Chapter 11 - Anson
11
ANSON
Is this death? Have I crossed the veil and this stifling darkness is my own personal hell? I breathe in and there’s a strange hint of char in the stagnant air along with a familiar floral scent that has my dick hardening with desire. Yes, this must be hell if I’m aroused by just the scent of the woman who ruined my life.
“Zem?r,” Ameera says from the darkness to my right, her tone edged with obvious relief.
I shiver at the throaty, dulcet tone of her voice as she presses her body against mine in the darkness and wraps an arm across my chest. A wave of warm affection swells up inside me and only adds urgency to my arousal. I’m even more certain now this is hell. How else could I hate someone and still love them in equal measure?
She nuzzles her face against my neck, her petal-soft lips brushing my skin and making me shiver again. The urge to pull her into my arms falls over me, and I stiffen as I fight it. I don’t want to want her. I just want to drift through the afterlife in fucking peace, and now I’m being denied even that. What was the point of greeting the sun if I escaped one goddamn nightmare just to replace it with another?
“Anson,” she murmurs and this time there’s no mistaking the hurt and disappointment in her voice.
I turn my head away and ignore the guilt at causing her pain.
“Are you guys awake in there?” Dre’s oddly muffled voice announces from above us. “It’s dark out now. Should I open the trunk?”
Trunk?
“Go ahead,” Ameera calls out, and I cringe at how loud it is so close to my ear.
I recognize the sound of rattling keys, and then there’s a metallic click just before the darkness lifts away above me to reveal the night sky. That’s when I look around and realize where I’m at. I’m in the goddamn trunk of a car with Ameera. I blink up at Dre and then scowl. So much for my plan to put an end to this nightmare.
“Oh thank God,” Dre says as he eyes both of us. “You’re both okay.”
I frown at his choice of words, since I’m anything but okay, and extricate myself from Ameera’s arms and the scratchy blanket covering us, then climb out of the trunk. I step away as Ameera follows, needing some distance from her, then make the mistake of looking at Dre. He’s smiling at me with joy and relief at seeing me alive and well, but all I can do is fixate on the sound of his blood pulsing through his veins and how thirsty I am. I clench my jaw and force myself to step away from Dre before I do something wretched to him I’ll regret.
I glance around and see that we’re back at Ameera’s house, standing behind an old muscle car I don’t recognize. Then I head for the nearby back door, not even waiting on the others. As much as I despise it, I need to do something about my bloodlust, sooner than later. I go inside and walk straight to the fridge, pulling open the door and reaching inside for a bag of blood. I don’t even bother putting it in a glass or warming it up. I just yank the thing open and squeeze the bag so the blood pours into my mouth. Even cold, it tastes amazing, and it makes me disgusted with myself as I guzzle down every last drop. I guess I thought drinking it this way would somehow make it unpleasant enough that I could consider it some sort of penance.
Ameera and Dre enter the kitchen, but I ignore them as I finish my meal, then turn and toss the now empty bag into the sink before leaving the room without a word. I head for the stairs and walk down them, then enter the sitting room just as Samuel enters from an adjoining hall that leads to what I assume is his daytime resting place. He stops and gives me a questioning look, but I ignore him and walk over to the mirrored door to my room. I place a hand on the palm scanner and nothing happens because Ameera erased my palm print from the scanner to imprison me in her fucking room. I clench my hands into fists as I fight the urge to punch the goddamn mirror.
“You alright, mate?” Samuel asks.
I whirl to glare at him. “I’m not your goddamn mate,” I say in a vicious snarl. “We’re not friends. We’re not anything.” I fling a hand toward the mirror. “Just let me back into my fucking prison so I can be left alone.”
Samuel’s face hardens at my harsh words, his nostrils flaring.
“It’s not a prison, zem?r,” Ameera says from the bottom of the stairs. “It’s meant to keep you and others safe.”
“If I’m that much of a danger, then you should’ve just let me die,” I say, my voice bitter as I scowl at her. “It’d be better than this fucking hell I’m living here with you.”
Ameera flinches as if I struck her, and her eyes well with tears. She presses her lips together and lifts her chin as she regains her composure, then turns and goes back upstairs, where I hear the unmistakable sob she lets out once she’s reaches the top of the stairs. She strides across the floor with careful measured steps before a door slams shut from the direction of her study. Guilt and a dark satisfaction war against each other in my mind for being so cruel to her. I want to go to her and hold her as much as I want to let her suffer. So I just stand there staring up at the ceiling and wallow in my vacillating emotions.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Dre asks.
I look over to see the man bristling as he stalks closer to me. I’ve never seen Dre lose his cool like this and I just stare at him in stunned surprise.
He stops mere feet away and points at me, his eyes glittering with anger. “That woman was willing to sacrifice everything to save you. And this is the thanks she gets? You treating her like shit?”
“Sacrifice?” I ask, getting angry now myself. “I’m the one doing all the sacrificing here. I’ve lost my humanity, my magic, even my freedom. Hell, she even stole my way out of this nightmare from me. And for what? So I can spend an eternity as a bloodsucking monster? No thanks. I’d rather be fucking dead.”
Dre eyes me up and down with a sneer. “I can’t believe you’re this fucking dense,” he says as he meets my gaze with an unerring intensity. “I can’t begin to understand what it was like for you to lose your magic. But it had to be far worse for Ameera when the man she loves bled out and died in her arms. What would you have done in her position? Just let her go when you had the means to save her?” He moves even closer and jabs a finger into my chest before I can reply. “You’re still here because she saved your life. Not once, but twice. She ran out into the first light of dawn this morning and threw herself over you, ready to die right along with you. I saw her just before we closed that trunk. Her face was burned so badly I couldn’t even recognize her and I could smell her flesh burning right along with yours. If we’d been any slower getting to you, you’d both be gone now. And what does she get for saving the man who supposedly loves her? Nothing but hateful words and cruelty.” He shakes his head and gives me a withering once-over. “Well, you may not be thankful she saved you both times, but I sure as fuck am, you clueless, ungrateful asshole.”
Then, before I can react to his tirade, he spins and stomps out of the room and up the stairs, leaving me gaping after him. I’m still staring after him when Samuel, who’d I’d forgotten was still here, comes up next to me.
“I was about your age when I was turned,” he says, his voice even. “I was a captain in the Royal Marine Commandos. I served in the Korean War, and umpteen other operations, for the British Navy for twenty years. It was my life’s calling. It was everything to me and I fully expected to die in my uniform, sacrificing my life for my country. But that bloody well changed when some cunt mugged me while I was on leave. I was drunk, and he got the drop on me. He knifed me in the gut and left me to die in that dark alley. If it wasn’t for Ameera coming upon me that night, that would’ve been the end of my life.” He huffs out a breath. “She saved me, but I didn’t see it that way at first. I railed against my new life, against Ameera. All I could think about was the human life I didn’t have anymore, and I hated her for it for quite some time.”
“What changed?” I ask, desperate to know the answer as Dre’s well-deserved guilt trip sits like a jagged hunk of lead in my gut. “How did you get past it? How do I get past it?”
Samuel puts a gentle hand on my shoulder. “Instead of focusing on everything you’ve lost, maybe you should focus on what you’ve gained,” he says, then strides toward the stairs.
“Aren’t you going to lock me in my room?” I ask as he reaches the steps.
He turns back and eyes me for a moment. “I assume you didn’t feed on anyone on your little field trip last night?”
“No.” I came damn close in that alley before I was interrupted, but I resisted the urge to glamour and feed on my sister when I visited her. I guess that’s a win, even if I scared the hell out of her.
“Dre got a bit cheeky with you just now and you didn’t drain him dry either,” Samuel says with a smirk. “I’d say that’s proof enough you’ve got yourself under control now.” Then he turns and walks up the stairs, leaving me alone to stew in my jumbled thoughts and conflicting emotions.