Chapter 14
Sorcha
The sun warmed my face, a juxtaposition to the icy breeze that tried to cool it with its vicious touch.
It was amazing to just stand quietly, lift my face to the sun, and feel.
I’d never had the luxury of wandering at will out in the open before Bal had spirited me to his home.
As a child, I’d been confined to my parents’ gardens and the house, and I’d never been allowed out unsupervised.
Nicolai’s townhouse had been surrounded by a large garden and lined with trees.
Sitting outside had been better than staring at the walls of my bedroom, but nothing like the experience I was enjoying at that moment.
And once I’d been claimed by Nicolai, I hadn’t left his property.
It had been a gilded cage with guards at every entrance and cameras everywhere.
He hadn’t cared one iota about my mental health or the claustrophobia and panic that resulted from knowing I was so trapped.
I crested a small hill, and the sight of the Scottish tundra stretching into the distance stole my breath.
I loved the wildness and solitude of this place so much.
I knew I’d have to leave eventually, but until then, I’d make the most of it.
And those….fudge faces, nope, still not swearing, who’d attacked me weren’t going to scare me into being locked indoors any longer.
I’d had enough of being bullied. Bal was far more powerful than my parents or Nicolai, and yet he’d given me the opportunity and safety to grow and gain confidence in myself.
I wouldn’t allow those attackers to take away the independence I’d forged.
I just wouldn’t. Despite the attack, the lake was still one of my favourite places on this estate.
In fact, they’d done me a favour. Now I was more determined than ever to learn how to protect myself.
It also made me realise that no matter where I was, I needed to stay doubly aware of my surroundings while I walked alone.
I bent my knees and lowered my right hand to the moss and grass.
Peace filtered into my mind, as if my connection to the earth centred my soul.
It was a feeling I’d become familiar with since living so close to nature.
And it was addictive. My body relaxed as I dug my nails into the dirt and inhaled the sweet, fresh scents of nature that surrounded me. I loved it so much.
Working at the Gambit was as much a challenge as it was another life experience.
I was beyond grateful for the job, but this was where I was happiest. Out in the wilds, listening to the wind dance through the grass and heather.
It was almost as if my soul had found its place in the world, and I was beyond happy out here. I was content.
The Count’s estate was huge, and the castle towers were only just visible beyond the hills I’d walked.
I wasn’t stupid enough to think that after the attack, Bal would allow me to go so far alone.
I didn’t mind. Not one bit. He was trying to keep me safe, not imprisoned like Nicolai had.
I shuddered at the thought of my husband.
Quickly I stood, using the hard work of walking fast across the uneven ground to repress thoughts of my captivity.
I shuffled against the rock, easing the discomfort of my spine where the rough stone dug in my skin.
In front of me, the water of the lochan glittered in the sunlight.
The small loch was my favourite spot on the Count’s estate.
It still was despite what had happened here.
It had taken me three weeks to heal fully from my injuries, and so much had happened over that time.
There was a pulse of desire as I thought of Bal’s head between my legs and the wicked look in his crimson eyes as he played with my body.
It had been the most amazing sexual experience of my life, and I wanted to do it again.
Soon. Though it was baffling that Bal was interested in me in that way.
I didn’t believe for a moment that sex was the reason he’d brought me to his estate.
He only had to click his fingers at the club and someone would come running.
I batted a gnat away from my face. But I also didn’t believe he’d rescued me from Nicolai out of a sense of duty or kindness.
Someone as old and powerful as Bal didn’t do things out of the goodness of their heart.
There was another reason. I just hadn’t snooped around enough to find it.
I thought about his secret room and the tapestry I’d seen.
Maybe I had found a clue. Or at least a room where there might be one.
The tapestry had been time-worn, and, from what I could make out, very basic, but there was something about it that called to me.
Even now, when I knew it was protected by a blood lock, part of me was drawn to try and see it again.
I’d done a bit of research online about the symbol I’d seen, but I’d only had a glimpse, so I didn't really know if I remembered it correctly.
When I searched the internet and looked into it, it turned out to be a triquetra, or the power of three, which had different meanings.
All I knew was that the tapestry had three symbols or perhaps images at its points, which were so badly faded they were difficult to see.
Dragging in another lungful of sweet air, I released it slowly.
It didn’t really matter what the tapestry meant when I wouldn’t get anywhere near it again.
Instead of thinking about it, I blinked and scanned the sparkling water.
The view was so beautiful. Around me, the moorland was filled with the reassuring sounds of nature.
Birds soared and chirped overhead, and the wind teased my hair.
I tilted my head and listened hard. No threats that I could see or hear.
Forcing myself to relax, I let tension drain from my muscles.
Tiredness still plagued me, especially in the evenings, but I had otherwise made a full physical recovery.
Psychologically, however, I was still a work in progress.
Even footsteps approaching my room had me tensing and ready to try to defend myself.
I hated being so nervous again. All the feelings of safety and freedom I’d found in this beautiful estate had nearly been destroyed, but after Bal and Shane had reassured me it wouldn’t happen again and that I was safe, I’d decided to trust them.
I stared out over the water, watching the birds dip and soar on invisible eddies of air.
Shane’s solid presence by my side since the attack hadn’t erased my fear, but I was conquering it, but I’d only interacted with Balthazar three times since the attack.
The first time had been the day he’d made me orgasm over and over until I’d begged him to stop.
I’d tumbled into an exhausted sleep almost immediately, utterly overwhelmed by what had happened.
I’d never experienced such pleasure. I tried not to be upset that when I’d seen him next, he’d only given me a dark look and continued with his day.
I brushed my fingers over the grass, wincing when tiny ice crystals gathered on my fingertips.
It hadn’t been frosty when I sat down. My brow furrowed.
It was cold, but not cold enough for frost in the sunshine.
Or maybe the sun had only just hit this rock before I’d sat down.
I plucked a blade of grass, shredding it viciously as my thoughts went right back to the Count.
Saying I wasn’t hurt by his dismissal would be a lie, but I was getting used to his moods.
He’d said I wasn’t a prisoner, so maybe it was time I left and stood on my own two feet.
I was grateful for the job in the Gambit.
It was good for me. At first, I was terrified of making a mistake or even talking to customers in case I messed up, but I was more accustomed to dealing with people now.
I even enjoyed seeing some of the regulars.
Yet, no matter how bad I’d been at my job in the beginning, Bal had let me continue, and I was always aware that he watched over me.
My belly clenched. I didn’t really want to leave my job, and the thought of leaving Shane just made me want to cry.
But I’d have to if I was ever going to find my own way in this world, and not become a burden…
“How are you feeling today?”
My body jerked, and my freezing palms flew to my racing heart as I glared up at Shane. “How are you so quiet for such a big man?”
He grinned at my breathless response. “Because I’m not a man, little bird.
Haven’t you heard? I’m a monster, and monsters stalk their prey.
” He wiggled his brows, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
Maybe everyone else thought of him as a monster now, but I didn’t.
I absolutely believed, right down to my soul, that he would never hurt me.