Chapter 12
Shane
My heart beat faster, my footsteps speeding up as I strode towards Bal’s office. I had no idea why, but my urge to see him was something I couldn’t ignore. He drew me like a bee to nectar.
“You’ll be gone overnight?”
My footsteps stuttered to a halt. Dav. That fucker was always by his master’s side.
He had a bloody mate for gods’ sake and still couldn’t leave Bal alone.
I didn’t acknowledge how ridiculous my thoughts were.
He was Bal’s right hand, yet the green-eyed monster I’d never been acquainted with before roared to life.
“Yes. You’ll ensure Sorcha is safe while we’re gone. She’s recovering, but is still tired. Johnson is aware he’ll need to take her food and drink upstairs. I’ll give Shane instructions to tell her to stay in her room and rest.”
“Shane? Why don’t you just compel her? It’s for her good after all.”
Through the open door, I heard Bal sigh. “Because I will not compel her any more than I already have. It seems wrong somehow.”
Dav’s laugh was incredulous. “Wrong? Since when do you worry about the human society’s version of right and wrong?”
“Shut the fuck up, Dav. You’re my closest friend, but that won’t stop me from removing your tongue if you piss me off.”
Dav just laughed harder. “I know. But, seriously, are you sure she’s not the wi…”
“Yes.”
Bal’s short, sharp response halted any more words from Dav. I wondered what he’d been about to say.
“Really? Okaaay then. I know when to shut up.”
Bal snorted. “No, you don't."
“True. But don’t worry about her. I’ll put Vito on her safety and ensure Johnson provides her with sustenance regularly. She’ll be fine while you're gone.”
I frowned. Gone? Gone where? I still needed his blood, even if I was almost through bloodlust. Hunger still hit me, and though it wasn’t as frequent, my desire for Bal was as strong as ever.
I only had to sense him nearby, and my cock stood to attention, my belly tightening in anticipation of his touch.
Internally, I rolled my eyes. I couldn’t afford to think my reaction was anything more than a learned response to his closeness, because, if it was anything else, if I was growing feelings for him, I was up shit creek without a paddle.
Utterly fucked. I released a heavy breath.
It had been weeks since he’d left this castle, and he had businesses to run, not to mention a war to fight.
It was inevitable that he’d pull back. I wondered whose blood I’d be forced to drink when he decided he was done with me.
My mind immediately went to Sorcha resting in the chair by her bedroom window.
No. She wasn’t strong enough for me to feed on.
My needs were too much for her; it would be dangerous.
I swallowed hard. Would feeding from her turn her on as much as the thought of sinking my fangs into her soft flesh did me?
I adjusted my hardening length and filled my lungs before breathing out.
“Shane?”
I jumped guiltily. Fuck. Of course, he’d scent me—and the desire seeping from my pores.
I pushed open the door, ignoring Dav’s smirk at the boner I was currently sporting.
The fucker always looked amused when I was around.
Like he was laughing at some private joke.
If he expected me to be ashamed of what I’d done with the Count to get through bloodlust, he’d be disappointed.
I wasn’t. It was no one’s business, not even his, no matter what he was to Bal.
Did he want to embarrass me? Or maybe he was trying to make me feel inferior or subservient.
Well, he could fuck right off. I knew he didn’t get to enjoy Bal’s touch the way I did.
The fact that he might have in the past made my upper lip pull back from my teeth.
Dav’s grin grew. “Oh, someone’s feeling feisty—or is it jealous, this morning?”
I cracked my neck. This fucker needed a punch to the face.
I was sick of his smarmy, self-confident attitude.
I didn’t care if Elliot was his mate and that I’d wronged him after the attack.
I’d apologised, and that was done as far as I was concerned.
If Dav wanted to fight it out to get some kind of revenge, I was all for it.
I tightened my fists, my wolf begging to escape. I was tempted to let him…
“Shane.”
Bal’s low warning didn’t have any effect on me.
I glared at Dav’s growing grin and the obvious challenge on his face.
Fuck it. I let my wolf push forward. My bones grew, my teeth sharpened, and my sensitive ears picked up the beats of their hearts.
They sounded like galloping horses, almost as if there were more than two hearts in the room.
Perhaps it was mine I could hear under the rush of anger and blood in my ears.
Bal was suddenly in front of me, his hand flat on my chest. “Enough, fledgling. Dav. Leave us.”
“As you wish, Count.” Dav’s smirk stayed on his face, arms crossed over his chest, as he straightened from his perch on Bal’s desk. “Later, Wolfie.”
Bal kept his gaze on me, his hand in contact with my chest, until the door clicked shut and silence fell. “Send your wolf away.”
I glared at his hot-as-sin face, wanting to lick my way along that sharp jaw.
Dav was gone, and there was no threat, but I wanted to push, to keep his attention on me.
Whether it was as punishment or just his hands on me, I didn’t care.
Yet there was something in his eyes, a weariness behind the icy glare.
I rumbled. Did ancient vampires tire like other supes?
We recovered quickly, but that didn’t mean we were immune to exhaustion and sleep deprivation.
I knew how hard he’d been working since the attack to find the culprits and bring them to his form of justice, on top of seeing to my needs, running his businesses and coordinating a war.
As King Stefan’s voice in the U.K., he was also under obligation to hold a vampire court once a month to hear any disagreements or crimes that involved vampires.
He’d made it clear that it wasn’t my place to know what went on with any of it, and I couldn’t deny it stung to realise that I’d never be party to many aspects of his life.
I might have been a powerful Alpha, responsible for the justice in my pack and town, but that was before; now I was just a fledgling.
A Made. I wasn’t an Original, so I guessed I would never be included in the workings of the Originals’ vampire courts.
Essentially, I was one of the enemy, so if he started pulling away, I couldn’t blame him.
Why did that thought hurt so damn much?
I sighed, rubbing at the ache in my chest. Dav was a dick, but it was easy to understand his dislike of me. I was an abomination who was still a dead shifter walking until I fully came out of the other side of my bloodlust, and then proved my ability to keep control of my hunger.
So I did what he’d asked and sent my wolf away.
Bal’s almost smile and look of approval did something to my insides.
“Hm, it’s good to see you can follow instructions, fledgling.”
I narrowed my eyes on his face as he went and sat behind his desk.
We both knew I followed his instructions in the bedroom every night, though we both enjoyed it if I didn’t.
But we weren’t in the throes of sex—yet.
His look remained intense, and my cock twitched as his eyes raked down my body before slowly travelling back up, resting on where my length pressed against my jeans.
Energy zipped between us when his gaze once again met mine.
“Did you need something? Are you hungry?”
“I am. Really fucking hungry, in more ways than one. But first, let’s get one thing straight. My name is Shane, whether we’re on our own in the bedroom or out of it and in company. It’s not fledgling.”
He leaned forward, put his elbows on the table, and interlocked his fingers, fixing me with a piercing gaze. I fought not to shift or fidget and held that stare, though my wolf preened, happy to submit to his greater strength.
Traitor. He just huffed and ignored me.
Bal’s lips curled, revealing his sharp fangs, which only heated my blood more.
“I’d normally make you work harder for it, but I agree.
In return, you will also respect my wishes to be called Balthazar again.
Or Bal. Count, or Count Rossi, sounds too formal, especially considering I let you swallow my blood, and make you come at least twice every night.
I also want you to use my name when I make you beg to come.
” His smile turned wicked, especially when my cheeks heated, and blood flowed south.
How did he manage to turn me on so much with just his words?
He inhaled deeply, his grin growing until his sharp teeth glinted menacingly.
Shit, the thought that he could scent me, like shifters did their mates, did funny things to my insides.
“Fine. But I stand by what I said before. Don’t compel me to kneel ever again.
If I kneel for you, it’s because it’s my choice.
I will never be forced into anything again. Not by you or anyone else.”
His face darkened, but he didn’t interrupt me, seemingly aware there was more I had to say.
“And I understand that I am a new vampire. A Made. But that does not give any of your men the right to be arseholes towards me. I’ve not hurt them, and I’ve cleared the air between me and Elliot, so Dav can fuck off.
If anyone calls me wolfie, boy, monster, or anything else your minions can think up, I’ll remove their tongues. ”
“Vampires are physical beings. So I imagine you’ll have to fight that battle with Dav yourself at some point.”
I grunted. I didn’t care. I’d been fighting battles all of my life and didn’t need anyone else to protect me.
Least of all Bal. My only concern was my self-control.
I’d lost it when the attack had happened, and though I had no qualms about hurting my enemies or anyone who threatened Bal and Sor, I didn’t want to lose it with someone who didn’t deserve it.
Elliot was a trained fighter, and I’d overpowered him easily. What if it had been an innocent….
“Shane. I will not let you hurt any innocent people. You are nearly through your bloodlust, but you will still need to learn to master your blood cravings. It will take time.” Bal’s voice softened slightly, but his face was neutral.
“We will start your training tomorrow. You will accompany me to Connor’s compound.
It will test you to be around so many people, but I believe you will be able to handle it. ”
My wolf preened at his praise, even if my stomach clenched at the thought that I might not actually be able to control my urge to feed.
Bal leaned forward, his attention making me want to shrink under its weight.
Instead, I kept my spine fixed, but suddenly found the view from his study window enticing.
Perhaps I should refuse to go. Losing control at Connor’s would cause all kinds of problems. What if I hurt someone I’d been close to?
No. I couldn’t allow that. Even the possibility of it made me feel sick.
“Shane.”
I jumped as a firm touch on my clenched jaw encouraged me to turn my head so I had to look at him.
Bal stood right in front of me. I swallowed hard, and my attention bounced from his mouth to his eyes and back again.
Red bled into his pale irises, but it wasn’t lust or hunger there; it was something else.
Something softer. Shit, broody, ice-cold Count Balthazar was difficult enough to resist. This version, with his soft, almost kind, expression, made me want to fall into his embrace and hide from the shit show of my life.
What would it be like to have him on my side, to protect me from the world…
even from myself. I shook my head. I didn’t need protection, and that kind of thinking was dangerous.
I’d never relied on anyone in my entire life, and craving that kind of relationship with someone like Balthazar Rossi was emotional suicide.
“It’s okay. I won’t allow you to harm anyone. All you need to do is stay close to me and listen. Can you do that? I won’t compel you unless it’s necessary, but I need your word that, if it is necessary, you won’t fight me.”
What could I say? The lack of control over my own actions when being compelled scared me shitless, but so did hurting the people who’d been my friends and pack. I nodded. Bal’s fingers brushed my cheek and jaw as I did.
His lips twitched, forming his patented half smile, and right then, I wanted nothing more than to slam my mouth against his.
He might satisfy my need for sex multiple times every night and encourage me to drink his blood to stay alive, but he still didn’t allow me to touch him.
And we hadn’t kissed. But I really, really wanted to.
His touch slid away, and I instantly mourned it.
Yep. I needed to keep my wants and feelings in check or he’d break me.
“Good. Now, after we visit Connor and discuss the last raid his Sentinels completed, I need to go to London. You will remain here with Sorcha and keep each other company. Make sure she eats, rests, and recovers. Once she is strong enough to work again, you’ll both accompany me to the Gambit.
Sorcha will resume her bar work, and you will watch over her. ”
My brows drew down. “You want me to babysit her?”
“No, Shane, I want you to guard her. She is…special. I always have someone protecting her. That someone will now be you.”
He was right, she was special, and the fact that he thought so warmed me more than I wanted to admit. Yet being responsible for Sor’s safety when I didn’t fully trust myself made my skin itch. “But what if I’m not ready…”
He waved a hand to cut me off, his face earnest. “You will be ready. Don’t worry. I will have your back, as will my team. Besides, Sorcha is not yet recovered, so you will have time to get a handle on your…urges before we go.”
I winced but didn’t argue. I had to try out my limits somehow.
Connor’s compound was one thing, but a nightclub, where there were very few rules and hundreds of people, didn’t seem like the best idea.
Although maybe he was right. I needed to challenge myself and be certain I was in control, because at some point, he would ask me to leave his home, and I had to be ready.