1. Briar #2
Her body stiffens immediately and she climbs to her feet. She stares down at me, shaking her head. “Briar, we’ve talked about this. You can’t–”
“I’m serious.” My voice rises as I cut her off, matching the heat building in my chest. “I don’t want a placement here. I don’t want guard duty, or politics, or to be paraded at Council events like some rare jewel you all helped polish…I want something that’s mine alone.”
By the end, my words are barely a whisper.
She exhales, but there’s no softening in her gaze. “You may not believe it, but I’d love to see you follow that dream. Maybe one day, but for now you can’t go to Ordinarius.”
I push to my feet, tossing my sketchbook and pencil to the countertop before I throw my hands into the air. “Why? Because it’s dangerous?”
“Because it’s lethal,” she snaps, her voice rising for the first time.
“The human realm is full of hunters who would see you as an ultimate prize, and that program will draw them to that college! With your bloodline they’d never stop tracking you.
It wouldn’t matter where you went within the realm.
Even Alexandra knows that and would tell you not to go! ”
My chest heaves with the anger bubbling up, the emotion unchecked for the first time ever speaking with my mom. The thought of Alexandra not helping me convince my parents sends me over the edge. It’s the last hope I had of thinking I could do this with the support of my family.
Something inside of me breaks as my mom shouts, “She knows exactly how ugly the human world is! She ran from it the first chance she got and never looked back, Briar. Yet here you are wanting to run headfirst into it!”
The sting of her words is instantaneous, landing low in my chest. My fingers curl up tightly until my nails bite into my palms. “You think I can’t handle myself.”
Her chin lifts, the queen in her answering.
“I think you have no idea what you’re walking into.
You’ve grown up in Sanguis at peace, surrounded by guards, in a world where slayers and vampires work together.
” Her hands begin to tremble. “You’ve never seen war and bloodshed.
You’ve never seen the people you love slaughtered or been forced to kill them with your own hand. ”
“Because you all have made sure I could never experience anything!” I snap, my heartbeat hammering in my ears.
“You’ve caged me in this castle under the guise of protection, but guess what?
It feels like a fucking cage! You didn’t even let me stay at the dorms of the academy, despite us being in this ‘peaceful era of Sanguis’ you love to talk about. ”
Her jaw tightens, but her voice wavers under the steel. “I have done everything in my power to keep you safe. To give you a life without fear.”
“I never asked for that.” The words are soft, and my voice trembles now. “All I’ve seen is the fraction of the world you’ve allowed me to glimpse. I want the rest of it, even if it’s ugly. Even if it’s dangerous.”
Her eyes glisten and I’m momentarily shocked at the emotional display.
“One day, you’ll understand what it’s like to have a child–a piece of your heart walking around in a dangerous world–and to silently beg the world to be kind to them.
You’ll understand why I can’t let you risk this.
I’d rather you resent me than force me to attend the funeral of my child. ”
The steam between us makes the air feel heavier than it should, and my eyes prick with my own tears that quickly spill down my cheeks. “You can’t project your own trauma onto my life, Mom. You lost your family in a tragic event, but you’re going to lose me of your own choice.”
My hand drops to the pocket where the ring rests. If she won’t give me the choice, I’ll take it.
Mom’s gaze holds mine for one last beat before she wipes away the tears she hasn’t allowed to fall. She turns and opens the door, but hesitates in the frame, glancing back at me.
“As the princess, you should be expected to inherit this throne, but we sent you to the academy, even knowing it would end with a chance to choose a placement elsewhere in Praeditus. It would hurt to see you take a position with the witches, fae, shifters, or demons, but we were always going to let you choose what called to you in our realm. Even if it means you building a life away from Sanguis and us.”
Some of my anger fades with her admission. She truly sees this ceremony as a way for me to have options, but I’ll always see this as shackles, no matter how she presents it.
We stare at each other with nothing but the sound of the water from the shower filling the space.
The tension breaks as she walks into the hallway and pulls the door shut behind her, sealing me in the warmth of the bathroom. Alone again.
Maybe we’ll never understand each other. She was born to change the realm, and all I want is a quiet life far from the very place she saved.
With one frustrated sigh, I push to my feet and approach the counter. One hand swipes a path through the fogged mirror and my reflection stares back at me.
The same tanned skin as Mom, though mine catches more sun from hours spent drawing on the castle terraces.
White hair streaked with silver undertones falls in loose waves to my waist, the gleam of it almost unnatural against the warmth of my skin.
Hazel eyes from Papa, flecked with green and gold.
My lips are full, and a cupid’s bow indents the top like Dad’s, softening the sharpness carved into my face like my father’s high cheekbones and strong jawline that hide beneath his beard.
All of them are written across me like a signature of a legacy I never agreed to carry.
I flatten my hands against the counter, letting my head hang low as I breathe, deep and slow.
The last thing I want is to hurt my family. But if I stay here, I’m betraying myself.