Chapter 21
Adam’s backyard was every child’s dream with a swing set and climbing apparatus, badminton net, fire pit, and one very fancy treehouse. Josie sat in one of the chairs by the fire pit and watched Adam play catch with his son.
He was patient and warm, and he seemed to truly enjoy the time he spent with both of his kids, and those kids seemed happy and well-adjusted despite losing their mom at such a tender age. Josie gave a good bit of credit for that to Adam. He’d grieved hard, but he’d never checked out on his kids.
Josie wondered what her childhood would have been like if she’d had a father like Adam, or like Jake or Teagan, or even like Cam, who doted on his wife and son even if he was a man of few words otherwise.
Her thoughts drifted to Charlie, who’d straddled the line between big brother and father to Josie as she grew up.
He’d been her protector, her confidant, and then her friend as an adult.
Any semblance of trust or belief Josie had in men came from Charlie.
As she blinked back her stinging tears, she wondered when she’d be able to think about her brother without the sharp stab of pain in her heart.
The sound of Fluff’s bark once again filled the air, and Josie quickly wiped her eyes as the dog, followed by Ellie hot on his heels, sped by.
The rope toy dangled from his mouth as he made a beeline for the back porch.
Before Ellie could catch him, the dog shimmied his way underneath the raised decking.
Josie’s mouth went dry, and blood pounded in her ears.
“Dad! Fluff is in his hiding spot again!” Ellie shouted.
Ellie flopped down onto her belly and squirmed her way under, following after the dog.
Josie stood and blinked. The memory of another porch, a different one, at a different time, raced through her mind.
The blue of the afternoon sky turned inky black, the scent of dirt and rotted leaves filled her nostrils, and the panicked feeling of being trapped squeezed all the air from her chest.
“Stay quiet, Josie. He won’t find us under here.”
When Fluff barked, Josie’s whole body jerked at the sound.
“What was that, Charlie?”
“Shhhh. It’ll be okay.”
Sweat beaded on Josie’s forehead as she tried to pull enough air into her lungs.
Blue. The sky was blue. It was daytime, not night. The air smelled like summer, freshly cut grass, and blooming flowers. She was in Adam’s backyard, not trapped under the porch with Charlie’s shaking body holding hers in place.
Across the way, Adam and Ellie coaxed a reluctant Fluff from his hiding place. When the dog emerged, dirt and leaves covered his golden fur. He shook vigorously and sprayed debris on Adam and the kids. Their laughter sounded distant, muffled.
Josie sank back onto the wooden lawn chair, shivering as her sweat cooled in the afternoon breeze.
She knew the moment Adam glanced her way and realized something was wrong.
He put a hand on his son’s head and spoke to him.
The boy nodded and trotted up the back stairs, Ellie and Fluff on his heels.
Adam strode across the lawn and knelt in front of Josie. Josie could only stare at him. She swallowed, once, twice, but couldn’t make her voice work.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Discovering you have another brother might feel like that,” he said, his eyes searching her face. “But I think this is something different, yeah?”
She gave a small nod.
“You’re shaking. I’m going to sit next to you and hold you. Is that okay?”
She nodded again, this time with more vigor.
When Adam pulled her into his warmth, Josie softened against him. Her body felt limp and depleted, as if she’d just sprinted a mile. Adrenaline crash. She knew what was happening even if she couldn’t do anything about it.
When her trembling subsided and she sighed heavily, Adam said, “Let’s go inside and have some dinner, get your blood sugar up. If you want to talk later, I’m right here.”
He helped her to her feet and, with one arm wrapped securely around her waist, guided her into the house. The kids had set the table with a mismatch of dishes and cups and had the pizza boxes open on the counter.
“I’m ready to eat!” Ellie shouted, flitting around the table like a butterfly.
“She has only one volume and speed setting,” Adam mumbled.
Josie couldn’t help her smile, and once again, she allowed Adam’s family to surround her like a warm blanket on a frigid day and provide her comfort. Dinner passed quickly, with the kids discussing the movie. When they finished, Adam filled Josie’s wine glass and ushered her into the living room.
“Stay the night,” he said softly. “I don’t want you to be alone.”
“What about the kids?”
“I’ll tell them you’ve had a sad day and you’re having a sleepover. It doesn’t have to be any more complicated than that.”
“Are you sure?” she asked.
Truthfully, she didn’t want to be alone either, and the thought of spending the night with Adam had her pulse racing.
“Josie, you’re already a part of their lives, and they adore you. They’ll be thrilled.”
“Okay,” she said.
The tension left her body as relief washed through her. Adam leaned in and brushed a kiss on her forehead.
“I’m going to help them clean the kitchen, and then it’s game time.”
Laughter filled the house. Josie happily played several rounds of Candyland and eagerly participated in story time. When Ellie requested that Josie tuck her in for the night, warmth spread through Josie’s chest.
As soon as the kids were confirmed to be asleep and Fluff had been walked a final time, Adam took Josie’s hand and led her up the stairs to his bedroom.
She knew he wanted her to talk to him about the “episode” from earlier, as she now referred to it in her mind, but she really, really hoped they could have some intimate time first.
Her cheeks flushed when she imagined Adam kissing her, and not in a gentle way. She wanted his mouth on hers, his hands on her body. She needed a respite from her brain for just a little while longer, and Adam could give it to her.
A slow, sexy smile spread over Adam’s face, as if he could read the thoughts right out of her head.
He prowled toward her, unbuttoning his shirt as he approached.
When he stood so close she could smell his intoxicating masculine scent, he gripped her by the back of the neck and pulled her in.
Before she could blink, his lips were on hers, and much to Josie’s satisfaction, not in a gentle way.
She felt boneless against Adam’s hard body, and if he wasn’t holding her, her knees might have given out.
Every thought fled her overactive mind when his hand worked its way under her t-shirt and effortlessly unclipped her bra.
She gasped when the same hand slid around her front and palmed the breast he’d freed from its constraints.
Josie moaned into Adam’s mouth, and he pinched her nipple in response.
When he backed her toward the bed, her knees hit the edge of the mattress and she tumbled back.
Frantically, Adam undid his jeans and shoved them down to his ankles, taking his boxer briefs with him.
Josie wriggled out of her yoga pants, her eyes pinned on Adam’s hard, pulsing cock.
“Condom,” he said, reaching into the nightstand drawer.
He handed it to Josie, and she automatically reached for it, eyes widening with surprise. As Adam shrugged out of his shirt, his eyes darted between the condom and Josie’s face, his silent command obvious. With shaking hands, Josie tore open the package.
She’d never done this before, put a condom on a man, and she suspected he knew it. This more dominant version of Adam, the one who seemed to enjoy pushing her out of her comfort zone, was, well, hot.
Josie bit her bottom lip and focused on the task at hand. She removed the condom from the wrapper and gently placed it over Adam’s already leaking tip. He sucked in a sharp breath at the contact and Josie’s hand stilled.
“Keep going,” he said, his voice strained.
She licked her lips nervously and rolled the latex over him.
“I love it when you touch me, Josie.”
It was exactly what she needed to hear. In that moment, Josie didn’t feel awkward. She felt sexy, and, although she happily let Adam take charge, she recognized some feminine magic inside herself that she hadn’t known existed before right now.
“I need you, hard and fast, but I promise this is just an appetizer,” Adam said.
Josie blinked and nodded.
Adam stepped out of his pants, kicking them off to the side, and stood between Josie’s open thighs. He ran his hands up her legs from her knees to the juncture of her hips, his touch soft and light and completely at odds with the fierce need etched into his face.
He gripped her hips and pulled her forward until her feet hit the floor, then in one fluid movement, he flipped her over.
“Bend over the bed,” he ordered, one hand pressed insistently between her shoulders.
As her body draped over the mattress, a riot of emotions coursed through her. She felt exposed and needy, at his mercy and yet powerful. When Adam’s fingers dipped between her legs to find her hot, wet center, sensation took over and drove out all thought.
He circled the tight nub of her clit with a finger, and she cried out, grinding herself against his hand.
“You’re ready for me, aren’t you, Josie?”
“Yes. Yes, please. Please.”
She turned her face into the comforter before she could beg him in earnest. Heat gathered between her legs, and her core throbbed. Release taunted her, just out of reach. When Adam pulled his hand away, Josie groaned in protest, but just as her need grew to an intolerable level, he pushed into her.
“Fuck,” he hissed. “You’re so hot and wet and tight. You’re made for me.”
Josie felt her face heat and her clit throb. No one but Adam had ever talked dirty to her, not before, during, or after sex. Apparently, she’d been missing out. Again, he’d pushed her out of her comfort zone, but in a way that made her feel desired and special and more than a little naughty.
Adam moved inside her hard and fast, just as promised, and his urgent need drove her own.
From this angle, he penetrated her so deeply it bordered on painful, but when his hand once again found her taut bundle of nerves, she exploded with an orgasm so powerful she had to bite the blanket to muffle her scream.
“Fucking beautiful,” Adam growled.
When the last wave of pleasure had passed, Adam gripped her by the hips and moved inside her, chasing down his release. Somehow, though, Josie knew he was holding himself back.
With an effort, she managed to lift herself onto her forearms and turn her head to look at him. His eyes were glazed over and droplets of sweat ran down his temples.
“Adam?” she called, her voice hoarse and scratchy.
He snapped to attention. His expression cleared and then his eyebrows knitted with concern.
“Are you okay?” he breathed.
She nodded, took a breath, and said, “I won’t break.”
He stilled as if processing her words.
“You don’t need to hold back. I don’t want you to hold back.”
Understanding, and something like relief, crossed Adam’s face.
Josie watched his expression with fascination and recognized the second he decided to let go.
His hands gripped her hips with a strength she knew was there but hadn’t felt in quite this way before.
She’d have bruises in the morning, and it thrilled her in some strange, dark way to realize she wanted them.
She desperately wanted Adam to mark her.
When he pounded into her, she gripped the comforter with both hands and surrendered fully to the moment. Adam wasn’t making love to her, he was taking her, fucking her, ravaging her, and oh god, it felt so good.
“Josie, fuck,” he growled, and with a final thrust, he came hard.
As his cock pulsed inside her, and his sweat dripped onto her back, the sound of their breathing filled the otherwise silent room.
Josie’s legs shook. Once Adam seemed to recover enough of himself to move again, he slipped out of her, dragged her onto the bed, and fell heavily onto the mattress beside her.
Rolling her into his arms, he buried his face in her hair.
When Josie felt him trembling against her, she laced her fingers in his and squeezed.
There was weight to this moment. Josie knew it. When Adam spoke, his voice was ragged, haunted.
“I’ve had to hold back for a long time.”
He squeezed his eyes shut, and a pained expression crossed his face.
For as emotionally healthy as this man was, he’d been dealt a hard blow.
He’d loved his wife, willingly become her caretaker, and then lost her.
His needs had been ignored for a long time, but even acknowledging that fact, for a man like Adam, would cause inner conflict.
Josie chose her words carefully. “You were an incredible husband, and it was hard. Both those things can be true.”
Adam blew out a long breath and turned his head to look at Josie. “I know you’re right.”
“But sometimes the feelings are uncomfortable,” she said, finishing for him.
“Yeah,” he admitted.
He settled his head back on the pillow and tugged her closer, then planted a kiss on the top of her head.
“I needed that. Thank you,” he said.
Josie shook her head and let out a small laugh. “No thanks necessary. It was great for me too.”
“Are you sure?”
The hesitancy in his voice was something new.
“I’m positive,” she said with enthusiasm.
She felt his chest vibrate with laughter. “Okay then. My girl likes it a little rough. Duly noted.”
Josie’s cheeks heated, but there was no denying she’d loved it rough. Who knew?
She snuggled into Adam’s arms for a few minutes more, and when he rolled out of bed to handle the condom, she followed him into the bathroom.
“Spare toothbrush is in that drawer, and you’re welcome to one of my t-shirts to sleep in,” Adam said.
The comfortable domesticity of going through her bedtime routine, brushing out her hair and sharing the sink with this man, felt so natural, Josie let out a contented sigh. When they climbed back into bed together, Adam grabbed her by the hips and slid her against him, spooning her from behind.
“Do you want to talk about what happened outside earlier?” he asked, his voice soft in her ear.
Josie swallowed. She needed to tell him. She didn’t want to hide things from him, especially the dark things, and this particular memory was one of her darkest. Obviously, it still held power over her.
“Charlie and I used to hide under the porch,” she said.