Chapter 34
Thirty-Four
KELLAN
K ellan hadn’t brought up the events that had led them here. Wouldn’t dare, in fear of the girl shutting herself off again. She still harbored that deadly calm on her face, at least she reacted to his touch, but he was worried regardless. Knowing full well how it felt to shut that part of yourself off. Emotions…Humanity. He was amazed his siblings had tolerated it for so long, even after they’d pried him from the hands of his captor. From the being that had encouraged such hatred, such bloodshed, that he’d essentially turned off any ounce of compassion he’d possessed.
Kellan was exactly what Demitria had thought of him, a monster, killing for the hell of it. Feeling the power of somethings life in his hands. The sea of red as he rampaged through the vast worlds. The crimson blood that inevitably always fell. He once reveled in those feelings. Now he was just ashamed. Seeing the destruction. The pain it had caused the inhabitants of Earth, and Earth wasn’t even his fault. He saw the carnage from the demons on her community. On the entire fucking world when he’d showed up weeks ago.
Kellan remembered what it had been like before the demons rose. So much like Eden. Beautiful and green. He didn’t care for the steel buildings and machines they’d built, but that was another story. This was the one planet where his hands were clean. In terms of mass destruction, at least. Because even here he’d spilled blood. The only difference was that it had been warranted. For survival, his and the girl beside him.
They pushed on, the never-ending terrain of nearly identical barren land until they entered the large canyon that would bring them to the angels’ camp. The wall of rock extended high overhead, hundreds of feet. No life bloomed within, but that was rare in itself anywhere these days it seemed.
An eerie feeling settled over him. Like a thousand different eyes were now watching. Like all at once, something had awoken, waiting for them to get there. He could handle demons, hell, even more Archangels. He just hoped it wasn’t the latter, knowing it would end in even more bloodshed. And in this moment, he wasn’t so sure what side his siblings would stand on.
He scanned over the canyon walls. Up to the highest peaks, willing himself to focus. Listening for the smallest sound. A creature scurrying, anything. Those eyes, whatever they were, burned into him. The world beyond blurred, like he couldn’t hone in on anything. Kellan blinked furiously, trying to rid himself of that fogginess that seemed to grip into the corners of his mind.
He couldn’t discern if it was the residual smoke from the community clouding each of his senses, or if there truly was something fucking with him from within the canyon walls. He couldn’t tell. Couldn’t fucking tell anything, it seemed. Gripping the pommel of his saddle tighter, he glanced at each of his siblings. Gabriel and Kane shared similar looks. Their jaws taut, fingers clenched around their weapons.
Kellan urged his mount up beside Demitria for the first time in days. Unwilling to yield to whatever it was that lay hiding in the canyon. He’d promised to keep her safe, and he’d do just that. Granting her the space she needed to grieve, he wouldn’t let up when danger was on the horizon.
“Are you alright?” He asked, his mount so close their legs brushed. “With…everything?”
“I don’t have a choice.” She replied, eyes focused on the slowly winding path ahead. Kellan reached behind him, fetching the canteen from his saddlebag before extending it toward her. She watched it for a moment, finally taking it from him with a nod.
“Everyone has a choice.” He whispered.
“I’ve never had a choice. Not in any of this.” Demitria unscrewed the cap, pressing her lips over the rim as she took several swigs before closing it again. “The Ascension, this price on my head, being taken against my will.” Technically, she’d agreed to go with him. But it had been through brute force. Ever the monster, he was. He lived up to that name every day, even if he hated it.
“I’m sorry.” And he was, truly. Kellan had his own choices stripped from him so many times, and now he was no better than those who’d hurt him. Following blindly to the authority of the council. Even the Dark King when he’d been his pawn.
“I don’t claim to know about your past beyond what has been said,” She started, slowly meeting his piercing gaze. “But from what I gather, you and I have shared similar fates. Bound to those we love to a fault, and doomed to a life we can’t live.”
Words had never resonated with him more.
Kellan felt his features softening as he lifted a tentative hand toward her. He needed to stop himself. Needed to pull so far away from this…this human before he caused himself anymore grief.
He dropped his hand.
They rode in that uncomfortable silence that had her squirming in the saddle, and he watched from the corner of his eyes as she repositioned herself over and over, a heavy sigh passing through her full lips. Kellan felt her staring at him, but he didn’t return the look. Focus. He had to focus on the task at hand. Find the Fallen. Figure out where Lucifer was scheming— what he was scheming—and subdue him for long enough to bring him before the council. Those were his brother’s orders. He could do that.
“Do you feel that?” Gabriel rode up beside him, his beast of a horse falling into step with his own. Kellan’s mount shook his head at the closeness, letting out a loud snort of annoyance. He ran a hand down the creature’s muscled neck to soothe him.
“No.” He didn’t feel anything, that was the problem.
“Exactly.” Gabriel narrowed his eyes as if the movement would help him hone in. When he frowned, Kellan knew his struggles were the same.
“Are you worried?” Kellan asked. His hand inched toward the sword strapped to his back. Readying himself to wield the blade that seemed to almost call out his name as his fingers neared. One glance at Kane, and he already had his bow drawn.
“I don’t know yet.” Gabriel answered. “Hold.” He raised a hand, signaling for Kane and him to stand down, but Kellan freed his blade anyway. He’d been on edge since the cave.
He dared a glance at the girl who’d yet to draw a weapon of any sort. He’d been about to bark an order at her when her mount planted his hooves and came to an abrupt halt. Atlas’s ears perked, his nicker echoing around them through the canyon.
A whinny in answer from somewhere around the bend, and to Kellan’s relief, Eire rounded the bend one hundred feet ahead of them with a body strapped to the back of her mare, its legs and arms bound tightly. At neck breaking speed she galloped toward them, only sliding to a stop feet away before colliding. Effortlessly, she sliced the bonds on the wrists and legs before tossing the body to the ground at their feet. Kellan watched as the man landed with a grunt.