3. Poe
Poe
I groaned as I fucked my fist and came in the shower, my head pressed against the cool tile, my body jerking as my cock sputtered the last of my release. Then the shame set in.
I hated myself for this. I hated that I couldn’t come without thinking about him, that every time I closed my eyes, I saw storm gray and white-blond hair and that stupid fucking smirk.
We’d broken up nearly three months ago, and I couldn’t move on.
He doesn’t want you.
He doesn’t need you.
No one does.
My moans faded to sobs as I tried to pull myself together and ignore the tightening in my chest. Lycan certainly wasn’t whacking off in the shower, imagining the way my mouth used to warm his cock.
No, he was probably balls deep in that Vanderbilt bitch by now, loving every second.
And here I was, useless as a pig in a pony show, crying like a shithead over some fucking male that wouldn’t give me the time of day.
“Mate me,” I’d said to him. “Bite me. Take me. Make me yours.”
The horror-stricken look in his eyes still haunted me. His mouth had fallen open, and he’d stepped away. “I can’t.”
When I’d asked him why, he said the magic didn’t work like that. A shifter’s beast chose their mate for them, not the other way around. Ours hadn’t chosen each other. Maybe they would one day, but he didn’t want that. He never wanted to be mated.
He didn’t want me.
“Fuck the magic,” I’d said. “And fuck you. What are we doing here?”
Crestfallen but trying to hide it, he’d backed away and left.
And that was it.
Was I an asshole for wanting something for myself? Was I the selfish, arrogant prick who thought I could tame the wild wolf?
No, I was just an idiot. Two years of my life, recklessly devoted to him, and now I fucked my own hand to the greatest hits of my worst heartbreak.
A pounding fist against my dormitory door broke my train of pity, and I turned the water off, wrapping a towel around my waist before padding to the entry to swing it open.
“What?” I grumbled at Orion on the other side.
The VP raised a dark eyebrow and crossed his arms. “Good morning to you, too. Prick.”
I ran a hand back through my wet hair, brushing it out of my face.
The newly mated second-in-command only stood an inch or two taller than me, but he was made of solid brick: all hard muscles and deep-rooted dominance.
There was a reason he was the alpha’s second.
I couldn’t stand to look him in the eye for more than a heartbeat before my wolf urged me to glance away.
He’d come back from his honeymoon early when the Scorpions had massacred everyone and everything on Vanderbilt Ranch before abducting his sister-in-law, Maeve.
We’d found her, and she’d killed the leader of the vampires, almost dying in the process.
That had been a few days ago. Now, Orion stared at me with expectation, like he knew what I’d been up to and disapproved.
What the fuck business was it of his anyway?
“What’s going on?” I asked, choosing to ignore the judgment in his eyes and the unnecessary name-calling first thing in the morning.
“Kodiak wants to see you,” he said. “Now.”
Without giving me a chance to ask why, he turned and walked away. Despite being mated, the Bastard was still a grumpy fuck and probably always would be. I sighed, shut the door, and went to get dressed.
I avoided the side-eyes and indistinct glares from my packmates as I walked to the alpha’s office.
Everyone knew about Lycan and me. They knew we’d been together, were practically inseparable, and then suddenly…
we weren’t. I hadn’t said anything to anyone, and I suspected he hadn’t either.
But gossip spread like wildfire in a confined space, and these fuckers lived to pick apart everyone else’s lives.
After three months, I hoped it would have died down.
But then he’d been assigned to protect Ava Vanderbilt in Europe while I moped around the place like a wraith past its expiration date.
I paused outside Kodiak’s office and knocked twice, waiting until he told me to come in before I opened the door and stepped inside.
“You wanted to see me?” I asked.
Guin, the eldest Vanderbilt daughter and proverbial family matriarch, stood in front of his desk, her arms crossed, eyes on fire.
She always looked great, but today, she’d chosen black heels and a form-fitting dress that made her seem out of place on the MC’s homestead.
Her perfectly tamed strawberry-blond hair and flawless makeup seemed more suited for the boardroom than a ranch, but what the fuck did I know?
“You promised me, Kodiak,” Guin said, ignoring my presence altogether. “Ava’s alone over there.”
Kodiak sighed and stared up at her from his seat behind his desk. “Lycan assures me—”
“Lycan?” She scoffed and put her hands on her hips. “Two Bastards and a prospect against an entire army of vampires? Are you fucking kidding?”
I bit back my shock. No one talked to the alpha like that, at least no one who wanted to keep their throat where it was.
Technically, Guin wasn’t a member of the pack, even if Sol and Maeve were.
She’d never made an oath to Kodiak nor shared her blood with him.
Still, his very presence commanded respect.
He was well over six-five with dark skin and sculpted muscles, big and menacing even when he laughed.
He could break her in half if he wanted, and he wouldn’t even have to try that hard.
Despite this, he was a good alpha. Always fair.
Always calm until provoked. He only forced his dominance when he had to, which was why he had the largest pack in the Midwest.
“The vampires in Europe aren’t connected to the Scorpions here in the States,” Kodiak said. “They’re more likely to come after us than they are to go after a pre-transition shifter, bouncing around overseas.”
“You don’t know that,” Guin said.
“And,” Kodiak continued, ignoring her interjection, “I’m sending backup.”
I cleared my throat and stepped away, sensing my presence was superfluous. They didn’t need me to witness this any more than I wanted to.
“Come here, Poe,” Kodiak barked, and I stiffened, shuffling to his desk.
Oh.
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
Guin raked me over with her scrutinizing emerald eyes before shifting them back to Kodiak. “Him? Seriously?”
“Guin,” Kodiak said with much more calm than I sensed radiating off him. “Let me handle my pack. If you’re so worried about your sister, tell her to cut her trip short and come home.”
“To what?” Guin’s voice didn’t rise, which was infinitely worse.
“We have no herd. No crew. No suspects. Nothing but debts and twelve families waiting on answers I don’t have.
She’s been there three weeks and only has one signature to show for it.
Closing the other five is the only thing standing between my family and an auction sign.
” Guin paused to let that sit. “She stays. Which means you keep her alive.”
“What else can I do, Guin?” He held his hands up. “I’ve engaged the Bastards in Copenhagen, a huge shifter pack with a lot of resources. The chapter in London knows they’re coming. If that’s not good enough for you—”
“You’re insufferable.” She turned on her heels and marched out of his office. I almost expected her to slam the door on the way, but the quiet snick of the latch closing seemed even more poignant.
“That female is going to kill me,” Kodiak murmured, rubbing the space between his eyebrows before sliding his palm over his bald head.
I pursed my lips and kept my thoughts to myself. Maybe she would, but also…maybe he’d like it. After all, she was the one female who could stand toe-to-toe with him, stare him in the eyes, and tell him exactly where he could shove it. What more could anyone want from a partner?
“Have a seat, Poe.” Kodiak gestured to the spot on the other side of his desk, and I swallowed as I obeyed, placing my hands on the armrests.
He inhaled and ran his dark-brown gaze over the length of me.
I saw my own agony reflected in his examination.
The bruised bags under my eyes. The three days of scruff on my jaw.
The dirty jeans and scuffed boots and leather cut I hadn’t bothered to polish in weeks. “You feeling okay?”
I shifted in my seat and stared at the grain on his desk. I didn’t need to answer. His wolf undoubtedly sensed the truth.
“You look like shit,” he said.
I went still, a deer in the crosshairs. “So do you.”
No lies there. Running a pack that doubled as a motorcycle club wasn’t for the weak, and we’d had a rough couple of years.
Between merging with Vanderbilt Holdings and the constant Bloody Scorpions attacks, he was up to his ears in bullshit.
I doubted he got any relief, even if he invited someone to join him in bed, which I doubted.
Not that I spent much time thinking about Kodiak’s sex life, but I didn’t think he even had the time to whack off.
He snorted at my reply. “Right. Well. I have a favor to ask you.”
“A favor.” I swallowed, my throat scratchy and dry, and I resisted the urge to bolt out of the room before he could utter the words. If he said I had to go to Europe with Lycan and Ava, I’d have to obey. And I couldn’t do that.
“I need you to head to Copenhagen and help Lycan protect Ava Vanderbilt.” He adjusted his shoulders like his wolf knew the argument was coming and he had to prepare himself for the battle.
“Kodiak, I can’t—”
“I know you and Lycan have a complicated history,” he said. “And I don’t ask this lightly. But Orion’s needed here. Moose and Serpent are on a run, and Mill’s getting mated.”
“Send Ruby or Talon or…hell, even Ren would be a better option.” Lycan’s twin sister would keep him in line a hell of a lot better than I could.
Kodiak thinned his lips. “Lycan tells me Ava is close to her transition. Any day now.”