First Day Jitters
It took us both a minute to get there but of course, Dennis reached the bar before I did.
“Ladies first.” He smiled mischievously, stepping aside as security held the door for us.
I was ready to say a smartass comment, but shyness took over instead. He nearly bumped into my back—I’d stopped dead in the doorway.
“Emy!” Ari was perched on a stool, waving us over. “I came to cheer you on.” She beamed. I didn’t respond.
“What’s wrong with you?” Dennis brushed past me.
“Nothing.” I followed him even though my body was screaming to run away. This didn’t sound fun anymore. It sounded awful and terrifying.
“She’s nervous,” Ari said. “This is her nervous silence.”
“I am not,” I fibbed.
“She’s nervous,” she repeated happily. “It’ll be fun. Don’t worry.”
“Yeah, it’ll be fun.” Sean appeared at the bar’s entrance and swung the short door open, then motioned for me to join him.
“Are you sure your boss wasn’t joking when he hired me?”
“I’m sure.” Sean smiled and pulled me through the swinging door.
“Emy?” Nate looked up in surprise. “Oh, that’s right. It’s your first day.”
“I guess so,” I said, following Sean through the employee door. It was exactly as I remembered from the last time he brought me and Ari back here.
“Emy,” the owner walked out of an office to greet us, “ready for your paperwork? Once that’s done, you’ll get your license and then Sean will teach you everything you need to know.”
“Okay.” I made my voice sound confident and not anxious as hell. I barely remembered this man’s face. I couldn’t remember his name at all. It felt like I was dying. What if I fucked everything up and got fired in the first five minutes? What if I burned the place down?
“Good. Go to a booth and fill these out. Then Sean will get you set up on the site.” He placed a laptop in my hands, followed by a stack of papers. “Bring them back when you’re finished. Take your time. It’s a lot.”
I nodded before following Sean out front. “What’s your boss’ name again?” I whispered.
“Richard. He’s the owner.”
“Got it.” At least now I could pretend to remember him. We went to a far booth where Dennis and Ari were waiting. I slid in across from her. “What is all this? I didn’t bring a pen,” I said, eyeing the stack of papers.
“Here you go.” Ari fished one from her purse. “It’s a good thing one of us came prepared.”
“Thanks. I don’t know what this is.” I squinted at the top form, trying to make sense of its words. My brain wasn’t working. I felt so stupid right now.
“Tax info for your W-2,” Ari said, leaning over to help. “Put your date of birth there, today’s date, and our address. Right there.” She pointed to all the right spots.
“Thank you,” I murmured. These lines were the basics.
Of course I knew my own address, but at the moment I couldn’t think straight.
I filled in a few more lines until I reached another confusing one.
I squinted and touched my head, trying to sort through the murky thoughts.
“What’s this mean?” I asked, sliding the paper to Sean this time.
“More tax stuff.” He chuckled when I made a face. “You’ve really never done this before?”
“No. The strip club I worked at didn’t do all these formalities. It probably should’ve, but it didn’t. We just got cash and went home.”
He examined the papers and placed a finger on a line. “Initial there.” I did as I was told and his finger slid down a line. “And there.” He moved it again. “And these two. Do you know if you’re independent or not?”
I shook my head, then glanced up as a guy emerged from the employee section.
I had never seen him before. “I don’t understand any of this.
” I sighed and went back to the tax form, trying to make sense of it all.
My head was starting to hurt and I was fighting back tears of frustration. New-meds brain was ruining everything.
“This one is how many people are in your household. It’s you, Ari, and her dad. So that’s three, right? I swear it’s easy once you get the hang of it.”
The bartender I’d never met was walking past. He stopped near our booth to be nosy.
“Is this our new coworker?” he asked. Sean nodded as I gave a meek wave. “Wow,” he said, looking me over, “people like you make me glad to be myself.”
“Johnny. Don’t.” Sean gave him a look.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.
“Yeah, Johnny, why don’t you tell us what the fuck that means?” Dennis’ words were more of a threat.
“It means she’s gonna have to catch on a lot quicker than that. Hear that, new girl?” Johnny turned to me with no trace of humor. “You need to pick it up because I don’t like working with slow people.”
“So shut the fuck up and leave,” Sean said. “It’s her first day. I don’t remember you catching on that fast, either.”
“I’m trying…” I was trying not to cry as I said it. The forms were overwhelming and he was being mean for no reason.
“And now you’re crying. What are you, bipolar?” Johnny laughed like it was the most hilarious joke.
Ari’s mouth dropped. “Stop being a little bitch. You don’t even fucking know her.” She snatched the papers and glared at him.
“I’m just saying—”
“I’m just saying,” she imitated his voice. “Nobody fucking asked you to come over here. If you wanna ‘just say’ shit, go do it somewhere else. You’re being an asshole.” She stared him down until he shifted uncomfortably.
“Really, Johnny. Today’s not the day,” Sean said. “Aren’t you off already?”
“Go home before I kill you.”
“You won’t kill me,” Johnny scoffed, but his confidence left at Dennis’ fixed stare. “Fine. I’m going.” He threw a hand up in surrender. “See you, new girl.”
“He’s mean,” I said the moment he was gone. “I’m really trying, but these papers are asking too many questions and I don’t know how taxes work. My medicine is making me confused and I’m not used to being an adult yet and life is confusing.” I wiped a stray tear as Sean gave me a side hug.
“Don’t worry, hun. I’m filling them out for you.” Ari glanced up from the third form, forcing a smile. “You’ll just need to sign and initial a few spots once I’m done.”
“You have to ignore him. That’s how he is to everyone.” Sean let go as I nodded. “You’ll get used to him, eventually. On one of your good days, you might even like him.”
“Here.” Ari slid the stack of papers my way. “Sign all the blank lines and initial the ones I dotted. There should be seven.”
I took the pen and started signing. I was still in a tearful mood and it felt so pathetic.
Hopefully my new coworkers wouldn’t catch on that Johnny was right about me being bipolar.
It was a typical ignorant joke—the weather is bipolar, my girlfriend is bipolar, that person’s acting grumpy so they must be bipolar!
—but I was always paranoid that someone would figure it out for real, maybe someone who did know the signs and might recognize them, and I would be outed as mentally ill to people I didn’t know or trust.
“Thank you guys.” I gathered the papers and made a neat stack, then handed Ari’s pen back. “I feel better.”
“Good. Now onto the boring part.” Sean opened the laptop and we started the next part: getting licensed. It took a couple of hours, but I somehow got it done despite my foggy brain. Once I was certified and good to go, he closed the laptop and stood. “Ready to learn some drinks?” he asked.
I nodded. The nerves and anxiety were officially gone. We said bye to Ari and Dennis, then dropped everything at Richard’s office before returning to the bar to get started.
“What do I get to learn first?” I asked excitedly.
“The house pour.”
“What’s a house pour?” I leaned against the counter furthest from any customers. “And what’s that thingy? What does it do?”
“Hold on, I’m about to explain.” Sean laughed at my impatience. “This is a jigger for measuring.” He held up the contraption.
“What if I can’t find a jiggermathingy?”
“That’s not a word.” He smiled as Dennis laughed from afar. I should’ve known they’d be eavesdropping. “We free pour here, so it’s just for training.”
Over the next hour or so, Sean showed me how everything worked while Nate helped customers. For the most part, I already knew enough about making drinks to hold my own with that part.
“Can I get a drink?”
“Sure.” Nate was first to respond to the customer. “What can I get started for you?”
“I want her.” The man nodded toward me.
“What can I get you?” I asked sweetly, taking up a post beside Nate. Sean gave me a wary look but I waved it off. I had an hour of training under my belt now—I basically got this.
“Adios.”
“Motherfucker! Coming right up.” I grabbed a glass and set to work. I hesitated a couple times, but Sean was quick to point out anything I couldn’t find. A minute later, I slid a complete adios motherfucker to the man.
“How’d I do?” I asked Sean.
“Perfect.” He was undeniably impressed. “Now comes payment.”
“Oopsie,” I giggled, “totally forgot about that. Open or closed, hun?” I turned back to the man.
“Open. Everything they get, too.” He set down a card while nodding toward a group of men playing pool.
Sean led me to a computer and outlined the payment process, which didn’t take long at all. It was actually pretty self-explanatory.
“Johnny’s gonna feel stupid when he sees how fast you’re catching on,” he said. “Have you made an adios before, or was that your first?”
“It was my first. But I’ve ordered them a million times, so I remember how they’re made. I’m not as dumb as people think, you know.”
“I never said you’re dumb.” Sean leaned against the register, his eyes drifting past me to Dennis. “Whimsical, maybe. But never dumb. I know you’re smart.”
“Why’re you looking at Dennis?” I asked, following his gaze.
“No reason.” Sean set the card aside and led me to another area.
Training went much the same as that for the next few hours. I learned a ton, asked for a lot of repetition due to my foggy brain, shadowed a bit, and helped a couple of customers while Sean stayed close to oversee. Break time came and went.