Chapter 3
CORA
The door to my bedroom opens roughly, startling me from my thoughts and my tired reflection in the mirror on top of my dressing table. My head turns, anxiety spiking at the thought that my mother has finally found her way out of the bottom of a champagne bottle. To my relief, it’s only Bella.
My eyes widen at the sight of her outfit. “That’s your version of a disguise?”
Nimbly, my best friend removes her oversized blacked out sunglasses, revealing her signature eye roll. “What’s wrong with it?” She asks accusingly, cocking her hip and placing one hand on it.
“It’s just very…”
She holds up a hand to stop me. “This coat is vintage, and I will not hear another word of slander against it.”
I tilt my head, “You look like Inspector Gadget.”
Silence stretches. And then disappears into fits of giggles from us both.
“Oh god, I do, don’t I?” Bella closes the door as I wipe my eyes free of the happy tears gathering. “You have approximately one hour before your mother remembers she has tea with the duke scheduled today. I popped an extra pill in her drink as I came up, but I doubt she will nap for long.”
I rise and engulf her into a hug.
“Thank you, I honestly don’t know what I would do without you.” I say against her dark flowing locks.
“What else am I supposed to do while you're on house arrest?”
I cringe. Well, she’s not wrong with the terminology.
My mood shifts as we peel away from each other, Bella must have sensed it because even though her eyes are shielded by those ridiculously oversized sunglasses, her smile falters.
“Don’t worry, I’m sure that Grenville will open back up soon.
They must be close to wrapping up the whole Daphne thing now.
” Ah yes, the now common story that Benjamin had spun to cover up the fact that his—now—fiancée murdered a professor on the university grounds.
“I’m inclined to agree, but I doubt he’s going to open the doors until Lousia is back. The school has never closed before. Literally never, I googled it.”
Bella snorts. “Look at you doing your own research. Imagine if you applied that to something dull, like a law degree. You’d probably do quite well.” My bad mood dispels at that thought.
“Lying has never been your strong suit, Bella. Besides, I bet you every single penny on my father’s black card that Grenville closing its doors has absolutely everything to do with the fact that nobody has seen our friend in a month.”
We both collapse into the arm chairs near the large bay window of my ancient room.
I press one finger down on the buzzer at the edge of the round table between us.
Neither of us say anything as we wait for the help to arrive with refreshments.
Bella finally removes her sunglasses, revealing her observant almond eyes framed with a stark blue liner.
She looks a damn sight better than I do. Which makes me writhe inside with jealousy.
The door to my room opens once more. I breathe a sigh of relief as Trish, one of our nicer maids, enters holding an ornate silver tray adorned with a cold glass bottle of spring water and two glasses, along with two salad bowls.
Trish is a second generation maid that’s been with my family her entire life.
That doesn’t mean that I don’t trust that she won’t go running back to my mother and spill all of my secrets to get a pay rise, of course.
Bella eyes Trish until she leaves us, closing the door softly behind her, clearly having the same thoughts as me.
“I’m guessing your parents are still hell bent on you not returning to Grenville?” She asks, mixing her salad with her fork.
“You know what they’re like… They weren’t pleased about me going in the first place.
I only managed to convince them because the courting there has such high success rates.
” Bella hums in agreement before taking a bite of the leafy greens.
I stare down at my own plate, trying to remember the last time I ate carbs. God I miss carbs.
“Your family seriously need to get with the times. While mine still has a way to go, they’re practically living in the future compared to yours.”
“Oh please, yours works for their own agendas as well. I’m sure that they would never allow you to jet off around the world with your aunt if you weren't set to inherit her fortune.” I shuffle my food around my plate.
“True. but still, it’s barbaric how they treat you Cora. They care more about your appearance and marriage prospects than any other family I’ve met.”
I don’t answer. The reminder that I’ve been gaslit and guilt-tripped my entire life stings.
“Did they threaten you again?” Bella asks, pulling me from my thoughts. It’s only then that I realise that my cheeks are wet.
I swipe the tear tracks away as I look up to my best friend.
“They forbade me from leaving the grounds last week. I’ve pretty much been confined here since.
” Bella looks at me with a mixture of pity and horror at my admission.
“Their excuse was that I needed time to not only think about myself and my future, but also the fact that my sisters’ prospects would be affected by my choice. ”
“Talk about pressure…”
I laugh, but there's no humour behind it. My parents' conquest is vacuous in comparison to the heavy weight that lay on my chest day and night. The guilt that’s taken ownership of my mind and body is insidious and foreign. An entity I can’t explain.
A black hole filled to the brim with memories of blood and screams. The memories grow like ivy, wrapping themselves around my brain and forcing my eyes to stay open, to watch that awful day over and over again.
I’ve considered therapy, but how could I explain that I watched my friend murder our professor last term?
I can’t. For Louisa’s sake. After all, she is in this mess because of me.
Because I was a scared, naive girl who only cared for her own ambitions.
Lou saved me, and I thanked her by selling her out to Benjamin Grenvile of all people.
Even now I don’t know what possessed me to do it.
It was like an out-of-body experience which I put down to the shock of it all.
The only thing that marginally helped, was the reason why Bella was here.
Her fork lands on her plate with clatter, I glance up to see that she’s finished.
The noise of metal on porcelain jars me back to the here and now and the purpose of my friends visit.
“Did you get what I needed?” I ask, rising from my chair eagerly and leaving my plate untouched.
Anticipation builds as I head over to my four poster bed.
I crouch down and pull out a small wooden box from underneath.
This could go one or two ways… Bella could think I’m insane, or utterly brilliant. I would prefer the latter.
Inside the box lay the only thing that makes the guilt retreat back into the darkness.
Research. It started when the feelings would get too overwhelming.
I’d pull out my phone and begin to scroll through the latest headlines surrounding the Grenvilles and Louisa’s brother, Frankie.
I curl my fingers around the wood, my life raft of sorts…
The pads of my fingers dig into the grain, grounding me to the present.
“Before I open this, I need you to promise that you will not freak out.” My eyes flick up to my best friend, who has seen all of the different versions of me, except for this one.
I take a deep breath in and unclasp the metal seal. Slowly, I lift the lid to reveal its contents. Bella’s eyes go wide as she lowers herself to a crouch next to me.
“Cora… what is this?” Her gaze bounces around the newspaper clippings and printed articles. Each one hand cut by me and labelled with different coloured dots in the corner. “This has gone beyond a simple school girl crush, Cora. You’re bordering on stalking.”
I wrinkle my nose in embarrassment. My obsession began when I tried to get into contact with Lou, to apologise, but her number had been disconnected.
Then, about three days after her engagement to Benjamin was announced, her father had been pronounced dead at the scene of a car crash, which of course, I did not believe for a second.
Since then, rumours swirled that Louisa was holding herself up indoors at Grenville manor, unable to face the world after such a loss.
Then those vulturous journalists began following Frankie around begging for updates on Louisa and how she was dealing with the loss of her father. Of course, they never asked Frankie how he was coping…
About a week ago, I guess to quell the rumour mill, Benjamin had held an exclusive interview with the British Gazette, a notoriously salacious newspaper that is more obsessed with what parliament members are wearing than the policies they actually speak in house on.
Benjamin had claimed that Louisa was travelling to a retreat out of the country in order to process her grief without constant speculation.
Bella had called me all of five minutes after the article notification dinged on my phone, she believed the same as me…
That something truly awful had happened to our friend.
After some speculation on Bella's part (I was far too embarrassed to reach out to Benjamin after everything that happened), it had turned out that Louisa had been kidnapped by an ex boyfriend of hers.
The day after that interview was posted, they caught Frankie coming out of a nightclub. He looked disheveled, clearly a man that’s struggling. That much is clear from the photographs. That cheeky boyish charm I had seen at the rugby game had all but disappeared behind worry lines.
The tall hedges of the maze flash in my mind, each side seeming to grow taller before the branches join together above me as they shield the moon from my view.