Chapter 25 #2
“You don’t have to tell us everything. We don’t want you to have to relive something traumatic. But if you can at least tell us who he is or what he looks like, it might help so we can be on alert,” Asher adds gently.
“I promise you, we only want to keep you safe. We would never judge you for anything you may have had to do to get here. I’m actually really fucking proud of you that you fought and didn’t freeze earlier. Even if it was me who’s ass you kicked.” Beck goes on to say.
“You are important to us, we want to have your back if you need us. We want nothing more than for you to be able to keep yourself safe, to feel empowered as a woman again. But we also want to be an extra set of eyes to keep a look out for you,” Beck explains.
“I’m not asking to be insensitive but are we safe? We will vow to protect you always, but we should know what we’re up against. Is he just going to come after you or do you think he’ll hurt anyone to get to you? You know I watch a lot of true crime so I gotta ask,” Quinn hesitates.
“It’s okay, Q. I know you’re just worried.
Honestly, I’m not sure. I hope he wouldn’t hurt any of you.
He… James… His name is James. He never laid his hands on any of my friends from work, as far as I know, but he did manipulate our work schedule.
When James started noticing the girls were getting suspicious of the change in me, they started treating him differently.
So, he made sure we hardly worked together anymore,” I say, my heart breaking at how much I miss Kailey and Maria.
“So, does he know where you are?” Asher questions, his eyes meeting mine in the rearview mirror.
“I don’t know. I hid a bag in the woods and ran when I had the chance. I filed divorce papers and a restraining order the day before I left. I had only been using cash.”
“So why do you think James has found you?” Asher asks.
“I’ve had this weird feeling like someone is watching me.”
“How do you figure he tracked you down?” Quinn asks, but quickly answers her own question, “The plane ticket!”
I let out a deep exhale, agreeing, “The plane ticket.”
“What plane… Oh,” Beck sighs.
“Yeah, that’s the only time I used my credit card, but he had access to all of my accounts when we were together. James was very controlling.” My chest starts to feel tight just at the thought of him.
“So, you’re worried buying the ticket might’ve tipped him off to where you are?” Asher asks.
“Did you run from far?” Quinn questions.
“Ish…not super far but a few states,” I answer half-heartedly.
“Okay, so James is controlling, potentially violent, but will be more so hunting you? Not us?” Quinn asks nervously.
Chills break out on my skin out of fear of him hunting me, hunting any of us.
“Hopefully not you, definitely me. That day we went to your apartment because of the flooding, Beck, the reason I sort of panicked was because I saw a white rose on the steps. James used to leave me white roses all of the time because he grew them. I thought maybe he had found me when I saw that.”
“But that was a few weeks ago. Has anything else unusual happened?” Beck asks.
“Not really. There have been a few times when closing up the café I’ve felt like eyes were on me, but there wasn’t anyone around.
I found a rose laying on one of the bistro tables one afternoon at the end of the day.
I thought I might’ve seen white roses on a windowsill earlier when we left, up the road a bit but then they were gone.
I don’t know if my anxiety has my mind playing tricks on me or what,” I ramble.
“First of all, listen to your intuition. If you think you feel something or you see something, anxiety or not, your body is warning you. Second of all, I will kill that motherfucker. There’s gotta be a sinkhole somewhere nearby—” Quinn twists in her seat to face me, squeezing my knee.
“What’s he look like?” Asher interrupts Quinn, who looks ready to hunt James down.
“Uhh… Average height. Probably like 5’10”. Silver shorter hair. Usually, clean shaven. On the leaner side. James typically would ski and swim. Older, like 50ish,” I offer uncomfortably, wringing my hands in my shirt.
“Damn girl,” Quinn chokes out, I’m assuming at his age.
Beck reaches over and gently unwinds my hand from my shirt, threading his fingers with mine.
“It sounds like we really need to start revving up on the self-defense skills, Little Dove. More fighting, less lifting and we may need to get a couple of the athletes to help. It might be difficult for you at first. If we can mock-up scenarios in the gym with a couple different-sized guys and different ways they could potentially grab you, you’ll be more prepared especially mentally I would just worry with James having such a hold on you, that if we aren’t more aggressive in training you, you’ll just freeze up.
You need to be ready if he tries to abduct you.
You need to take that bastard down if he comes for you. ”
“I’m so tired, Beck. Tired of running. Tired of hiding. Tired of living in fear. The weight is getting to be too much.” I dip my head down, not meeting his eyes.
Beck lifts my chin, so his eyes meet mine.
“I hear you. I wish I could face your fears for you. I hope that he never finds you, but you and I both know he probably already has. And I want to be the one to protect you when that moment comes. But if he lies in wait and hunts you when I’m not there, you will know how to fight.
And you will fight like your life depends on it.
Because it does. You are powerful, Little Dove.
Don’t ever forget that. You need to see what I see.
You need to believe in yourself. Not the illusions he’s fed you. ”
“Okay,” I whisper.
“But…” Beck starts, wiping the tears from my cheeks, that I hadn’t realized were falling.
“But?” my voice cracks on the question.
“I’d really love it, if you’d let me help you carry some of that weight for you. You don’t have to do it all on your own anymore. I have you.” Beck kisses my forehead gently.
I rest my head on Beck’s shoulder. He brings his arm around me, pulling me in and holding me close to him. “Okay.”
“I’m ready. It’s time I take my life back. I’m tired of living my life always looking over my shoulder,” I agree, sinking into his strength. Allowing it to seep into my bones.
“We start tomorrow then,” Beck confirms, squeezing my hand I have resting over his heart, gently.
“Tomorrow.” I squeeze his hand back.
“For what it’s worth, I really am fucking sorry for scaring you earlier,” Beck says genuinely.
“I know you are.” I kiss just below his ear, where my head rests.