Chapter 28 Vynsiel
VYNSIEL
“How is the queen regent’s metal stability?” Izzy asked once we were alone, well away from others.
We’d had our time being seen around campus, strolling the stone walkways on the eastern side of the Ysalon River.
I’d shown Izzy The Bower bar, Cliffside Arena, and the magical combat training facility.
We’d then sat and chatted on the campus green for a while before going somewhere more secluded, a lookout atop the cliffs south of the lesser residence.
I’d hoped Izzy had brought me here for more pleasurable activities. I couldn’t get her soft kiss on my cheek from yesterday out of my head. My spirit longed for more.
Apparently though, she had other ideas.
I sighed. “I don’t know her well, but I’ve met her a few times.
I wouldn’t call her unstable, but she is quite paranoid.
She’s constantly on guard, worried someone’s going to take her power, assassinate her.
Beyond that…” How did I say it? “She doesn’t care…
about anyone. She barely registers Saldrea, her own daughter, as a useful pawn.
Everyone else is… a threat, a nuisance, or nothing at all to her. ”
“So, she’s a sociopath,” Izzy stated it clearly.
“Essentially, yes.”
Izzy grimaced. “Great. And the rumors of her being in league with the titans?”
“Heard that, did you?” I sighed. “It’s nothing new, but no one’s ever proved she had anything to do with letting the titans into the palace the night the royal family was killed. But… given how friendly she is with them now… who knows.”
Izzy nodded as she gazed out over the cliffs before asking. “And Saldrea?”
“She’s definitely up to something with the titans on campus, but I have no clue what.”
“Is she unstable, paranoid?” Izzy asked.
“She flies off the handle now and then. I’m not sure I’d go so far as to say unstable, but she’s certainly got one hell of a temper… but she’s also smart and calculating and cunning, which makes her even more dangerous.”
Izzy shook her head. “Fuck,” Izzy breathed. I couldn’t see her eyes, but I had a feeling from her sour tone, she was rolling them.
Then she looked at me, those sea-green eyes intense. “And you’re willing to risk her wrath… for me?”
“I’d risk anything for you,” I whispered. Too much? Probably.
“Because I was good to you? Because I’m determined? Because I somehow give you hope, and you think I can change all this?” She waved her arm at the world around us.
“Yes.” But more importantly, because I believe you can heal what remains of my heart. And because my spirit and yours are forever intertwined. I couldn’t leave you or hurt you if I wanted to.
She needed more than a one-word answer, her look uncertain still.
“Your spirit burns like a thousand bonfires,” I said, reverent.
Her eyes went wide, then she cocked her head in thought.
“And… as a seraphim… you have fire affinity, which is linked to spirit, so… you’d know. Huh.” It came out clinically, like reciting from a textbook. Sometimes I had to remind myself she was still so new to this world.
“Yes. You’re strong Izzy, and with the right training… well… if anyone could stand up to Saldrea, it would be you.”
She let out a long sigh. I was putting a lot on her.
“I don’t know,” she said with a smirk. “My knack for challenging authority isn’t my best trait. It only gets me into trouble.”
“Trouble is what this world desperately needs,” I whispered. But I sensed I was pushing too hard. I backed off. “When you’re ready, that is.”
She gazed at me for a long time, eyes narrowing before she gave a little sigh. “You… need this world to change, don’t you?”
“Yes.” She’d seen right through me. “But not just me. So many others need this world to change.” And even more than that, I need you to change me, heal me, so I can be whole again.
She nodded somberly. Then she looked away, her voice so very soft when she spoke next.
“And is that all I am to you? A tool for change?”
“No,” I breathed, my heart racing. “You’re so much more.”
She nodded, as if she’d sensed how I felt. Perhaps her spirit already felt the pull?
“And… what if I was in a relationship?” she whispered. Something about how she asked suggested she was, but also that she didn’t want to be.
My mind ticked back to that first magic class, where Saldrea had punished her… and the demon who’d come to Izzy’s aid.
I had to ask. “The demon, from magic class?”
She turned to me, one brow raised. The look was hard to read. She seemed caught off guard — which suggested I was right — but also a little put off.
“Rook?” She laughed. “We were together once… not anymore.”
Ah.
“Good. You can’t trust demons.”
She cocked her head. “No? Why? Or should I not trust anyone, even you?” She was on guard now. I’d said the wrong thing.
Shit.
“Demons know only lust and war. He can’t love you…” like I could.
Her eyes narrowed. I got the feeling she sensed where that sentence had been going.
“And… what do you know of love?” she asked softly.
So little.
“Only what I’ve known since I met you.” The truth.
She blushed.
Then grimaced.
Was she upset?
She sidled closer and leaned in, hot breath on my ear as she breathed, “And what if I just wanted hot, steamy sex, nothing more?”
Heavens Above! That sultry tone had my cock instantly hard, uncomfortably so, trapped in my pants.
This was definitely a trick question. I shouldn’t say that sex with her would be glorious.
I should reiterate my love… right? Yet, she’d seemed upset when I’d professed how I felt.
Did that mean she wasn’t ready for an emotional relationship, but did want a physical one?
Would I be shooting myself in the foot — or the dick in this case — if I didn’t say yes?
Fuck.
“I’ll give you whatever you want, whatever you ask for,” I breathed. Yes, that felt right. I’d give her anything if it meant she could cleanse the stain in my soul and change this world for the better.
Her brows raised in surprised as a smile spread over her full lips.
Yes! Right answer!
“Really?” she breathed. And before I knew it, she’d straddled my lap, so very close, so very hot. She leaned forward, pressing her chest to mine to whisper in my ear once again.
“And would it matter if a demon’s dick had been inside me? What about another man’s? Would you still want me if I was sleeping with other men? Would you share me?”
Right now — with the way her hips pressed down on my lap, rocking softly — I’d do anything for her. My cock strained. My heart thundered. I had to have her!
But then her words sank in.
Share her?
Was she still sleeping with that demon?
Wait… with other men?
How many others?
All at the same time?
Did I care?
I did.
Fuck.
Izzy was… pure, her spirit untainted by this world and its horrors.
I wanted that Izzy, and I wanted her all to myself.
I needed her to myself, so she could fix what was broken inside me.
Who she’d been with before didn’t matter, as long as she was with me now.
But if she was with other men at the same time…
could she truly give me the love I needed to heal?
I didn’t want to be just another love affair for her.
“I… I don’t know,” I admitted. I couldn’t agree to her terms, but I couldn’t push her away either.
She sighed and was off me in an instant.
“When you figure it out, let me know.” She stood.
“Because there are other men in my life, and they won’t be going away any time soon.
But…” She let that word hang, a beacon of hope.
“I’m open to more… I think…” She sighed heavily, brow furrowing: confused, conflicted.
I wanted to soothe her, hold her, but I hadn’t earned that right yet.
“Does that mean you trust me?” I asked as I rose to stand next to her.
“I trust that you hate Saldrea,” she said, honest. “I’m working on the rest.”
We made our way back to her dorm. At the outer door, she turned to me and whispered, “If you want to be with me… you can’t be with her. Stop working for her and maybe we can talk.”
And there it was.
I’d said I was done with Saldrea, but I hadn’t left her yet.
Could I leave Saldrea? Could I risk it? Could I live with the consequences: what it would mean for me, my family, but most importantly… for Izzy?
I didn’t know yet, and that indecision tore at me long after I’d dropped her off and returned to my rooms.