Chapter 24 #2
Her eyes are open. She’s looking at me. The blast has done something to her chest that I can see and can’t process, the skin blackened, the tissue underneath visible, and I am listening for the heartbeat I have kept in my memory since a road outside Florence, the one that stopped the night I turned her, and there is nothing there to hear, and there has not been since.
“I didn’t want to live in a world without your love,” she says.
Her voice is thin and clear and all her waiting is in her eyes.
“I don’t mean a world where you died. I mean one where your love existed and wasn’t mine.
I’ve been living in that world since I got to the compound, and it is the worst place I have ever been, and this room is better. ”
“Catherine.”
“This is mine.” Her breath catches. “The choice. The timing. The reasons. All mine. Not his. Whatever he claims, this part is mine.”
Her hand finds my wrist. Her fingers are cold and getting colder, and the grip holds on to the last thing she can reach.
“Tell Celeste I’m sorry.” The words cost her the last of something. “She was right. In the garden. She was right about everything.”
Whatever Konstantin kept burning in her goes quiet. Her eyes stay on mine.
The light goes out of them as it goes out of a window when the candle behind it is spent, slowly and then all at once, and her hand loosens on my wrist, and where there was a grip there is only the cold weight of her fingers, and I am kneeling on the floor of a trophy room beside a woman who loved me so completely that the love destroyed her, and she chose the destruction, and the choice was the first free thing she’d done since the night I put a blade through her heart on a road she never should have been walking.
Konstantin is saying something from his chair.
Something about the lever. About proof. About a thesis written on the floor in front of me.
I hear it as you hear a voice through water, the words arriving a beat late and sliding off before they reach anything, and I do not look up, because he has just watched a woman die for the thing he spent his life proving was a weakness, and he believes the dying is his proof, and there is nothing I have to say to him while her hand is still warm in mine.
I lower Catherine to the stone. I close her eyes.
My hands are steady doing it, trained to it, and somewhere behind the calm something with no name is coming apart.
A sound leaves me. Low, and cracked, and I do not recognize it as mine.
I have not made it since the night I lost her.
The crescent mark is blazing through the tactical vest and the bond is taking all of it to Celeste, walking toward me somewhere in this building, and I let her feel every piece of it, because there is no version of this I could keep back and no reason left to try.
And her answer comes back. No words. It has never carried words.
What arrives is her whole self at full press, grief for the woman she fought in a garden, fury for me, and under both, carrying them, the thing Konstantin has never entered into his arithmetic, which is that love, walking toward you with intent, stops being a lever and becomes reinforcement.
Her hand is still on my wrist. Loose now. The grip is gone, and the absence is everything she wanted and everything I didn’t say and every year in a room where she waited for a door that was never going to open.
I kneel on the stone floor of a trophy room and I hold the hand of a woman I loved, and the holding is three hundred years too late, and the lateness is Konstantin’s design, and the design worked, and she died inside it on purpose, and the purpose was hers.
That’s the piece he’ll never own. The choosing. She chose, and the choosing was free, and a free choice made inside a cage is still free.
I stand. I face Konstantin.
“She proved your thesis,” I say. “Now my wife is going to disprove it.”
The bond flares. From the outside. From the mechanism in the walls that has been testing our connection since Celeste felt it in the sublevel. The trap fires.
The room answers it. The glass fronts of his cases craze from corner to corner, a hundred hairline fractures arriving at once.
The overhead lights gutter. Dust sifts from seams of stone that have not moved in a century, and the crescent mark goes from blazing to burning, a heat on my chest with teeth in it, and the shadows flatten against the floor, dragged toward the walls.
And the room fills with a pressure that is not ward-magic and is not shadow and is not telekinesis.
It is the bond itself, amplified and inverted, turned into a weapon pointed at the two people it was built to connect, and the pain that arrives through it is not physical and not emotional but structural, the frame of our love being stressed to the point of failure, and underneath the pain, riding the same frequency, the four heartbeats that are the reason I’m in this building and the reason the trap will work if I let it.
My knees want the floor. I don’t give it to them. The pain runs the length of the connection, mine and hers at once, doubled as everything between us has always been doubled, and somewhere south of me, walking, she is carrying the same fire and not slowing down.
Konstantin sits in his chair. His composure is intact.
The clinical interest with which he’s observed every piece of tonight’s architecture, from Catherine’s entrance to her sacrifice to my grief to the trap’s activation, runs on a frequency that hasn’t changed since I descended his stairs.
He watches as a scientist watches an experiment.
With detachment. With professional curiosity.
With the absolute certainty that the result will confirm the hypothesis.
He watches the trap close.
Catherine lies on the floor between us, her thesis written in the cost of it.
And through the bond, getting closer with every second, the woman who is going to disprove everything.