Chapter Thirty-Four
It is an especially cold morning. Our breath lingers in the air before our mouths like smoke as we stand rubbing our hands together to generate warmth. Lillienne, Diarmid and I are huddled together near the front entrance of the manor, waiting for the others to arrive.
Diarmid’s legs quiver, the fabric of his loose trousers rippling all over. Whether with the cold or out of nerves I cannot tell.
‘Did you sleep well, Diarmid?’ I make an attempt at small talk, unsure if he will welcome it, or succumb to his anxiety.
‘M-much better than I did in that dreadful infirmary, thank you.’ He gives me a tight-lipped smile, seemingly appreciative to have been asked such a question.
‘I’m surprised you’re even joining us this morning. You don’t much seem like the dangerous adventuring type,’ Lillienne says. ‘You’re so… delicate.’
I expect the man to be displeased at such a slighted insult, but he just offers her the same version of the smile he gave to me, only this time, those little creases appear in the corners of his eyes. There is an ease about him, when he looks at her.
‘I thought, if I do not turn up this morning, I will forever find myself to be weak and unremarkable. There was not much decision-making to be had when my self-image was on the line.’
Lillienne appears pleasantly surprised at his response, her cheeks flushing, either with the cold or the wonder at the man before her. ‘That’s very… brave. I can only applaud someone looking so bravely in the face of change, someone who can confront themselves so assuredly. Good on you, Erskine.’
She gives him a playful – and awkwardly timed – punch on his shoulder. He holds eye contact, palm to the place where her hand had made contact. What in the name of the gods is going on. The last time I saw Lillienne so flustered was – well, I’ve never seen Lillienne like this before.
‘There they are. I told you they’d already be waiting out here,’ Calli’s voice sounds out from behind us.
There she stands on the step, in a velvet gown of deep red that compliments her hair, which is piled high atop her head in a neat style that suits her soft features very well. An agreeable twisting of a crown atop her head. Flattering. Regal.
On the step higher than her, stands a grouchy-looking Cole, dressed in the same white shirt as he wore yesterday, only buttoned up and paired with beige trousers, and an overcoat to match.
‘Not a morning person are you, Cole? Or does the sun weaken you?’ Lillienne shouts to him, no doubt relishing in how miserable a prick he looks.
‘Fuck you, girl-whose-name-I-haven’t-even-bothered-to-remember,’ he grumbles, presenting her with his middle finger.
The great, arched door opens further behind him, and two large, brown trunks are pushed out, Eliaz appearing in the sun after them.
Without being fully conscious of it, I hold my breath at the sight of him, black leather all over, hair falling in just the right places across his forehead.
The sun creates the illusion that his skin is full of colour, of life, and he appears to be glowing golden from the inside out.
Tiny prickles of perspiration litter his sharp features as though his face is glittering with thousands of tiny stars. He runs his hand through his hair, muscles in his arms flexed and taut, and gives one of the trunks a strong kick.
‘I really appreciate your help with the luggage, both of you. It’s not like they weigh the same as a small carriage or anything.’ He spots me staring up at him, and brings his hand up in the air, a gesture very close to a wave. ‘Morning, Princess.’
A little confused by his sudden attention, I bring my hand up too. ‘Uh hi?’
‘You were the one insistent on bringing so much useless shit. It’s not our fault you couldn’t just make do with the clothes on your back,’ Cole says, ignoring Eliaz’s interaction with me.
‘Even I am fine with just this dress.’ Calli smooths out the velvet on her waist. ‘It’s my best one and we have to make a good impression, we’re potentially going to meet the emperor after all.’
‘Exactly, Sister. And that is why I packed heavy. We won’t be looking so fresh after our journey by sea.’ Eliaz’s eyes fall on Diarmid, who scratches at his neck, averting his eyes to the sky. ‘I am expecting a fair amount of seasickness.’
‘Forget the luggage,’ Lillienne hugs herself tight, shivering. ‘Can we get this godsforsaken show on the road so I might have a chance at accumulating some more heat. My fingers are blue, and my elbows are numb.’
‘Your elbows?’ Cole scoffs.
‘I don’t know why, I thought it was a human thing.’ Lillienne shrugs.
‘We will leave when the carriages arrive. They are due to be here soon.’ Eliaz pulls a pocket watch from the pocket of his coat. ‘Five minutes.’
‘Carriages!’ Lillienne exclaims, jumping up and down like a child. ‘I thought we’d travel on foot. Just know, Eliaz, if I was someone who thought men worthy of being hugged, I would definitely hug you right now.’
Eliaz laughs deeply. ‘You’re most welcome. Happy to be considered at least.’
Diarmid pockets his hands, his hat firmly on his head for once, and coughs lightly.
‘How far is it to Arlinman?’ I ask Eliaz. ‘Can we expect to be there by mid-day?’
‘Arlinman is less than a day’s ride north from here, weather permitting. Don’t stress, Princess. We will get there, when we get there.’
I was hoping we’d be much closer to the coast from here. The quicker we get to the ship, the quicker our journey officially begins. I still feel as though we are as far away from a resolution to all this mess as we were before I came to Umbra.
The carriages arrive exactly when Eliaz had predicted them to, two humble wooden structures, with fading red curtains on the scratched windows, pulled by brown horses, each with a unique stripe down the snout.
I tentatively approach the closest, regarding the emptiness of its sleek and muscular back. ‘How peculiar, the absence of wings,’ I remark.
‘How nice these guys actually are,’ Lillienne laughs, the horse whose chin she tickles, snorts in her face with clumsy affection. Diarmid runs his fingers through the mane of the horse with the most white on its face. ‘Such simple beauty.’
Cole rolls his eyes, ‘They’re horses, nothing special. You guys are absurd.’
Eliaz pats him on the back, chuckling. ‘You’re just bitter because no-one has ever found you quite so mesmerising as they do the mares. Now come on, we best get going.’
Lillienne drags Diarmid into the first carriage, and Calli quietly takes herself to the other, perhaps more comfortable with travelling with her brother, which is understandable.
Sticking with the idea of travelling by closeness, I plant a foot on the step of Lillienne and Diarmid’s carriage, my hands firm on the railing, preparing to hoist myself up.
But a barrier appears, a resistance against my body. Across my chest, an outstretched arm, clothed in black.
‘Not so fast, Princess. We should travel together. I expect we will need the time to talk tactics.’ Taking a step back, I screw my face up at the Umbrian king.
‘Tactics? As far as I’m concerned, we turn up on Attanae, sing the praises of whatever Emperor we find there, in the hopes he finds us agreeable enough to talk to him. There’s no need for a fully-fledged battle plan.’
‘Shit plan.’ He gestures to his raven-haired friend, ‘Cole, you will be travelling with the Reyheni’s.’
‘No,’ Cole and I groan in unison.
‘I mean, Lillienne will bite his head off within ten seconds. As much as I disagree with his presence, it’s really for his own good if I travel with my friends.’
Cole slinks over, smirking. ‘On second thought, I quite like the idea of a challenge, perhaps I might convince her that I can be quite enjoyable company.’ He stops by my side before climbing up to the carriage. ‘Besides, I’ve never shied away from a little biting.’
‘Oh gods, I’m going to vomit.’ I say, holding my mouth as though I might actually be sick. What a gross excuse for a human being.
‘He’s harmless,’ Eliaz says, guiding me towards the carriage we will be travelling in.
‘Ew, move over, you slimy pervert or I’ll rip your ears off!’ Lillienne can be heard shouting through the closed carriage door.
‘She certainly isn’t,’ I reply.
We laugh, softly as though we’re both aware of that unusual pulling in the air, unsure whether we are permitted to indulge in the luxury of happiness. An exchanging of hesitant breaths before we embark on a journey to an undetermined resolve.
It is only when I sit there, on the bench opposite him, our feet brushing in the centre, that I find it in myself to believe that I should allow myself to enjoy his company.
And as his face unstiffens, and his lips tug with the temptation of a smile, I know that, in that moment, he has unearthed that belief within himself also.