Chapter 41
Chapter Forty-One
Beck
Sloan’s been gone almost two months and I miss her so fucking much.
We’ve texted and even FaceTimed a few times, but it’s just not the same.
I miss holding her. Miss talking to each other curled up in bed or on the couch at the end of the day.
Even Mayhem seems lost without her. Searching for her in every room we go in.
Running on the treadmill in the gym, I can’t help but stare at the weight bench where I had Sloan laid out for me. The pull-up bars where she trusted me to take care of her.
We had christened almost every section of this gym in the last month before she left. Now every fucking piece of equipment in this place reminds me of her.
Increasing the speed on the treadmill, I run faster. Trying to run from the thought of her.
I fell so hard for Sloan without even realizing it. Without even trying really. This shared intimacy and deep knowing of what the other needs without even having to be asked.
Sloan could’ve let me storm off when I yelled at her and I would have deserved that. But she knew what the broken pieces of me needed to hear. I might’ve lashed out at her at the time. My mind only focusing on the “you’re leaving,” but I heard her.
When I first met Sloan, she never would’ve let a man like me anywhere near her. She also would’ve never chased after me. Never would’ve stood her ground and demanded to be heard.
Every day that woman gives me a reason to be so fucking proud of her. So fucking proud to love her.
The last few weeks with her prior to her ex showing up, we were inseparable. When we cooked dinners together, our shoulders or hands were always brushing. When we worked out together, we supported and encouraged one another. We fell asleep on the couch a tangle of limbs watching tv some nights.
Sloan just fits perfectly in my life. Like the other half of my puzzle piece. Without question. There’s no second-guessing. She made it so damn easy to love her. Loving her was like breathing air––natural––you never had to think about it or question it, you just did it.
My inner beast wants to beat his chest, wrap Sloan in my arms, and keep her safe from everything. It’s an innate instinct when it comes to her.
Sloan and I were a team. Where I struggled emotionally, she was a force, my goddess of wisdom. Where she struggled physically, I always had her back, I would never let her fail. We were always teaching each other how to be better.
It was time someone showed up for her.
The second I take back my championship belt, I’ll be on a red-eye from Vegas to Boston to get my girl back.
I’m getting off of the treadmill when Asher walks out of his office.
“Are you sure you’re ready for your fight in a few weeks? You haven’t been training anywhere near as hard as you did last year to go up against Kenzo King,” Ash states a bit concerned.
“What are you trying to say, Ash?”
“I’m just making sure you’re ready. You had to take a break because of your concussion. I just want to make sure you feel ready physically and mentally.”
“I’m ready. I’ve been training every damn day since the neurologist gave me the green light. I maybe missed two months of training. I got this.” I smirk.
“Okay. I just?—”
“What is your deal? I said I’m ready!” I snap.
Asher sobers. Not even trying to argue back. “Beck, you didn’t…” Asher scratches at his head, uncomfortable.
“Obviously you were there. It happened to you, but when Kenzo knocked you out and you weren’t responding I thought you were dead, man.
Then after you didn’t wake up for a couple days.
If Sloan hadn’t been there to keep me sane, I just…
I don’t want to lose my best friend. That doctor in Vegas said if you took another bad hit or if that hit had been any closer…
” Asher shakes his head, turning away from me.
“Ash.” My voice breaks at the worry in Asher’s tone.
I didn’t realize how much my injury fucked him up. It never even crossed my mind. I’m such a dick. Ash had to witness everything while I was unconscious. If that had been me worrying about him… Fuck.
“Ash. Look at me.”
He turns to face me. A lone tear runs down his cheek, wiping it away just as quickly as it came.
“I’m so fucking sorry. I never asked if you were okay after all of this.
My head’s been so far up my own ass. I was so angry at first that I couldn’t train.
Then I became so fixated on training Sloan.
I had to know that she knew what she needed to do to keep herself safe.
I hardly remember that fight. I never considered that you’d be worried about me getting back out there,” I apologize.
“It’s okay, man,” Asher replies, trying to brush it off.
“It’s not, but I promise to do better.” I pull Ash into a quick hug.
“All right. Sloan really is rubbing off on you.” Asher chuckles, trying to break the tension.
“Real funny. But I do fuckin’ miss my girl,” I sigh.
“I was curious how you were holding up. You seem to be doing a bit better about this than you did with…” Ash cautiously states.
“What we have is different. I think it’s because Sloan said something to me that’s sort of stuck.
She said if I trust what we have and listen to my heart and not my head that I will know that she won’t be gone long.
And if she could learn to trust us after everything that asshole put her through, I can learn to trust her. ”
“Damn. Sloan’s good for you, man.” Ash pats my back.
“She really is. Now I know you’re worried about me fighting but I’m ready for my redemption,” I say, smiling a deviously grin.
“All right, then. Glove up.” Ash grabs my gloves from the floor and tosses them to me.