Blood and War

Chapter 19

Nineteen

DEMITRIA

D emitria awoke as the sun broke over the horizon. After last night with the Horseman, she’d made up her mind. Their conversation replayed over and over as she dressed for the day. Kellan. It was strange to think of him as anything but War. A bringer of carnage and chaos. Yet last night he’d seemed almost… human, somehow. Like they’d connected.

It was odd, really. He didn’t understand the order to kill her anymore, and from what she gathered, it seemed as if he wasn’t going through with it. Despite that, she still had to leave. Not because she needed to go before his siblings came to finish the job, but because her presence would bring nothing but bloodshed and destruction to the community.

Kellan had been right the other night. The longer she stayed the more danger she brought to her home. She had to leave. She’d do anything to protect them.

She’d contemplated for hours after returning home about what her next steps should be, pacing back and forth until she was sure she’d worn tracks into the old wooden floorboards. Every minute she spent in Solis meant her people were in danger.

She could only think of one solution. In the middle of the night, she would sneak out with Atlas. Leave without Kellan and seek out her own answers.

Demitria had a vague idea of where she needed to go. For years, they’d been keeping an eye on a group of angels a few days ride from the community. From their observations, the beings had never raided any of the communities, and dare she say, they’d been peaceful. She didn’t know if they were part of the council or not, but it was her only lead. She would find them, ask them her questions, and hope to whatever gods were out there that she’d get answers.

But hope was always a dangerous thing. She hated to even think it. Feel it. Because there was nothing in this world but dread and terror. It was an illusion of something so far out of reach. Hope for the nightmares to end. For a better world, and those that felt it, believed in it, well…

Hope was the deadliest thing of all.

Shaking her head, Demitria quietly closed the door of her house as she made her way into the early morning air. Small pebbles crunched under her boots with each step she took down the cracked roads of Solis. Toward the large greenhouse in the middle of the community where her first goodbye would be. By morning she was supposed to be leaving with Kellan, but when that time came around, she already planned on being long gone. Last night she’d thought about waiting it out and following the plan he’d set, but Demitria knew she probably wouldn’t get her own questions answered. And she had several. Especially after their talk. Leaving early was not only for the safety of her people, but for her .

The loud sigh past through her lips as she walked by a few of the empty buildings. Not a single soul was awake at this hour. She pulled the cloak tighter around her body, fighting off that early chill. She’d left her hair loose, flowing around her in soft waves as to not take up even more time. There were too many things she needed to get done, and just not enough time to do them.

“Stella?” Poking her head into the greenhouse, her voice barely above a whisper. The woman was usually an early riser, and Demitria was sure she’d been puttering around for hours already.

“I’m in here!” Stella called. A mop of gray hair popped out from behind a wall, so she entered. Proving her suspicions right, the large wooden table was littered with plants of all different varieties. Herbs, flowers, and an arrangement of seeds. She must have been rearranging and transplanting. “I’ve been preparing these for you.” Stella motioned with an old withered hand toward a pile in the corner and began to expertly wrap them in a dark cloth before handing the bundle over.

“What for?” Demitria asked.

“For your journey.” Her eyes met her own in a sad smile. How did she know?

“What do you?—”

“When you’ve been around as long as I have you pick up on these things.” Stella winked, quick to return back to her work. Pocketing the seeds she’d been given, Demitria watched the woman work for some time.

“I still don’t…” Demitria’s voice carried off.

"It’s best not to question these things.” Stella’s laughter fluttered through the greenhouse, the sound filling her with a profound sadness at the thought of never hearing it again. “An old woman’s mind works in funny ways. Knows many things.”

Demitria toyed with the bundle in her pocket. She may not have had a ton of experience with the agricultural side of Solis, the woman had still taught her many things. Stella’s knowledge on the subject was vast, and she loved watching the older woman work. She herself had spent many hours with her hands in the dirt, following the woman’s instruction. Demitria firmly believed the only reason Solis thrived was because of her.

It wasn’t long before Stella shooed her out the door with a knowing look. Right. She had others that she needed to say goodbye to.

With one last lingering wave, Demitria left through the large greenhouse doors, back into the cool morning air. The sun was higher now, still ascending into the bright sky above. She didn’t let herself linger in front of the doors. It would be harder if she did.

She found herself slowly walking down the street, watching as the town slowly began to come alive. Residents exiting out of the housing building to her left, nodding in her direction once, but never saying a word. She knew their distance was because of the Horseman, but she shook it off anyway. She had her reasons for bringing him, and even if they couldn’t see it, she still didn’t regret that choice.

She found Cory sitting outside the tavern, sipping on some of Stella’s brew.

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes this morning.” Waving her over, he shot her a charming grin. She took a seat in the cool iron chair, pushing it up to the table. “You seem awfully busy this morning.”

“Couldn’t sleep.” She lied, shrugging her shoulders. Watching as a few residents entered the building.

“Where’s that friend of yours?” He nearly laughed, but caught himself as her eyes narrowed. Demitria bit her tongue. They weren’t friends. At least… she didn’t think they were, anyway.

“Not sure.” She shrugged, “Probably sleeping.” She highly doubted it, but whatever. Kellan was more than likely planning for the morning somewhere. Whatever he had in mind now she had no idea. She could feel it last night, that change in his beliefs. Demitria knew he was still adamant on reuniting with his siblings, but after that? Regardless, he wouldn’t be happy to find her gone tomorrow.

Cory nodded. “I wish you would have stopped in sooner. I’m due for patrol soon.” He sighed, downing the rest of the steaming liquid in the mug he cradled in his hands.

“Oh, okay.” With a sigh she pushed to her feet. She’d been up for over an hour already, and her list was very nearly complete. A list that had been positively pitiful, she’d realized. And clearly hadn’t let nearly enough people in. She wasn’t sure if that was a good thing, or just downright depressing.

“See you around?” He called, on his feet and already yards away. Demitria could only nod. She didn’t have it in her to truly lie to him. With one last wave, she watched as the redhead disappeared behind a building.

Alone again.

Demitria wandered aimlessly around the community for a while to kill time. Jace usually had meetings in the mornings, and he was the last on her list. She’d been dreading this one the most. It was why she’d saved him for last, knowing his would be the hardest. Leaving Jace behind would very nearly break her.

After another ten minutes of walking she gave up, making her way toward the large building he’d taken residence in.

It had to have been a small office building at one point, but when they’d founded Solis, Jace had knocked down several walls, creating a fairly open floorplan with a few larger than normal rooms she’d spent far too many nights in. His place had fared better than others around the community. The large wooden front door sat unlocked—as usual—and she casually let herself in. Jace wasn’t one for decorating, and he only displayed a few trinkets from their childhood. A single photograph of their families on a camping trip hung on the wall.

She stared at it for some time. They were smiling. Genuinely smiling. She couldn’t remember the last time they’d been that carefree. They’d hugged each other in close as another camper had snapped the shot. She could see the flames of their fire in the distance. The trees around them were exuberant and green . So alive.

Her mother’s eyes were happy. Demitria liked seeing them like that. Happy and so full of life. The image of her burned into her mind was from her very last memory. Her mother broken. Bleeding everywhere. Those once hopeful eyes silenced. Dull.

Gods, she couldn’t look at this anymore. With a deep breath, Demitria tore herself from the photo, begging the tears to withhold their siege.

She let herself into his bedroom. It was much larger than her own. The ever-familiar scent, another one of Stella’s wonderful creations of scented soap, of mint wafting over her. Through her. Closing her eyes, she let her body fall onto the soft mattress. Would she really be able to leave him behind?

She didn’t have a choice.

She was leaving for him. To protect him. The High Council wanted her dead, and by the sounds of it, someone else did too. Being in Solis only put him in danger. Leaving was for the best. It had to be.

Before long, the door shoved open, a weathered looking Jace slowly sauntering in. Dark circles were prominent under his eyes much like when she’d returned. Or maybe they had never left? His skin paler than normal, that soft glow from long hours in the sun had all but vanished. He ran a hand through his hair, a sigh passing through his lips before noticing her on the bed. Despite the fatigue plaguing his features, his eyes lit up at the sight of her.

“You’re here early.” He grinned, collapsing on the bed beside her. His arm draped lazily over her when she scooted in closer.

“I wanted to see you is all.” She shrugged.

“Oh?” He elbowed her rib in a playful manner, and she could practically hear the grin in his voice without having to look over.

“Don’t let it go to your head, Smith.” The laughter came easy with him. It always did. “Stressful meeting today?” She asked, staring up at the painfully white stucco ceiling above them.

“Yeah… Augustus sent a man over early. There’s been another raid.” Demitria could feel her stomach churning at his words. Her body froze, despite the warmth of him beside her.

Another demon attack. They were getting more and more frequent. She wouldn’t ask which community. Just another thing for her to feel guilty about.

“This isn’t on you.” Jace said, voice matter of fact. She could feel his eyes piercing into her. “I know you think these attacks are your fault after that demon, but it isn’t. This war is not your fault.” She tried to believe him, but it just got so hard. With the death of their family still so fresh in her mind once more, and her own death looming over her head, she didn’t know what to believe anymore. Was she paying a price like Kellan had? She wondered if she was being condemned from something she hadn’t even committed yet. Like she’d been set on a course for some mass destruction in the future that truly would tip the balance of their worlds. Was that why so many of these beings seemed to want her dead? Had she done something so bad that she was being punished?

“I know.” The words hadn’t come easy, but she’d said them anyway. If anything, to put his mind at ease. The less he worried about her the better. “As much as I enjoy your company, I did have a reason to come here.”

"Do you ever really need a reason?” He asked.

“No, but I still need to talk to you about something.”

“You’re leaving, aren’t you?” His gaze still hadn’t left her, and she didn’t dare turn toward him now. “With him, just like he said.”

“It’s… complicated.” She sighed, finding a pattern in the swirls of the ceiling. Anything to keep her from meeting his eyes.

“Then uncomplicate it for me.”

“Jace, I—” She refused to tell him about the demon. About what the thing had said to her. How it remembered that day…knowing that if he knew the truth, he’d lock her away someplace he thought was safe. He’d probably try and go after the monster himself, and she couldn’t let that happen. Finally, she turned to him. “Do you trust me?” She stared into those familiar green eyes that had been her lifeline time and time again. The sharp features of his face.

“With my life.” He answered.

“Then know that I wouldn’t leave without a valid reason. I went further than I’d ever gone while I was out there. Saw things… heard things that I can’t stomach the words to repeat.” She wasn’t lying, per say, but withholding some of the information. But all of it was her truths. “When I go with him, it’s to keep you safe.” Demitria touched her fingers to his cheek, willing him to believe her.

“Then I’ll go with you. We’ll do whatever it is together.” She could hear the panic rising in his voice. “You don’t have to do this alone.”

“I’m not alone.” That was a lie, and she hated the taste of the words in her mouth. Bitter, sharp, like they burned. “I will come back. I promise you.” It took every fiber of her being to hold back the sob threatening to break through. Because she didn’t know if she’d ever come back. If she’d even survive…

“I can’t let you leave.”

“Jace, you’re my best friend. I’m doing this for you. For us. For everyone in this damn community.” She sighed. “I don’t like it any more than you do.”

“You will come back.” He said, voice stern. Like he was speaking it into existence. Hope .

If she let the conversation continue, Demitria knew she’d break.

“I could stay here all day.” Changing the subject, she let herself curl into his warmth. Jace was quick to hug her body in closer, refusing to let go. He’d been her safety net for so long. She didn’t know what to do now that everything was changing.

So, she focused on the little things. Imprinting them in her mind so she would never forget, not that she ever would. She’d remember the way his arms felt as he held her like there wasn’t anyone else in the world. She’d remember the warmth of their bodies side by side, and the soft soothing caress of his hand on her arm.

She would remember them , because she didn’t ever want to let that

Demitria blinked up at the ceiling, willing the room into focus. They’d fallen asleep and had completely wasted the day away. She wouldn’t have changed it, though. Being able to spend the day with him was what she had wanted anyway.

With a yawn, she untangled herself from his muscled frame and stared out the window. Someone had already lit the lamps outside, and the sun had begun to set over the horizon as hues of pinks and reds streaked across the sky. She hoped Jace hadn’t had much to do today, but was grateful for no interruptions. Almost as if they’d known.

Climbing out of the bed, she stretched on aching legs when Jace stirred. He blinked up once, twice, then settled his gaze on her.

“Apparently we slept the entire day.” She laughed, tossing the dark cloak over her shoulders and clasping it at her throat.

“Must have needed the rest.” He shrugged, lifting to his elbows and pushing his own body off the bed. Jace ran a hand through his hair, smoothing out the golden strands that had fallen out of place during their slumber. He grabbed the leather jacket he’d discarded on the chair hours earlier and slipped it back on. “I am absolutely starving. Any plans for dinner?”

“I do now.” She motioned toward the door and they left in a hurry. The street had been busier than the morning as people milled about. Kellan was nowhere in sight, and she knew that was more than likely the reason why. She wondered what he’d gotten up to all day in her absence. Had he stayed in the infirmary the entire time? Had he come looking for her?

She told herself she didn’t care. She’d spent the day with the one person in the world she truly loved, and that was the only thing on her mind. The Horsemen could do what he wanted. She would take her last day. Her last day free , because who knew what the hell was in store next. Even Kellan didn’t know anymore.

They reached the tavern in record time, stomachs rumbling in a course of growls with the lack of food. Upon seeing Jace, Mitchell, the man that ran it, had them seated in moments as he waved them toward an empty table in the back of the building. It was never busy enough to be waiting long, but it had been the fastest she’d ever gotten to a table. Her stomach thanked him for it.

She let her eyes wander around the room. At the residents seated all around them, laughing as if they hadn’t had a care in the world as they ate the meal being served, or sipped on whatever brew Mitchell had chosen to serve. The drink hadn’t been high on their list of needs in Solis, but the man had been brewing before the Ascension as a hobby and thought that little bit of normalcy would boost the spirits of the residents. He’d been right, and since then the little tavern he’d created had patrons every day.

He returned a few minutes later with mugs filled to the brim with ale. Demitria hesitated, knowing she’d need her wits when she left tonight. She pondered it for a few moments, staring at the mug in front of her as she contemplated her next steps.

One wouldn’t hurt.

Demitria and Jace took a swig in unison, the bitter taste of the cold liquid biting at her taste buds. Mitchell brought out two small plates of food. It wasn’t a huge meal, but it was what they had. Root vegetables that Stella had grown in the greenhouse and a thin slice of meat. She didn’t know what it was, and she wouldn’t ask. They must have caught something last night. She swore to the gods, if he was feeding her a rat…

She didn’t eat the meat.

“Are you worried about the attacks?” Her voice hushed, Demitria pushed away the plate. She didn’t want anyone else to hear her question. Better to save them from going into a frenzy just yet.

Jace shook his head. “I think it’s inevitable that an attack will come.” He started, “But knowing that they’re becoming more frequent means we can prepare. Have more of us stationed outside. Arm some of those that are inside.” He shrugged. For what they’d been through he was oddly nonchalant about it all. It worried her, but she was glad to hear him taking the same necessary steps that she would have.

They thanked the owner and left, resuming the walk they’d started before the meal. Jace led their direction, and he turned left upon leaving the building, down the street toward her small home.

“Will it even make a difference?” She finally asked, now that they were out of earshot from the others.

“I’d like to think it would.” With a sigh, he looked up toward the stars. Neither one of them wanted to mention her departure. Her leaving meant one less able body to protect the ones who couldn’t fight. But maybe leaving would mean they didn’t have to fight at all.

Jace stopped in front of her door, waiting for her to make the next move. Waiting to be invited in. She couldn’t. Not this time. He’d spent the night with her numerous times in the house. As her safety net. Her best friend. The only family she had left. Demitria wanted nothing more than to spend her final night alongside him, reminiscing about the old days. About life before the Ascension. But her plan was to slip out in the middle of the night when Solis was fast asleep. She knew the guard rotations at the front gate and would only have minutes to get through unnoticed, and having him here would only complicate things more than they already needed to be.

She also didn’t even know how to say goodbye.

“I will be here before sun up. There’s no way in hell I’m letting you leave with him before I get to see you.”

As if realizing that she wouldn’t ask him in, he gave up. Demitria didn’t know what to say, so she didn’t answer. Jace wrapped his arms around her in a warm embrace, her fingers gripped hard into the fabric of his dark shirt. Unwilling to let him go.

It took every ounce of her self-control not to cry.

“I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

All she could do was nod. He wouldn’t. Reluctantly, he released his hold and took a step back into the street. Demitria stared at him for longer than she should before making her way inside. And when she closed the door, her heart cleaved in two.

She watched through a crack in the window as he stood outside for several minutes, his eyes fixed to the door. It didn’t make it any easier. She let the tears flow freely, releasing the gates that had barely held them back outside. When he finally walked away, the back of her head met the front door before her body slowly slid to the ground in a heap.

Demitria cried until the world was consumed in darkness. She wasn’t going to wait until tomorrow.