Chapter 27 #2
Jerica stayed planted at the front of her truck, though her fist clenched like she wanted nothing more than to punch me. I would have let her. “They asked me to kill you. What could you possibly have done to earn that?”
“They—?” My hand found the car window for support. If it had been anyone else but Jerica, I would have assumed this was a joke. “They asked you to kill me? That’s… Hunters have never killed Hunters. That’s insane.”
“You went against everything the Hunters stand for. I was shocked, but…”
“I protected my friend.” Was that worth dying over? It wasn’t worth killing a sister.
“You protected a vampire,” she shouted. Her eyes were moist from the disappointment that only family could give. “What’s happened to you? I know you’re not this crazy. I told Imogen there was no way you could be lovesick over a vampire.”
“Did you tell them you’d kill me?” I rested my hip against the hot metal car frame, then found it too easy to slump over the rest of it, despite the burn.
“Fallon, this isn’t a joke.” Jerica smoothed the hair tightened by her ponytail.
Of course this wasn’t a joke. It was a stabbing pain from the depth of my guts to the back of my throat to know that I’d failed another person I loved.
The more I tried, the more I disappointed, and life was beating the lesson into me on why Hunters were meant to be alone.
“I know.”
“Was the vampire your lover?”
This was humiliating. I looked anywhere but at Jerica, and the ranch’s flat, featureless entrance offered nowhere to rest my eyes. I settled on the rounded purple hump of the mountain range to the north.
“I loved him.” I swallowed hard around the past tense I was already using.
I blinked rhythmically to beat back the tears that tickled my eyelids.
Luckily, Jerica took her time swallowing that information.
Fallon loves a vampire. I could hear it sing-songy in my head, like we were still kids who laughed in our dark bedroom at night after long days of learning how to kill.
“I told them,” Jerica said, but it was a false start, and she took another few moments to find her footing. “I won’t kill my own sister. I can’t.”
“Bet they loved hearing that.” I plunged into self-flagellating despair.
What a colossal fuck-up I was. It wasn’t bad enough that I’d caused a generation of shame and embarrassment to carry on my own shoulders.
The people I loved had been forced to carry it on my behalf, as well.
Diana had driven all the way to the Land to vouch for me, and Josephine must have fought for me, too — and Cora.
They’d believed in me. And now Jerica was being dragged into this, and she couldn’t kill me for what I’d done, for stealing Blessings and protecting the sworn enemy, for loving a stupid vampire who probably wasn’t worth all this, and now the mothers were disappointed in my much braver, stronger sister, and I was to blame for that, too.
Jerica sniffed. I was fast, and I pulled her into an embrace before she could comprehend it. She muttered something about my new speed into my shoulder, but I shushed her and held her and let her cry. A few of my own tears slipped out.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“For not killing you?”
We barely laughed.
“For…bearing this for me. Thank you.”
She twisted as she pulled away to hide her tears, and I turned as well. I was likely one of the few souls who had ever seen her cry.
“Were you hunting?” Her casual tone was hardly convincing, but I let her off.
“Yeah. Hunted two vamps tonight. I only have half my gifts, but it’s…” Fun. Addictive. I was obsessed now with the way my body could move, and I’d been pushing myself to test my limits.
“It’s a lot easier, right?” Jerica asked. “I wish you…”
“I know. Me too.” This was nice, to have my sister here, to be able to dunk my hand in and not be able to feel the bottom of her love. But… “If you’re not going to be the one to kill me, any idea who will?”
“It was Sarah Jane who spoke to me about it. I don’t see any of the mothers leaving their roost to do it.”
I tried not to gloat at Jerica for speaking critically about the Hunters at the top. It was probably just another piece of evidence of my corrupting power.
“Guess I’ll be on guard for that.” The number of active Hunters had grown thin.
Jerica and Diana, I wouldn’t have to fear.
It left only Camila, still hunting in Southern New Mexico.
Maybe one of the mothers would come after me.
It only seemed right that if the Hunters wanted me dead, it should be Josephine who did it.
What a mess of a family I had.
“I can go back to the Land with you, and you can return your powers in exchange for your life. The exile won’t go away, but it would be better for everyone if you just…” Did the right thing.
“I know.” I left the rest unsaid. I wouldn’t do it. I couldn’t give up these powers. I was doing everything wrong, and at least Jerica had the comfort of knowing I was aware of it, just in case my life ended at the hands of my own family.
Jerica had to go home. She had the most vampire-ridden city in New Mexico to contend with, and she needed her rest and her strength. It was an uncomfortable goodbye. We couldn’t escape the finality of it. We might never see each other again before it was over. But that was how it was for Hunters.
“They taught us not to fear our own deaths,” Jerica said, her eyes far off like she was remembering something, “but they didn’t teach us how to deal with the deaths of others.”
“Not sure that can be taught.” If it could be, I didn’t expect to learn the skill in my lifetime. “Go home, Jerica. Be safe. And thank you.”
I watched the back of her truck until it was too far away to see. As much as I’d have liked to stand against my car and enjoy the still morning on the ranch, I had sweat and vampire dust to wash away, and likely only a fitful sleep to look forward to for today.