Chapter 28 #2
“Pineapples?” Knox jokes.
We all burst into laughter except for Asher, who’s once again glaring daggers at Knox. Sloan and my eyes meet.
“Interesting,” I mouth to her, raising my brows.
“I know, right,” Sloan mouths back in agreement.
The end credits of the movie are running. Everyone is fast asleep except for me.
I’m taking everything in. Sloan’s tiny breaths tickling my neck, her body tucked tight against mine.
Sutton is curled up against August on the other end of the couch with August’s arm holding her tightly to him.
Quinn is sandwiched between Asher and Knox on the floor.
Quinn’s left leg draped over Asher’s; his hand firmly placed on her thigh while his head leans against the cushions of the couch.
Quinn’s head is on Knox’s shoulder and Knox’s head rests comfortably on top of Quinn’s. Even the dogs are curled up together.
Safe. Everyone is safe.
When did we become a family? My friends have shown so much love and affection toward me, even toward each other, more than my own parents ever have—ever had.
I haven’t spoken to my father since he left when I was a teenager. But my mother and I keep in touch with each other a few times a year.
Sloan stretches out next to me on the couch, yawning, taking me out of my head.
“Ready for bed, Little Dove?” I whisper in her ear.
“Yes, please.” Sloan smiles drowsily at me.
She’s just so sweet…so beautiful. The way her dark lashes fan eyes like I’ve never seen before. They pierce my heart every time they connect with mine. How could anyone ever want to hurt her?
When did this girl steal my heart?
Scooping her onto my lap, I stand up with her in my arms, carrying her to the bathroom.
Sitting her on the bathroom sink, I put toothpaste on her toothbrush and hand it to her as we brush our teeth in a comfortable silence.
Taking a warm washcloth, I gently wash her face for her.
Sloan sinks into my hand, just letting me gently trace her face with the warm cloth.
Closing her eyes, she lets out a contented sigh.
Handing her a towel, I let her dry her face herself.
“Ready?” I ask, before hanging the towel back on the rack and scooping her back into my arms.
“Mm-hmm,” Sloan mumbles sleepily.
Sloan hits the light switch off, as I carry her out of the bathroom into the bedroom. Mayhem follows behind us, never letting Sloan out of his sight for long.
Pulling the covers back, I lay Sloan down. Mayhem hops up on the end, walking in circles before lying down against her legs. Sliding into the bed next to her, I turn the bedside lamp off, before holding her close and tucking us in.
A couple minutes pass before I break the silence. Allowing the dark to give me courage to ask her something that’s been on my mind a lot the last couple of days.
“How come you never fight me?” I ask softly.
“What do you mean? I literally punched the hell out of you yesterday.” I feel Sloan’s head tilt up toward me. She chuckles quietly.
“Not like actually fight me. Sutton… Never mind…” I start. Changing my mind because I don’t want to bring Sutton up and make Sloan uncomfortable.
“You can talk about Sut to me Beck. She was your friend before you guys tried to be something else. Sutton is still very much your friend, and now mine. We can talk about her. I didn’t mean that we couldn’t when I said I wasn’t going to be your second choice,” Sloan declares.
“If you’re sure,” I breathe into her hair.
“I’m sure. Talk to me.” Sloan gently traces circles on my chest with her finger tips.
“It’s just… Sutton used to fight me. She never wanted me to pick her up.
Didn’t really like when I did things to try and protect her or acted like a caveman as you call me.
Sut is really independent. Not saying that you aren’t because you are but you’ve never complained or told me to stop.
You just sort of let me pick you up and carry you without saying a word.
Let me wash your hair. Make you coffee.Things that I want to do to take care of you,” I mutter.
“Beckett, I spent so much of my life doing everything I could to meet this goal and then once I met that goal, I set another one that I just needed to meet. I think I was running from myself. Plowing through life to become this independent woman that didn’t need anyone but herself.
Do you know how exhausting that is? Why do I need to be that way?
What am I even trying to prove? Who am I trying to prove it to?
When is enough going to be enough? You know,” Sloan says, sighing.
“I get it. To everyone that ever let you down, you want to shove it in their face how great you’re doing without actually shoving it in their face,” I reply to her rhetorical question.
“Yeah. You’re probably right. When I met James, I think deep down I always knew he wasn’t right for me.
But everyone else thought James was so great, so perfect for me.
It just felt like the next box to check off, and once I became his wife it got so bad, so fast. All I ever wanted to do was run away.
I was constantly walking on eggshells, looking over my shoulder.
I tried to be perfect but my perfect was never enough.
His version of perfect changed every day and it was never me.
” Sloan shakes her head against my chest.
“I’m so sorry, Little Dove. Everything about you is perfect in my eyes.” I kiss her forehead.
“So, to answer your question… Why don’t I fight you?
Honestly, it’s just so nice to be able to just be with you.
To just exist with you. To feel safe with you.
I don’t have to hide. When you say you have me, I can feel it in my soul that you do.
I’m not sure when I found safety in you, but I did.
And there is no part of me that wants to fight with you or run from you.
I just want to exist in the safety of your arms. I just want to be free with you,” Sloan almost whispers her last words.
“So, if that’s accepting your caveman antics and just letting you carry me wherever your heart desires, then carry me, you shall,” Sloan tries to make a joke to cover up her vulnerability. Placing a soft kiss on my chin.
“I will carry you, for as long as you’ll let me, Little Dove.”
Sloan’s soft breaths brush my neck before I feel her lips kiss just under my ear.
“Thank you, Beckett. For always being an anchor for me. For being so kind,” Sloan whispers before she’s falling asleep in my arms.
Right where she belongs. I think before drifting off to sleep, wrapped around her like a cocoon.