Chapter 11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
PHOENIX
The relief that floods me the moment I set foot in my apartment almost makes my knees buckle.
“What a fucking day,” I murmur, right before I face-plant onto my bed.
For a minute, I just lay there like a corpse. Anger and rage are two emotions that drain me most. It’s all-encompassing. Devouring. Not a single inch of the body is left untouched by it.
It’s exhausting. Even the conversation afterward with the General drained me. I still can’t believe the Ezkai General himself will mentor me.
I can’t believe I told him about my desire to avenge my family’s death. And how liberating it felt. How good it feels now to feel like I finally have someone in my corner to help me punish King Francis.
The mattress next to me dips. A moment later, a hand lands on my back. Daegel glides it up and down the length of my spine. Even though Ezkai leather separates us, a chill runs down it.
He doesn’t speak. But I can feel it, the question that hangs above us.
With a sigh I push myself to my elbows and turn to look at him.
The moment our gazes lock, he says, “You want to tell me what was that about, princess?”
Even though I know it’s pointless, I still try. “What exactly do you have in mind?”
One of his eyebrows quirks up. “Your reaction to the king. You almost losing control over your emotions and killing him?”
Another sigh. I push myself to sit facing Daegel.
Daegel puts a hand on my knee. “I know you have secrets. I’m not blind.
I let you keep them, because I know how hard it is to allow something you hide in the dark to surface in daylight.
I gave you time, because I thought when you’re ready, you’ll share.
But what happened today was dangerous, Phoenix.
If I wasn’t there, if you had lost control…
if the king was dead because of it, it would start a war. You know how serious that is?”
I lower my eyes. Nod.
“Clearly, keeping whatever you have hidden inside you behind those walls is not working. I love you. I’m yours. I’m here to share that burden so you don’t have to carry it all by yourself.”
My chest is full of warmth. The backs of my eyes hurt. I can’t believe I got so lucky.
“My family died in the fire. I survived, because I wasn’t with them in the house.
When I realized our home was in flames, it was already too late,” I say.
Daegel nods. “I couldn’t stop the flames.
I couldn’t save them. But I did see who started the fire.
It was the Royal Commander, Axel Dukas, with his men. ”
“You think King Francis ordered it?”
“I know he did. Axel Dukas doesn’t do anything without his king’s approval. He is loyal as a dog, always has been. I grew up with him, because he trained under my dad for decades and then served as his second when my dad was Royal Commander.”
An image of King Francis’s gaze softening today during the meeting pops up at the front of my mind. Could it be that he didn’t know? That he wasn’t the one who sent the Royal Guards?
No way. No.
Axel Dukas had no reason to murder my family in cold blood.
He played hide-and-seek with me and my sisters when we were seven.
He’d go with us to the lake in the forest near our house in the summer and throw us into the clear blue water when we were nine.
He taught me how to flip the blade in my hand with my eyes closed when I was thirteen.
My dad gave up his position as Royal Commander way before that.
He didn’t stand in Axel’s way.
“After… escaping,” I choke out, “I didn’t feel safe remaining in Wetra.
I told the truth earlier.” Daegel nods. “But it was not the only reason why I came here, to Ekios. Why I decided to risk my life and join the Order.” Patiently, Daegel waits for me to compose my thoughts and say the next words.
“I may have survived the fire, but part of me died that night with my family. I lost everything I held dear to me. I had no reason to keep living. I was all alone.” I clear my throat, a thick ball lodged inside.
“Once I healed from the burns and got back on my feet, I found the reason to wake up every morning, a reason to get out of bed. I realized I want to make the man who murdered my family suffer. I want to avenge their death.”
I sigh, shaking my head. Daegel gently squeezes my knee.
“That’s why I’m here. I joined the Order seeking power, protection, and a network that would eventually help me find a way to destroy King Francis,” I say and drop my eyes.
“I didn’t care about your laws, history, or honorable servitude for people.
All I want is the power, so I can bring my enemies to their knees. ”
Daegel doesn’t reply immediately. He hooks a finger under my chin and lifts it so I look at him. Not an ounce of disappointment, anger, or disgust is in his gaze.
“You’re the strongest woman I know.” His words are gentle, loving.
A caress of a lover over my soul. “I’m so sorry you lost everything.
It isn’t fair. If it would make a difference, I would get on my knees and beg the spirits of the gods to bring your family back to you from the otherworld.
Just so I could take away the pain you carry with you every day. ”
My chest squeezes.
Tears roll down my face, but my lips are smiling. Daegel cups my cheeks and brushes away the tears with his thumbs.
He brings his lips to mine in a chaste kiss. When he pulls away, just a couple of inches, he whispers over my mouth, “Your enemies are my enemies, too. And I’ll do everything you ask me to, everything in my power to help you end them.”
“I love you,” I say, grinning.
“My feelings for you go beyond love,” he says, voice low. “Every fiber of my being is obsessed with you. You’re part of my fucking soul.”
A breath catches in my throat at the heated look in his dark eyes. He means every word. I feel it deep in my soul.
I crash my mouth into his, and our lips weave together in a messy, passionate kiss.
It’s all madness. And we’re both falling into it headfirst.
Impatiently, I tug on his leathers, desperate to get them off him. He rips my leather jacket off and tosses it aside with raw animalistic power.
A gasp escapes me when he pins me to the bed and settles between my thighs. I welcome the weight of his body on top of me. He showers the line of my jaw with soft kisses, but his hands roam my naked body roughly.
I arch my back when he aligns the tip of his hardness against my opening. When he thrusts inside with force that makes me cry out, I sink my nails into his strong shoulders.
Daegel is rough and gentle with me at the same time. His weight on top of me makes me melt, and I’m eagerly meeting his hips with mine with every harsh thrust.
My nails digging into his skin, I glide them down his back and wrap my legs around him to lock him in place.
“I can’t”—he whispers roughly as he thrusts inside—“get”—another thrust—“enough”—thrust—“of you.”
In response, I moan and pull him even closer to me. A thin layer of sweat covers our skin, and the way our bodies fit together…is as if we were made for each other.
Sweet tension coils inside my core. I’m so close—
Still buried deep inside me, Daegel lifts himself up, sits on his heels, and pulls me onto his lap. This new angle hits just the right spot. My moans grow louder, I can’t keep quiet, and my body starts to tremble.
When Daegel thrusts into me once more, his thumb brushing over my swollen clit, I burst. My whole body tenses as I reach the crescendo of my pleasure and then trembles uncontrollably as I come crashing down.
Two more thrusts, and Daegel joins me. He fills me up with a groan and then falls forward, crushing me with his weight once again.
We lie like this, our bodies tangled, breathing heavily for a while. Daegel nests his head into the nook of my neck and whispers, “I will always want you, princess.”
“I will always want you, too,” I whisper.
Just when I start to drift away, his voice snaps me back to present. “What did the General want with you earlier?”
My eyes are heavy with sleep. I can’t even peel them open. But the corners of my lips twitch upwards as I remember the mentorship offer.
“He offered his mentorship to me,” I say, sleepily. A giggle escapes me. “And he promised to help me become strong enough to collect the blood debt King Francis owes me.”
There’s a long pause. It stretches, and I can’t fight the sleep anymore. I don’t know what his answer to my news is, because the sweet sleep wins the battle and drags me under.