Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
D arkness surrounded the halls, the brief candle light flickering with each shaky step I took.
The night had fallen early, a storm on the horizon rolling over like an ominous omen. The last storm that rolled over had almost claimed my life. No one had made themselves known since that man lingered in the forest. No more attempts for my life but all those who knew the manor knew it was better to assume you could be taken at any time.
I took a step forward. The knife in my fist a welcome comfort.
The door to the library creaked as I opened it. A frigid breeze blew from the room. I shuddered quietly. Had I left the window open? Surely not, it was never opened in winter. I stepped into the room further. Walking up to the window, I noticed it was closed, the fastened locks secured tightly in place.
“Curious,” I muttered before moving to the shelves. The cold air stilled around me. My spine straightened, the feeling of someone's eyes burning into my exposed shoulders. I turned slowly, willing every ounce of confidence I could. Why did I not ask Maaier to fetch me the book? Why was I so dim when it came to my own safety lately? I didn’t even think twice about Uncle Arthur not being outside the room before I left.
I turned to the door. No one lingered. No attacker lurked in the depths of the shadows. I exhaled a heavy breath, fogging the air. I noted how strange the room felt, the frigid temperature. The cold breath still lingering. I turned back to the bookcase. Setting my candle on a small table by the lounge. Running my fingers over the volumes of books, I searched for comfort. Anything to heal the ache inside me. The turmoil of whether I would survive another night.
“Vespera,” My name whispered ever so gently in the night. My hand froze. I would know that voice anywhere. No. It can’t be.
“My sweet winter child.” Mother’s voice trembled. As if caught with emotion. I whirled to face the empty room. My heart galloped in my chest.
“Not real.” I assured myself. I couldn’t hear her. Surely it was repressed mania. Footsteps sounded down the hall. My senses strained to hear who it was.
“I am real.” The voice crying inside my head pleaded. Sadness dripped from her tone.
“You can’t be real. You died!” I hissed. A deeper fear running through me. The feeling of cold air breezed over my shoulders once more.
The footsteps become louder, drawing closer.
“Vespera?” My name echoed down the hall. My already beating heart sped up.
“In the library, Uncle Arthur,” I called back, stealing my voice from nerves.
Arthur appeared in the doorway. Still dressed from his day of work.
“Christ Vespera. It’s as cold as all hell in here. What are you doing?” He scolded, striding toward me.
“I was getting a book to read.” Hating that he made me feel like a naughty child. His strong hand gripped my wrist pulling me forward.
“You were attacked by walking the halls at night and now you think it’s safe to pursue the same halls once more? How daft can you be?” Spittle rained from his mouth as his anger rose with every syllable. His grip tightening on my arm.
“I am not daft!” I grunted whilst trying to wrench my arm free. Arthur’s grip tightened before yanking me toward the door.
“You clearly are. Now get to bed before you catch a chill.”
“Unhand me!” I seethed. Twisting my wrist every way to shake him off. Arthur’s eyes blazed with a sudden fury. He didn’t like being ordered around at the best of times. Let alone by his niece.
Just as Arthur opened his mouth to retort, a harsh wind flooded the room. The light from the candle extinguishing with it. Arthur’s grip loosened as a certain fear washed over him.
A curse fell from his lips. Terror ran through me. Where did that wind come from if the windows were fastened close? I stepped past Arthur, hurrying back up the stairs to my room.
Only I didn’t make it that far. Stopping instead outside Victor’s room. Without bothering to knock. I shoved my way in. The room was dark apart from one window allowing a sliver of moonlight. The room was the smallest among the manor residents. Big enough for one average size bed, a wardrobe and a desk. Marble floors and dark walls matching the other rooms. The room once used as a nursery, now only used for guests of lower social class. Arthur’s voice grunted before disappearing back down to his wing of the manor. My back still pressed against the wall as I counted the seconds until he was gone.
Victor grunted from the bed. I took a shaky step forward. Not wanting to wake him. The sound of the door opening going unnoticed by him signalling a deep slumber. He grunted again. My brow furrowed. Was he having a night terror? ‘ Oh the poor soul! ’ I noted to myself softly before stepping forward. My long hair falling in pieces from its loose braid. In the dim light, I noticed a small movement under the blanket. I crept forward. Victor moved under the blanket. I continued forward so I could see his face. His expression purely blissful. Eyes closed but still flickering as if in a dream. Maybe it wasn't a nightmare. What a strange dream he must be having. His mouth opened into a slight o shape, a single word falling from his lips. “Vespera.”
“Yes?” I answered softly. Not wanting to startle him.
Victor gasped loudly. Jumping from the bed. Obviously startled. He stood before me. His chest rising and falling. My mouth opened to apologise. Only to close as my eyes took in his form. His hands covered his body as he struggled to regain himself. I looked at his hands, noticing the erection behind them. My cheeks flushed warmly. My whole body heating. That was not what I was expecting by any means.
“Oh my god!” I gasped. The words falling from my lips, embarrassment flooded me. “I am so sorry.”
“Don’t you know how to knock!” He breathed. My embarrassment had nothing on his. The awkwardness radiating from him. I could only just make out the shape of his body as he stepped back into the shadows. My cheeks still on fire.
“Of course I do! But I was trying to get away from Arthur and I wanted to ask you a question about a person's health after an attack and their mind and I just let myself in and I didnt know what you were doing and I thought it was night terror and I-”
“Vespera breathe!” Victor cut off my flustered rambling.
I finally turned away offering him the privacy to dress himself.
“I really am sorry, Victor. I will leave you be.”
“After that Vespera. I don't think I am ever going to be able to sleep in peace again,” He muttered. But his tone missed the bite the words intended. The sound of him sitting back on the bed echoed through the room. I turned to face him, rolling my eyes.
“Oh come on, Victor. I may be a virgin but I understand that one needs to pleasure themselves.”
Victor cocked a brow at me before looking ahead. I looked up to where his gaze fell. A portrait hung above the desk. My mother’s smile beamed down at us. Her body covered in flowers of all kinds. The likeness to myself was uncanny.
“You’re a virgin?” Victor asked cautiously. I nodded, not saying anything further.
If Maaier and I’s relationship continued to progress as it was, I wouldn't be one for much longer. At least I hoped anyway.
“And if it was that picture you used for inspiration, that was my mother. Adele.”
Victor stilled. His expression sobered. “That isn't you?” He said, a slight tremor of disgust in his tone.
“No.” I laughed. “That would have been most strange for my uncle to hang a portrait of a woman your boss wants you to court over your bed.”
Victor groaned at himself. Scrubbing a hand over his weary face. The poor flustered and confused boy.
“Now that I have seen you most awkwardly in this moment, Victor. One would presume we are now the best of friends. And the best of friends share secrets, and you my friend are in for one hell of a story.”
The words fell out of me. The need to tell someone everything overcame my better judgement. I didn’t truly know who Victor was but inside I felt as if I could trust him. I knew within myself he was safe. At least I hoped anyway.
Divulging the weight of my family secret was like shedding a mountain of weight off my shoulders. Victor listened intently. Not saying a word or interrupting despite the questions I could see forming behind his eyes. To see if I could determine the truth from the lies.
“So you can’t see colour when I touch you?” Victor said. A slight sadness in his tone he tried to keep hidden seeping through.
I shook my head. “No. But to be frank, Victor. I never really wanted to see it. I am fine without it but I would be fine with it. I don’t need a soulmate to fix any so-called broken part of me. I need to learn to fix myself before placing the broken pieces in the hands of another. I don’t see the colour as a broken or missing piece of me. It just is what it is. It’s who I am.” I shrugged, the confession feeling lighter off my chest.
Victor nodded, taking my hand in his. I stilled at his touch. Not knowing how to react.
“You said you had questions?”
“I did.” I smiled before facing him fully. Bracing for the rejection. “Have you ever heard of people seeing ghosts after they almost die themselves?”
“It has been noted in some diaries but there is no factual information behind it. Are you experiencing this?”
I nodded. His hand squeezed mine. “We will monitor it and if these hallucinations get worse, we can treat them then.” I let out a sigh of relief at his words. They weren’t ghosts! Rather just a figment of my imagination.
“Thank you for telling me all of this and entrusting me,” He said softly.
“Thank you for listening. I will see you at breakfast.” I stood, walking toward the door. “I truly am sorry I am not the one for you, Victor.”
“I know. Me too.” He smiled sadly. My heart cracked in my chest. The tension rolling from my shoulders. I turned to leave before stopping suddenly.
“One last thing,” I said.
I walked up to the portrait hanging on the wall. My hands ran along the sides of the huge frame. I pushed it off the hook. The painting fell into my arms.
“Best not let Mother watch you sleep. Or whatever else you plan to do when I am gone.” I winked over my shoulder before exiting the room.
I didn’t know where this new found confidence came from but I was grateful it was here.