Chapter 83
CHAPTER EIGHTY-THREE
PHOENIX
My reign starts the moment Noire and the monks escort me from the arena. Flanked by four Ezkai, Noire ushers me into a carriage and we travel back to Jaakii.
The arena is not too far away from the city, so the journey is quick. I’m sticky with blood and sweat, but nobody says a thing. I don’t speak, staring through the small window until we each the Ezkai Castle.
“My stuff is at Vera’s studio,” I say to Noire right before we climb out of the carriage.
My voice is foreign even to my own ears.
“I’ll send people to pack it up and bring it to you at the castle immediately,” Noire says.
I don’t know what else to say so I nod and get out. Noire shows me the way to my chambers on the upper floor of the Ezkai Castle. It’s vast, and I don’t remember the way. I’m still too shaken up after the last trial.
My chambers are huge. I have a large bedroom with a king-size bed in the middle and wide, tall windows overlooking the city. The bathroom is the size of my bedroom at Vera’s studio, with a massive square bath carved into the marble floor. I can fit seven people in it at once, easily.
I even have my personal armory-plus-wardrobe where I can store my dresses and my bows, right next to each other. I won’t lie, that’s my favorite part of my living quarters.
After showing me around, Noire leaves. When the door shuts behind him, I’m enveloped in a ringing silence. I stand in the middle of my bedroom and look at the last rays of the setting sun lingering over the horizon.
This is what I wanted.
This is what I trained for, worked for, fought nails and teeth for.
Now that I have it…why do I feel so empty inside?
The next three days fly by.
I don’t have a moment to think or even be on my own. Every minute of every day from the moment I wake up to the time I go to sleep is full. When I finally get to bed at the end of the day, that’s when the nightmares haunt me.
Even in my dreams, I don’t get a break. Every night, the same dream haunts me. One where I try to not kill Daegel, but the hand that holds the blade doesn’t obey me.
Today is a different day—Vera’s coming. I’m actually excited to see her.
An Ezkai opens the double door for me and I enter the guest lounge. I take a seat at one of the leather sofas in the middle and sigh.
The tattoo in the valley between my breasts hasn’t been burning since the night of the last trial. Lorca’s presence is nowhere in my mind. Somehow, it adds to the emptiness I feel.
I’m so alone I’m tempted to reach out to the trickster god just so I won’t have to be alone with my misery and pain.
Oh, how far the mighty have fallen.
The door opens, and Noire enters. Vera’s right behind him and I jump to my feet. When she sees me, she bows her head and presses a fist over her heart.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I scoff. “You’re really going to treat me this way?”
Vera smirks. “You’re the Ezkai General. That’s how everyone’s supposed to greet you.”
I roll my eyes and approach her. Before she can say anything, I pull her closer to me and give her a tight hug. For a moment I worry she might not return it. But she wraps her arms around me and squeezes tightly.
“I miss your controlling ass,” I murmur.
“And I miss your brooding face around my studio.”
We both laugh and I step away.
“Thank you,” I say to her. Those two simple words carry a lot of weight. “I wouldn’t have been able to do this without you.”
“You’re welcome. I know you wouldn’t,” Vera says and winks. I snort. “I’m so proud of you for winning. And I’m honored that you allowed me to be part of your journey.”
“I’m proud to call you a friend, Vera,” I say with a smile. “While I am the Ezkai General, our journey isn’t over.”
I glance at Noire, who stands farther away from us. I can’t wait to share the news with Vera. I hope she will be as thrilled about this as I am. Noire gives me a little nod.
Vera looks between the two of us. “What?”
“We made a deal when we first met,” I say, turning back to Vera. “I have all the intentions of honoring that deal. I—we—will work night and day to make sure the law is passed.”
Tears swell in Vera’s eyes. “Thank you. You have no idea how much it means to me.”
I take her hands into mine and give her a gentle squeeze.
“That’s not all,” I say. “There is something I want to ask you. And I hope that you’ll say yes.”
Vera blinks in surprise. “What is it?”
I look at Noire. “As you might’ve guessed, Noire will serve as my second and the master of spies.”
Vera chuckles. “You sure know how to charm your way into an Ezkai General’s good graces, don’t you, Taaslord?”
Noire looks as pleased as a cat. “A special talent of mine.”
“I think we all know that I definitely will need his guidance,” I say. “And I’ll also need yours, Vera.”
“Of course, General. Whatever you need, anytime. You know where to find me.”
I shake my head. “I don’t think that’ll be enough, Vera. I need you closer.” Her eyebrows rise to her hairline. “I need you to be part of my new government.”
Vera’s speechless. Her eyes are wide, lips parted as she stares at me. Finally, she shakes her head.
“You can’t—House Dzuni is comprised of the hundred and thirty noble families. I’m not—”
“You won’t be a part of House Dzuni. I know the law,” I say.
“Noire is not part of Dzuni, yet he’s part of my governing body.
I want to bridge the gap between the regular people and us.
Nobles have representatives; Ezkai do, too.
How about the regular folk? I think it’s time.
For that, I need a liaison, someone who’s well versed in the ways of Dzuni while also in touch with the regular people of Ekios. ”
Vera nods. “Okay. I see.”
“That person is you, Vera. I want you to join my government as my spokeswoman for the people.”
Vera blinks, stunned.
It takes her a couple of moments to get her wits back. “Phoenix…That’s huge. It would mean showing my face in an official manner during the meetings, and events. Not as an outsider, the entertainer, but as one of the officials. I—it would mean giving up on my studio and practice. And Savage Kin—”
I nod. “I know. It’s a lot to ask, and it would be a huge change for you and your apprentices.
You’re excellent at what you do, I won’t deny that.
And you have done so much to help people already.
However, I think you could do much more, and help many more if you were to become the spokeswoman.
Don’t you think you’ve had enough of operating from the shadows? ”
“I would need to find my replacement at the studio,” Vera says. “My mentor passed it down to me, and I must do the same if I am to join you.”
“Of course. I understand the transition will take time. Take however long you need. Do you have a mentee?”
“Yes. Bart. He’s not quite there yet, but with time, he will be,” Vera says.
I smile. “So, does that mean you accept my offer?”
Vera hesitates and it’s then I understand how desperately I want her to accept. How much I want—need—her at my side.
Finally, Vera dips her chin low and hope surges through me.
It’s extinguished quickly when Vera says, “It’s an honor to be considered for this position, General.
However, I must ask you for time to consider your offer.
I don’t want to make rash decisions based on emotions.
This is too big of a responsibility, and I want to take it seriously. ”
I scold my features into neutral. I don’t want her to see the disappointment.
“Of course, Vera,” I say. “Take your time. As much as you need. The offer still stands and it’s yours if you want it.”
Vera smiles. “Thank you, General.”
I wave her off. “Please, don’t make this into a habit.”
Vera and Noire chuckle.
“It was a memorable fight, Phoenix,” Vera says a moment later. “How—how are you? I imagine it must not be easy on you.”
My stomach twists.
I don’t want to talk about it.
I clear my throat. “It was a memorable fight, indeed. I’m sure it will stay with many of us for a long time.” Eager to change the topic, I ask, “Did you receive the invitation to my inauguration ceremony later this week? Will you be coming?”
“Yes, thank you for the invitation. I wouldn’t miss it for a thing,” Vera says. “I’ve already picked the outfit for the night. You’d better believe I’ll be the first one there.”
I smile. “I’m counting on that. I’ll need your wicked charm as I navigate the nobles.”
Vera flicks the dust from the sleeve of her tailored purple suit jacket and says, “You sure will, Phoenix. We all know charming the crowd isn’t your forte.”
“I’ll see you during the ceremony,” I say.
Vera points to Noire on her way to the door. “Until then, try to make sure no one poisons our General, will you?”
Noire smiles, but his eyes are haunted. “Don’t worry, Vera dearest. I’m not going to make the same mistake twice.”