Chapter 12
On Monday morning, Josie, in a very un-Josie-like fashion, practically bounced into the TSI office. With a ridiculous smile on her face, and a sense of happy anticipation she hadn’t felt since, well, ever, she keyed her new credentials into the security panel and pushed open the door.
The moment she entered the lobby, she knew something was wrong. The receptionist stopped her at the front desk, ushered her into a comfortable waiting room, and told her that Mr. Mathison would be with her momentarily. The older woman’s tight smile revealed nothing.
Josie’s heart pounded and her stomach churned in an entirely different way than it had when Adam kissed her just a few nights earlier. Was he having second thoughts? Did he regret not keeping their relationship strictly professional? Was he going to fire her from the project?
She couldn’t believe Adam would take an action like that without discussing it with her first. Maybe something entirely different was happening.
Something to do with his real business? Josie helped herself to a cup of coffee from the elaborate machine in the corner, but it soured in her stomach after the first sip.
She paced the room, unable to keep still, until finally the door slid open and Adam entered.
His expression stopped Josie cold.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, voice shaking.
“Come with me, Josie.”
He held out his hand. She took it, comforted somewhat when he gave her a small squeeze.
They passed the receptionist’s desk and made their way to Adam’s office. Two men in military uniforms, high-ranking Naval officers’ uniforms to be exact, were leaving Cam’s office across the hall. Cam glanced at Adam, then at Josie, and gave a small nod.
When Adam closed his door, Josie dropped her laptop bag on the floor and wrapped her arms around herself.
“Sit down,” Adam urged gently.
He dragged another chair close to hers and sat across from her.
“It’s about Charlie,” Adam said.
For the space of a heartbeat, it felt like the world stopped spinning. Josie’s mind went still and a bubble of silence surrounded her. But when she exhaled the breath she’d been holding, everything rushed back in. Blood pounded in her head, and a sharp stab of pain pierced her chest.
“No, no, no,” she pleaded, her voice barely a whisper.
Adam leaned forward and gathered her trembling hands in his.
“He’s been declared missing and presumed dead. I’m so sorry, Josie.”
Josie could only manage to shake her head in denial. The room suddenly felt cold. Her teeth chattered. Dark spots dappled her vision, and the air was too thick.
“Okay, I’ve got you, honey,” Adam said, sliding off his chair to kneel in front of her. He held her face gently in his hands. “Breathe with me.”
Josie focused on Adam’s voice, on taking her next breath, on matching it with his. Her bottom lip quivered and tears flowed down her cheeks as her surroundings slowly came back into focus.
“Please,” she whispered, begging for something she knew she’d lost forever.
“I’m here, Josie,” Adam said, his voice the only thing anchoring her to the present.
Sobs wracked her body, and Adam folded her into his strong arms. He held her until tears soaked his shirt and she felt entirely wrung out. She was still trembling violently when a soft knock sounded, and Cam strode into the room.
Adam stood, grabbed his suit jacket from the coat rack, and wrapped it around Josie’s shoulders.
Cam stuffed his hands into his front pockets, unable to hide the pain etched into his features.
“I’m so sorry, Josie,” he said.
Adam stood behind her and placed his warm hands on her shoulders. She leaned into him. Cam’s eyes darted between her and Adam, the only indication that he noticed the intimate contact.
“Can you tell me anything?” Josie asked.
“The team was in South America, and there was an ambush. I’m sorry, I can’t share any more right now,” Cam said.
Josie expected his answer. Charlie was a tier one operator; his team sent on dangerous, covert missions all over the globe.
She’d sometimes only learned he’d been gone somewhere after he’d already returned, but this time, he wasn’t coming back.
Her brother was dead, his body rotting somewhere in the jungle.
She would never see him again. Raw, visceral pain shot through Josie’s chest as her thoughts spiraled.
“There’s nothing to bury, Cameron. If he’s missing and presumed dead, I can’t bury my brother. I won’t ever know what really happened to him.” Her voice sounded strained and brittle to her ears.
Cam sat in the chair Adam had vacated a few minutes ago, leaned his elbows on his knees, and held Josie’s gaze.
“The Navy has asked TSI to investigate. I promise, we’ll find out what happened down there.
Charlie’s your brother, but he was also under my command for years.
His team was our former team,” Cam continued, gesturing to Adam.
“We will get you answers, Josie, because I know the worst thing in the world is not knowing.”
Cam’s wife, Lissa, had been abducted and horribly abused by a stalker. It had taken days to find her. Cam undoubtedly knew the kind of agony Josie was experiencing right now, and Adam, whose warm touch was the only thing tethering her to her body, understood loss.
“Thank you,” she said, swiping the tears from her cheeks.
Cam gave Adam a meaningful look and then stood. “We’ll keep you in the loop as much as we can.”
“I’ll be working from home today,” Adam said.
“Good,” Cam answered.
When the office door clicked closed behind Cam, Josie sat in stunned silence.
She vaguely noticed Adam gathering paperwork from his desk, packing his laptop bag, and typing a few messages on his phone.
When he finished getting himself ready, he shouldered Josie’s bag along with his own.
After helping her to her feet, he placed a hand on her lower back and guided her from the office.
Josie barely remembered getting into Adam’s car, and then they were driving down a familiar, tree-lined street.
“Oh, you remembered. I have to meet with Holly today,” she said.
“No, honey. I cancelled your meeting.”
“Oh. Okay. That’s good.”
Her thoughts were scrambled, and she felt disconnected from everything around her.
“I’m taking you to my house,” Adam said.
That’s why the drive looked familiar. Holly and Adam were neighbors. But wait. Adam was taking her to his house.
“Why to your house?” Josie asked.
“I don’t want you to be alone,” he answered.
She swallowed hard and tears filled her eyes again. “I don’t want to be alone either.”
Adam’s home was a beautiful, country-style farmhouse, complete with a wrap-around porch and window boxes blooming with spring flowers. Josie observed her surroundings with a detached curiosity, as if she was floating outside herself.
When he ushered her inside, she noticed the warm smell of cookies baking in the oven.
Her eyes wandered over the kitchen. Children’s drawings covered the refrigerator, held in place with colorful magnets.
The worn, wooden kitchen table contained neatly arranged jars of crayons and magic markers, a pile of drawing paper, and a vase full of flowers.
An older woman, with short gray-blond hair and light blue eyes, greeted Adam with a kiss to the cheek.
“You must be Josie,” she said, smiling softly.
Josie nodded in return.
“I’m Joan, Adam’s mother-in-law. I help with the children during the school week. It’s lovely to meet you, and I am terribly sorry it is under these circumstances.”
Too numb and too emotionally wrung out to react to the fact that it was Allie’s mother who stood before her, greeting her with warmth and sympathy, Josie opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out.
“It’s all right, sweetie. Let’s get you settled in.”
Josie glanced at Adam. He brushed a lock of her hair from her cheek and tucked it behind her ear, his touch gentle and his expression soft.
“We’ll help you get through this, Josie. You’re not alone,” he said.
“Thank you,” she managed in a small voice.
The eat-in kitchen opened into a cozy living room, with signs of a young family all over the place, from the overflowing basket of blocks in the corner to the numerous photos hanging on the walls to the pile of children’s books stacked on the coffee table.
Joan situated Josie on the plush couch and covered her in a soft blanket. When a large, furry face appeared through the glass French doors leading to the backyard, Joan let the dog inside. Fluffernutter made a beeline straight to Josie and leaped onto the couch beside her.
“Take it easy, Fluff,” Adam said, patting the dog before sitting on the far side of the couch.
Fluff put his massive head on Josie’s lap and stared at her with big, soulful eyes. She stroked his soft fur. The warmth from the dog’s body soaked into her cold limbs, and a little bit of the ache in her chest eased.
“It’s like he knows just who needs him,” Adam said.
“He’s a good boy,” Josie murmured.
“He is. Can I get you anything? Tea, maybe?” Adam asked.
Josie shook her head. She didn’t think she’d be able to keep anything down.
“Okay. I’m going to do a little work, but I’ll be right there in my home office,” he said, pointing to an open door off the living room.
“I should do some work, too,” she said.
“No, you shouldn’t. Not today. Cry if you want to. Sleep all day if you need to. Grief is exhausting, and you’re still in shock. Rest today, and let us take care of you.”
As if responding to Adam’s words, a bone-deep weariness washed over Josie. She let out a long, involuntary sigh and snuggled more deeply under the blanket. “Okay,” she whispered.
Adam moved to stand, but Josie reached out a hand to stop him. “Adam, thank you. Truly.”
He leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.
***
A warm, furry body pressed against hers. As Josie slowly blinked herself awake, she heard a door slam shut and then hushed children’s voices. The disorientation that accompanied her daytime nap receded, and memories from the day slammed back into her mind.
Charlie. Oh, god.
Josie sucked in a strangled breath, but before despair could dig its claws into her, a rough, wet tongue licked her cheek. She struggled to sit up, but two massive paws pinned her under the blanket. Fluff continued his enthusiastic licking until Adam called him off.
“Fluff, get off her, you big oaf.”
Despite everything, Josie laughed. The dog jumped off the couch and, with his tail wagging, went to greet his family. Josie tossed the blanket off and sat up, wiping the sleep from her eyes and brushing away the hair stuck to the side of her face.
Adam followed his two children into the room. Two sets of eyes, both as blue as their father’s, stared at her curiously.
“Adam, Ellie, this is my friend, Josie,” he said. “Remember on the car ride, I told you something sad happened to her today?”
“And she needed Fluff to take care of her,” Ellie said, nodding vigorously.
Adam placed a hand on his daughter’s blond head. “That’s right.”
Little Adam, who was much bigger than Josie remembered, took a tentative step forward. “Uncle Charlie was your brother,” he said, eyes wide.
Josie swallowed back the lump in her throat. “Yes.”
“He died. Like our mom,” Ellie said. She crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her foot, as if deep in thought.
Adam squeezed his eyes shut and sighed, but Josie found herself enthralled by the little girl.
“Hold on,” Ellie ordered, holding up a small hand. “I know just what you need.”
She dropped her school backpack on the floor with a thud and scampered up the stairs.
“She’s not known for her tact,” Adam said, but Josie smiled.
“She’s got spirit.”
“Sure, that’s what we’ll call it.”
Then Ellie was back, with a worn, spotted, stuffed deer dangling from her small hand.
“Here.” She shoved the deer at Josie. “This is Debbie Deer. She’s very good for cuddling, and she doesn’t care if you cry and get her fur wet. You can borrow her.”
Josie carefully took the stuffed animal and cradled it against her chest. “Thank you very much, Ellie. I think Debbie Deer will help.”
When Ellie smiled, dimples appeared in her cheeks. Josie couldn’t help but smile back. “I promise I’ll take good care of her, and I’ll return her very soon.”
“Okay,” Ellie said, already trotting off to the kitchen. “Gram, I smell cookies!”
Adam and his son looked at each other with identical expressions on their faces.
“She’s a tiny tornado,” Adam said, obvious pride in his voice alongside the exasperation.
Joan’s head appeared around the corner. “Roasted chicken, potatoes, and green beans for dinner. Josie, you’ll join us?”
“Oh, um…” she stammered, glancing at Adam.
“We’d love to have you,” he said.
“Thank you. That would be lovely. May I help?”
“I’d love an extra set of hands,” Joan said.
Josie spent the next hour in the comfort of Adam’s home, surrounded by noise and laughter and a big, friendly dog. She worked companionably beside Joan, slicing potatoes, washing dishes, and peeling apples.
At dinner, Adam’s children sat beside her, each vying for her attention with stories about Fluff, their day at school, their favorite books, foods, and movies. Sorrow and disbelief still hovered in the dark corners of Josie’s mind, but, thanks to this family, she’d survived the day.