Chapter 16 – Dahlia
Dahlia
“Did you hear about that woman who was found last night?”
“Yes, such a tragedy. I always say that people drink too much and go out on the boats. The police should be more vigilant!”
“Imagine that, falling over onto the propeller and having it do that to your body. I just didn’t think a prop was strong enough to do that sort of damage.”
“I agree, something very odd about it all. Perhaps keep an eye on your Enzo tonight, huh? There’s a strange feeling in the air. I may have to wear my cornetto.”
I’m standing at the corner of the espresso bar half-way between my apartment and the school, listening to a couple of elderly local women talking.
It’s been a strange couple of days here in the city.
First, a couple of nights ago, a pair of nineteen-year-olds who were visiting with a church group went missing, now last night a woman had been found washed up on the steps into the water in San Marco, her body completely mutilated.
Officials are saying it looked like damage from falling overboard and onto an engine, but no one seems to believe it.
I want to ask Valtu about it but he’s been completely unavailable all week.
We don’t act any different in class with each other, lest we make people suspicious, but even so I feel like he’s giving me the cold shoulder.
Like his eyes are cagey when he talks to me.
And I haven’t seen him after class at all the last few days because suddenly he has some friend over who came in from out of town.
A doctor from England, who I assume is a vampire too.
Everything had been going so well. I told Livia about my progress, which she relayed to Bellamy, so they’ve been off my back lately. I’ve come far in my playing and now that we’ve been rehearsing with the string section a few times, I’m confident for the recital.
And then there’s the fact that I’ve been getting railed by Professor Aminoff nearly every single night.
For obvious reasons I haven’t brought him back to my apartment.
I’m afraid that he’ll be able to sense the blade of mordernes in my closet, and there’s all my other witchy stuff, but he seems more than content to keep our nights at his place.
Besides, his house is a gorgeous gothic dream with everything you could want, including a lush garden out back overlooking a canal, that has oranges, lemons, limes, olives, and rows of dark roses, plus red and orange dahlias (obviously my favorite) which are still blooming despite the fact we are heading into frosty mornings soon.
If I felt myself falling before, now I’m in the freefall where I know it’ll hurt soon.
Every waking minute I’m thinking about him, about the way he looks at me, the things he says, the more profane the better, I’m thinking about how he makes me feel more myself and more present than I ever have in my life, especially when he’s fucking my brains out.
I swear his dick is borderline addicting and the minute we’re alone together I can’t seem to keep my hands off of him.
This feeling I have for him is consuming me.
And I want nothing more than to be consumed by him.
Somewhere in the back of my lust-addled brain I know the only reason I’m with him at all is because I’m supposed to kill him and the others.
But the longer this goes on, the more I realize how impossible that all is.
I know my duties—I will get that book out of Saara and Aleksi’s hands, especially with the dangers that are roaming this city now, and I will kill the siblings as well—but I’m not going to let any harm come to Valtu, even by my own hand.
Last week, when we were laying in bed in the wee hours of the morning, he was asleep and I was running my hand over his chest, right over his steadily beating heart, and I couldn’t in a million years ever picture having the blade in my hands and stabbing it through him.
Maybe that makes me weak or a bad witch, or maybe it’s foolish because I’m falling for him while wearing a disguise, so how far can this relationship between us really go? But it’s the truth.
I am his now and that also makes him mine.
Which is why it’s been painful these last few days not being able to be with him.
I finish my espresso, which was probably a bad idea this late in the afternoon, and I head to school. It’s my music history class with Valtu and the last one of the day for both of us. I’m hoping that if I linger after class, he’ll reach out and invite me over to his house.
But when class is over and I’m slow to get my things together, he doesn’t even look my way. I take a deep breath and approach his desk, wishing I didn’t have this hard knot in my stomach.
“Is your doctor friend gone?” I ask, trailing my finger along the edge of his desk.
“Hmmm?” he says distractedly, gathering up his stuff before looking up at me with a blank expression. “Oh, yes. He left yesterday.”
I stare at him expectantly, my brows up. “So if he’s gone…shouldn’t I be coming over?”
I feel a little foolish when I say it, feel even more so when he doesn’t say anything right away. Instead he gives me the kind of unsure smile that tells me I’m not going to like what he’s about to say.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he says to me and that hard knot in my stomach turns to one of dread.
I have a hard time swallowing, my throat feeling thick. “What do you mean? Your friend is gone right? And we haven’t seen each other in a few days…”
His eyes dart to the door and back and I turn to look but there’s no one there.
“It’s just not a good idea, Dahlia,” he says, lowering his voice. “None of this is.”
I shake my head. “I don’t understand,” I whisper. “You mean…”
“I mean the two of us together,” he snaps at me, his dark eyes looking wild. “It’s too dangerous.”
My heart feels like it stops beating. I don’t understand. “Dangerous? For who? Your job? We’ve been careful, we can be even more careful, I—”
“Stop,” he growls at me, his nostrils flaring.
“Just stop. Look at me. Listen to me because I’m not going to tell you again.
” He leans in close so I can see the red and gold in his brown eyes, their intensity paralyzing me and pinning me in place.
“It’s over between us. We had a good run.
We had some good fucks. But this shit doesn’t last forever.
I’m done with you now, okay? So get that in your head and leave me the fuck alone. ”
Then he strides off through the room and out the door, leaving me behind, feeling like I’ve been shot close-range with a shotgun.
I open my mouth to speak but only a ragged whine comes out and I press my hands to my stomach as if to stop the bleeding. I’ve lost it all in a second.
What the hell has gotten into him? He’s just…he just decided he’s done with me now? Just like that?
No. No, that can’t be. I don’t care if he told me to leave him the fuck alone, that can’t be.
And the book , a voice inside me says. Now you’ll never learn about Saara and Aleksi. Now Bellamy will have to come and finish the job and he might just finish you.
No. No, no, no.
I place my hands over my eyes, whimpering like I might explode at any moment, wishing I could just go back in time and—
“ Stai bene ?” someone asks in Italian.
I lift up my head to see one of my classmates by the door. I’m terrible with names so I don’t remember what his is, but he seems nice enough.
I paste on a smile. “I’m fine.”
I walk toward him and he moves to the side as I go through the door.
“ Stai attento ,” he says, and I stop. Be careful.
“What?” I ask, looking over my shoulder at him.
“Be careful out there,” he says, switching to English. “It’s not safe in the city.”
I nod. I’m sure the guy is just being helpful or protective but the whole thing plucks another chord of unease inside me. “I will.”
I leave the school, the sun having just set and dark clouds cover the sky painting the city in this hazy grey glow.
It’s windy and it has a bite to it and I should probably go home but I can’t bear the idea of being in that apartment right now.
I don’t feel afraid despite what’s been happening in the city, in fact, after the way Valtu just decimated my heart, I don’t really care what happens to me.
But if I go to my apartment I’m just going to cry and I don’t feel like doing that.
So I go to the nearest bar, right across from the school.
I’m hoping to see a familiar face or two, or maybe that guy who just talked to me will pop by.
By my second glass of prosecco, I wish I actually struck up more of a conversation with him.
Hell, I wish I talked more with anyone. I’ve been so wrapped up with Valtu that I’ve forgotten about everyone else in my school.
But who am I kidding? It would have been the same patterns I’ve known all my life. I never would have become anyone’s friend, not when they really got to know me. They’d stay away like the plague. That’s how everyone treats me.
Except for Valtu.
With him I felt he honestly understood me, even if he only saw parts of me. But the parts he saw, he accepted them.
Until he didn’t.
I sigh and order another glass of prosecco, drowning my sorrows in the bubbles, trying to understand where I went wrong and what happened.
Did I say something that scared him? I tend to blabber a lot after I’ve come, but I never said anything nuts like I love him or want to be with him forever or anything like that.
The two of us have been keeping things very physical for the most part.
Or maybe he spooked himself. He may be a vampire, but he’s also a man and men get scared easily when it comes to feelings and whatnot.
Though from the way he talks, how he doesn’t hold back with me, how forthright he is (about everything except being a vampire), I’m not sure if that’s the case.
He seems too secure to worry about that.