Chapter 10 – Dahlia #3
His hands go to either side of my face, fingertips pressing against my cheekbones, going into my hair, and his lips come to mine, soft and sweet.
I can taste the salt of my tears as our mouths open against each other.
His kiss is gentle, delicate, and yet there’s something foreign and primal about it, something dark and rough swirling at the edges of his lips, eliciting a strange response from deep inside me.
I feel my body weaken at his touch, melting into him, and I moan softly into his mouth as our tongues meet, the sweet bitter taste of negroni mixing with the salt of my tears, and it’s unlike any kiss I’ve had before.
It’s as if something inside me is opening up, my body reacting to every touch, every movement of his tongue against mine.
And then he gently pulls away, leaving me breathless, like I might just slide down my seat and under the table into a puddle.
I open my eyes and blink at him, discovering my fingers are clenching the edge of the table as if to hold on.
I can’t believe he just kissed me.
He’s sitting back in his chair, running the tip of his tongue over the edge of his lips, his eyes so deep in thought as he stares at me, I feel like I’m on fire.
“Do you know what I tasted in your tears?” he says in such a low, rough voice that the skin on the back of my neck prickles.
My lips open and close weakly before I manage to say, “What?”
“Darkness.”
My body goes stiff and I stare at him.
“I felt the darkness inside of you.” He’s whispering now, his words enveloping me like a cloak.
He can’t know. He can’t ever know about my darkness. Why it’s there. How it accumulates with each life that I’ve taken, each awful thing that I’ve done.
I clear my throat. “You got that from my tears?”
His gaze doesn’t lighten. “I wanted to feel it for myself. To know you. To know why I’ve been so drawn to you. And now I know. The darkness in me calls to the darkness in you.”
I don’t know what to say to that. Anyone else would have told them he was being a fucking weirdo, but I have no doubt he really can taste the darkness inside of me. I’m just glad that’s all he’s able to see. If he were to get into the specifics…
“I’m going to go pay,” he says, suddenly getting to his feet and disappearing into the restaurant. I wonder if now he feels he said too much.
I finish the rest of my drink and then get up, feeling a little lightheaded from the drinks and emotional vomit, folding up the shawl and putting it on the chair.
“Do you want to take that with you?” Valtu asks as he approaches me, nodding at the shawl.
I give him a look. “I’m not stealing a shawl from a restaurant.”
“I could persuade them to give it to you.”
I bet you can. “I’ll be fine.”
“Then I’ll walk you home. Keep you warm.” He smiles. It’s almost bashful, with just a bit of cunning.
“I’d like that,” I tell him, feeling shy all of a sudden.
Then he holds his hand out for me. His hand.
And not only do I feel shy, but my heart is fizzing, as if someone poured champagne in my chest. It’s just his hand, and he’s already kissed me, and yet it feels so much bigger than that.
Like to hold onto him is to step into something I may not be able to get out of.
But I place my hand in his and he grasps it tight, his skin both hot and cold at the same time. His grip is strong and I feel butterflies fly up through my veins, spurred on by his contact, a sense of electricity whirling around us.
He leads me back to the street and we continue our walk, side by side, his hand in mine, and I know this might be a vampire thing that he’s doing to me and that’s why he wanted to hold my hand, or maybe it’s just the alcohol and my nerves, but I feel warm, inside and out.
“You know, what I told you back there,” he says, his voice low and thoughtful as we walk, “that I could feel you, know you through your tears…any other woman would have run the other way. What I told you was not normal. And yet I told you all the same. And you haven’t run. Why is that?”
I swallow hard, aware of the quickening pulse in my throat. “I don’t know. Perhaps it’s the same reason why I suddenly unloaded all of my deepest, saddest emotional damage onto you. Any other man would have called me nuts and left. Indeed they have, and for much less. But not you…”
He stops suddenly, pulling me up to him just as we’re on the crest of a small bridge. With his other hand he puts his palm against my cheek, studying my face like I’m some code he’s trying to solve.
“I swear we have met before. I don’t know where and,” he licks his lips, “I don’t know when. I just know that everything you told me, somehow I already knew. Like I know you without…knowing you. Like one day I’ll wake up and all will be revealed.”
It is strange that he thinks he knows me. Maybe I remind him of a past lover. Sometimes I think I get that same feeling about him. But the last thing I want is for everything to be revealed.
He leans in closer, his eyes searching mine, the faint lights from the city looking like fireflies in the darkness. “I am drawn to you Dahlia, like a bat to a flame.”
“You mean moth to a flame,” I correct him, trying not to smile.
He gives me a wicked grin. “I prefer bats. Moths don’t have teeth. I like things to have a little bite to them.”
Then his smile fades and he suddenly kisses me again.
There are no tears to taste this time, instead it is a deep and searing kiss that I feel in my bones, a kiss that rewrites both the past and future, and the only thing certain is the present.
His lips are soft but firm like the ripest fruit, and there is a kind of soft desperation in him that touches something raw and aching inside me.
I pull back to catch my breath. “You’ll get in trouble—” but the words are torn from my mouth when he grabs the back of my neck and kisses me again, harder this time.
My head spins from the kiss, from the raze of his teeth, from the way he licks my bottom lip.
I can’t help but think about his fangs, how it takes nothing for his canines to transform, that I am making out with a creature that could murder me on the spot.
Then again, that’s not a new fear for most women.
And I don’t feel afraid of Valtu, my professor. I’m only afraid that there might be consequences for this. From the faculty if we’re caught, and also from myself. Because while seducing Dracula was always part of the plan, I was never supposed to enjoy it. I was never supposed to want this.
But I do.
And that scares the life out of me.
Enough that I pull back, and already the smallest bit of distance feels like I’m leaving part of me behind.
“Aren’t you worried someone will see?” I whisper, trying to breathe as he presses his lips against my forehead.
“They won’t.”
He has his ways. No doubt every person who has passed us on this bridge hasn’t really seen us at all. We’re hiding in plain sight.
My body wants to bring him to my apartment.
I’m craving his touch like nothing else.
But I can’t. Not in the state I left it and not with a possible demon still inside.
I can only hope it left through the open window; I assume that’s how it got in.
But my knowledge of demons doesn’t go very far.
I never thought I would have to deal with any of this.
“I have an exam tomorrow,” I suddenly blurt out.
He widens his eyes and nods, taking a step back, though his hand is still firmly holding onto mine. “So you do.” He clears his throat loudly. “I’m guessing you need to study.”
I’d rather study you , I think, but I nod. “Yeah. Thank god I didn’t leave it all to the last minute like I usually do.”
He sucks on his lower lip for a moment and I want nothing more than to kiss him again. “I’m sure you’ll pass,” he says.
“It’s not enough to pass,” I tell him. “I want to get a good grade.”
“I’m sure you’ll get a good grade,” he says in a knowing tone.
“Don’t you dare try to do me any favors,” I warn. “I need to get good grades on my own accord.”
“Help you? Wouldn’t dream of it.” He gives me a convincing smile. “Still, let me finish walking you home. I promise I’ll be out of your hair.”
So we walk hand-in-hand the rest of the way, until we’re standing outside my building.
“I’m going to go upstairs now,” I tell him.
He slides his hand around my lower back, holding me in place, while his other hand cups my jaw. “And I’m going to kiss you again.”
This time the press of his lips is so faint, so light, and yet it makes my knees tremble, my stomach to do summersaults.
“Dahlia,” he says, murmuring against my mouth.
“I don’t want you to be ashamed of your darkness.
I don’t want you to be afraid of it. I am not a delicate man.
I am brash, volatile, controlling and demanding and I always, always get what I want.
What I want is your darkness to play with mine.
I want to make it come so beautifully alive, so that we can revel in it together. ”
He presses his lips to mine firmly then pulls away and I feel like I can’t breathe at all as he stares inches from my eyes. “I am choosing you. And if you accept me, there is no turning back.”
I try to swallow. “And what do I get out of it?” I whisper, my voice shaking slightly.
The corner of his mouth lifts in a smirk while his eyes narrow.
“You get to feel things you’d only dreamed of feeling.
You get to do things you were too afraid of doing.
To live in the very darkness you run from.
Isn’t that you want most of all? To be so pushed past the point of terror that you no longer fear anything at all? ”
Holy shit.
“As I said,” he says gruffly, running his thumb over my lips, “I am not a delicate man. I can be rough. I can cause pain. I may make you hate me sometimes. But I will always be on your side. I will always make you feel chosen.”
I don’t know what the hell I’m agreeing to here but I’m nodding.
Because I have to.
Because I want you.
“Then choose me,” I say softly.
He leans in and kisses me on the cheek. “I already did. First day I laid eyes on you.” He pulls back and then gestures to the building. “Speaking of, we better part ways before I end up interfering in that studying of yours, though I know you’ll pass with flying colors.”
And just like that, Valtu turns into my professor again, charming and cordial and not at all telling me he’s going to push me past the point of terror.
I turn to put my keys in the main doors and pause, glancing at him over my shoulder. “This might sound silly, but do you mind waiting around until I’m in my room. I’m just on the end there by the water.”
“Of course not,” he says. “I would have done it anyway.”
“You wouldn’t have known which room I was in.”
“I would have figured it out.” His smile flashes in the night.
Somehow I’m comforted. I go inside the building, then up the stairs to my apartment. I wait outside the door and take in a deep breath. If there’s still a demon on the other side, I’m going to be very, very upset.
I quickly put in the keys and push the door open, hard enough that it does so with a bang.
The lights are on.
The lights are on and my floor is clean. No candles, no chalk, no crystals.
And the window is shut.
“What the fuck?” I walk inside carefully, looking around.
On the kitchen counter is a note.
I pick it up.
Don’t mind me but I let myself in. I hadn’t heard from you but then I saw you with the target.
I’m not sure what happened but judging by the state of your place, I have an idea.
BTW I did a cleansing in here and put up a protective spell and some wards because I’m pretty sure that there was a demon in here when I first got in.
Charge your phone and call me in the morning. Livia.
What’s funny is that with all that she wrote, the thing that sticks out is that she referred to Valtu as a target. Though I know it’s true, it’s not sitting right with me.
Speaking of Valtu, I quickly put the note away and run to the window, looking outside. I see Valtu standing below and to the side, a shadow in the night. I raise my hand to let him know I’m okay. He raises his, gives me a nod, then stalks off into the darkness of the city.