Chapter 18
When Adam wandered into the bathroom, she watched him from beneath heavy eyelids, admiring his perfectly sculpted body, still in awe that he’d been inside her mere moments ago.
When he returned with a warm washcloth and proceeded to clean between her legs, her brain stuttered.
She didn’t know whether to be mortified or grateful.
His pointed words had her settling on grateful.
Finished with his task, Adam tossed the damp cloth into a laundry basket and returned to the bed. He eased his body next to hers, pulling the comforter atop both of them, then wrapped an arm around her middle and tugged her next to him. She sighed, curling into his warmth.
With her head buried in his chest, she said, “It’s never been like that for me.”
He stroked her back. “It was pretty incredible for me too,” he said, and a warm feeling of contentment settled over her.
Silence filled the space between them, but Josie could practically feel Adam thinking.
“What is it?” she asked gently.
“Can’t pull anything over on the therapist, can I?” he joked.
She gave a small, light laugh, but answered with sincerity. “You can tell me anything, you know.”
“I feel like I can,” he said, but she sensed his hesitation.
A thought occurred to her. “Have you been with anyone since Allie?” she asked, peering up at him.
He swallowed hard and shook his head.
“Are you okay?”
“More than okay,” he said. A genuine smile appeared on his face, and then his expression morphed into something more subdued.
“You can talk about her,” Josie said, hoping Adam felt the honesty in her words.
“It feels a little weird to talk about her while you’re literally naked in my arms. I don’t want you to think I have any regrets at all, and I promise you were the only thing on my mind.”
“I believe you, and I don’t think you would have done this if you weren’t ready, but it’s still okay for it to have weight. Whatever you’re feeling, you can share it with me, and I won’t judge.”
Adam’s blue eyes seemed to stare into her soul. “You are an amazing woman, Josie Callahan.”
“You make me feel amazing,” she said.
He kissed the top of her head and let his own fall back onto the pillow.
Drawing in a long breath, he said, “Even when Allie was alive, we weren’t intimate for almost a year before she died.
She was so sick and so tired, her sex drive just tanked, and I didn’t want to do anything to cause her more stress. ”
Josie stroked her fingers over Adam’s chest, toying gently with his reddish-brown hair, which, she observed with interest, was a shade darker than the hair on his head.
“You took amazing care of her, and I’m sure she felt loved. It must have been lonely for you, though,” she said.
Adam stared up at the ceiling. “Lonely is a perfect word for how I felt, although I never really thought about it then. Cam said something to me a few weeks ago when I was wondering out loud if it was too soon for me to take things to the next level with you. He said I’d been mourning Allie even before she died, and that I’d spent half our marriage taking care of her. ”
He glanced at Josie, a hint of guilt in his eyes. “I hope you don’t mind me talking to Cam?”
“Of course not. He’s your best friend, and I have to admit, I’m impressed with his insight. He doesn’t strike me as someone who’s all that comfortable talking about emotions or feelings.”
Adam laughed. “No, he is not, but more goes on in his head than you’d think.”
“I believe it, and I think he’s right. You were mourning for Allie, and for your marriage, and for all your hopes and dreams as a family long before she passed.”
“For years, I did feel alone,” he said, as if acknowledging the truth for the first time. “Allie was too sick to truly be present. Shit, I feel guilty saying that.”
Adam squeezed his eyes shut and blew out a shaking breath.
“There’s no reason for guilt. What happened was no one’s fault, and everyone did the best they could under awful circumstances. You were an amazing husband, and from what little I know of Allie, she navigated her illness with grace and love. It was a tragedy all the way around.”
“How did you get to be so wise?” Adam said, turning to her with a sad, half-smile on his face.
“Well, it’s sort of my job.”
“No, you’re good at your job because you’re so insightful and intuitive.”
He paused and touched his forehead to hers. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For listening. For understanding.”
He rolled fully toward her and brushed a strand of hair from her face. “Most of all, thank you for making me feel alive again.”
A slow smile spread across Josie’s face. “You make me feel alive, too. I didn’t know what I was missing until you showed me.”
Adam captured her mouth and kissed her long and deep. “Maybe I can show you again?”
“I’d like that,” Josie whispered.
***
They showered and dressed and made it downstairs about a half-hour before the kids were due to get off the bus.
Now in the kitchen, Adam started the dinner prep and gave Josie chopping instructions for the peppers, onions, and garlic while he handled browning the chicken.
Apparently, he’d also perfected a sourdough bread recipe, and he wanted that in the oven before the kids demanded his attention.
Joan had been given the day off, and Josie wondered how she felt about a woman who wasn’t Allie spending so much time with her son-in-law and grandkids.
“Joan doesn’t want to join us for dinner?” Josie asked, glancing sideways at Adam.
“No, she’s happy to have a little time for herself, and she’s very happy I’m spending so much time with you.”
Josie sighed with relief, and of course, Adam heard her.
“She likes you a lot, and she doesn’t want me to be alone forever, pining away after Allie, in case you were worried,” he said, giving her a knowing grin.
“I was a little worried,” Josie admitted, biting her bottom lip.
They worked in companionable silence until the vegetables were chopped, the chicken browned, and the sauce simmering. Josie’s mouth watered and her stomach growled despite the fact that dinner was still a few hours away.
“Worked up an appetite, did you?” Adam teased, and Josie blushed.
“So it would seem,” she murmured.
“There’s homemade peach pie on the counter. That’s what the kids will want for a snack when they get home. Why don’t we have some now before the house descends into chaos?” Adam suggested.
“I love peach pie,” Josie answered.
Adam cut two pieces and slid them onto plates, then added a dollop of whipped cream topping to each. Josie sat on a barstool at the kitchen counter, with Adam across from her, and dug into her pie.
“This is so good,” she said around a mouthful.
“Joan’s love language is food,” Adam said, grinning as Josie proceeded to devour the entire piece.
“I forgot to ask, how did things go today with Holly?”
“I guess we got a little distracted,” Josie said, giving him a shy smile. She cleared her throat and continued. “Holly’s ready to sell to us.”
“That’s fantastic news,” Adam said.
“It feels right,” Josie agreed.
“I’ll set up a meeting with the board, and we can work on an official proposal,” Adam said.
“Great. The spot is perfect, and I think Holly would like to be involved in some way. When I told her a lot of people would be volunteering their time, she asked if there was anything she could do to help.”
“She must really feel a connection to the project.”
“I get the sense she’s carrying some kind of trauma of her own. I hope she’ll open up to me, but even if she doesn’t, volunteering at the center might still be a good thing for her,” Josie said.
“I agree,” Adam said as he finished the last bite of his pie, then collected his and Josie’s plates. “Sounds like you had a productive morning.”
Josie nodded, but thinking about the morning triggered the memory of the man she’d seen lingering outside her home earlier.
“Adam?”
Her tone caught his attention. He turned away from the sink with a dishtowel in his hand. “What’s wrong?”
“Remember I told you I saw a man at the cemetery, and I thought he looked a little like Charlie?”
“I remember,” Adam answered.
“I saw him again today. When I left my house, he was right across the street. He had sunglasses and a hat on again, but I felt like he was watching me.”
“Shit, Josie,” Adam said.
“I might be mistaken,” she said, suddenly doubting herself.
“You are one of the most rational-minded people I know. If you saw someone there, he was there,” Adam said, concern creasing his brow. “Let’s think this through. Could it be a former patient who’s looking for your attention?”
Josie considered that, but shook her head.
“I don’t think so. The only reason he seemed familiar at all is because he looked a little like Charlie.
I can’t even say exactly why since I didn’t get a good look at his face with the glasses and hat, but there was something about the way he carried himself.
I don’t know. The more I talk about it, the crazier I feel,” she said, wrapping her arms around herself.
“You are not crazy,” Adam said.
He sat at the barstool next to hers and took her hands in his. She studied those hands, so much bigger than hers, and immediately felt comforted. Adam did that for her. He made her feel safe and precious, without diminishing her.
“If you’d only seen him once, we could explain it away, especially under the circumstances, but seeing him twice…” Adam shook his head. “I don’t believe in coincidences. In my experience, there is no such thing. Can you think of anyone in your life who might have become obsessed with you?”
Josie stiffened, but she knew why he was asking. Lissa Taylor’s stalker had been a former intern whom Liss had mentored. When he’d escalated, it’d happened quickly and violently.
“Off the top of my head, no, but I’ll think about it,” she said with sincerity.
“Meanwhile, I’d like to take a look at your security system and add you to my phone tracking app.”
“Okay,” she answered. She wasn’t going to argue with him. After all, keeping people safe was a big part of his job, and honestly, now that she’d told him about Charlie’s doppelg?nger, she felt relieved.
“I’d like to pick you up in the morning and take you home afterward, and I’d like you to consider working most days at the office instead of at home.
Maybe you can also let me know when you leave the house?
” He said the last with a slight cringe.
“I’m not trying to overreact, but we can always dial things back if he turns out to be an Uber Eats delivery guy. ”
His attempt at humor had the desired effect, and Josie laughed. “I don’t mind. It feels nice to have someone looking out for me, to be honest.” Her smile faded, and she stared down at the kitchen counter. “Charlie was the only one who ever did.”
Adam stood and gathered her into his arms, kissing the top of her head. “I got you, Josie.”
The slamming front door and the pounding of feet interrupted their quiet moment. Fluff, who’d been snoozing in his dog bed, leaped up and skidded across the floor, eager to greet his small humans.
“Dad! Tommy put a frog on Susie’s chair after recess and she screamed and tipped over her desk and she knew it was Tommy so she squeezed her whole yogurt on top of his head!
” Ellie shouted. She dropped her backpack on the floor, put her hands on her hips, and shook her head indignantly.
“They both had to go to the Principal’s office and I don’t think that’s fair. ”
“Hello to you too, Ells Bells,” Adam said, pinching the bridge of his nose.
Josie could barely contain her laugh. “Hi, Ellie. Sounds like you had quite the interesting day.”
Ellie turned to Josie, as if just noticing her presence. Her face lit up with a wide smile that warmed Josie’s heart. “Hi, Josie! I’m starving. Want to have a snack with me?”
“Well, I just sampled your grandma’s peach pie, and I think it’s delicious, so how about I cut you a piece and you can tell me all about this troublemaker Tommy,” Josie said, squatting down so she was eye level with Ellie.
“Pie! Yes!” Ellie said, pumping a small fist in the air and bouncing on her toes.
“Hi, Adam. How was your day?” Josie asked as she stood and turned toward the young boy who looked so much like his father.
Adam looked down at his sneakers, and Josie swore his cheeks turned pink. “Good, thanks.”
“Would you like a piece of pie too?” she asked.
“Yes, please,” he answered.
When Josie glanced over at Adam, her Adam, as she now thought of him in her mind, he watched her, hands in his pockets.
“Go put your stuff away, guys. When you come down, pie will be ready,” he said.
When the kids thundered up the stairs, Adam wound his arms around Josie. “You’re great with them,” he said.
Josie’s cheeks warmed at the compliment. “It’s easy to be. They’re great kids.”
Adam moved Josie’s hair out of the way and nuzzled her neck. When her pulse kicked up, and she felt her lady parts stirring yet again. She wiggled in his arms, trying to maneuver away.
“I promised them pie,” she said, in a voice so high-pitched and breathy, she barely recognized it as hers.
“Then let’s get them some pie.”
Adam’s voice, on the other hand, was low and rumbling, and it totally turned her on. Was that a thing? Getting turned on by a man’s voice? Apparently, it was a thing.
“I’ll get the plates,” he said, releasing her.
Josie felt the loss of his touch immediately. She craved it like a drug, and she knew when she was alone in her bed later, she wouldn’t be able to think about anything else.