Blood, Lust, & Happy Pills (Bloodlust Duology #1)

Prologue

“Is there anything else you’d like to share with me today? Don’t forget, this is our last session together.”

“Not really.” I shook my head. That was enough for one day.

“Did you write that letter we talked about?” Dr. Green asked.

“Oh.” My eyes shifted to the letter in my hands. “I thought you forgot about that.”

“I didn’t forget about it.” She smiled, gesturing for me to unfold the crumpled paper. “You don’t have to read it to me if you don’t want to. But it may be helpful to get it off your chest.”

I took a deep breath. I didn’t want to at all. As a matter of fact, I wanted to burn it. “Do you really think it’ll help?”

“I think so.” She pushed the computer monitor away to focus on me. “Like I said, you don’t have to if you’d rather not. But I do think it might help you process some of these emotions.”

I scanned the paper, contemplating. It was covered in rips where I’d pressed too hard, scribbled out lines I no longer wanted to admit, and smudges of ink from fallen tears. It was honestly hard to read.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll never see you again, so why not?

” I cleared my throat and began to read: “You took everything from me. I should hate you, but I’ve figured out that I can’t have that kind of hatred in my heart toward people I love.

I miss you both, but I want nothing to do with you and I never will.

You destroyed my innocence so many times and I don’t understand why you never saw that as a problem.

” I stopped as my voice faltered, then took a shaky breath while Dr. Green waited.

“You took any chance I ever had at a normal life. I shouldn’t have seen that shit growing up.

I shouldn’t have to deal with any of this.

You should’ve protected me, put me first every time but you never did, and I resent you so much for that.

I’ll never understand why I wasn’t worth it to you—” I broke off.

“That’s it. That’s all I have.” I looked at Dr. Green, trying hard to fight off the unwanted emotions.

My heart was pounding in my ears, throat constricting, tears blurring my vision.

This was the last thing I’d planned to do during our last hour together.

Hopefully she was right and this would help me get the feelings out for good. “Is that it?”

“It for today?”

“Yeah. I don’t have any more.” I fidgeted in my seat. Embarrassment was probably not her goal in basically assigning me homework, but that was my main feeling at the moment. I wanted to go home now. To my new home. I was tired of this city.

“We can keep going if you want to talk about this more,” she paused as I rapidly shook my head, “or we can finish now.” She stood when I nodded.

“I wish you the best in your new home, Emery. Reach out to me anytime, okay? Email is best. We can set up video appointments until you settle in with a new therapist.”

“Thank you for everything.” I stood and we unceremoniously said our goodbyes. I had no intention of finding a new therapist. My psychiatrist was necessary, but therapy brought out more memories than I was willing to acknowledge.