Chapter 24 – Valtu
Valtu
Mina.
Lucy.
Dahlia.
She’s in my hand, my fist around her throat, the life leaving her eyes for the third time as long as I’ve been alive.
I instinctively let go and she collapses to the floor of the kitchen in a lifeless heap and I’m screaming, the sound being ripped from the depths of my chest. I’m just useless, frozen, a shell of a person, paralyzed by the sharpest horror I’ve ever felt, a hook around my heart, tugging and sawing until there’s nothing left of me.
But there is something left.
She’s lying at my feet.
Not breathing.
I drop to my knees, the paralysation giving way to panic.
No, no, no.
This can’t be.
But it is.
She’s lying there in front of me, her neck bruised thanks to my grip, the rest of her skin milky pale. That nose, those lips, that hair.
It’s like a dream where you’re trying to remember who someone is in it, their face always changing, and then when you see that person the next day, it all slides into place like puzzle pieces.
Dahlia is Lucy and Mina.
She always was from day one.
But why didn’t she tell me?
Why is she a witch, a vampire slayer on top of it?
Why did she come back into my life only to die again, this time at my hand?
Because I killed her this time.
Just like I killed her the other times.
The children in her womb were a product of me.
This is my fault, too.
“No,” I sob, pulling her toward me. I feel for a pulse on her neck, too panicked to stay in one spot for long. I twist around to look at Solon and Lenore. “Call Doctor Van Helsing!”
But Solon only kneels beside me, feeling for a pulse on her wrist, her neck, then finally puts his head on her chest, his expression grim. He doesn’t even have to do all of that. We’re vampires. We know when someone else is dead.
The silence is deafening.
“No!” I scream, pulling her up and cradling her in my arms. “No, this can’t be happening, this can’t be happening!”
I look to Lenore. “I don’t understand!” I scream until a sob tears through my chest. I close my eyes, the tears pouring down my face.
Dahlia is my one true love.
Mina/Lucy had found me again, found my heart again, just like she said she would and I…I…
“I don’t understand either,” Solon says softly. “Why was she trying to kill you?”
“She wasn’t,” I whimper. “She would never. She loved me.” She was just hidden so well. Even when I was drinking her blood, she always felt hidden from me. I couldn’t get anything from her but feelings, and the feelings were that she truly loved me.
“She said she didn’t know,” Lenore says. “I’m so sorry Valtu, I just saw she was in disguise and she was a slayer. I didn’t know she was…”
I stare at her through my tears, her face blurred. I’m so angry at Lenore right now. So angry. But that will do nothing.
“What did she tell you?”
She looks pained, pressing her fist to her mouth and wincing. “She said she only learned last night that she was reincarnated. She only remembered then.”
I think back to last night. When?
Oh, God.
Van Helsing said she felt sick after he told her what happened to Lucy and Mina. Then she went to the washroom and when she came out…
“I found you Val, I said I would,” she had said, staring at me like I had been lost to her for a very long time. There was so much love and amazement in her eyes, I didn’t know what was happening. Then she started asking me what her hair color was, her eyes and…
“Your hair is red like Mina’s,” I whisper to her, my words ragged. “Your eyes are green like Lucy’s. You are my dove. My lover. My everything.”
I hold her tighter, but she’s none of those things anymore because there’s no life left in her body.
“She knew,” I say quietly. “Last night she knew. God, why didn’t she tell me?”
“Probably because she thought you’d kill her…” Solon says.
A fiery hit of rage stabs me and I roar at him, fangs bared, fuelled by so much anger and hatred for myself.
I did this.
I shake my head and collapse inward, like a dying star, the rage turning to the sharpest sorrow I have ever felt. I cover her with my body, like I did once before, as if I can protect her when I’ve only ever failed.
“I love you,” I cry, shaking with the horror of it all. “I love you, Dahlia.”
Because even though she was Lucy and Mina, she was also her own person and I loved her too. I should have told her. I wish I had known I wouldn’t have the chance.
I’ll never have that chance.
Unless…
I look up at Lenore, who is leaning against Solon and crying too.
“You can save her, can’t you? You did it before. You’re the only one who can turn someone into a vampire without turning them into a monster!”
Hope springs inside me.
She shakes her head. “It doesn’t work like that.”
“She’s dead! You did it to Wolf’s girlfriend, you turned her into a vampire and it worked! She didn’t go insane, I met her. I saw her face-to-face. You can save Dahlia.”
“I can’t!” she protests. “It doesn’t work that way, believe me. She has to be drained of blood, I have to get my blood in her heart.”
“Just do it!” I jump to my feet and grab her, pulling her down to the floor with me.
“Valtu!” Solon yells.
I bring Lenore’s wrist to my mouth and tear the veins open with my teeth.
She screams.
The blood spills everywhere, all over Dahlia’s face, gathering on her lips.
I try to push her wrist to Dahlia’s mouth and hold her there, but Solon is strong and he pulls Lenore off.
“Get a hold of yourself, Valtu. This isn’t the way and you know it.” He lowers his voice. “Is that even what Dahlia would want? You can’t turn someone without their consent. At least, you wouldn’t want to do that to your lover.”
He’s right. I collapse against the fridge and pull Dahlia to me once again, covered in blood.
She is so damn beautiful.
And I am forever broken.
“You’ll see her again, Valtu,” Lenore whispers, holding her wrist. “I’m sure.”
“What if I don’t?” I say. “What if it takes another hundred years again. Two hundred? Or never?”
How will I survive in this pain?
And what will happen to this world in that time?
What if I’m not even around?
“Maybe we should try and take down the guild,” Solon says quietly.
Lenore and I both look at him.
Thinking.
“It won’t bring her back, Valtu,” Solon goes on, and though his eyes are soft, there’s a glint of malice in them. “But it might feel good to find the people that made Dahlia this way.”
“I’m down,” Lenore says adamantly. “Revenge is my favourite hobby at this point.”
Revenge.
I stare down at Dahlia’s peaceful, bloodied face and kiss her for the last time. “I promise I’ll get revenge,” I whisper to her. “I’ll get revenge on those who wronged you.”
And that includes myself.