Chapter 18
Eighteen
I keep walking until my thoughts have muddled into a ball of nonsensical jumble in my brain and my tears have dried up. Nothing has been resolved but being out in the forest on my own feels calming. Kind of. Nobody to let down, just me and the birds and trees in the peaceful dusk.
Oh no, it’s dusk already?
I stop and look around me and see nothing but trees.
What time is it? How long have I been walking?
Disorientation sets in and a slight panic that I don’t remember how to get home.
I am sure I just walked in a straight line, right?
Surely? I didn’t bring my phone. And it is not like I would get signal out here anyway!
Breathe, Harri. Breathe.
If I walk back the way I came, it will surely lead me back, at least to the main road so I can get to the village.
The sun is setting as I turn back on my heels, and the temperature drops a little more, my breath visible in the now peeking moonlight.
I pull my coat in tighter to stop the gnawing cold getting to my bones.
Granny and Aradia will think I am at Gloria’s or with Sam.
So, they’ll not be looking for me for hours.
Shit.
It’s fine. It’s all fine. It’s not though, is it? I am on the verge of a mental breakdown, I can do magic, I am discovering my family’s lengthy list of secrets, and I am now lost. Good one, Harri.
The last of the sun disappears behind the trees and darkness fills the forest. Birdsong is long gone and the calm feeling I had has also flown away with it. The woods are alive in a way they were not during the day.
Luckily, the full moon is bright in the sky, giving a silver glow around me.
Visibility is bad but not to the point where I can’t see.
I walk quickly through darkness, branches crunching under foot which echo around me.
My scarf is wrapped around my chattering teeth and my hands are in my pockets to keep warm.
Just get home. An owl hoots in the distance.
I stop to make sense of where it came from.
Then comes a noise.
This time it is in front of me in a small clearing up ahead. A loud crunch of a branch followed by rustling. Someone or something is in the trees with me.
I stand frozen in time, teeth clenched shut unable to make a noise. My breath catches in the back of my throat, my eyes darting between the trees.
“It’ll be a deer or a badger,” I whisper to myself for some self-comfort.
I inch forwards a little more towards the clearing. I look up towards the moon and can see smoke in the distance. Log burners. It will be the village. My shoulders relax as I make it to the edge of the clearing.
I stop. Frozen. Opposite me on the other side of the clearing staring straight back at me with intense eyes.
A wolf.
It stands perfectly still, its grey coat glinting lightly in the moonlight above us. Its dark green eyes lock on to mine. Unblinking, unafraid.
I can’t move, can’t look away. There is something in its gaze, not wild, but knowing. After what seems like an eternity, but must have been seconds, it flees back into the darkness from which it came.
My heart is in my throat and my stomach at my knees. I let out a breath. My back which is now drenched with sweat slams against a tree trunk behind me. My legs turn to jelly as I slide down to a crouching position, the tingling sensation flowing in my body.
I could have used magic to protect myself. But the wolf, it meant no harm. It is like it knew I was not a threat. Or maybe that now I was. Plus, I don’t know any protection magic!
I sit for a moment, listening for any other noises, any other shadows in the darkness, before pulling myself to my feet.
The owl hoots again.
Just get home.
I brush the leaves off my leggings and straighten my scarf.
“Harri?” a voice behind me says.
I spin around.
Sam.
He stands there, so close, with the faint glow of the moonlight on his face. He hadn’t made a sound approaching me. He was silent. His sleeves of his shirt are rolled up exposing his muscular arms. He is carrying a small hatchet in his hand.
“What are you doing out here?” he demands.
“I could ask you the same question!” I reply, half happy he has found me and half wondering why he is also out in the forest at night.
“I told you not to come out here at night alone. It’s dangerous out here and you must be freezing.
” His voice is angry, but his eyes concerned.
He pulls me into his body, his chest roasting hot against me.
His strong body engulfs me into safety. He holds me tightly, one hand on the small of my back, the other cupping the back of my head.
I pull myself away a little. “You must be freezing in nothing but a shirt.” I look up into his eyes. Green. Emerald.
I study his eyes. The flicker of darkness within them.
“What’s wrong?” he questions, looking puzzled.
My breath is still shaky and I stumble on my words. “I saw… I saw a wolf.”
He raises his eyebrow. “Harri, we don’t get wolves out here. It was probably a farmer’s dog,” he says dismissively.
“It was not a dog, Sam. It was huge and his eyes… he had these dark emerald eyes just like—” My breath is caught in my throat. Surely not.
“Like?” He raises one eyebrow interested in what my next words will be.
“You.” I stand there, unsure of what has just come out of my mouth.
He stands for a moment then breaks into an almost uncomfortable laughter. “Well, he must have been a very handsome wolf.”
I feel silly. I am not even sure what I was trying to insinuate but since my entire world has been turned upside down, I could believe anything.
“Sorry.” I smile. “I don’t know, I must be cold.” My teeth chatter. Maybe I am delirious? I don’t need to start making up more fairytale stories. But those eyes. And my dreams. The niggle of more hits the back of my brain. But my need for warmth and safety pushes it further back.
“Come on, let’s get you back to the village.” He starts to lead me towards the clearing when I stop.
“You didn’t explain what you were doing out here. And with no coat,” I say, something still not feeling right in the pit of my stomach.
“I was chopping wood. I don’t need a coat.” He pulls my hand out of my glove and places it on his chest. “See? Chopping wood works up a sweat.” He smiles and holds my hand in his. His hand feels like a furnace. It sends warmth up my arm and around my body.
“But where’s the wood?” I question.
He tips his head back. “What is this? The Weakest Link? I’ve already taken some back to the house and the cafe.
I came out to just do a bit more and that’s when I saw you.
” He pulls me in again, his eyes narrowing into mine.
“Please don’t come out here alone. If I hadn’t have found you…
well, you could have frozen to death. What were you even doing? ”
“A walk. You really think it was just a farmer’s dog?” I ask for reassurance.
“Probably. Dave in the next village has an Irish wolfhound and they basically look like wolves. But please, save your walks for the daytime.” He looks for me to agree. I nod. His eyes soften. “Is everything OK?” He looks concerned.
“I just have a lot on my mind.” I want to tell him everything, but my tongue stops me.
“You should have called me. I could have helped ease it.” He gives me a cheeky wink, and I roll my eyes, but in reality, his jokes can be all that I need sometimes.
My mind stops jumping to conclusions and I start to relax.
Sam pulls me close into him, his arm draped over my shoulder keeping me from the frigid air that surrounds us.
He guides me through the trees until we come out of the other side of the village. Funnily enough if I had just carried on walking I would have come out of the other side. It shows how disorienting the trees can be. Maybe I didn’t actually see anything at all.
We walk to the cafe where he uses the key to open it up. Inside the warmth of the heating hits us with force.
“That’s better,” he exclaims lighting the few candles on the tables and placing the hatchet on the counter.
“Best to not put the lights on, or we’ll end up with late-night customers thinking we’re open.” He flicks the lock on the door and turns to me. His eyes meet mine with the tension that has been building between us.
“Will Gloria mind we’re here?” I ask quietly, hoping that the answer is no and that we have ourselves a private space. Finally.
“No, I come here sometimes when I can’t sleep.” He smiles and heads to the coffee machine.
“Can I use your phone, to let my granny know I’m OK? I stupidly didn’t bring mine.”
“Sure.” He slides over his mobile. Greg would never! His phone was his and would rather die than let me look at it. I now know why of course. But Sam is so open. Not a care in the world if I scroll through his messages.
“I’ve got Aradia’s number in there somewhere. You’ll have to scroll through to find it,” he mentions while pouring two hot coffees into two cups.
I find Aradia’s number and text her to let her know I am staying with Sam and pass the phone back towards him. He leaves it on the counter unbothered whether it’s in his hand or not.
Sam passes me my cup and then helps himself to chocolate cake that is in the display cabinet.
“Gloria isn’t going to be happy you are helping yourself to her stock!” I laugh.
“She knew the risks. Giving keys to me is basically an invitation to me eating whatever I want.” He smirks and pulls out two forks.
“Here.” He hands one over to me. “Try it.”
I dig my fork into the thick layer of ganache and devour it. It is delicious, sumptuous and velvety in my mouth. The chocolate sends a buzz of good feeling around my body.
I stand on the opposite side of the counter to Sam, both using our elbows to lean on.
We are a breath away from each other but the counter is keeping us apart.
Ironic, right? He forks another piece into his mouth as his gaze meets mine.
Sparks pass between us, the kind that speak of unspoken promises and the longing we know we share.