Chapter 10
After dropping Josie at her pretty little brownstone, A.J.
headed back to the office to check in with Cam about a particularly challenging client and then drove home.
When he walked in the door, both kids were at the dining room table coloring while his mother-in-law bustled around the kitchen preparing dinner.
He kissed his children on the forehead, took a moment to admire their work, and then called out, “Hi, Joan.”
The petite woman stuck her head around the corner and gave him a bright smile. Sometimes, that smile didn’t reach her eyes. Today it did.
“Everyone have a good day?” he asked.
A.J. didn’t know what he would have done without Allie’s mom.
She met the kids at the bus every day after school, kept the house stocked with food, cooked their meals during the week, and even took the dog for an afternoon walk.
As much as his parents wanted to help, they were older, and his mom spent most of her time managing his dad’s health issues.
Besides, he knew spending time with her grandkids gave Joan a reason to get up in the morning, just like it did for him.
“It was very nice. These two had a half-day at school, teacher meetings or something, so we went to the park and fed the ducks.”
When she disappeared back into the kitchen, A.J.
dropped his laptop bag in his home office before jogging upstairs to change into sweats and a t-shirt.
Fluffernutter followed along, his tail wagging with such force that his whole, furry body vibrated back and forth.
He gave the dog a vigorous scratch behind the ears.
Fluff proceeded to jump onto the king-sized bed, circle a few times, and then make himself at home.
He’d had every intention of crate-training the dog at night, but for months after Allie’s death, Adam and Ellie had slept in bed with him.
When the puppy arrived, they insisted Fluff not be left out of “bedtime cuddles,” and that was that.
Eventually, the kids moved back to their own rooms, and Fluff decided he’d sleep next to Ellie. When A.J. worried his son would be jealous or hurt, the little boy whispered, “She needs him more than we do, Dad.”
It was the first time A.J. thought maybe they were going to be okay.
As he stripped out of his dress shirt, an image of Josie flashed through his mind, and the instant jolt of arousal shocked him.
He glanced at the bed, picturing Josie sprawled there rather than Fluff.
He wondered what it would be like to caress Josie’s flawless skin, to have her long legs wrapped around him.
He wondered what it would feel like to have a woman touch him again, a woman who wasn’t Allie.
He waited for the guilt to hit him. Instead, he felt only a dull sadness, but the melancholy was quickly replaced by the thrill of anticipation, something he hadn’t felt in a very long time.
Allie had been his first and only love. Even when they’d briefly broken up to date other people after he’d enlisted and she’d gone off to college, he hadn’t had a meaningful relationship with any of the other women he’d been physical with.
A.J. knew if he pursued something with Josie, it wouldn’t just be physical, although he was painfully and obviously attracted to her.
In reviewing his day with her, he suspected she was attracted to him as well.
He recognized the signs—her flushed cheeks when he complimented her, her wide-eyed gaze holding his a little longer than necessary, the electricity between them when they accidentally touched.
He hadn’t imagined that, and it hadn’t been one-sided.
Josie’s long legs, slender form, and silky dark hair were absolutely going to feature in his fantasies tonight.
With soulful brown eyes rimmed with thick lashes, sculpted cheekbones, and golden skin that looked kissed by the sun, she was the polar opposite of Allie physically, and maybe that was a good thing.
There would never be another Allie, but he was beginning to think there was room in his life for someone else.
Josie still tripped his protective instincts.
Her competence and intelligence cloaked a hidden vulnerability, but he could see it clearly, and it made him want to shelter her from whatever heartache she carried.
She intrigued and interested him, and wasn’t that the most unexpected thing that had happened to him in a long time?
When A.J. returned to the dining room, Fluff on his heels, Joan flitted around the downstairs area collecting her belongings. While she loved spending time with his family, she never stayed for dinner, insisting that A.J. and his kids needed the time alone together.
“Pot pie for dinner tonight. It’s setting up on the counter.”
“As always, thank you,” he said, pulling her into an affectionate hug.
She patted his back, stepped away, and scrutinized his face.
“Is something on your mind?”
The woman was damn perceptive, and she could read him well. Not surprising since she’d known him from the time he was an awkward teenager.
A.J. didn’t want to jeopardize his relationship with his mother-in-law.
Would she disapprove of him ever having another relationship?
That was something he probably should know up front.
He debated keeping his thoughts about Josie to himself, but he was nothing if not honest, and part of him needed a sounding board anyway.
Was it too soon to be interested in someone else?
He blew out a long breath and said, “I met someone interesting at work.”
“Someone pretty?” Joan asked with a mischievous smile.
The tightness in his chest loosened.
“Very,” he answered, grinning. He felt like that awkward teenager again.
“You like her?”
“Yes. I mean, I don’t know her all that well,” he said, his voice trailing off.
Joan crossed her arms over her chest and lifted an eyebrow. “Well, what are you going to do about that?”
A.J. barked out a short laugh. “Not sure. It’s been a long time since I’ve asked a girl out.” He cleared his throat and his smile faded. “I don’t know if I’m ready.”
“Oh, honey, none of us will ever really get over losing our Allie, but you’re still here. You’re young, with so much life ahead of you. You don’t have to be alone. If it’s not this girl, it should be someone, someday.”
“You don’t think it’s too soon?” he asked.
“If she makes you smile, then it’s not too soon. What’s her name?”
“Josie,” A.J. said, smiling.
“And there it is,” Joan said, patting his cheek. “Here’s something I’ve learned with time and age. Sometimes sorrow and joy exist simultaneously. That’s life. Embrace the joy, anywhere and anytime you can.”
A lump formed in A.J.’s throat. “Thank you, Joan.”
“Now, go eat that pot pie before it gets cold.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said, giving her a mock salute as she headed out the door.
While A.J. scooped out servings of pot pie, his children tumbled into their chairs and chatted animatedly over one another.
“This one duck kept stealing all the breadcrumbs. The others were starving,” Ellie said with a dramatic huff.
Her brother rolled his eyes. “The other ducks were fine, Ellie.”
Ellie ignored Adam and kept right on talking. “Fluff loves the ducks, Daddy. He does that thing where he sticks his butt up in the air and wags his tail.”
A.J. didn’t have time to respond before Ellie moved on to another topic. “Grammy said we could have a sleepover at her house this weekend. Can we have a sleepover? Please, Daddy. We’re going to start digging in her garden.”
As much as A.J. loved weekend time with his kids, a free night might be a good thing. Maybe he’d take a chance and ask Josie to dinner.
“Sure. I’ll talk to Gram about it tomorrow,” he said.
“Yay!” Ellie shouted, bouncing in her chair.
Once the kids were tucked into bed, stories read, the kitchen cleaned, and a few work emails answered, A.J.
pulled on a sweatshirt, grabbed a beer from the fridge, and sat on the back deck with his phone in hand.
He took a long swallow of beer and stared at the illuminated screen for a full five minutes before dialing Josie’s number.
It was eight-thirty, plenty early, but he still hoped he wasn’t disturbing her, and he really hoped he hadn’t misread things between them. Only one way to find out, he supposed. Before he could talk himself out of it, he mentally shook himself and hit the call button.
She answered on the third ring, not that he was counting.
“Hello? Adam? Is everything all right?” she asked in a soft, surprised voice.
“Hi, Josie. Everything’s fine. Is this too late to call?”
“No. Not at all. I was just reading.”
“I don’t want to disturb you. If you want to get back to it, I won’t be offended.”
“Oh, no. You aren’t disturbing me. It’s not a very good book. Wait, that didn’t sound right,” she stammered.
He laughed, then cleared his throat. “Josie, I want to ask you something, and I need you to believe me when I say, if the answer is no, it’s perfectly all right.”
“Oh, um, okay. What is it?”
She sounded adorably awkward.
“Would you have dinner with me Friday night?”
The silence on the other end of the phone lasted for so long, A.J. was ready to kick himself.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“Yes,” she said at the same time.
They both laughed, and then silence fell again.
Josie spoke first this time. “I’d love to have dinner with you, Adam.”
“Really?”
“Really,” she said in a breathy voice.
“Can I pick you up at seven?” he asked with a stupid grin on his face.
“Yes, I’ll be ready,” she answered.
“Great. I’ll see you then. Goodnight, Josie,” he said and tapped the disconnect button.
Fluff pushed his big body through the doggy door and curled at A.J.’s feet.
“Hey, buddy,” he said, leaning forward to scratch the dog’s furry ears.
Once Ellie fell asleep, Fluff often joined A.J.
on the back deck or on the living room sofa for a few hours before returning to his daughter’s side.
It was like the dog knew these quiet hours were hard for him.
In the silence, his grief crashed over him like a tidal wave.
The intensity of it, right after Allie died, had literally brought him to his knees, but as the seasons changed and he and his family passed the one-year mark, the pain had dulled to a persistent ache.
Now, he’d often find himself discussing regular, day-to-day things with his dog during their nightly visits.
“I’m going out on a date Friday night, Fluff. What do you think about that?”
Fluff rolled over to expose his belly, his way of asking for a tummy rub.
“She’s shy, though, and a little skittish, so I have to tread carefully. You know, take things slowly.”
Fluff sighed in contentment, and his pink tongue lolled out of the side of his mouth.
“She’s always intrigued me, if I’m being honest. Obviously, I didn’t act on those thoughts. I didn’t even really acknowledge them before, but there’s something about her…”
His voice trailed off and he took another swallow of beer. Fluff hefted to a seat and put his head on A.J.’s lap.
“She had a pretty traumatic childhood. I don’t know many details, but I know that kind of thing leaves a mark.
She’s really strong, though, and smart. She’s enthusiastic about building the center, too, and she’s got great ideas.
I like working with her a lot. You don’t think it’s a bad idea to date someone I’m working with, do you?
I mean, she doesn’t work for me, but we’ll be spending time together on a project for a while. ”
The dog sighed and closed his eyes.
“I’m rambling, and I’m probably overthinking this, right? It’s just a dinner date.”
But when he pictured Josie’s soft smile and the way he felt when that smile was for him, deep down, he hoped the dinner date would turn into something more.