Violent, Volatile #3
“I did it!” I beamed, hopping in place. “I did it all by myself and I didn’t kill him! I didn’t even almost kill this one.”
“Shh, not so loud.” Dennis laughed as I glanced at Nate, who seemed overwhelmed by my energy. I slowed the bouncing and kept my feet still, trying to calm down. “It’s okay. You can keep going. Just don’t forget about the humans.”
I smiled and sat, then spun on the stool with my legs kicked up. “Ow.” I grimaced when I kicked one and knocked it over. I hopped up to catch it and switched to that seat instead, grinning as I propped my elbows on the bar.
“I’m guessing you drank on your own for the first time?” Nate asked, making the biggest and most obvious effort to look at my face and not my cleavage. I appreciate that. He’s not a trash person at all.
“Yeah. Kinda. Except—”
“Not really,” Dennis said. “I was close enough to stop her if anything happened.”
“There is that. But he wasn’t physically with me. So I kinda sorta did!”
“We can go now.” Dennis touched the counter and hopped over it, landing directly beside me. I squeaked and almost fell off the stool but he didn’t seem to notice or care. “Bye, Nate.”
I said my goodbye too before following Dennis to the parking lot. I skipped in circles around him, keeping a wide berth so he could keep walking.
“I can’t believe I drank on my own.” I giggled giddily. “I must be ready to go out alone now, right?”
“You’re still not. Why are you skipping in a circle like my aura?”
“Because it’s fun so why not.” I kept giggling and circling until we reached the car. I dove in and bounced in my seat. He glanced at me so I stopped bouncing but wiggled my feet instead, bouncing only from the knees down.
“Are you okay?” He asked as we exited the lot.
“Yeah. Why?”
“You’re a giant ball of energy.”
“My uncle comes back tomorrow! I guess we’re going home tomorrow, huh? I hope I’m ready to be alone with them. Do you think I am? Okay to be alone with them? Ari and my uncle?”
“I think you’ll be fine,” he said. “Your self-control is good. It’s only while you drink I’d be worried you’ll lose control.”
The car ride home was an excited blur. My thoughts were racing, drifting from subject to subject before anything could settle in. I dove out and bounded upstairs the moment we parked. I burst through the front door to see everyone home.
“Whoa.” Mateo looked up in surprise.
“I know, right? I’m so fast.” I giggled and plopped on the couch beside Ari, who greeted me with a hug.
“You’re finally back. I miss you.”
“I miss you, too! Being a vampire really cuts down on our hangout time. It’s so sad.”
“It’s awful.” She scooted closer and we intertwined arms.
“You guys are weird.” Dennis was already on the other couch reading a new book.
“Kinda like your face? Mmph—!” I jerked back as Ari covered my mouth.
“Don’t insult him. He might kill us,” she hissed.
I knocked her hand away. “Stop being scared of him. He’s not gonna kill you.” I spoke at normal volume, disregarding her hushed tone. “If he tries to kill you, I’ll kill him.”
“I would never kill her,” Dennis agreed halfheartedly. “That’s against every moral I have.”
“You have morals?”
“No.” He looked up long enough to smile at her, cold and unfriendly, before going back to his book.
Something was behind Ari’s head.
“It’s so pretty.” I reached toward the small ball of light that was floating like a little magical snow globe. “What do you think it is?”
“What’re you talking about?” she asked.
“The ball of light by your head.” I pointed at it. “It’s right behind you.”
“There’s nothing there,” Sean said. He glanced at Ari, who was staring at me like I was losing my mind. I most definitely am not. She’s the one who can’t see the thing right next to her head.
“No one sees it?” I frowned when Mateo shook his head. “I promise it’s right there.” I leaned forward to poke it, but it vanished when I reached out. “Oh. Nope, never mind. It disappeared. Anyway, as I was saying. I’m bored.”
“You weren’t saying that,” Dennis said. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I am spiffy like a daffodil.” I grinned and started toying with my shirt.
That’s a new saying. I should use that one more often.
“Did I tell you I kinda drank on my own just now? Dennis was in the bar but I went out back alone with the guy. The guy! Holy fuck, lemme tell you,” I spun to face Ari, “this guy was such a dick. He bought me a drink which is like, yay cool, y’know?
I love free alcohol so yes please. But then as I was drinking he grabbed my thigh.
Wait, no, he grabbed it before. Yup! His name was Charles he came up and introduced himself and then grabbed my thigh and I pushed his hand off so he bought me a drink, got my thigh again so I told him to stop it and this dumb bitch tried to pretend nothing happened—”
“Emy, slow down.” Ari touched my leg to stop it from shaking.
“Sorry.” I laughed. “So. I told him off because he thought buying me a drink also bought the right to grope me so I told ‘em off and followed him out back when he left to smoke and then I drank from him! All by myself. Lil’ ol’ me, by my lonesome, just a vampire drinking her drink.
” I’m doing an accent now for my own entertainment.
What kind of accent, I don’t know. But it’s a fun one.
“Have you been this hyper all day?”
“No?”
“Off and on since yesterday,” Dennis said at the same time. “Not this bad, though.”
“I think you’re starting an episode.” Ari bit her lip, eyeing my bouncing leg. She placed a hand on it and I willed myself to stop, then started fidgeting with my hands instead.
“No. I’m not.” I hate when people think that. Everyone always assumes I’m having a happy episode when I get hyper and happy. And maybe I am but I might not be. Who knows. Actually Ari would but she’s being paranoid. So who knows.
“Are you sure?” She raised her eyebrows.
I nodded. “You’ve had a lot of changes lately.
A lot of things that could trigger you. You moved last month, met new people, turned into a vampire, got a new tattoo, we’ve been staying in a different place even after your move…
” She was listing things and I was tuning out.
“Fucking shit I just realized something! I’m a vampire, guys! How awesome is that?”
There was a short silence before Mateo asked, “Did you barely notice?”
“It didn’t sink in until right now, but I’m a vampire. Like a legit one with fangs and everything! That means they’re actually real. Or I guess I should say we’re actually real.” I poked one of my spectacular fangs.
“Emy, you’re going manic,” Ari said. “Or maybe mixed. I don’t know, but something’s off. I’ve been noticing signs for a couple days and it’s getting more extreme.”
“No, I’m not. I’m always like this.” I hate how she always does this. She tries to ruin my mood the second I get hyper and always has to blame it on the stupid disorder.
“So she is?” Dennis didn’t seem so confused once Ari nodded. “I thought so. She’s been acting different since yesterday. She was mostly normal earlier, but ever since she drank at the bar a little while ago she’s been… off. She came back acting like this.”
“I’m perfectly normal. It’s only been a little while since I drank. How would you even know?”
“What do we do when she gets like this?” he asked like I hadn’t spoken.
“Keep an extra eye on her,” Ari said. “She’ll get impulsive and erratic.
She might fixate on some random venture but not always.
It’s different every time. It might be short, might be long.
Might be mild and not cause too much damage, or it might be absolutely devastating.
You never know. I just try to keep her safe and under control while it plays out.
” Her tone was somber. So serious. Totally unnecessary.
“I’m right here, you know,” I kept bouncing my leg, “and I’m not acting different nor am I going ‘manic’ or on a fucking high. I don’t even use erratic in sentences, so why would I act erratic? That makes no sense.”
“You always do. Every single time. You try to do dangerous things or spend all your money or start some whimsical adventure and I always have to stop you.”
“You don’t need to stop me. It’s always fine. I don’t know why you get so worried and freak out. Nothing is dangerous.”
“Oh, yeah? So I guess it would’ve been perfectly safe for you to hitchhike with those three creepy ass guys who pulled over on the road to talk to us. I’m sure if I let you go to their place and hang out you would’ve survived.”
“Yeah! They were nice. They were gonna take me cross country.”
“Did you really try to do that? And thought it was safe?” Sean asked. I nodded. “With three random dudes who pulled over to pick you up?”
“Yeah. Uh-huh. She thought it would be fine.” Ari shot me an annoyed look when I laughed. “I’m serious. Do I need to keep going?”
“Yes, because I don’t see your point.”
“Alright. What about the time you tried to run across a freeway to see if you’d get hit—”
“Well I didn’t, did I?”
“Because your foster brother dragged you away before you could hop the wall and start running!”
“I would’ve been fine.”
“You really think so?” Dennis asked. “With your nonexistent reflexes?”
“Yeah! My adrenaline would’ve kicked in to save me. That’s how it works, right? I wanted to try. I think it’s how you unlock superpowers.”
“See?” Ari sighed and turned to him. “This is why you have to watch her. This is her logic during an episode. It’s not that bad yet, but it’s starting. She’ll get worse until she’s out of control.”
“You make me sound like a monster.” I started laughing at the image of a giant me frolicking across a freeway. “Anyway, your examples are dumb. They would’ve been fun adventures.”
“Okay, let’s keep going. What about that time you tried to drop out of high school and move to LA to become a superstar—”
“I would’ve been discovered overnight if Aunt Helen had just let me go—”
“No, you would’ve been homeless.”
“No. I would’ve found a home and moved in. It’s not that hard. I don’t get why you have to be so pessimistic.”
“Emery, hun, this isn’t a joke.” Ari took my hand and I smiled, which only made her more serious.
“I’ve been suspecting for a couple days, but now I’m positive you’re starting an episode.
We need to regulate your sleep and eating.
Blood intake, I guess. And call your psychiatrist first thing tomorrow. ”
“I’m fine. I promise I’m fine,” I repeated for the millionth time. “Will you leave me alone? I’m not being any different than usual. This isn’t an episode, it’s how I always am.”
“You’re not always like this and you say that every time you’re going manic or hypomanic,” she said. I only stared—I didn’t know what she was talking about. “Just promise you’ll be safe? And try to work with me on calling your doctor and everything?” She held out her pinky but I didn’t take it.
“You don’t understand. I’m always safe. I know what I’m doing.”
“Listen to me.” She turned my cheek to face her as I tried to look away. “You can’t almost get yourself killed and start singing songs about it. You do that. Almost every time and you never remember.”
“Really? I do that?” I furrowed my brows when she nodded. “I don’t remember. Are the songs good? Are you mad at me?”
“I’m not mad.” She kinda almost smiled, and I smiled back. “I’m just looking out for you. And making sure everyone else knows how to, if they really wanna help.”
“I do,” Dennis said. “That’s why I asked.”
“See? No one’s mad. You know I love you. And the songs are always horrible.”
“I know you love me. I love you too.” I grinned and threw my arms around her, then froze at a bright movement.
“Don’t move.” I slowly backed out of the hug.
The small light stopped over a stack of Dennis’ books.
“It’s back again,” I whispered, pointing to the orb.
I smiled when it didn’t leave this time. “It changed color.”
“I still don’t see anything,” Sean said.
“You really don’t see that?” I sighed in frustration. “It’s right there. It’s right there and it’s moving.” I adjusted and kneeled on the couch to catch it. But just before my fingers closed around it Ari pulled me back down.
“You’re gonna fall.”
I tried again but she pulled me down a second time. “I was trying to touch it! You made it leave,” I said sadly. Now they’ll never believe me. “It was like a snowflake but it was orange and moving around. It was really pretty.”
“You should call Dr. Kelsey in the morning.”
“She’s gonna suggest new meds or a better sleep schedule and bleh, nobody wants that.” I stuck my tongue out and made a noise. “No, thanks. Anyway, the thing is real. I dunno why you guys can’t see it.”
“Is this normal?” Mateo asked Ari. He said it quietly, like I would really miss it.
“I’m normal. I’m not seeing things,” I said firmly. Just because they can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there.
“You’re normal,” Ari agreed. “You’re fine, we know.”
“Thank you.” I smiled. At least she gets it.
“Let’s go somewhere. Just us. We need some alone time. I’m sure we can find a café or something that’s still open.”
I hopped up and glanced around the room, wondering why the guys were all being so quiet.
No one was even trying to follow us this time.
Mateo forced a smile as our eyes met, while Sean was maybe avoiding me?
He seemed content to watch Ari find her keys.
But when I looked at Dennis he didn’t bother to fake anything.
His eyes were steadfast on me but not the same way as usual—it was thoughtful and calculating, like he was trying to solve a riddle.
“What?” I asked.
“Nothing,” he said.
“Are you ready?” Ari came back with her purse and keys in hand.
“Yup! Bye.” I waved before leading the way outside.