Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
PHOENIX
My heart is heavy the next day as I make my way towards the physical training hall in the Ezkai Academy.
It’s only been a couple of months since I graduated, but it feels like forever has passed. I’m a different person than I was the first day I started the Ezkai Academy.
As I approach the fountain in the middle of the square, the same fountain where my fellow squad members almost drowned me my first week at the academy, my heart aches. I glance at the building on the side where the barracks are.
“Do you mind?”
I shook my head and moved out of Roman’s way so he could take the lower bunk. He flashed me a smile, and I was so baffled by it that I simply stared at him.
Thankfully, he didn’t take my rudeness personally. He offered me his hand. “Roman Barthol.”
I shook it. “Phoenix Wildarrow.”
I can’t believe Roman’s not here anymore.
It’s not fair. He was so brilliant. So quick. Never wanted to spill blood if it wasn’t necessary.
The backs of my eyes burn.
I’m only in my early twenties. Yet, I’ve lost all the important people in my life. And I may be about to lose another one.
I bite the inside of my cheek and head towards the physical training hall where Daegel’s supposed to be training the new group of cadets.
Overwhelming nostalgia tugs at the corners of my heart as I push the heavy door open and Daegel’s naked back emerges in front of me. His shredded muscles ripple under his tattooed skin.
A shiver runs down my back at the sight.
He’s walking the new cadets through the series of exercises. His posture is controlled, voice rough as he barks orders.
Someone in the second line faints. Daegel snaps his fingers and two fae from the third row rush to help their friend and carry the redhead fae out of the training hall.
Oh, I remember the first time Daegel walked our squad through these drills. I thought I was going to throw up the whole time.
Chuckling, I sit on one of the benches and cross one ankle over my knee.
My body awakens further the more I watch Daegel go through a series of training poses. He’s an excellent soldier. Damn hot. I cannot help but want that strong body on top of me, to feel his weight as he sinks his hips between my thighs.
Oh boy…
I don’t want to lose him. I hate that I have to choose.
Last night, after the conversation with Vera, I could barely sleep. Her proposition is so tempting, I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m not sure I can say no.
But if I don’t say no, I’ll be saying no to the fae who has my heart.
My heart flutters when Daegel turns around and spots me. It’s about to fly out of my chest when his sensuous lips curl into a smile, eyes full of adoration.
I’d been wandering through life, without a place to call home, until I found him. I’ve already had home ripped away from me. Am I ready to let go of it again?
You didn’t come to Ekios to fall in love, a dark voice echoes somewhere at the back of my head.
It’s true. I came here for a reason. With a goal. A goal that feels more achievable than ever right now.
Only if I can let the man I love go.
But maybe…maybe I don’t have to. A greedy part of me doesn’t want to believe I can’t have both. Vera doesn’t have to know we’re together. Until I’m the Ezkai General. If I win the trials, she can’t say shit.
Yeah. We hid our relationship while I was at the academy, and we survived. I’m sure we can handle the trials, too. If Daegel agrees to play along.
That’s a big if.
“What a pleasant surprise, princess,” he purrs.
I stand up as he approaches. Before I can answer, his hands are on my hips and he’s pulling me in for a kiss. When our lips meet, I melt in his arms.
“Someone missed me,” I say playfully when he pulls away.
His gaze darts from my eyes to my lips and back up. “Well, you left me alone in bed. I woke up hungry, but you weren’t there.”
A shiver goes through me at his words. I lick my lips. He squeezes my hip tighter.
“Sorry, baby. Had a lot on my mind,” I say.
Instantly, all the humor and desire vanishes. Dread settles in its place.
Daegel notices the shift in my mood. He frowns. “What’s up?”
I glance over his shoulder to the cadets gathering their stuff after the lecture.
“I need to speak to you,” I say. “You have a moment?”
He nods and takes me hand. We walk outside, where we can have a little more privacy.
“Tell me. What’s on your mind, princess?”
My throat is dry. I swallow. Hard.
“Have you thought more about the trials? About what your father said?”
“Yes. I already signed up this morning.”
My stomach sours. I avert my gaze and nod.
I don’t know how to tell him.
I don’t know if I can.
“Phoenix?” Daegel’s voice is full of worry.
I step away from him. When he tries to close the gap between us, I lift a palm and shake my head.
“Phoenix? What’s going on?”
“So, your father told you to jump, and immediately you asked him how high?” My voice is shaking. “You’re ready to follow his orders so blindly?”
His lips part. He blinks at me, completely at a loss. His surprise at my words, the sheer cluelessness in his face, ignites anger inside me.
“I—” Words die in his throat. He shakes his head.
I cut him off. “Tell me, are you doing this because you want to, or because your father asked you?”
“Both,” Daegel says, defensively. “I told you I have high ambitions when I offered to be your mentor. I never hid it from you. I’d climbed the ranks of Ezkai before I met you, and I always aimed to reach the top.
I didn’t know the opportunity would present itself so soon, but it was always my plan. Also, I have a duty to my family.”
Unbelievable.
“By choosing to fulfill your father’s wishes, you’re choosing your family over me,” I say. “And you promised you would distance yourself from them, remember? You told me that you don’t want your ties to Caligos to jeopardize my future in the Order—”
This time, he cuts me off. “That was before the General was assassinated! Now, nobody stands in our way. I don’t see why I need to choose between your or my legacy.”
I’m still as a statue. “What did you just say? Assassinated? The General was assassinated? When I shared my suspicions with you, you told me not to waste my time on conspiracy theories.”
Daegel blinks. Then frowns and shakes his head. “What? No. I don’t know. He died from a heart attack. That’s the official cause of death.”
I step closer to him. “You know something I don’t?”
Daegel shakes his head, eyes pleading. “Princess, please. I don’t. It was a mistake in the heat of an argument, don’t make a big deal out of it.”
I don’t believe him. He’s lying. I can’t prove it, but it’s in my gut. I know he’s lying. That’s why he told me to stop with conspiracy theories before the funeral.
Who could have done such a thing, to the man as powerful, loved, and respected as Kitajo Hiromasa?
Only one answer comes to mind.
Caligos.
Daegel uses the moment to pull me closer. He cups my cheeks and angles my face so we’re inches away. “Phoenix, my love. Don’t do this. Don’t create issues where there are none. We’re good. And once I’m the Ezkai General, we’ll be better than ever. Nobody will keep us apart.”
“Your father doesn’t look fond of me,” I say. “If you’re so quick to jump at his every whim, what will happen when he tells you to break up with me, huh?”
I try to pull away, but he doesn’t let me.
“He will do no such thing. Once I’m the General, I’ll make you my Taaslord. I’ll make him see why you’re perfect for me.”
I shake my head.
“I came here to tell you that Vera D’Argent approached me and asked me to be her champion in the trials,” I say.
Daegel tenses at the mention of her name.
His voice is low. “And what did you say?”
“I didn’t say anything. Yet,” I say and step away from him.
This time he lets me.
He looks at me as if I have betrayed him. “Yet? So you’re considering her offer? Entering the trials?”
“King Francis owes me a blood debt. If I’m an Ezkai General, I can collect it,” I say, voice even.
Daegel shakes his head, running his fingers through his tousled hair. “This is not how this is supposed to go.”
“I know.” My words are so quiet I’m not sure he hears me.
When he doesn’t say anything, I leave him standing in the middle of the training square. His gaze lingers on me until the door closes behind my back.