Chapter 27
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
PHOENIX
I sneak out of Vera’s studio way before the dawn. The streets of Jaakii are dark and empty, even Bussek finally asleep.
Daegel likes to wake at four in the morning. He drinks his tea while reading a passage from one of his war strategy books, and then goes to meditate in his back gardens. After, he practices the essential drills.
I should arrive at his place in time for him to be done with his meditation.
It’s a risk, me sneaking around Vera’s back to go and meet Daegel. Even with me living in her studio, I’m sure she has eyes on me. Even the Taaslord may have eyes on me. That’s why I’m careful as I weave my way through the city.
But me and Daegel, we need to have a serious fucking conversation. It cannot wait.
I watch my back, to see if anyone follows me. A couple of times I notice shadows falling from the roofs. I don’t look up, trying not to show that I notice the spies that trail after me.
It takes me a while, but I finally lose my tail somewhere in the middle of Kozem.
Once I know I’m free, I rush through the city to Daegel’s estate in Yursus. Of course, I avoid going in through the main gates and scale the wall at the back of his estate.
As I sit on top of the stone wall, I pause.
I can’t believe how much has changed in a couple of weeks. Roman’s death during that cursed mission was just the start of an avalanche.
I sigh, roll my shoulders, crack my neck, and jump off the fence into Daegel’s back gardens. My feet are quiet as I navigate my way towards his meditation garden tucked on the side of his estate, right on the edge of a plum orchard.
My steps halt when his naked back emerges in front of me. He sits with his legs crossed under him, only in his loose silk pants. Even in the dim light of the early morning, the strong muscles in his back are visible. The ink that covers his tan skin offers a mesmerizing sight.
I stand there, hidden behind leaves and branches, for a while, just watching him meditate. I can’t see his face, but I don’t have to. I have watched him in this place, meditating, for many mornings. When I close my eyes, the image of his calm face, eyes closed, emerges at the front.
His husky voice startles me. “How long do you plan on standing there?”
I emerge from my cover and enter his meditation garden. Gravel crunches under my feet as I circle him. His eyes are open, looking up at me as I come to stand in front of him.
Pain rips my chest in half, but I bite the inside of my cheek and don’t let it show.
“I can feel your presence, the signature warmth of your body, the way your heart beats just for me. I can smell your delicious scent from a mile away.” His words are a gentle caress.
I swallow, but don’t reply. I don’t trust my voice yet.
“Did you come here to fight or to talk?” He arches an eyebrow. “I’m tired of fighting you, Phoenix.”
“You say it as if I’m the cause of all of our arguments. As if it’s all my fault,” I say, trying hard not to sound accusing. But failing. I pause, sigh. Then add, “I didn’t come here to fight you. I want to talk.”
Graciously, he rises to his feet. “Then, let’s talk, princess. I would offer you some tea, but I know you hate it.”
“I would not say no to a cup of coffee.”
He jerks his chin for me to go inside. I follow him into his house, and we head straight to his lounge where his most loyal maid awaits. He asks her to bring a cup of coffee for me and a fresh pot of jasmine tea for him.
Once she excuses herself, Daegel’s gaze settles on me. It’s hard to keep my eyes on his face and not let them roam his sculpted body. One thing hasn’t changed, no matter how conflicted I feel about him.
The attraction between us is hard to bear. It’s sizzling, all-consuming. My body sings for him with longing. I miss the feel of his skin against mine, the safety of his strong arms wrapping tight around me.
I can see the same longing reflect in his hot-as-coal eyes.
He breaks the silence first. “So…Vera D’Argent is truly your patron. Are you ready to be her puppet, to do her bidding?”
“She’s not like that. And it’s bold coming from you, one willing to do Caligos’s dirty bidding without a second thought,” I say, flatly.
He smirks. “When did you become such a moral compass, princess?”
I lean forward in my seat, bracing my forearms on my thighs.
“You know, one thing I found extremely attractive about you was your ambition. I was so fascinated with your standing with Ezkai at such a young age.” I shake my head.
“It’s not about morality, or what’s right or wrong.
It’s about having a path to follow, and integrity. ”
The maid returns with a tray of drinks. She hands me the coffee and pours Daegel some tea before setting the pot on the coffee table between us and excusing herself.
“You know what hurts the most?” Daegel taps the middle of his naked chest where his heart lies.
“Your assumptions. You assume that because my father asked me to enter the trials, I don’t have the will.
You assume that because Caligos have chosen to back me up, I don’t have a backbone.
You assume that I do all this to aid someone else instead of maybe, just maybe, using whatever resources I have to become the Ezkai General so I can decide what the future of my people looks like.
Have you even stopped to consider that?”
I press my lips into a thin line. Immediately, a thick fog of guilt settles in my chest. Daegel is right. I have not stopped to think about it. From the very first moment, I assumed the worst about him. Never once did I consider if he may be using Caligos to get what he wants.
I meet his gaze. “Tell me, then, what do you want from this, Daegel?”
He takes a sip of his tea.
I shake my head. “Nothing? As an Ezkai General, you wouldn’t have enough power to stop Caligos. Many Ezkai Generals have tried. If they put you on the throne, they’ll own you.”
“When did you become an expert on Caligos?”
The sarcasm in his voice is like a sharp whip. But I don’t let it show. I keep my breathing steady, my temper in check.
“What did Vera D’Argent offer you?” Daegel asks. “What did the General’s whore offer you that I couldn’t?”
There’s pain in his voice. Pain in his eyes as he waits for me to answer.
“She offered me a clear, clean path to claiming what I’m owed,” I say.
Daegel’s out of his seat in a blink of an eye. He falls to his knees in front of me and cups my cheeks in his large palms. The scent of him envelops me like a comforting blanket.
“You have my whole heart. My whole soul,” he says.
I can’t bring myself to look him in the eye.
But he forces me. There’s pleading in his gaze that would send me to my knees if I wasn’t sitting.
“I would move mountains for you. I would level cities to the ground in your name. I would burn Wetra to ash, so King Francis would not have any place to hide. I would rip his heart out with my bare hands and deliver it to you in a golden box. Only if you let me.”
The sight of him blurs. I blink. Tears roll down my cheeks. My chin quivers. I bite the inside of my cheek. I can tell Daegel means everything he says. I have no doubt about it. But while all these promises are grand, and beautiful…it’s not what I need.
I cup his cheek. “King Francis owes me a blood debt, and only I can claim it. I don’t want you claiming vengeance for me. And I don’t want anyone else to suffer in the process. It’s my path to walk.” I bring my forehead to his. “I wish you could understand that.”
“It doesn’t have to be this way.”
I sigh and pull away.
“Phoenix, my love, be my Taaslord. Stand by me, rule with me, and I’ll get the whole world, all three races, to bow at your feet,” he whispers, desperately.
“Did you hire Jax Kregger to force me to drop out of the trials?” My words are a whisper, too. Daegel flinches as if I slapped him. Well, that’s my answer. “Did you hire the assassin that tried to kill me the other night, to scare me out of participation?”
At the second question Daegel frowns. He shakes his head. “No, Phoenix. I would never risk your life. Who was the assassin? Where are they now?”
“Dead,” I say, and clear my throat. I push his hands away from my face, wipe the tears from my face with the back of my hand, and rise to my feet. “I need to go. Vera will notice I’m missing.”
Daegel remains kneeling, his shoulder slumped.
Over my shoulder I say, “Vera only agreed to support me if I cut all my ties to Caligos, to you. I agreed to her condition.”
Just as I’m about to close the glass door leading to the back gardens behind me, Daegel’s words reach me: “I have killed to protect you, to protect our future together. I will not give up now, even if your current words and actions hurt me. I’ll stop at nothing to protect our future together again, Phoenix. I hope you know that.”
Unease curls at the base of my spine as I leave him there, still kneeling.