Chapter 13
Thirteen
DEMITRIA
G uilt.
Fear.
Demitria couldn’t lift a limb even if she tried. She’d lost all control. Like her body had ceased to exist. Nothing lived around her except the demon and her. A demon she would recognize anywhere. An array of emotions coursed through her for the millionth time in a sheer moment. Terror. Anger. Regret. Guilt. Always back to guilt.
“I know you.”
Its voice rumbled through her. Her entire body shook violently at the sound of it. Taloned fingers pointed at her, so still she felt as if they pierced through her chest. The demon, no more than a few feet away, could reach her within steps.
“I remember the taste of their flesh.”
The tears exploded before Demitria could stop them. Streaming from her eyes in a rush, like a dam bursting. She fought for control, but it was a pathetic attempt. A courage she just couldn’t bring herself to muster as the lifeless eyes of her mother flashed before her. Her father. She pulled the dagger from its sheath at her thigh, but her feet stayed rooted to the spot.
“I said run, dammit!”
The movement didn’t register until it was too late. The Horseman’s blade collided with the demon inches from her body as he put himself between them. He grunted, as if having been hurt, but didn’t falter, his weapon colliding with its sharpened talons. He swung at the demon, but its lean, lanky body slithered just out of reach each time as if it was nothing more than a game.
“Who sent you?” A familiar growl left the Horseman’s lips as he eyed the demon. Kellan gripped his sword with one hand, his other held firmly to his chest to staunch the wound. She could see the blood pooling beneath, dripping to the ashen ground below as it seeped through his fingers in a trickle of dark red.
“You hide this girl, but he knows. He always knows.”
The sound of the creature’s voice ran a shiver down her spine. Demitria tried to move. To lunge at the monster that tore her life apart with her dagger held steady, but the Horseman stepped into her once more. Blocking her from advancing any further. The screams of her father echoed in her mind, like that last thread pulling apart before the seams came undone. She felt as if the ground was shaking beneath her as everything began to crumble around her. Every wall she’d built up to safeguard that ache deep within her chest.
“He will come for her.”
“How do you know her?” War demanded. He swung his sword in its direction, but the creature evaded easily. The Horseman was fast, but the demon was faster.
“There are many things you do not know, Horseman. Things you have not been told.” The demon toyed with him, a wide grin brimming with razor, shark-like teeth taunting him. “Join us if you wish to survive.”
“Who sent you?” Kellan sounded angry now. Before he just looked determined. His own teeth bared in a snarl as even more blood pooled between his fingers. He swung again, and that rage deepened. Even wounded, he was dangerous. Murderous.
“I will return for her.”
The words hit her in her core. She was choking.
Its familiar, crimson eyes met her own. Staring longingly before vanishing into nothing.
Numb. She was completely and utterly numb. The walls she’d painstakingly spent years building up, trying to forget its face came crashing down around her in a matter of seconds. It knew who she was. Ten fucking years later and it still remembered.
She still remembered .
The dagger that was held firm in her grip clattered to the dirt at her feet. Demitria felt sick to her stomach and nearly vomited what little food she’d had left in her system. Her parents… she couldn’t help the sob that raked through her chest. She didn’t care that she was breaking down in front of the Horseman. The pain was too much. Too raw. Of all the creatures that had walked this earth, why had this particular one come back? Why this demon?
A new wave of tears took over. She couldn’t see anymore. Didn’t want to. Everything she’d worked toward, everything she had fought for, and she’d come undone with one glance.
“What the hell is going on?”
Demitria couldn’t answer him. She wouldn’t. She had relived that night so many times since the attack, but seeing the demon that cleaved her heart in two triggered the memory as if it was happening again before her eyes. Her father’s screams as it tore him apart. The look on her mother’s face as she was eaten alive. The smirk on that monster’s fucking face as it sought her out. Her parents’ blood bright red, dripping from its mouth as it came to finish her off.
A wound, still so raw, had torn wide open.
“What did it mean?”
No .
“The words that it spoke. Tell me the information, human!”
War was screaming, but she couldn’t do it. All she could muster was a shake of her head, that moment replaying again and again.
Blood. There was so much damn blood. Could feel it on her hands. She remembered slipping in it when Jace dragged her out of the cupboard. Coating herself in it as her legs gave out beneath her. No. Not again.
Please not again .
The Horseman collapsed. His body slowly crumbled to the ground, and her senses returned in a rush, like a tether had snapped, freeing her from its clutches.
“Horseman.” Demitria crouched over his body, but he didn’t respond. “War.” She looked him up and down, eyes catching on the rounded hole in the thick leather armor on his chest. The red blood she’d watch seep through his fingers had darkened to an unnatural color that dripped down his front. “Kellan!” Finally, he gazed up at her, azure eyes glazed over. The veins on his body grew dark as they snaked across his skin.
Shit
“Kellan what the hell is going on?” She shook him violently, desperate for him to answer. The veins in his face had darkened to the point of being black, matching the blood oozing from the hole in his chest. Nothing about him looked normal .
“…fine.” He mumbled through clenched teeth “m’ fine”
“Sure doesn’t look like it.” She scoffed, “Definitely not fine.”
“Need…time…” He groaned again, but didn’t move from the ground. His limbs heavy at his side as he lay there, near motionless as the blood forming around his wound looked like a pit of inky black.
The panic began to set in as she scanned around them. The charred trees surrounding them for what seemed like miles. The sun, still so high up above, seemed to hide behind a thin haze. The demon could be anywhere. Waiting to attack the moment the Horseman fell. She didn’t want to admit it, but without him she was vulnerable. An easy target. Its return had scared her senseless, shaking that unyielding fear free from whatever confines she’d managed to cage away in the last ten years. Facing it alone wasn’t something she could do.
The Horseman mumbled again, but it was inaudible. He mumbled once more, repeated himself. “Don’t… go anywhere.” It took him a moment to get his words out. Longer than she’d liked. Demitria felt her nerves stretch taut. “Don’t…. go… home.” The thought hadn’t even crossed her mind until he’d mentioned it. “Favor…stay away.” He uttered again.
Something nagged at the back of her mind. That feeling of a debt owed. Sure, he’d treated her like shit, but he’d also saved her life twice now, even if it hadn’t been for her benefit. She couldn’t leave him there to die. It should have been her on the ground. The demon had been after her, and he’d taken the hit.
Why did she have to care?
Kellan was out cold. His chest rose and fell as jagged breaths left his lips. The blood that pooled from his wound still ran dark, matching the color of his veins. Grabbing hold beneath his armpits, Demitria pulled. He didn’t move. His body was as heavy as he was big. A huff left her mouth before she could stop it. She scanned the surroundings again. They needed to go. The shadows danced around them eerily, playing tricks on her mind. The shaking of her fingers began again, she had to get out. Had to get away before she shut down again.
Demitria whistled for Atlas, knowing his mount would be useless to her. Atlas trotted over quickly, lowering his body beside the Horseman’s as if he could read her mind. She didn’t deserve him. Grabbing hold of the Horseman once more she pulled. The muscles in her back fought against it. Screaming at her to put him down, but she pushed them harder. Begging them to hold out a little longer.
She shouldn’t care.
She hated that she cared about a stupid debt. Fuck the Horseman. Fuck the angels. Fuck the whole gods’ damned war.
A scream of frustration exploded as she finally balanced him atop Atlas, who jumped up with the poise and grace she wished she’d just displayed. The Horseman’s mount walked over then, snorting in her direction as he pawed the ground before her.
“I’m not going to hurt him.” She whispered, extending her hand toward him. The horse shook its head, turning away from her outstretched limb. He didn’t trust her.
The feeling is mutual.
Strapped to the saddle was her sword. Demitria had never been so happy to see an object in her life. Before the horse could flee, she lunged for it. Managing to snag the tip of its sheath and pulling it free before the horse took off, kicking up dust as it went. She strapped it around her body once more. Grateful to have it back, that feeling of safety washing over. She wasn’t safe, but she at least had a chance to protect herself now.
With his body as secure as she could manage behind her, they rode out. The positioning was awkward at best. Demitria had done her best to prop him, but his body hung eerily close for comfort, arms haphazardly draped around her waist in an effort to keep him from sliding off sideways. He’d stayed upright well enough, which could only mean he had to be semi aware and not fully unconscious like she’d originally thought. The warmth of him radiated through her in a deadly embrace that had her on edge. He was too close.
They rode back toward the canyon that had shielded them the night before. Praying to whatever gods were out there that the cave was still empty. Demitria glanced behind her, watching for a brief moment as his mount followed behind in the distance. She doubted it would enter the cave with her, and hoped the beast would survive on its own.
When the canyon stood tall above them, the sigh of relief rushed through her parted lips. She hadn’t seen anything out of the ordinary and took it as a good sign. As they neared the mouth of the cave, she dismounted. Gently settling the Horseman along Atlas’s back before leading him the remainder of the way on foot. Hesitating for only a moment before crossing the threshold.
“You should come in.” Demitria called out to the horse several feet away. Rearing up on its back legs, the stallion snorted, shaking his head in displeasure. “It’ll be safer inside. I promise to give you your space.” She beckoned it over, hand outstretched, but it didn’t move toward her. “If you change your mind, we’ll be waiting.” With a sigh she went deeper.
Near the remains of the fire, Atlas curled his legs beneath him as he settled his body on the ground. Demitria slowly pulled the Horseman off and settled him against the smooth side of a stalagmite.
“Kellan, you need to wake up.” Gripping him by the shoulders, she shook him. Sweat beaded along his brow. “Wake up.” Her eyes travelled the cave as shadows seemed to dance along the wall. Reminding herself they were nothing more than that, she shook him again. At his groan, she stepped back. Inky veins snaked paths down his cheeks. From his eyes. The color of his face pallid. Nothing of the sun-kissed skin remained.
“Kellan.” She repeated, but the only thing that moved was the rise and fall of his chest in an irregular pattern.
Every bone in her body told her to leave him. To let him die in this cave where no one would be the wiser. She took a tentative step backward, toward the mouth of the cave before her feet stopped. If she left him, would that make her no better than they were?
“Fuck.” She cursed, running a shaking hand down her face in frustration. She was better than this. Despite her hatred for beings like him, she was better .
A life for a life.
Letting another heavy sigh pass through her lips, Demitria stepped up to the Horseman. Deft fingers worked the buckles of his armor as she peeled it from his chest and discarded it beside him before painstakingly stripping the shirt from his body, her muscles straining against his dead weight. The fabric clung to the wound, ripping it as another wave of the inky blood oozed from the gaping hole in his chest. Her breath caught. So much worse than she thought it was. Rimmed in black, the same dark veins snaked across his torso, thick as she watched the poison coursing through his body. As each vein darkened to that same color as it passed through his bloodstream. A thin sheen of sweat covered his upper body, his skin hot to the touch.
Demitria gently touched a finger to the wound, pulling it away and testing the blood between her fingers. Thick. Wrong.
“Shit.”
She didn’t know if she could help him. Didn’t know if there was anything she could truly do to change his fate. But he’d saved her, nonetheless, and she had to try to save him.
Pulling the hood on her head, she exited the cavern on foot, leaving Atlas with the unconscious Horseman. The only plant she would find would be yarrow. Kellan had found it somewhere seemingly not too far off, and she was confident she’d be able to do the same. Her feet carried her down the winding trail in the canyon. Around a tight bend they hadn’t gone through the last time, but she pushed on for another few minutes before the grayish-white flowers came into view. Picking enough sprigs to last the night, she returned to the cave. In her absence, Kellan’s mount had entered and was resting quietly with Atlas along the back wall.
Demitria rinsed the plant in the steady drip of water off the stalactite before finding herself in front of the Horseman, watching the rapid rise and fall of his chest. He’d told her how his own people had used the plant, and she did the same. Taking pieces into her mouth as she chewed the leaves, the sweet yet bitter flavor filled her mouth. She worked it for a few moments before spitting it into her palm and crouching before him, packing it into the wound as best she could. Kellan didn’t flinch as she worked.
When she was finished, she took a step back and took him in. The muscled planes of his chest. The body that looked so much like her own people’s, and the thin, silver scarring that seemed to mar so much of his skin.
“Shit.” Demitria cursed herself, running a hand down her face once more as she pulled herself from the Horseman.
She stared longer than she should have.
By the time the sun rose the next morning, Demitria had changed out the makeshift poultice four times. Each time the green leaves turned the same thick, inky color of his blood.
“Kellan.” She spoke, her hand gripped firmly to his broad shoulder as she shook him. The Horseman shuddered, but made no other movement. The darkening veins nearly covered his entire body now, the wound to his chest even more gruesome than before as the sides of his flesh had turned black around it, oozing that thick substance that she could only assume was toxins from the demon. Every part of her wanted to tremble at the thought of it, her hands shaking.
She needed to leave before it came back. Or before Kellan died.
Demitria paced back and forth within the cave as she decided on her course of action, warring with the thought of still leaving him to die. Doing that would make her no better than the rest of the creatures. Cruel. She wasn’t that . No matter how much she hated them, she couldn’t leave him like this to suffer. She contemplated ending his life. Putting him out of his misery wouldn’t get her anywhere, either. She wouldn’t be able to return to Solis as if nothing happened. The angel… the demon, had said something was after her. Multiple beings, in fact, and she still didn’t know what that meant. If she returned now, without any answers as to what was going on, Demitria was sure Solis would fall.
But if he got whatever answers he was after, maybe she could survive and one day return to her home. To Jace. So, Kellan needed to live.
Demitria only knew one way to do that.
Her boots heavy along the smooth rock floor of the cavern, she marched toward their mounts at the back. Coaxing his horse from the wall with an outstretched hand, it snorted, shaking its head at her approach.
“I need your help.” She stated. “Don’t make this difficult for me.” The red stallion balked out of her reach, hooves thundering along the ground as it darted for the mouth of the cave and disappearing somewhere beyond. “Useless beast.” She cursed, kicking a stone in the direction it had run off in.
Atlas nickered at her, and despite the frustration roiling through her, she smiled. Bringing a hand to the center of his forehead and scratching in his favorite spot. He didn’t take long to ready, and soon the beast was lowering himself to the ground behind the Horseman. Demitria dressed him quickly, her muscles still screaming in protest at the unforgiving weight as she pulled the dark shirt over his head before buckling the armor and cloak around him once more. Kellan was nearly dead weight in her hands.
“I don’t know if you can hear me, and I know I’m going to regret this, but you need help.” A sigh passed through her lips. “It’s my turn to want answers, now.” Linking her arms around his torso, she heaved with everything in her. Muscles straining at the movement as she righted him upon Atlas once more. Much like she had done on the way to the cave, she seated herself in front of him. Holding his arms tight around her waist as Atlas slowly jumped to his feet, and left through the opening into the awaiting sunlight beyond the cavern walls where Kellan’s mount stood waiting for them off in the distance, as if it knew she was taking his master. Nodding at the red beast once, it followed behind several strides away.
Demitria knew the Guardians were going to kill her the moment she stepped foot in front of the gates. Or would it be the other way around? Would the Horseman turn on them the moment he was better and slaughter her people anyway? He’d warned her to stay away from her home, even with the poison coursing through him, and yet… she was doing just that. Had told herself it was because he needed the medical attention. That he’d die without it, but was one life really worth that of potentially the entire community? More than Jace’s?
The decision should have been easy. She should have been able to walk away the moment he’d gone down, but she’d faltered. That nagging in the back of her mind her driving force to do better. To be better. And what? She was now bringing an enemy right to their front door.
Killing that angel hadn’t meant a thing to her. But the demon? As she stood there terrified, fumbling the weapons that were supposed to save her, he’d taken whatever blow had been meant for her. That poison that was meant for her.
A life for a life.
Atlas slowed, coming to a halt as if understanding the battle warring within. Peering up at the sun’s position in the sky, she realized she’d been riding far longer than she’d thought, time having slipped away into nothingness. Like it didn’t exist. They’d made good time. Exceptional time, actually. Atlas pushed himself harder than she’d ever felt, the speed faster than she could have ever imagined, and it almost felt as though they were flying across the barren land around them. She didn’t know if it was a power of his that she’d yet to discover. The ability to run at a speed unheard of for creatures like him. The stamina to endure the pace. It was one of the many things that made him so different from the usual animals that belonged on their planet.
Demitria made the choice to return home with him, life debt weighing heavy over her head. His kind didn’t deserve it, not after everything that they’d done to her own people.
But she couldn’t let him die .
If she wanted any chance at a life, the Horseman had to live.
Nudging Atlas forward once more, he broke into a slow canter. Instinctively clamping her arms over his to keep him remaining steady and upright. His head slumped over her shoulder, strands of dark hair falling free from the knot they’d been tied in tickled against her cheek. The shiver racked her body, like an insect crawling across her skin. Each jagged breath hot against her neck as the hint of that sweet, woodsy smell filled her senses. Another shiver, and she cursed, pushing Atlas harder. Fucking Horseman.
Fucking life debt.