Temptations #2
“What happened next?” Dennis asked. I’d expected him to get bored, but he was fully invested.
“Next would be the second incident,” I started.
“I came back to school around the end of November and I was basically ostracized. Most of the guys decided I was easy and tried to sleep with me, and the rest of my school was either terrified of me or hated me for whatever reason. This is when school life started to suck. And to make things worse, that one guy got the restraining order halfway through the year, so my whole schedule was changed to keep away from him.”
“Who was he again?”
“He was dating the girl from the other story. Well, they broke up after he tried to hook up with me. I turned him down and let her know he tried to cheat even though we hated each other. See how I’m the better person here?”
“But why’d you try to chop off his dick? That’s what I wanna know.”
“It’s what I said before: he tried to cheat, I turned him down, he was butt-hurt and spread the rumor that I did sleep with him.
I hate when people lie about me. So I told him I changed my mind and that I’d blow him, but then I pulled a knife and tried to cut it off instead.
He freaked out and escaped and refused to be near me ever again.
” I rolled my eyes. “He was so dramatic. He could’ve just told me to leave him alone. We didn’t need a restraining order.”
Dennis chuckled. “Okay. So we have the juvie story. We have the restraining order. If you don’t mind me asking, what happened to cause the psychiatric stay?”
I stiffened at the question. That was something I never talked about. Ever. Not even with Ari. This story wasn’t a fun one. “Huh.” I twirled a lock of hair, trying to find the right words for it.
“If you don’t wanna talk about it, it’s okay. I won’t ask again.”
“No, it’s fine.” I ran a hand through my hair.
“It was the last day before Christmas break.
School was out and I was walking to my bike when that girl shouted ‘hey slut! I have a question.’ I knew it was for me ‘cause she called me that all the time, so I stopped and asked what she wanted. And this is a direct quote, because I’m never gonna forget what she said that day.
“She said ‘I was wondering what your plans are for Christmas, since you’re an orphan and all. You should kill yourself. No one would miss you.’”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah. So I got on my bike and tried to run her over.”
“You what?”
“I tried to run her over,” I repeated. “I mentioned this, remember? That was the day. I drove up the sidewalk but her boyfriend, the guy who got a restraining order later, pulled her away just in time. I was so close,” I said sadly.
It was one of my greatest failures. “I was on my motorcycle. I had one at the time.”
“Where’d it go?”
“It’s gone.” I pouted at the sad fate of my bike. “I wrecked it during a manic episode a couple months before graduation. But yeah, I tried to run her over.”
“I’m guessing you got arrested again?”
“No, not that time. I went home and couldn’t stop thinking about what she said. I decided she was right and I should kill myself.”
“She got to you that bad?” Dennis asked.
“She did,” I said quietly. “She always did. Luckily, Ari and my uncle had flown to Newark to surprise me for Christmas break. Ari went to my room to scare me and found the note I’d left. Everyone panicked and they all searched until they found me on the train tracks near our house.”
“How’d they know to look there?”
“I’d talked about killing myself on train tracks before. Only to Ari, but she remembered and told them.”
“I’m glad she did,” he said.
“Meh.” I shrugged. “Anyway, they dragged me off kicking and screaming right before a train came. Long story short, they called a crisis team and I was sent to a psych ward for a while. I was diagnosed and started meds while I was there.”
It was quiet for a minute. I twirled my hair, wondering if this was finally the thing to scare him away, but he only seemed thoughtful.
“Do you remember that first breakdown you had around me?” he finally asked. “At the park. Right after the frat party.”
“Oh,” I grimaced, “I know where you’re going with this.”
“So you lied about it on purpose,” Dennis said it more than asked. “You weren’t institutionalized from trying to hit her. It was from trying to kill yourself.”
“Yeah. Sorry.” I looked down to avoid his gaze. “Can you see why I lied, though? It’s embarrassing.”
“I could tell something was missing, but I couldn’t hear what it was.”
“Probably ‘cause I bury it so I can forget about that whole year. I like to pretend most of it didn’t happen.”
“So she messed with you a lot…” Dennis was frowning.
I sighed. We came this far. I may as well get into it.
“I was like a game to her. She learned my triggers and would use them against me. On a good day, I could ignore it. Sometimes it would end in a fight until someone broke it up. But usually I had actual breakdowns.” I bit my lip, trying not to feel the emotions that came with this topic.
“She made most of the year hell for me, but at least I kicked her ass more times than I can count. I guess it was worth it to her.” I shrugged.
I’d honestly never understood that part.
“I got suspended a few times and almost expelled after a really bad one, but my aunt talked them out of it. I got mandatory therapy and anger management instead. Which was annoying but better than expulsion, I guess.”
“Your aunt sounds great at talking you out of trouble,” Dennis mused.
I laughed. “Can you tell she’s a defense lawyer? I got lucky with her job. Without her going to bat for me every single time I fucked up, I’d probably still be in prison.”
“Prison?” Dennis raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t realize you ever went there.”
“Yeah. That’s a story for a different day. I don’t mind telling it, but I feel like I’ve been talking your ear off all night.”
“I don’t mind,” he said.
“Well, I’m tired of it for the day.” I could only talk about my past for so long before it became a downer.
“No more stories of attempted castration?” He smirked as I giggled.
“Nope. I’m all done. Also, I only tried that once. Your dick’s safe with me. For now.” I grinned at his expression and lay back down.
“Good to know.” He did the same and I instinctively turned to face him. There was hardly space between us.
“Do you ever take these off?” I asked, touching the chains around his wrist.
“No.”
“What about this?” I moved to the padlock around his neck. My fingers lingered, tracing the cool metal. It seemed uncomfortable to sleep in.
“No. It stays on. Do you ever take out your clit ring? It seems uncomfortable to sleep in.”
“I can’t do this.” I dropped his choker and sat up. “I’m leaving.”
“Did I do something wrong?” He feigned concern as I climbed from the coffin. He knew exactly why I had to go—I could tell from that stupid sexy smile.
“Goodnight, Dennis.” I continued out and shut the door, leaving his faint laughter behind.