NINETEEN
Simone
“Don’t leave,” Rubin said as he stood in front of the warden’s office door the next morning.
I was only barely able to keep myself from rolling my eyes as I said, “I was gonna pop out to the store for milk, but I guess it can wait.”
“I mean it, Simone,” he said before he stepped out of the office.
He stared at me for a long moment, then closed the door.
I didn’t let three minutes pass before I was up and scurrying around the warden’s desk and running to the door. My hand hovered near the knob, but I didn’t turn it, wondering if this was a trick, or if Rubin had locked it.
Wondering why I felt so adrift without him.
My body hadn’t forgotten him, that much was sure.
I still felt the ache of him all over, the tender throb where he’d bitten and sucked and fucked with his fingers.
Remembered him when I’d caught a glimpse of my body in the medicine cabinet mirror, red-brown splotches that marked me as his.
But what happened in the dark of night meant nothing now.
Crave him as I might, the circumstances hadn’t changed.
I needed to remember what was important.
I dropped my arm and looked back at the office. It hadn’t been long, so I’d give him more time.
The warden had left a suit jacket in his closet, and I pulled it on. The warden was about my height, so the sleeves weren’t too long and the shoulders were loose. It was hot, as proven by the bead of sweat that rolled down my back, but it was clean, and that was enough.
I buttoned the three buttons and pulled up the sleeves, then looked around the office again.
The only thing that could even pass for a weapon was the heavy metal stapler on the warden’s desk.
Next to useless, but I took it anyway, along with the walkie-talkie Rubin had left on the blotter, its charge light blinking a slow green. Then I went back to the door.
When I twisted, the knob gave without so much as a hint of resistance. I huffed as I looked at it. Of course he hadn’t locked me in.
Rubin’s word was law, and I would obey it like I always did.
Well, except for that one time.
My ears burned as I remembered the way I felt as he had watched me for every second of the eight hours I had testified.
That didn’t matter, I told myself as I stepped into the hall.
I was greeted by a distant scream, and then eerie silence.
The lights were off and the hallway was lit by emergency lighting on the catwalk. Merrick and the COs playing games, no doubt. They’d turn them on sometime tonight. I wondered if they realized they made the jail a lighthouse.
Even the fires had started to fade, so at night, the city was blanketed in darkness. Rubin had said it meant the power grid had gone down. I forced the grimace off my face at that thought as I inched down the hallway.
My head was pounding, but the infirmary, which I still hadn’t managed to get to, was on the opposite side of the jail, which meant I’d only have to cross hostile COs and God knew how many zombies to get relief.
I was sure the location was an intentional design choice, but it was freaking inconvenient.
I continued down the hall, the stapler in my grip. I was thankful for it because it kept at least one hand from shaking and gave me something to squeeze whenever the urge to scream hit me.
It had only been a few days, but I should have been used to this by now.
I pretended I was, but each step felt like an eternity, the spooky shadows cast by the emergency lighting precursors to whatever terror hid in the darkness.
The inhumanity of it all hit me with each step.
There were no windows in this part of the hallway—probably a safety hazard—but that meant no sunlight.
That didn’t matter now, either. I continued down.
I made it to the end of the administrative hallway. There was a heavy metal door that had been propped open. But Rubin had come this way, so he must have approved that. After what Veronica and Kane had shared, Rubin was on high alert, and the men were spread thin.
We all were.
I passed the rec room, and remembered Rubin’s reaction to Davis. The man had called me a whore. That wasn’t even worth an extra heartbeat, let alone a beating.
But then again, I was dealing with Rubin. If nothing else, the insult was a challenge to his authority, and Rubin took those quite poorly. Still, it was excessive, ridiculous that a man had to lose his life over something so small.
I’d never tell Rubin, though. And it wouldn’t matter if I did.
I found another propped door that led to another hallway.
This was where Kane and Veronica had come from.
There shouldn’t have been anyone down there, but my instinct told me to go.
I ignored my discomfort and started to creep down it, feeling uncannily like a rat in a maze.
Except this maze was filled with monsters, any of whom could be lurking around the next corner—
“Simone!”
I shrieked and then whirled. The stapler and the walkie-talkie clattered to the ground as I grabbed Aaron in a giant hug. It hadn’t even been a day, but I’d missed him.
“So good to see you,” I said.
He squeezed me back, then pulled away, the platinum chain at his throat catching the thin emergency light.
He’d started wearing the chain the year we lost Nana, said he liked to keep the people he loved close enough to feel.
I’d told him she would have thought it was gaudy.
He’d just laughed and said I should be glad he hadn’t gotten diamond charms in the shape of our initials.
“You all right?” he asked, his brow furrowed as he watched me.
“Of course!” I said. I was anything but, but I’d never admit that to Aaron. He didn’t need to worry about me.
“Won’t lie, Moni. I’ve seen better. I’d been holding onto hope that this was a temporary thing. It’s not.” He scrubbed his hand over his head. He shaved it religiously, but the shadow of hair had started to emerge.
How could I argue with that? I didn’t even try. “We’ll be okay, Aaron.”
He squeezed my hand and gave me a sad smile. Then he reached into his pocket. “We’ll be more than fine. I found a fresh pack of cards, so all is well.”
I laughed and he smiled back at me, as grateful for him now as I had been back in elementary school when Aaron had made sure I had dinner at least three nights a week. No matter how bad things got, Aaron always lifted me up, and that hadn’t changed.
He studied me. “Thought you were supposed to be on lockdown. Rubin let you go?”
“Did he tell you that?” I asked.
“Of course not. Just heard him telling Arben you were in the warden’s office. So he told you you could leave?”
“Well…” I tilted my head.
Aaron frowned. “Well what?”
“Well, no, but Rubin’s not the boss of me, and I needed to find you.”
“You don’t need to worry about me. It’s my job to look after you,” he said.
“No, Aaron, it’s our job to look after each other,” I corrected him.
He nodded and patted my shoulder. “I was doing just that. Figured I could try to get across to the other side, see what’s going on there. Rubin’s got this shit locked down.”
“Is that good or bad?”
“Good, I say from what I hear from upstairs. Don’t know if it’s inmates, COs, or…”
“Zombies,” I supplied.
He sighed and then looked longingly at his hands. “I definitely need a smoke on that one, but my stash is upstairs, and you know how Rubin feels about that anyway.”
Rubin had a staunch no-drug policy, and I didn’t expect the apocalypse would change that.
“Anyway, he got the…zombies out of here. It was about sixty. They tossed them right into the courtyard. Now they’re working through getting weapons and contraband.”
“Even the pruno?” I smiled.
“What you know about pruno, Simone?”
“I know I’m surprised y’all haven’t killed each other making toilet wine, but if there’s any silver lining to the end of the world, I guess that would be one.”
He laughed. “Beggars can’t be choosers.”
“Don’t I know it,” I muttered. “So what now?”
He shook his head. “You know I like to have a couple plays, but I got a shitty hand, girl. You need to stick with Rubin.” He tilted his head and studied me. “You look surprised,” he said.
“I am surprised. Why would you say that?”
Aaron rubbed his hand on the back of his bald head. “Makes sense. He’s got his shit together.” He shrugged. “He likes you.”
I smiled. “You mean he hates me?”
Aaron rubbed his head again, then looked at me. “He likes you.”
“Why do you say that?”
He held my gaze. “Moni, you’re still alive.”
“Is that all it takes?” I asked.
Rubin’s voice cut in before Aaron could respond.
“Is that all it takes for what?”