Chapter 12
Twelve
“We’re home, my darling!” My granny wakes me from my sleep. She is sat on the bed by my feet stroking my arm. I feel groggy from the wine and kebab meat.
I had a strange dream about Hannah. She was stood in the forest surrounded by flowers with a huge pregnant belly with her boys and Lois around her. It filled my heart with joy seeing her so happy. My dreams can be so weird sometimes.
“I have brought you up a tea and toast. Was it a heavy night?” She smiles.
“I did have a bit too much,” I reply with a frog in my throat from under the duvet.
“And you came home alone, I see.” Her voice is inquisitive.
I pull the covers over my head in haste. “Granny!” I smile. “But yes, alone.”
She pats my leg and starts folding the clothes I tore off so I could just roll into bed.
She chuckles to herself. “Did you have fun?”
“I did. Lois and Hannah are just lovely and Sam… he’s, well, lovely too.” I know I am blushing, but I try hard to hide it.
“They are. They are good people to surround yourself with.” She smiles, placing my skirt on a chair by the dressing table.
I pull myself up to sitting, my hair falling in front of my face. I have to take a breath, so I don’t throw up. After Greg called, I did rage drink another bottle of wine, so I am really not feeling fresh.
“How was the fair?” I ask.
“Grand! We sold the lot which was good and have been invited to three more that they run around the country so that will be some more income for us.” She rubs her hands together.
“I feel awful that I’m not contributing.”
“I know you do, and I know I have told you not to, but I also know you still won’t take no for an answer.
So, I spoke to Jim. He just doesn’t have the time to run the store now with Fi being so poorly, so I have offered your services.
The pay would be minimal, but it will keep you busy.
If you want it? No time limit or anything, just to help really. And please don’t feel you have to.”
“Granny, I would love to help. It is about time I get back into working and not just sitting around with Nettle, telling him my woes.” I laugh.
“Perfect. Get yourself sorted and you can take a wander there this afternoon and he can give a tour and tell you what will be expected.” She beams at me.
“Sounds good, Granny. Thank you.” I smile back.
“You’re welcome, Harri.” She stands up to leave but then sits back down. “Harri…”
“Yeah?”
Her eyes narrow into mine. “I feel like something is bothering you.”
“Me? No, I am all good. Just very hungover.” I nervously laugh. When Granny stares at you, she is looking into your soul.
“Harriet…” She looks at me over the top of her reading glasses.
My shoulders drop, and a sigh falls from my throat. “Just… this stuff with Greg. I’ve got to go back at some point and face it all and it’s just playing on my mind. I love it here, but this is not my home, is it?”
“Of course, it is! You can stay as long as you like, Harri, even if that is forever, but I agree that you need to make peace with whatever it is you feel you have left behind.” She holds my hands in hers.
“I’m just so stuck, Granny.” I feel the lump in my throat begin to crawl up and my eyes begin to sting. Oh God. I am going to cry, aren’t I? The tears spill over the edge and pour down my face. “I don’t know what’s for the best.”
“Oh, sweet girl.” She flings her hands around me and holds me tight. “You know that you will do what’s right, Harri. Do what’s right for you and if that means you need to be back in London then so be it. But we will always be here. Always.”
She dries my tears with the corner of her cardigan. It’s soft and warm on my cheek. Everything about this woman oozes sweet grandma and I feel so lucky that she is mine.
“I know you will. I just don’t want to let anyone get hurt…” My voice is a mutter of sadness.
“Sometimes people do get hurt unintentionally. It is different from intentional hurt. Intentional hurt is your responsibility to correct but unintentional… well, sometimes that has to happen for us to get to the place we need to be. Does that make sense?”
I nod. “Yeah, it does. It just sucks making the decisions.”
“It does, but you will make the right one for you, darling.” She squeezes my hand and picks up the pile of clothes she had folded.
“Right, I am going to get these in the wash because they smell terribly of onion and grease. What did you eat last night?” She pulls a funny face making me feel a little lighter inside.
“A kebab.” I laugh.
“Kebab? Exotic.” She smiles and leaves the room.
I hate that she is so wise. Whatever I decide to do, someone is going to get hurt.
Me, Greg, my mother, Granny, Aradia, Sam.
Oh God, Sam. What a mess. I need to produce a plan, I know I do, but right now toast and tea and a shower call, followed by doing something productive with my time. Maybe that’ll clear my head.
When I finally get myself out of the pit I have made, I finish my breakfast and head for the shower.
The warm water in the cosy bathroom fills the room with steam.
I can see out of the window into the garden where Aradia is feeding her chickens.
The trees tower the surrounding area for miles and miles making the cottage feel completely enclosed and safe.
After the shower I get myself dried and dressed and head downstairs to wash up my pots from breakfast. Aradia comes in the back door shaking her wellies on the patio.
“Freezing out there!” She hugs her own arms and shivers.
“Is it? I best get a warmer coat soon!”
“I’ve got loads. Just take one of mine from under the stairs.”
“Thanks, Aradia.”
“No worries. Hey, how was last night? I saw two mugs in the sink this morning, eh!” She raises her eyebrow.
“Oh God, first Granny and now you! He just walked me home and we had a tea. That is all!” And he gave me the most electrifying kiss of my life, but you know, I am not sharing that with my aunt.
She laughs. “OK, OK, just a tea.” She winks and heads towards the front room. “I’m going to do some work on my laptop for a bit before yoga, so I’ll be in here if you need anything.”
“I’m heading into the village, so won’t be here. Can I pick anything up?”
“Ah, you could get some chops for dinner from the butcher’s.”
I put my hand on my hip. “Is this forcing me to see Sam?”
She crosses her heart and smiles. “I promise it’s just because I fancy a lamp chop. Oh, and do not forget a warmer coat! It is really cold.”
She heads off into the front room and I find my way to the under the stairs cupboard.
It’s deceivingly big. I open the small wooden door to a Narnia of coats and boots and a hoover.
I pick out a dark green wax jacket which is lined with thick sheep skin.
I put it over the top of my many layers of tops and jumpers and slip on my adopted wellies. Snug as a bug.
I shout bye to my aunt and granny who has joined Aradia in the front room to watch Countdown.
I make my way down the muddy drive. The frosty air stings the tip of my nose.
The trees blow lightly sending some of their orange leaves to the ground.
I enjoy the peace and quiet as I walk along the thicket towards the village, the smoke from the chimneys bellowing out in the distance.
I love the image of everyone snuggled around their fire on a lazy Sunday.
I approach the grocer’s which has a small display out the front with seasonal vegetables stacked neatly on it. I walk inside and a small plump older man is stood stacking milk into a small commercial fridge at the side. He is holding his back struggling to pick them up.
“Here, let me help.” I grab the remaining milk and stack them into the fridge.
He cracks his back as he stands up and looks at me, his face deep set with wrinkles and his flat cap nestled on top of his grey hair. “Ah, thank you, young lady.”
“You’re welcome. Are you Jim by any chance?” I question, hoping I am right.
“The one and only. Ah, you must be Cerci’s granddaughter. Harriet? I spoke to your grandmother this morning! So, kind of you to offer to help!” His eyes light up and his smile is warm and kind.
I nod. “It’s no problem. I’m looking forward to it.”
“Ah, lovely. Well, it’s quiet here, you will not have any trouble.
I stock the veg you see out the front from your aunt and Pete.
Some seasonal fruit which comes on a Friday.
Bit of bread and tins and snacks that come in when we need to order them.
Milk on a Sunday and a Tuesday. I stock enough for the village, but also we get passers-by on the way to villages that do not have any amenities or just people passing by on a drive out in the country.
I cannot pay much but it will be something.
I am needed more with Fi, my wife. She’s poorly, you see.
I am sure Cerci told you. But the village needs the shop. So, any help is appreciated.”
This sweet old man in front of me looks tired. I could use this opportunity to really give something back to the village that has welcomed me with open arms.
“Well, how about I take over for a few weeks? Give you some time with your wife and for you to have a break?”
He stands shocked for a moment then shakes his head. “Oh, I couldn’t ask that of you!”
“Honestly, I would really like to give back to the village. You have all been so welcoming to me while I have been staying here! I’d really like to!”
“Wow, well…” He rubs his neck unsure if he should trust me with his livelihood. “I guess a break would be good.”
“I promise, I will look after it like my own.”
He is still unsure. “But it’s a lot to ask of you.”
“It’s really not. And I really don’t mind!”
“Well, we open Monday, Wednesday half day, Friday, and Saturday half day and Sunday half day. But I come in on Tuesday morning for the milk delivery. Pete does the Saturday shift so you won’t need to worry about that.
He has always liked doing it and Angela…
well, she likes to come in on a Wednesday, so really it will just be the other days you will be needed. ”