Chapter 17
Leona stared at Sebastian as he slept peacefully. The worry lines that usually graced his features faded in the moment. The sound of his even breathing was the only thing in the room. She was hungry, and needed to feed, but didn’t have the heart to leave him at that moment. She didn’t want to risk him waking up and her not be there.
He had given her the greatest night of her existence. After the first time, they had done it a few more times, and she had come undone every time. She viewed intimacy differently now. Before, it had been a means to an end. She had never experienced sex as a human, only as an immortal. And even then, pleasure hadn’t been her priority. Gideon was a selfish lover, and the men she took after him were all the same. She had always been told that the woman’s pleasure came second, that she existed solely for the benefit and amusement of the man. Last night had completely opened her eyes. Would it be like that every time? Was it supposed to be like that? She hated assuming the worst of Sebastian, but she wouldn’t blame him if he reverted to the stereotype she’d built in her head for men.
However, she knew he wouldn’t. He never would. He shattered the mold.
Her eyes focused on him in the darkness. She was truly blown away by his beauty. He was different than past partners of hers. He was unassuming, humble, and endearingly awkward. She would have never guessed he’d be so commanding, yet generous in the bedroom. Mixed with his sweet nothings were some of the dirtiest, most erotic things she’d ever heard uttered. In one breath he’d be demanding she tell him what she wanted, and in the next, he’d be begging her for his own release. It was a give and take of emotion, one she had an equal part in.
That’s what this was. Partnership.
She frowned to herself and reached out, gently running her fingers over a dark bruise that had formed on his arm. They had gotten a little carried away and she knew she hurt him, but he kept saying it was fine. Now that his body had a chance to recuperate, she could properly see the damage she’d done. It made her stomach turn, and she was suddenly disgusted with herself. This man was everything to her and she’d hurt him, all while she’d felt nothing but mind-numbing pleasure. It reminded her that their union was unnatural, and she had no clue how it would continue. He didn’t want to be like them, and she respected that. Her last shred of selfishness longed to turn him, make him immortal so they could spend the forever and a day longer together.
Sunlight eventually bled through the cracks of the shuttered windows. She stared at the rays, the little dust particles highlighted within them. How she yearned to feel sunlight again. She had always wanted to go to the coast, to a pretty beach somewhere. Or perhaps tanning on a boat. Or a nice stroll on a hot summer day. She looked back at Sebastian, feeling, smelling life on him. She wanted to let him sleep, but she couldn’t help herself. Gently, she pressed a few kisses to each bruise she could find.
The man stirred and blearily opened his eyes. A sleepy smile spread through him as those familiar green eyes came into view. “Morning,” he mumbled groggily, his hand immediately reaching out to rest against her hip. “I’d ask how you slept, but…”
Leona smiled. Always so sweet. “How did you sleep?”
“Good,” he sighed, stretching out his body. The hungry look he received from Leona did not go unnoticed. “I’m sore,” he groaned, before sitting up. He twisted his back a little, then got up to go to the adjoining bathroom. When he did, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. His eyebrows shot up and he ran his fingers over his body. Dark bruises and scratches littered his skin. They varied in shape and size: some were like fingers where she’d held onto him, some were her clawing down his skin as she came, some were just them embracing. He looked like he’d gone ten rounds in a boxing ring and lost every time.
Leona was behind him swiftly, a sad, despondent look on her face. “Are you angry with me?”
“Why would I be angry?” Sebastian asked, turning to look at her. “Because of the marks?” She nodded. He smiled and shook his head. “No. I’m pretty sturdy,” he teased. “Shows we had a good time, I think. Judging by you screaming the walls down so much that I’m sure I can never make eye contact with my elderly neighbor again…”
Leona sighed and shoved him gently in the chest. “Not funny.”
“I promise, I’m okay. I know what I signed up for. I’m still alive, so I count this as a success,” he said, before resuming his journey to the toilet. Leona grimaced and turned away from him. He looked over at her and scoffed. “I have had my tongue in every hole on your body and this is where you draw the line?”
“Just because I love you does not mean I want to see you piss,” she said, busying herself with starting the shower up.
“Whatever,” Sebastian said. “I better acquire at least two more bruises by the end of this shower.”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
“Jesus! Sebastian, what happened to you?! Did Gideon find you?” Victor asked in concern as Sebastian and Leona walked into their home. They had tried to contact them, but hadn’t been able to reach them. Piper had suggested against going to his house, just in case.
“Oh, no,” Piper said with a knowing smirk. She was lounging sideways in an armchair, a glass filled with red liquid in her hand. “If Gideon had found them, Sebastian would be dead and Leona would be back in England. Those marks are something different,” she laughed, tilting her head back.
“I don’t understand,” Victor said in confusion.
“They fucked, Vic,” Charlotte muttered, before rolling her eyes.
“Oh,” he said, then looked at his best friend. “All that for just one night of sex? What kind of freaky shit are you into?”
“Is bedding a vampire not freaky enough?” Sebastian teased, squeezing Leona’s hand. His bruising was extensive, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. He was about as sore as he usually was after some rather rigorous exercise. He had assured her multiple times that morning that he was okay and would gladly repeat the process every night for the next 60 years.
“It’s worse with werewolves. Consider yourself lucky,” Whitney said from the other armchair.
Sebastian made a face that caused both Piper and Leona to howl with laughter. Perhaps it was the pot calling the kettle black, but he wasn’t sure he could be down with going to bed with someone who was half dog. But when it came to vampires mating with other supernatural beings, he supposed it wasn’t as strange as he thought. Luckily, he’d never have to be faced with that choice.
“Well, now that we’re all here, this is as good a time as any to tell you the news,” Piper said, standing up. “Sebastian, perhaps you should sit down,” she added, eyeing Leona closely. She knew what was coming.
Sebastian felt Leona’s hold tighten on him and he looked at his closest friends. At their apprehensive expressions, a wave of nausea washed over him. “You’ve decided?”
“Yes,” Charlotte said. “We’re doing it tonight. The sooner the better.”
Sebastian’s eyes trailed to Victor and the blonde nodded. He couldn’t help the impending sense of doom that settled into his bones. He didn’t want to be in the same room. He didn’t want to think about any of this.
“Seb,” Leona said, sensing his unease. “Let’s go take a walk in the garden, shall we?”
He followed her outside to the back. The feeling of her next to him was the only thing comforting him at the moment.
“What questions do you have?” she asked, looking up at him.
Sebastian stared ahead and plucked one of the hundreds racing through his head. “Does turning feel like the memories you showed me last night?”
“Yes, but worse,” she admitted. “I don’t think there’s any real way to convey how that feels. It doesn’t last forever. Then you don’t feel much physical pain after that, unless you provoke someone strong enough to inflict that. The emotional pain going forward is really the only discomfort you’ll feel. Or being out of control of your thirst.”
“Does thirst work the same way as it does for humans?”
“Sort of. Your throat gets dry, yes, and your stomach feels like it usually does when it’s famished. But you also have this sort of… craze take over. It’s like your brain doesn’t work and the only thing you can think of is killing. You start to feel like you’re being ripped apart after long enough. Then you grow weak. I am intimately familiar with starvation after being with Gideon.”
“How long until I get to see them again?”
“You’re going to have to stay away from them for a little while,” she explained, trying to keep her tone calm, soft, and reassuring. “But it won’t be forever. They’re going to be much better trained than I ever was. They’ll be introduced into our world properly, we’ll make sure of that. We will support them. When you turn someone, it creates a bond, as you know. But it differs. It depends on the relationship you have with the fledgling before. If you’re closer to them, then it’s much stronger — Gideon and me. But if you aren’t as close, it’s weaker, and doesn’t affect either of you as severely. However, it’s enough to still care deeply for them. Piper will likely change one and Whitney the other. It’s good they have them in their corners. There are certainly worse alternatives.
“I wouldn’t go back to how it was, Seb. I miss my family, I despise the way I was ripped from them; the way I was murdered. But… the life I’ve led so far is extraordinary. It brought me to you. Otherwise, I’d have probably died in childbirth or something equally as gruesome,” she admitted. “As I told you, the beginning was horrendous. If I had been supported properly, maybe things would have been different. I was a delinquent. Gideon only ever encouraged my feral side. I had other vampires telling me I needed to calm down. That was one of the first times I truly realized that that’s not the right way to make the most of this burden. Killing people and wreaking havoc didn’t make me feel better. Charlotte and Victor will be taught that from the beginning. You know I’d never sugarcoat anything for you, Seb.”
She knew this wasn’t exactly making the situation better, but honesty would be the most helpful right then. She could sense his tension, so she reached out and took hold of his arms, stopping him in his tracks. “Look at me,” she encouraged, knowing he was angry. “This is a decision they made a long time ago, regardless of what’s happening with us and Gideon. This is something they’ve wanted and have deeply committed to. Piper and Whitney wouldn’t even consider this if they didn’t feel that they were serious and understood the consequences. There’s very little either of us could do to change their minds,” she said. She fought back the tears as Sebastian pulled away from her. She knew he wasn’t angry at her, but it still hurt nonetheless.
Hopelessness was the main emotion that was wracking Sebastian’s body. She had tried to reassure him that they would still be his best friends, that they would still be as they were. He turned his back to her and put his hands on his hips, looking down at the ground. “I want you to know that I’m not against becoming like you because I don’t like what you are. I love you. Every part of you. But I told you I don’t fear death. I told you I made peace with it long ago. No matter how happy I am, those thoughts of despair creep in and consume me in some ways. When I die, I want to die. I want it to be over. But… I must admit that I face a dilemma I have been grappling with for several days. Eternal life with you would be the only selling point of this. But there’s no guarantee that we will be together forever. What if someone — like Gideon — takes one of us away from the other? What if you find another person…” he trailed off, sighing sadly as she immediately took him into her arms and whispered reassurances that that would never happen.
“I love you more than anything. That love is eternal, whether I am alive or not,” he said. The thought of leaving her alone in this world with him was just enough to tip him over the edge.
Leona stroked his hair and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. “Why don’t you go in there and say goodbye to them?”
So he did.