Chapter 38
My distractions were driving me to the brink of madness. I wore a smile that felt like a mask, trying to ignore the painful reality that Kem had left me standing alone—probably for good.
The pieces of the puzzle lay scattered before me. A pregnancy test was spread out on the table, a unqualified reminder of the rumors swirling around about her being with a vampire. Maybe she was involved with someone and had become pregnant. If that was the case, one pill could end it all.
"Hey, Kem," I said, my voice shaky. "I just want to say I'm not mad at you. You're pregnant by a vampire, aren't you? But we can do something about it. It's expensive, sure, but not as costly as raising a child. Just please come home."
As I hung up, my phone rang again. My heart raced when I saw it was Kem. I answered quickly, relief flooding over me.
"Oh God, Kem, are you alright?"
"You want me to abort my husband's baby!" she yelled, her voice a mix of anger and disbelief.
I gasped, confusion flooding my focus. "What do you mean?" Was I still high from the ecstasy I'd experienced with both Jager and Wade at the club? Or had I just spent too long surrounded by loud music?
"What husband?" I stammered, realizing that if she had a husband, it implied a wedding. "You know what? Forget that question. When are you coming back home?"
She sighed, her bare feet shuffling on the floorboards of wherever she was. "Where are you?"
"I can't tell you that."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't want you to find me, Xanthe."
I gritted my teeth, frustration rising within me. "I'm sorry about the argument. It's over now. Let's come home and get rid of that thing. I know it's a vampire—"
"Let me stop you right there." Her voice dropped to a calm hush, as if she were afraid someone might overhear her.
"I love Valois. Second, I'm starting a family now.
I stuck with you for years, trying to convince you to spread your wings and fly, but you just keep getting caught up in that impossible plan. "
"I was trying to ensure we stayed together," I shouted in the empty apartment. "You basically betrayed me. You got married behind my back. When did this even happen?" I was jumping from one question, back to another, I was extremely confused.
She sighed again, her voice tinged with regret. "It was last year when I told you I was with my parents. I was walking down the aisle and on my honeymoon. I just couldn't tell you. I'm so sorry."
I swallowed hard, feeling my body weaken under the weight of her words.
Two women had just exhausted me, and now this devastating news—my best friend had betrayed me for a man.
A vampire, no less, someone everyone seemed to know and see except for me.
I sank to the floor, irony not lost on me as I found myself right by her door, her lingering scent still haunting me.
"How... look, maybe this Valois does mean something to you, but you need to come back to me. How am I supposed to survive without you? We've been best friends our entire lives." My voice cracked.
"Wade and Jager."
"No... let's not talk about them," I growled, looking down at the remnants of their presence still clinging to me. But I was just using them—using my privilege. That's how it worked. We didn't fall in love, get married, or betray each other for the sake of our privilege.
I leaned my head against the wall, tears streaming down my cheeks. "We were supposed to save up for that property and get out of here, to live without men. To be each other's stepping stones."
"The plan was never going to work out, Xan.
Here's what I want you to do: I want you to take a sledgehammer to that thick wall of bitterness you've built around your heart regarding vampires.
I know most of them are awful, but some aren't so bad.
" I could almost picture her smiling as she glanced down at her stomach, her new reality feeling delusional to me.
"You're being brainwashed. Please come back home. You know you're nothing but food."
"No! Valois has been nothing but sweet and understanding. He sat and waited for a year while I tried to change your stubborn mind, Xans."
"I would have never done this to you," I sniffled. "Please... how am I going to make it?"
"You can stay with Wade and Jager. Let them in. They love you. Take a ride on the love boat and see how far it takes you."
"No! No! We were supposed to be best friends forever, Kem. We promised that to each other."
She sniffled on the other end. "Don't make this hard for me. I know I promised. But I met him, and love just happened. What was I supposed to do?"
"So you've been with him all this time, fucking him and living a double life?"
"I know it sounds messed up, but I loved him so much. I couldn't let it pass me by. It wasn't about him seeing me as food and me seeing him for money. He loves me. His family loves me. I'm having his baby. In a couple of months, we're going to be a beautiful family."
"But what about me? What happens to me? I can't do this without you!" My voice broke.
"Please just open your heart, Xan."
"What!" I snapped, banging my head against the wall as my legs trembled beneath me.
"Until you find love, it's best we don't talk."
I laughed bitterly. "So not only do you marry behind my back and run off, but you also want to stop talking to me?"
"I don't want to ruin what I have with my husband... so yes."
"I'll never call you back again. It's great that you're all rich and happy now while I'm stuck on this lonely road. Thanks a lot, Kem." My words dripped with sarcasm. "I love you so much for screwing me over. I couldn't have asked for a better friend. What kind of friend does that?"
"Just open your heart for love."
"Stop telling me to do something so horrible. How does one even go about opening their heart for love? Does my heart look like a damn door?"
"Just do it. Trust me."
"Goodbye, Kem. I wish you all the best. With friends like you, who needs enemies? They're already drinking, eating, and sleeping with you."
"Take my advice: just let them in."
"I hope you have a safe delivery," I growled, my anger boiling over. "Bye!" I broke down again, the weight of it all crashing down on me. "Bye!" I screamed into the phone, my fury beyond anything I knew I could feel.