Chapter 30
Wakefulness clawed its way to the surface, leisurely and slow, probably the most relaxed Gunnar had ever woken up in his entire life. He blinked a few times, eyes crusted with sleep, bright light creeping in through the half-drawn curtains. Fuck, he was exhausted, despite knowing in his bones he’d passed out last night and slept hard and long.
Felt warm too, and when he shifted, he frowned, because the warm had a shape: Audrey curled tight against his side, her cheek on his bare chest.
Right, the night before.
But before the memories crashed over him in force—Mateo, Tomas, the horrible things Audrey had watched him do in her own fucking bedroom—she let out a little snuffling snore, and he couldn’t help a stupid grin.
All he wanted to do was watch her for a minute, fuck the rest.
She hadn’t moved much in the night far as Gunnar could tell, but then again, neither had he. The last thing he remembered was crawling in bed with her to soothe her, and then she curled up just like she was now, trusting and soft and gods damned beautiful. He must have passed out seconds after.
Her full weight rested on him, like she’d pressed as close as she could get without climbing on top of him. She was drowning his shirt, an arm across his chest, loose fist resting by her chin. Paler than normal, dark circles smudged under her close eyes, delicate eyes lashes fanned across her cheeks. Mouth hanging open a pinch, another soft snore.
Gunnar brushed the hair back from her forehead, grazing her skin, which felt normal. A soft noise and Audrey nuzzled closer.
He should get up, he thought, let her sleep. Last thing she needed was him creeping on her after what she went through last night.
Gunnar didn’t move aside from idle fingers playing with her hair, dozing in the warmth and light. Moving might shake her awake, couldn’t have that. She seemed comfortable, smelled content. His eyes drifted shut; he wasn’t sure he’d ever napped in his life, was that what this was?
Audrey twitched; Gunnar had no idea who long it’d been when she jolted upright in the bed, fear lancing her scent.
“Hey, you’re alright,” he said, rubbing her arm. She shivered once, letting out a shuddering breath before rubbing her eyes. Then she flopped right back down on him.
“You’re alive,” she mumbled against his skin.
Gunnar nuzzled against the crown of her head, inhaled as the fear faded from her scent. “Yeah.”
They said nothing else for a few minutes, the only sound their breathing, her eyelashes brushing his skin every time she blinked. He’d never just . . . laid or slept with a woman without sex. He always left after, no reason to linger with the exchange completed. Sure, he’d chatted with Virtue a few times after they’d fucked, but only while they got dressed.
This, though, he had no idea what to do with it, except that he didn’t find himself in any hurry to move, but as much as he didn’t want to break this peace, he needed to know she was alright.
“He didn’t hurt you?”
“No, just . . .” When she moved, he almost growled at the loss of her warmth, and then she showed him her right arm. “He grabbed me pretty hard, then scratched me when I pulled away, but that’s all.”
They weren’t deep at all, barely broken skin, but he still hated the red lines against her fair skin. “I’ll bandage them for you.”
“What about you? He hurt you, I remember from . . .” She blinked a few times, avoiding his gaze. “From the shower.”
“We can take turns patching each other up, how about that?” he offered with a chuckle. She gifted him a shy smile in return, which made his chest ache for some reason. “I’ll get the healing kit.”
“I’ll go with you.” She slipped off the bed before he could protest. Last night she’d been terrified for him to be out of her sight, so he didn’t argue.
“Alright, just let me . . .” He remembered how they’d left the place and grimaced. “Let me check things first.”
“Okay.” Audrey shifted between her feet, clutching at her borrowed shirt.
As soon as he opened the door, relief flooded through him. Smelled crisp and clean, so much so the place didn’t smell like him or Audrey anymore. Aster and Virtue must’ve used magic to clean when they came with Rina the night before. Gunnar cracked Audrey’s door, found the room as pristine as the hall. Same with the main living space, their clothing from the night before folded on the couch, no trace of Mateo or blood anywhere.
He nearly bumped into Audrey when he came back to his room. “We’re good, come on.” He didn’t even think about it, just held out his hand, and she took it.
“Your shoulder looks terrible,” she mumbled.
He didn’t doubt it. He found the healing kit on the kitchen table, fully restocked next to Aster’s fixed-up cornflowers, and brought it over to the couch as Audrey sat down.
“What happened?” she asked, like she wasn’t sure she wanted the answer.
“We’re going to have to go through all the shit from last night with Rina, top to bottom. We could wait, do it once.” When her brow furrowed, he added, “Doesn’t bother me either way, just want this easy for you.” Gunnar hesitated, then reach out to cup her cheek; he didn’t know why, but felt like the right thing.
Audrey leaned into his touch. “Okay,” she agreed, “but I’m patching you up first.”
External wounds treated, all dressed, coffee and tea finished, Gunnar and Audrey headed to the station under the late afternoon sky. The only hiccup came when Audrey asked him to get clothing from her room, but he didn’t hesitate. As soon as they left the cabin, she’d linked her elbow through his and refused to let go, even when they stepped inside the station proper.
Aster was the only one in the tavern, a quiet time between lunch and dinner, and raced over as soon as she saw them, all gentle words and hugs for Audrey followed by concerned glances at Gunnar when Audrey claimed she was fine. Rina’s greeting was much the same.
Gunnar ran through everything, doing his best to keep things brief and the more brutal details for another time. Audrey sat with her hands fisted in her lap, so damn pale, but she put on a brave face. She confirmed when Rina needed it and did her best not to cry when Gunnar explained the manticore quill. He passed it over; Rina would give it to E for safekeeping.
Everyone else was fine. Mateo’s body—what was left of it—was being buried about two days’ trek to the south. Frode was happy to send a few of the Clan boys out on the excursion. Good exercise, he’d said. Tomas was with Virtue for now, kept in one of her rooms under constant supervision. She’d confirmed what Gunnar suspected; Tomas would recover with proper treatment.
The whole damn thing would have made more sense if Mateo was the mad one, but no, turned out he was just an overreaching asshole.
Good fucking riddance.
Rina ordered Gunnar to take a week off from his quotas and rest, which also applied to Audrey. If they needed anything, ask. When they came downstairs, Aster gave them enough food for a damn feast, insisting they take it. The basket included a new cast-iron pan from E.
From there, they had nothing to do but go back home. Zhadan stopped by with Lyubava about an hour after they returned to the cabin. The chuchunas shared a meal and then headed back to their den.
After they left, Gunnar cleaned up while Audrey sat on the couch, knees to her chest as she quietly watched out of the window. He let her be for a few minutes, taking his time despite feeling restless. Her scent wasn’t right, too much clouding up her normal disposition. Combined with whatever magical cleansing Rina, Aster, and Virtue had whipped up, their home didn’t smell like it should and it aggravated the hells out of him.
When Gunnar settled on the couch next to her, Audrey leaned into him. He slung an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close, resting his chin on the top of her head as she sighed, and he waited.
It didn’t take long.
“I’m sorry,” came her quiet whisper.
He figured it might go something like this, so he just said, “Bullshit.”
Audrey pushed away from him, wiped her face, all puffy again. “You were right. They were dangerous, and I made them stay.”
He rolled his eyes at that. “In case you haven’t noticed, no one makes Rina do shit—except talk to a leshy, apparently.” When he smirked, she shook her head.
“Don’t joke around. I’m serious.”
“So am I.”
“You wouldn’t have let them stay here if I hadn’t talked you into it. You would have told Rina to send them off, and she would have listened to you.” Her voice hitched as she stood, arms tight across her chest as she paced the room, her scent absolutely miserable. “You could have died.”
“You know vilebloods are resistant to poisons. I’m fine. Another day, it’ll be like it never happened.” Audrey winced at that, and he shook his head. “I’m not talking about you.”
“You’re the one who got hurt because of me. Because I’m always trying to see good where it isn’t, being such a na?ve, stupid—”
He surged to his feet so he could snarl right in her face. “Knock that shit off. You’re not na?ve or stupid. You’re good, sweetheart. I don’t know how you’re so good in this fucked up world, or why I get to be a part of that. I sure as shit don’t deserve it, but you’re exactly what this world needs, you hear me?”
She blinked up at him, tears flowing freely now. He wiped them away, frowning at her. He hated seeing her like this, so he smirked down at her then, trying a different tactic.
“You didn’t let fucking Kushiel get you down, don’t let that dead asshole do it either. Besides,” he added, giving her a lazy shrug. “You’re never getting rid of me. Fucker didn’t even get close.” Gunnar tugged her in for a hug, and she clung to him, sniffling still, but her scent had warmed a fraction, a bit of light peeking through her uncertainty and fear.
She’d need more time, he knew, but it was a start.
She sighed against him, then patted over his heart. “You saved me first, you know. The only reason I get to be around is because of you.”
“Hmm.”