Chapter 1
Chapter One
Beck
I rip open the door to the gym, heading straight for my heavy bag.
What the hell does Sutton think she’s doing going on tour with August? She hardly even knows the guy.
It had been Sutton and I for years until that dark cloud just stormed in, stealing her from me?
I could seriously break everything in sight right now.
If I stayed there any longer and heard her spew any more nonsense, I would’ve really ruined what’s between us.
“What did that bag ever do to you?” Sloan asks as she walks into the gym.
Just great. I thought I would be alone today. Looks like luck isn’t on my side.
With Sloan in the room, I try to temper my anger so I don’t scare her—but that’s not likely.
“Don’t worry about it,” I grunt out as I slam my fists over and over again into the heavy bag.
“Well, I’m a good listener, if you want to talk. Otherwise, I’ll just be over here working on some of the techniques from class,” Sloan offers as she begins stretching.
“You wouldn’t understand.”
“You’d be surprised what I understand, Beck. I know a broken heart when I see one. And you, sir, are the victim of someone ripping yours out.”
“What did you just say?” I turn, ready to tell her to mind her own damn business until I see the haunted look in her eyes. The demons of her past are alive in her violet orbs.
I don’t know what comes over me. The need to truly know Sloan overwhelms me. The desire to know what she’s running from fuels me. For some reason I’m drawn to her.
“Let’s talk then, Little Dove,” I grunt, throwing her a pair of boxing gloves.
“Little Dove?” Sloan eyes me warily but starts to pull a glove on.
“Yes, you’re tiny like a bird and seem innocent like one too,” I offer, helping her with her gloves.
“I’m not that innocent. But we aren’t talking about me. We are talking about you and that broken heart of yours,” Sloan states quickly changing the subject.
“My heart isn’t broken,” I all but snarl and slam my fist into the heavy bag.
Sloan gasps and takes several steps away from me.
“Shit, I’m sorry, Sloan. I’m just… Sutton chose him.
Fucking August. Over me. He has nothing to offer her.
She barely knows him. Now she’s leaving all of us for some guy she just met not that long ago.
Sutton chose him over years of friendship with me.
It’s always been me and Sut. And she just decided all of a sudden, she has a different dream.
Sutton decided to go on a music tour with a nobody, throwing all of her dreams away.
That café was her baby and now she’s just handing the reins over to Quinn.
And Quinn is backing her on this,” I growl throwing several jabs into the bag.
“Let it all out. I’m going to stand over here out of the way. I am still listening though,” Sloan states, leaning on a wall several feet away from me.
“Why the hell would Quinn think that this is a good idea? Sutton rarely trusts people and she’s just going to trust this group of guys to keep her safe while she’s on the road? How is that skinny emo boy going to keep her safe?” I slam punch after punch into the bag.
“What about Khaos? Is she just going to leave her dog behind too? Is she just going to forget about us?” I throw a roundhouse kick at the bag.
I’m drenched in sweat, pacing, and about to blow smoke like a bull. I’m seeing red. Completely lost in the thoughts spiraling out of control in my head.
Why am I not good enough for her?
Have I not proven to Sut how much she means to me? I have done everything to make her feel safe and Sut still didn’t choose me.
Why didn’t she choose me?
“Beck…” Sloan’s soothing voice snaps me out of my head.
Looking up, Sloan’s pained eyes meet mine and they look so fucking haunted.
“Fuck. I’m sorry.” I squeeze my eyes closed and bury my head in my hands.
“Do you… Do you need a hug?” Sloan asks timidly.
“Yeah, Little Dove, I’d like that.” I kneel on the floor and open my arms to her.
“What are you doing?” Sloan eyes me curiously.
“I can tell you’re uncomfortable. I thought if I kneeled it would be less intimidating for you to hug me.” I shrug.
Sloan blinks rapidly at me before hesitantly walking over and wrapping her tiny arms around my neck. I pull her gently into my arms and she stiffens slightly, before softening just the slightest bit.
When she pulls out of my embrace, I sit on the floor and start stretching. Sloan sits across from me with her legs in a butterfly position.
“Beck… I’m just getting to know everyone here and the dynamics of your friendships, but I don’t think Sutton made this decision lightly.
She doesn’t strike me as someone who impulsively makes decisions.
You can tell she cares deeply for all of you.
She even welcomed me in with open arms. Sutton really sees people, not the mask we show to the world. So don’t be so hard on her.
“We are allowed to have more than one dream. We are human. We are evolving every second of every day. We are allowed to change our minds. I think she’s brave for trying something new.
For taking a leap when she has no idea what the future holds for her.
Not all women need protectors. We aren’t all damsels.
Sometimes the best things we create are made when we save ourselves,” Sloan says with such conviction.
I just stare at her at a loss for words.
That was powerful.
“I just can’t lose her, Sloan,” my voice cracks.
“I don’t think she’ll let you lose her, Beck.
I just think your relationship might look differently than you hoped.
And that’s going to hurt like hell for a while.
But eventually, when you see her shine like the star we know she is, you’ll find peace too,” Sloan declares, stretching her toes out to touch mine.
“Thank you, Little Dove.” I give her toes a gentle squeeze of appreciation.
“It’s going to be okay, Beck.” Sloan flashes me the softest smile, getting up off the floor and extending her little hand out to me.
I sure hope so, Little Dove.