanted to catch you before you went in so you can get on with your weekend.” Steph made shooing motions at him back down the hall toward the door. “Go on, scram, kid. Go do something fun you want to do. Your job here is done.”
He was free. No more Adventure Buddy Club. Just what he’d wanted.
Except …
“Why aren’t you scampering out the door?” Stephanie asked. “I’m honoring our agreement, remember? You said, and I quote: the second you find someone else, I’m out, no exceptions.”
Shit .
“Did I say that?”
“Mmm-hmm, Mr. Gaslighter, you did. So you’re out. Make like a prom dress and off with you. Isn’t that what you wanted?” She turned and started walking down the hall.
It was exactly what I wanted. I’m free now. No messy emotions. Frankie’s got someone new.
Then why the hell did he feel so desperate?
“Steph, wait. I don’t even know what I want to do with my day.”
She stopped and turned. “Not my problem. Go do what you used to do.”
Cocks and Strippers. Casual hookups. Someone who wouldn’t mind if I left after. Who isn’t a stubborn little pixie who makes me question what I want.
“But I’m a planner kind of guy, and I already planned for today to be an Adventure Buddy day.”
“Are you? Did you?” She quirked up an eyebrow.
“Yeah.” He gave her a firm nod. “I am and I did. So, there’s no point in me doing anything else today.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
Stephanie tilted her head. “Why is that, I wonder?”
“It’s…my medical training.” He nodded, hoping to convince her. “An d my military background. I make a plan, I enact that plan. And this,” he jabbed his index finger toward the floor, “is my Saturday plan now.”
“Ram. I can’t let you be an adventure buddy on your own. Rules.”
Shit. He hated the way his belly dropped through the floor.
This guy is a total stranger. He doesn’t know Frankie. What she needs.
“Then…I’ll be your adventure buddy, since Frankie has a new one.”
And that way I can keep an eye on the new guy. For her sake.
“I don’t need one, remember?” Stephanie tilted her head in the other direction. “But let me ask you something. As part of your training, don’t you also evaluate a plan to see if it’s working?”
“Well, yeah, of course.”
I’ll just be evaluating the new guy. Make sure he’s treating Frankie right, that’s all . Makes sense .
“So. You’re telling me that you’ve evaluated your Saturday Adventure Buddy Club plan and it’s working for you the way it is. Partnered up with Frank.”
Waylon opened his mouth to protest…
…And he couldn’t. Not a single word came out of his mouth. He clenched his jaw shut.
Dammit, how does she do that?
“Well, good news for you,” Stephanie said. “New guy isn’t here yet. But Frankie is.”
Waylon snapped to attention.
“She’s already here?”
Stephanie nodded toward the meeting room. “Sure is. And I’ll warn you—when I told her about her new partner? She seemed pretty damn excited.”
Waylon’s heart twisted.
Excited.
To be rid of me .
Waylon just stared at Steph.
“I’ll be up front waiting for the others. You two work it out.” She walked off, leaving him standing there pissed off, confused, and absolutely not leaving.
No way in hell.
You bet I’m gonna work it out .
Waylon strode down the hall, trying not to sprint as if the hottie would suddenly appear out of nowhere and run past him to get to Frankie first.
When he got to the doorway, Frankie was standing at the window at the back of the room. She spun on her heel.
“Nice to meet you, but I was wondering if you’d be willing to?—”
She stopped abruptly when she saw Waylon. Her eyes went round, like a fox caught in headlights. “Oh. It’s you.”
“Willing to…what?”
Frankie shook her head and crossed her arms. “What are you doing here? I thought you dumped me.”
“ Dumped you?”
“Yeah. I talked to Stephanie on Sunday. She said she’d found your replacement. At your request.”
Dammit! She wasn’t wrong, but that had been before he’d met her.
Frankie shrugged. “I figured I’d never see you again.”
Waylon couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You think I’d just turn around and go out the door without saying goodbye?”
A deep look of pain flashed across her face. “Par for the course,” she murmured.
Waylon’s temper flared. How dare she think he was such a selfish jerk that he’d just walk away?
“It’s okay, I’m used to people ghosting,” she added.
He came this close to saying Well, so am I when insight hit him. His anger cooled immediately. She wasn’t talking about him but about what other people had done to her. And what did Waylon expect? He was the one who’d been such an asshole. Of course she thought she’d never see him again.
But she looked…upset about that.
Waylon’s mouth went dry and he swallowed around what felt like a boulder in his throat.
“When you thought I was the other guy just now…what were you going to ask him?”
Arms still crossed, Frankie looked to the side. “Does it matter?”
“Yeah, it matters.” Waylon took a step into the room and closed the door behind him.
She met his eyes, her gaze piercing. “What are you doing? Why aren’t you leaving?” She dropped her arms to her sides.
“Because I want to know what you were going to tell him.” He ran a hand through his hair and watched Frankie’s gaze follow his hand. “It matters. A lot.”
She blinked slowly. Her gaze moved over his face and he felt it as if it were her fingertips gliding gently over his skin. Goose bumps actually rose on his arms.
“I was going to ask him if he wanted to pair up with Stephanie instead,” she said quietly.
Now Waylon blinked. “Why? That would have left you without an Adventure Buddy.”
She shook her head. “Not if I went home.”
Waylon frowned. The boulder in his throat doubled in size. “Why would you go home? Aren’t you feeling well?”
Her eyes flashed. “No, I’m feeling just fine. Amazing. Why would you ask?” She touched her face. “Am I looking pale?”
“Now that you’ve mentioned it, yeah, you do look pale.”
“Well, I’m not. I’m fine. See, that’s why I didn’t want to be paired up with a medic. They’re always telling you that you don’t look good, or you should rest, or take it easy. And I don’t want to take it easy. I want to get out there and live .”
She looked Waylon up and down and by the time she was done, it wasn’t just the goose bumps threatening to rise .
“Then we’ll get out there and live.”
She cocked her head. “What do you mean, we ?”
“I’m your Adventure Buddy, aren’t I?”
“Are you?”
“I am. New guy can team up with Stephanie. Just like you wanted.”
Dammit! Why did I say that?
“Like I wanted? So, you’re sticking around for me ?”
“Yeah.” Waylon crossed the room until he was standing right in front of her. “The new guy doesn’t know you. He doesn’t know how you hesitate just a moment and take a deep breath right before you have to do something involving heights, but that you go ahead and do it anyway. He might tell you to stop. He might underestimate you. I don’t. I know you’re gonna overcome any last bit of doubt and make that leap.”
He took another step until he was in her space and she was looking up at him. “He’s only gonna slow you down. I won’t. I’ll be cheering you on. And I’ll be the one catching you on the other side every time.”
Frankie stared into his eyes. She took a step toward him, almost closing the gap.
The door opened behind them. Waylon whirled around, ready to chew out the new guy if he dared step in.
“Oh, hey,” Stephanie said. “Got the new guy on the horn. He’s not sure if he can make it now, but he can try and rearrange?—”
“No,” they said in unison.
Waylon turned and looked at Frankie who was already staring at him again, so he didn’t see Stephanie close the door as she muttered, “Okay, okay, don’t mind me, just trying to be helpful…”