22
Kylo
Well-fed on Maria’s leftover food, and reset from a pleasant visitation day—despite the heatstroke hiccup—they continue their weekly routine of classes, studying, and late-night cuddle sessions. All the while Kylo commits to counselling.
The sessions are somewhat helpful, addressing his impulsive behaviour, addictive personality, and people-pleasing tendencies. However, whenever the woman tries to bring up the root cause of his toxic coping mechanisms, Kylo shuts down. He doesn’t want to, but the fear that erupts inside him when the topic is broached is too much for him to handle, making him antsy and flighty—he even walked out of his first session because of it. Thankfully, the counsellor picked up on this and taught him how to use certain tools—like grounding exercises—for healthy coping when those panicked feelings arise—in hopes that one day he’ll be ready to open up about his most recent trauma.
Today is no exception. His session is constructed with breathing exercises, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and conversation regarding his past—unearthing trauma surrounding his grandfather that he had been pushing down year after year. It’s this catalyst that’s aiding in his reckless behaviour, and ignoring it drove him down a path of self-destruction. It’s both eye-opening and haunting to know that someone so pivotal—an elder in his pack—has been affecting him so deeply.
Unfortunately, as their session comes to a close, his counsellor has to reschedule their daily meetings. Despite her personal desire to continue as Kylo had intended, with the increase in students this year and the universal stress of term finals just around the corner, she simply can no longer accommodate daily sessions. So, seeing as he has been showing improvement, they decide upon weekly sessions as being the beneficial middle ground for them both.
After his session, Kylo heads to the cafeteria to grab something to eat before his next class. With thirty minutes to spare, he tries to be quick by grabbing prepackaged items in case he needs to take them with him to class, and finds a seat in an empty corner of the room.
“Uhm. Kylo?” A voice says smally as he gnaws on his lunch. He looks up, only for the whole world to stop around him as his heart drops to the floor between his feet. Alanna.
Lingering several feet away, with her hands clutched in front of her. She looks like she always seems to—a talented face of makeup and her cherry hair curled, in a polished outfit—but something is different.
He can’t tell how long he stares, unmoving, before he silently gasps in a breath, having been holding it from the shock. As his lungs take in air, everything rushes back into focus, like a deer orienting itself after being stunned by headlights. Lips pressed tightly together, he pushes out of his seat, wavering.
No. Not again. Not again. Make it stop. It’s as if he’s back in that darkened room, pinned to the bed beneath her and her lover—helpless, dying. He clutches his chest, tightness crushing him like a vice. Breathe. Just breathe. In for four—one, two, three, four. Hold for four—two, three, four. Out for four—two, three, four. The repetitive box breathing he was taught, that he even used to help Lathan break out of his attack, helps regulate his nervous system before one even starts.
“I-I know,” she stammers, “I’m going. I just… I’m sorry. For what happened. He…controlled a lot of people. And that doesn’t excuse what I did. I know that. But…” She trails off, rambling, and looks away as anxiously as Kylo feels.
Kylo holds his trembling hands together as he thinks over her words. Turning to face her, his glassy, golden-toned eyes meet hers like embers of anger and pain.
“What he did—what you did—haunts me every night,” he manages to bite past the growing lump in his throat. Sorry? How can you be sorry? You let that monster hurt me. You helped him. If it weren’t for Lathan, you would have killed me before the term even began.
She picks at her fingers nervously and tries to hold his stare, but can’t, looking down as if his eyes are genuinely burning into her. She nods and rolls her lips into her mouth, smudging her lipstick slightly in the corners. “I don’t expect your forgiveness. I don’t deserve it. I just wanted you to know that I am sorry. Even though it doesn’t change anything.”
In the past, she was dominant, flirtatious, and a force to be reckoned with. Now, she’s as meek as a mouse, fidgeting as she apologizes. Looking down, Kylo starts to wrap his head around the fact that Trevor may have had many victims—some being less obvious than himself. He’s not sure if he can forgive her, but it is reassuring to know she’s no longer a threat—even if he is still scared.
“Thank you,” he says quietly, avoiding eye contact. Then he quickly turns and heads straight for the bathrooms, still shaking as the panic and adrenaline makes its way through his system. Locking himself into a stall, he curls into a ball on the lidded toilet and sobs into his hands. All the emotions he’s been trying to heal—the trauma he’s been too scared to face, suddenly bubbles up to the surface. Seeing Alanna in person and hearing her voice is much more than he was prepared for, even though, logically, he knows their torment is over.
The tears pour from a thunderous storm to morning dew down Kylo’s cheeks. Collecting himself with a few deep breaths, he decides his afternoon classes aren’t worth it after this unexpected encounter.
The sun warms his face amidst the autumn air, which breezes by and rustles his clothes. Thinking back to Alanna—how tiny she looked, how scared she seemed to face him —he realizes it would’ve taken a lot of courage to confront him, especially after her boyfriend was killed for his ruthlessness. Her actions have scarred him deeper than she’ll ever know, but he does admire the strength it took for her to apologize. She could’ve avoided him up until graduation, and then they’d never see each other again, ignoring the harm she caused and pretending like it never happened, but she didn’t.
Kylo hates the way this feels. Both the conflicting sensation between seeing the good in his attacker and just how tightly he’s holding onto all the pain that he’s desperate to get away from. So, instead of continuing to dwell on the interaction, he decides to take a step in the direction he wants his life to head in.
Before going back to the dorms, he takes a detour to the campus grocery store and a small boutique located nearby—with the sheer size of Obscura, it has lots of minor shopping and dining options, though he’s heard the rent is astronomical. Gathering quite the handful of supplies, he pops back into their room to set up a surprise for Lathan.
After quickly tidying their room, he scatters pink and white rose petals across the floor leading to the beds. On the blankets he leaves a note that reads:
“ Meet me at the West Campus field on the hill @ 7pm ? (Don’t eat first!) ”
◆◆◆
At the top of the hill, in the earthy dark of autumn’s evening, Kylo sits atop his checkered throw blanket, waiting impatiently with a bouquet of white roses in his arms. He’s dressed cozily in his beanie, a black hoodie, and his classic grey sweatpants—a classy look for a crisp, cool night, now that the temperature’s preparing for the oncoming winter. A few days too late, considering Lathan’s sunstroke, but the unfamiliar redness of the vampire’s face as his burns heal is admittedly pretty cute.
Bordering the blanket, on the grass, are candles lighting up the spread he has laid out before him. Steaming hot Thai food in to-go containers, a bottle of red wine and two plastic cups, and a small black box placed in the space where Lathan will sit.
He admires the twinkling stars—out early as they near a new season—until he hears the sound of brushed grass and the crunch of soft leaves echoing from the bottom of the hill. Shifting to face the noise, his gaze lands upon his boyfriend, bobbing from side to side casually as he climbs the hill. Kylo instantly melts in his presence, turning his admiration from the constellations above to the handsome man walking toward him. A satin black button-down frames his torso with its sleeves rolled to the elbows, the first few buttons undone, only adding to his sex appeal. His shirt is tucked into his narrow-legged, subtly pinstriped pants. Just watching him approach makes Kylo’s cheeks flush.
Seeing the surprise waiting for him, Lathan slows his momentum and his brows dip with confusion, despite the oncoming smile tugging at his lips. “What’s all this?”
“A date.” Kylo smirks, pleased with himself. “I felt like spoiling you today. Just…don’t mind the plastic cups and cutlery. It was a little last minute, and I was workin’ with what the campus store had in stock.” He chuckles, and as the moonlight shimmers against the material of the vampire’s shirt up close, he exhales. “Damn, you look good.”
Crawling onto the blanket next to him, Lathan sits on his butt with one leg outstretched, keeping the other folded beneath him. “So do you,” he says, eyeing his boyfriend up and down. Kylo notices his gaze lingering a second too long on his sweats, the hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of Lathan’s lips. From his pocket he pulls out one of the rose petals from their room, feels its silken texture between his fingertips, and then motions with it to the display curated for him. “But what did I do to deserve this ?”
“Nothing.” Placing the bouquet of flowers down in front of them, Kylo leans closer to his boyfriend. “You don’t need to do anything. You’re perfect as you are.”
Lathan closes the gap between them and kisses Kylo softly. When their lips break, he speaks, no more than a whisper. “You’re too kind to me. And I don’t always know why. But I love you for it.”
“I have my reasons,” Kylo teases quietly with a grin, eyeing Lathan’s soft lips. He gives him a gentle peck before leaning back and pointing to the small square box, no larger than his palm, sitting on the blanket next to him. “Now open your gift.” His boyfriend takes the box in his hands and pulls the ribbon, which slinks to the ground as he wiggles the lid open. Inside, a delicate silver chain necklace is wound around black felt. Looped through the chain is a rectangular pendant, embossed with a simple flower.
“A dahlia,” Kylo says softly, “for the first thing we bonded over.” He looks at it with fondness, remembering their first few nights together, getting to know one another.
Lathan stares at it silently for a long time. Then, with careful fingers, he takes it from its packaging and turns it back and forth, letting the light from the moon and candles illuminate the image.
“It’s not too much, is it? I know we only just started dating, but when I saw it, I couldn’t not buy it for you,” Kylo explains, nervously fidgeting with the hem on his hoodie.
Swallowing hard, Lathan shakes his head minutely. “It’s beautiful,” he murmurs. “I’ve never been gifted something like this before.” He lifts his eyes to Kylo with parted lips. “I…,” he starts, but shakes his head again and looks back at the engraved necklace. He sighs, seemingly made speechless by the gesture. Witnessing Lathan like this fills Kylo with both warmth and nerves. After everything they’ve been through, he just wants to give him something to say ‘thank you,’ restarting on the right foot.
“You’re incredible,” Lathan says, louder, more confident. “This is the most thoughtful thing…”
It’s funny to think how far they have come in such a short period of time. Three months ago, Lathan was testing him and his taste in music. And now? They’re sharing an intimate moment under the stars, for no other reason than to celebrate what they have together.
“I’m glad you like it,” Kylo says with a smile, watching him admire the necklace. You’ve saved me in more ways than one. I don’t know where I’d be without you… So, if I can’t convince you with words, I hope this shows you how much I truly care about you, and how much I appreciate all that you’ve done for me—how badly I want a future with you.
Lathan’s nimble hands undo the clasp and pull the sides of the chain around his neck. He fiddles for a moment until the two ends attach behind him. The necklace hands from his neck loosely against his bare skin, the flower pendant sinking toward the dip at the top of his chest muscles.
Lathan looks up at Kylo with love and adoration beaming from his dark eyes, which have become less of a mystery to him as time goes on; everything is said in those eyes. “You are everything to me.”
“I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you.” A hefty statement, but an honest one that Kylo believes wholeheartedly. He’s fallen for Lathan, body and soul.
Reaching over, he grabs the bottle of wine and pours them both a cup.
“To us,” Kylo says, holding out his drink to cheers. Lathan raises his college cup of wine and taps it against Kylo’s, but doesn’t bring the cup to his lips. Kylo takes a sip, swallowing the cheap, grocery store liquor as he watches Lathan—the distinct expression of being in thought written on his face.
“What?” Kylo chuckles with slightly knitted brows, confused. He looks behind him, then all around them both, before landing his eyes back on the vampire in front of him. “ Whaaat ?”
Lathan chuckles, and it’s almost a giggle, as he looks down. It sends rosy warmth into Kylo’s face as he grins cheekily at the laughter, raising his cup to his mouth to take another sip.
“Does that make this…a promise necklace ?” Lathan asks slyly.
The question makes Kylo choke on his wine, coughing hard. He quickly lowers his cup and hacks into the crook of his arm, trying to clear his lungs of droplets and catch his breath. “I-I mean, only if that’s what you want it to be.” He pushes through the urge to cough again, his face beet-red and bashful. How did I not think of that? Oh, gods, I basically said I wanted to marry him! What’s wrong with me?!
Kylo’s surprised reaction results in Lathan laughing, straight from the stomach. Clearly amused by his ability to tease his boyfriend. Reaching over to where the food is still sat, waiting, Lathan grabs some napkins and passes them to Kylo before the wine stains his clothes and his blanket.
Finally having recovered from inhaling liquid, Kylo is absolutely entranced by Lathan’s belly laugh. With stars in his eyes, he watches Lathan but doesn’t reach for the napkins—too enamoured by his beautiful partner. Man, his laugh is adorable.
“Kylo”—Lathan grabs the cup in Kylo’s hand, tilted to one side, and straightens it, their fingers overlapping—“you’re going to spill the wine.” He chuckles again, still smiling ear-to-ear.
“Oh, shit.” Kylo snaps out of it and grabs the napkins, wiping himself down. His heart beating fast in his chest.
“I didn’t mean to catch you so off guard. Damn.” Lathan sits back and admires him as he fumbles with the napkins. “You’ve taught me so much. I didn’t even think I was capable of love, or being loved, before I met you. You’re my favourite person, and I don’t see that ever changing.”
Lips parted, Kylo looks up slowly, his breath taken away. Butterflies migrate through him as he searches Lathan’s eyes. He feels the exact same about him, yet he phrased it so perfectly, there’s nothing more he can add. So he swallows and moves the cups and wine off the blanket before placing his hands on Lathan’s jaw to pull him into a soft, yet passionate kiss. One filled with love and a feeling of completeness. Lathan makes him feel whole.
Leaning into him fully, Lathan kisses him back and gently guides Kylo down onto his back. Slipping his knee between Kylo’s legs, their bodies wedge into one another perfectly, like puzzle pieces.
I love you.
After a few more moments of marveling in each other’s kisses, Lathan pushes up and moves their dinner off to the side to make room for him to lay next to Kylo. As soon as his back hits the blanketed ground, Kylo snuggles in close and rests his head against Lathan’s chest and the crook of his arm. Peacefully, they watch the stars twinkling overhead—a performance of shooting and dazzling natural lights—while they soak up each other’s presence. They stay here, like this, as long as they can until their growling stomachs encourage them to finally feast on the Thai food Kylo had purchased—now lukewarm, but just as delicious.
◆◆◆
The following week, it’s time, once again, for the full moon. The past few months, Kylo has been extra anxious when this day comes around, making sure to double or triple check the dates—regardless of whether or not Obscura sends a full moon notice slip and email—to avoid another surprise transformation.
Sat on their combined bed, Lathan’s arm is wrapped around Kylo, pulling him close as they try to enjoy every minute they have together before he inevitably has to leave for the night. Propped crookedly on Lathan’s lap is his laptop, with a movie playing on the screen. Something Kylo chose, and Lathan never would have. But being the best boyfriend Kylo could ask for, he didn’t care—aside from a few joking jabs about his taste before they sat down to watch.
Fully aware of the oncoming full moon, Kylo is hypersensitive about any changes beginning in his body, and becomes agitated. He fidgets throughout the first half of the film—wiggling his toes, picking at his fingers, stretching his neck—to curb the antsy feeling as his hormones, his cells , begin to align for the night’s transformation.
The movie is good. He’s seen it before and wanted to share the greatness of it with Lathan, but his eyes keep sliding to the clock every few minutes. He’s obviously nervous. Even though it’s been a few months since his first shift of the term, the memory of seeing Lathan nearly torn to shreds by his unconscious state keeps him terrified of repeating his mistake. Every full moon since, he prefers to show up to W Block early, just in case.
“You wanna go, don’t you?” Lathan asks softly, clearly having picked up on Kylo’s growing movements and discomfort.
“Yeaahh,” Kylo sings sheepishly with downturned brows, feeling bad about cutting their time short. “I just feel better about being early. Is that alright?”
“Of course. I get it.” Lathan slaps his spacebar and the movie pauses, so he lets the laptop slide off his thighs onto the bed beside him.
“Thank you!” Kylo leans in and kisses Lathan on the cheek. “We’ll finish it tomorrow. The best part is in about thirty more minutes.” He continues, lifting off the bed. “It took the film crew twenty days to get the one shot right, and it was so worth it. It totally emphasizes Julian’s mental state throughout the movie, and foreshadows the ending,” he rattles off as he collects his things.
Lathan just lies back, propping his head up with arms folded behind his head, listening to him ramble. “I wish I could come see you.”
“I know,” Kylo says with a sigh, “I wish you could, too. But they’re really strict about no visitors. Can’t have us triggered by anything out of their control.” He wouldn’t mind the company, especially since he’ll be locked away, alone, all night, until he shifts back at sunrise.
Rolling his face into the pillows, Lathan exhales with drama. “It’s fine. I’ll just wilt away in here…all by myself…with no one to talk to…”
“Oh, whatever will you do?” Kylo says robotically, mocking him as he throws on a light coat for the walk to W Block. “Poor, little vampire will have to actually study tonight.”
Lathan grabs one of their shared pillows and hucks it across the room at Kylo’s face. “I do study,” he says, getting off the bed.
Kylo laughs, catching the pillow. “Mhm? Is that before our cuddle sessions, or after you’ve ravished me so thoroughly ?” He says with a silly, seductive twist, his fanged grin growing as he backs toward the door, not wanting to take his eyes off of him.
Striding toward Kylo, Lathan shakes his head. “Don’t taunt me or I won’t be letting you out of here before I do just that.” He meets Kylo at the door and gives him a long kiss, which Kylo soaks up with a deep, dreamy inhale. “Be safe, okay? I’ll see you in the morning.”
Kylo’s eyes drift down to the sparkling silver pendant that’s reflecting a glint of light at him. Lathan hasn’t taken it off since the day he put it on. It makes his heart swell and his expression soften. Fuck, I love him.