Chapter 31 #3
Now Maximus does look. Just a glance, a fraction of a second, but I see his expression change. See the fear flash across his face.
"We'll continue this another time," Konstantin says. "Go save my weapon. See if you can defuse her before I decide to use her."
He moves before Maximus can stop him, a blur of motion toward the ramp, toward the exit. Maximus takes one step to follow.
Then he stops.
I watch him make the choice. Watch the war on his face, the fury and the fear, the need for vengeance battling against something stronger. He could chase Konstantin. Could finally end the enemy who's been hunting him for centuries.
Instead, he turns away.
He turns toward me.
He's running, crossing the distance between us in a blur, dropping to his knees at my side. His hands find my face, my shoulders, my wound, cataloging damage with desperate efficiency.
"Celeste. Look at me."
I try to focus on his face. It keeps blurring, splitting into doubles. "You let him go."
"I let him go."
"You've been hunting him for..."
"I don't care." His voice cracks. "I don't care about Konstantin. I don't care about the war or the network or any of it. I care about you."
"That's very poor strategic thinking."
He chokes out something that might be a laugh. "You're dying, and you're critiquing my strategy?"
"Someone has to."
His hands are shaking as they press against my wound, trying to slow the bleeding.
"Valentina's dead," I manage. "I killed her."
"I know. I saw." He smooths blood-matted hair from my face. "You were magnificent."
"She told me things. About Rome. About what Konstantin did to me." Another wave of pain washes through me, and I curl into him, gasping. "I'm a weapon, Maximus. A sleeper agent. He built a trigger into me, something that will make me... make me..."
"Make you what?"
"Kill you." The words come out broken. "When he activates it, I won't be able to stop myself. I'll be forced to... I'll watch myself..." I can't finish. The horror of it chokes me.
His hands frame my face, forcing me to meet his eyes. "I know."
"You... what?"
"Konstantin told me. While we were fighting." His jaw tightens. "He was very pleased with himself. Said he'd finally found a way to destroy me that I couldn't fight. That the woman I love would be my executioner."
"And you still came to me. You still..."
"Of course I did."
"Maximus, I'm dangerous. I'm a bomb he can set off whenever he wants. You should..."
"Should what? Leave you to die?" His voice is fierce. "Let you bleed out alone because you might be used against me someday?"
"Yes."
"No." The word is absolute. "I've spent six hundred years being strategic.
Being careful. Keeping everyone at arm's length because attachment is weakness and love is a vulnerability.
" He leans closer. "And you know what it got me?
Centuries of survival. Centuries of emptiness.
Centuries of being so alone I forgot what it felt like to want someone this much. "
"I could kill you."
"You could." He doesn't look away. "And I would rather die by your hand than live another century without you."
"That's insane."
"Probably." His thumb brushes my cheek, wiping away blood or tears, I can't tell which.
"But here's what I know: I love you. Not because Konstantin designed it.
Not because of any modification or trigger or plan.
I love you because you're stubborn and fierce, and you insult me when you should be afraid.
Because you saved my compound and killed your maker and chose me over and over again. "
"What if I can't fight it? What if he activates me and I…"
"Then we'll find a way to deactivate it. We'll tear out whatever he put in you. We'll burn his work out of your blood cell by cell if we have to." His forehead presses against mine. "But I am not letting you die tonight. I am not letting him win by making us afraid of each other."
The cold is spreading faster now. I can feel myself fading, pieces of my existence slipping away into the darkness.
But his words are warm. His hands are steady. His eyes, those beautiful eyes, are full of something I never expected to see from a six-hundred-year-old vampire lord.
Hope. Love. Defiance.
"Something's wrong," I whisper. "Inside. The silver, Valentina drove it into the original modification site. Whatever Konstantin built into me, it's coming apart."
His expression goes very still. "What do you mean?"
"I can feel it. Unraveling. Like I'm coming apart at the seams." Another wave of pain. I ride it out, gritting my teeth. "The silver is destroying whatever he did to me in Rome. I don't think vampire healing can fix this. I don't think anything can fix this."
"There's a way." His voice is rough. "A bond. Deeper than what we've done before, deeper than shared blood, deeper than anything. It would anchor you to me. Make my strength yours. Give you something to hold onto while your body stabilizes."
"What kind of bond?"
"A blood bond." He holds my gaze. "It's rare. Two vampires drinking from each other simultaneously, with intent. It links them permanently, what one feels, the other feels. What one knows, the other knows. It can't be undone, Celeste. Once it's done, we're bound for eternity."
The weight of what he's offering settles over me. Forever. Not just love, not just partnership, a permanent merging of two existences.
"You'd never be free of me," I whisper. "Every thought. Every feeling. Every dark corner of my mind, you'd have access to all of it."
"Yes."
"And I'd have access to yours."
"Yes."
"Including whatever Konstantin put in me. If there's a trigger, if he activates it..." I force myself to say it. "You'd feel me trying to kill you. You'd feel everything."
"Yes."
"And you still want this?"
"I want you." He says it like it's simple.
Like it's obvious. "All of you. Even the parts Konstantin touched.
Even the weapon he tried to make. Because that's not who you are.
That's just what he did to you. And I will spend eternity helping you tear it out.
I already wanted to have a blood bond with you, even before this. "
My eyes are burning. From pain or emotion, I can't tell anymore. "You've thought about this."
"Yes. I've been trying to find the right time, the right way to ask you. I wanted to give you a choice." His voice cracks again. "I wanted it to be romantic. Candles or something. Not a parking structure. Not with you bleeding out in my arms."
"Candles would have been nice."
"I'll make it up to you. A thousand candles. A million. Every night for the rest of eternity."
"That's a lot of candles."
"I have a lot of time." His forehead presses against mine.
"Please, Celeste. Let me save you. Let me bind myself to you.
Not because you're dying, but because I love you.
Because I want forever with you. Because the thought of existing without you is more terrifying than anything Konstantin could ever do to me. "
His eyes, those beautiful eyes, are full of hope. Love. Need.
"Okay," I whisper.
"Okay?"
"Yes." I manage a smile, even though it hurts. "I choose you. I've been choosing you since the moment I arrived in your medical wing and decided to trust a vampire who could have killed me. I chose you when I stayed. When I fought for you. When I walked away with Konstantin to save your people."
"Celeste..."
"I'm not done." I find his hand, lace my fingers through his. The grip is weak, weaker than it should be, but I hold on anyway. "I don't care what Konstantin built into me. We'll find it. We'll rip it out. And until then, I will fight every second of every day to stay me. To stay yours."
"Ours," he corrects softly.
"Ours." I like the sound of that. "So do it. Save me. Bind yourself to me forever. And then..." Another wave of pain, worse than before. I gasp through it. "And then let's spend eternity making Konstantin regret ever touching me."
For a long moment, he just looks at me.
Then he nods.
"This will hurt," he says. "The bond, it's not gentle. It's going to feel like dying and being reborn all at once."
"I've done that before. Wasn't a fan."
"This is different. This is..." He struggles for words. "This is becoming part of each other. Permanently. Irrevocably."
"Maximus." I squeeze his hand. "I'm already dying. Whatever comes next can't be worse than this."
He looks at me for one more second. Then he lifts his wrist to his mouth and bites.
Blood wells up, rich and dark and smelling of power, of centuries, of him. He holds his wrist to my lips.
"Drink," he says. "And don't stop until I tell you."
I drink.