Chapter 11
I dropped my hand from Kade’s shoulder as though fire ignited within me, burning from the inside out.
Every protocol flew from my mind as I walked away from him without even curtsying. Fleeing to the safety of Kalliah’s side along the far-right wall, she grasped my hand, her eyes wide in wonder. The music began again, and people returned to their conversations and merriment. Kade, who had stood silently observing me walk away, had disappeared.
I caught a few murmurs through the crowd at the obvious way we’d stayed together after the music stopped. What on earth had I been thinking?
“Need a cold shower?” Kalliah snorted before she burst into laughter.
My head snapped toward her. “It’s not funny. More like awful, I thought I would never have to see his arrogant ass again.”
“Oh, Lana, ‘awful’ is not the word I think anyone would use,” Kalliah countered. “He’s even sexier than I imagined from when you described him.”
“I did not describe him as sexy,” I hissed.
She always saw right through me. She handed me a cup of lemon-infused water, and I tilted it back, finishing in one gulp, wishing for something much stronger.
“More importantly than Kade, what did Leif have to say?” I asked.
Kalliah frowned. “Nothing of importance.”
It was my turn to laugh, as I set my cup down on the round serving tray passing by. “Liar.” I stood next to her at the wall. “I saw you. If I hadn’t been trapped on the dance floor, I would have been able to see what happened when you put your hand on our dear, innocent Leif’s chest.”
“Does it matter?” Kalliah scoffed.
“I’m just wondering.” I tugged at her arm. “Are you all right?”
“I don’t know anything about him. Nor do I care to. He said something about a message for Ian. I can’t recall.” She turned her head away from me.
Kalliah was more reserved with her emotions more than Ian and I. I knew when to tease her and when she wanted space, and right now for some reason, she wanted space.
Valuing someone meant honoring their boundaries, and while she had many, they were worth recognizing.
I changed the subject, desperate to appear busy enough with her so I wouldn’t be stolen away again. “Did you know what Ian was planning?”
She sucked in a breath. “No,” she said. “Not at all. But are you surprised? He’d die for you. What’s a marriage?”
“Kalliah, he’s like my brother. You do know what married people are expected to do , right?” I stared straight into her green eyes, hoping she understood my hesitancy.
She laughed again. “Well, you certainly are entertaining this evening. If you think you’ll convince him otherwise, you’ve lost it.”
“I have to try.” I rubbed my arms, cooler now since I wasn’t on the dance floor, spinning and surrounded by bodies. Or perhaps it had more to do with coming down from the high of dancing with my last partner, specifically.
“You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t say that,” Kalliah said softly. “He left toward the barracks. I’m sure you can catch him.”
I squeezed her arm. “Thank you.”
Regardless of what happened in the coming months, one of us had to live a life of freedom. Since it sure as hell couldn’t be me, I refused to give up until I convinced Ian it would be him.
Even if I hadn’t planned to hunt down Ian, I endured enough revelry and attention for one night. I had done my duty. Danced and smiled, and with the amount of wine and drink flowing freely, at this point I’d hardly be missed.
I quickly scanned the throne room. For once this evening, not one Fae paid any attention to me. If I wanted to escape unnoticed, I had to do it now.
Moving along the outer walls, I continued toward one of the doors, walking slowly without any sudden movements so I wouldn’t bring any attention to myself. An exit to one of the smaller, lesser-used, staff hallways, lay just within reach. It would be an escape allowing me to move unseen through the palace.
I slipped through the large, wood-framed door and closed it quietly behind me. The short corridor ahead would pop me out into one of the main passages in the palace. One with vast windows and ledges to sit on every few steps. The design of the palace, and everything inside of it, allowed us to view the beauty of nature.
Footsteps clopped behind me before I could leave the servants’ corridor. Bleeding hell, it better not be one of the contenders.
Unfortunately, it was worse.
The Royal Seer, Vivienne Nazar, stood with her head tilted to the side, staring at me while appearing lost and confused. Although the same age as my mother, her body revealed more signs of wear.
Her wiry grey hair could never be tamed with all the random kinks and curls throughout. She often wore robes, only found centuries ago, always declining the new styles and fabrics the king offered.
“Going, going, gone, so soon, are we, Lana?” she questioned.
“Yes, I needed some air,” I said. “It was starting to feel stuffy.”
“The umbra isn’t always a blight. No, no.” She shook her head and then smiled. “Not with the right blaze.”
I stared back, placating her with the kindest smile I could muster. We had all learned over the years the best way to deal with Vivienne is just to let her talk and prattle. Apparently, ever since she made the prophecy ruling my entire life, nothing she said made much sense, with everything coming out in riddles. Every once in a while, she would have moments of clarity, but they were rare.
“I will be sure to keep it in mind, Vivienne. Have a good night.” I backed up a few paces and veered down the hall before she could say anything else and trap me there even longer with her nonsense. I couldn’t even be sure if she noticed I left as she toyed with the fraying ties of her robes.
Ian hadn’t made it too far from the throne room. As soon as the small hallway door dumped me out into the main corridor, I found him, staring out the largest window in the hall, his foot perched on the bench beneath it, hands resting on his hips. He appeared stoic in the moment, still in a way he usually wasn’t.
He noticed me and I caught his shoulders sag slightly.
Lifting my hands in surrender, I offered a small smile. “I don’t want to fight.”
His lips twitched and he returned his focus to the window, shaking his head. “After everything we’ve been through, I find I’m frustrated you don’t understand I take protecting this kingdom, and you, very seriously.”
“I know you do?—”
“Lana,” Ian said, facing me. “What is so hard for you to grasp? I promised you I’d never leave.” Loyalty and stubbornness swirled in his eyes. “I swore it as a boy, and I have worked hard to never break your trust or falter in my promise. Don’t you remember?”
I did remember. I remembered being a lonely child. Lonely and scared I had no magic while everyone around me did. Fearful adults who should have been trustworthy had instead thought my lack of magic needed to be fixed by any means necessary.
Ian had been with me throughout the aftermath of all my “training sessions” growing up, picking up the pieces from the torture I endured for years. Holding me in the dark while I cried in his arms. Making sure Elisabeth remained close if I needed a sleeping potion for the nightmares plaguing me.
When the potions didn’t chase away all the fears, Ian never left, holding onto me and promising me he’d never leave.
He stayed. He soothed. Despite the years of respite after the torture in the cells beneath the castle ended, he never made me feel as if I were a burden.
Because of his unwavering support, I couldn’t take this away from him. He’d given enough of himself, enough of his life, to me already.
“You’ve already sacrificed your childhood protecting me, Ian. I don’t want to watch you give up your future, too.”
He frowned, turning as he cupped my cheek, brushing his thumb along my face. “We were both lonely children and needed each other. Caring for my best friend wasn’t a sacrifice. It never will be.”
What could I say to make him hear me? Panic gripped me. He was so damn stubborn.
“The rumors are bad enough, you were handed your position because you’re ‘sleeping’ with me, Ian. They’ll doubt even more how hard you’ve worked, and I hate it,” I said, touching his arm when he dropped his hands from my face.
Ian smiled down at me, shaking his head. “I don’t care what any of them think. My duty to protect you extends to this as well, and unless there’s someone worthy in the trials who captures your attention, then I’ll win and that will be that.”
I wrinkled my nose, growing agitated. “What about someone worthy of you?” I asked. “What if a few years into this you meet your mate?”
“My mate?” Ian burst into laughter. “You’re the only person I know who even believes in mates anymore.”
I glared at him, defensiveness welling inside me on top of the already-rising tide of desperation.
His gaze softened. “Mates haven’t existed in thousands of years. Only a few Fae have ever come close to feeling that inexplicable pull of true love. Even the king and queen had an arranged marriage. Waiting for a mate would be a lonely existence.”
Arguing with him would get me nowhere, so I had to go back to something more tangible.
“And what about not being unable to be Captain of the Guard and?— “
Ian shoved off the ledge and walked away from me. “It’s done, Lana. I've officially entered the trials. The conversation is over.”
We rounded a corner to a split staircase, one leading down to the barracks, one up to the guest wing. I had to jog to catch up.
“You can’t walk away from me, please don’t do this,” I shouted, perhaps a tad too loud.
Ian held up his hand and flung it back down, instantly looking defeated. “Let this go. There’s nothing you can say to change it, and I won’t keep arguing with you. We’ve fought enough.”
He jogged down the steps, leaving me behind as I let out a defeated cry.
I grabbed the skirt of my dress, frustrated at how the layers slowed me down and jerked them to the side. Whirling around, I ran into a hardened chest, which seemingly materialized out of nowhere.
“Tits and daggers!” My hand flew to my mouth in fright, my heart pounding.
A deep chuckle vibrated through me as I stepped back.
“Hello, Little Rebel,” Kade murmured, a devastatingly beautiful smile tugging at his lips.
My gaze met his, but I kept the shock of Kade using my pet name as the Hidden Henchman from my face. I refused to let on that he was right and somehow managed to maintain a straight face. “I’m sorry, you must have mistaken me for one of those other women you have conquered in your tours of Brookmere. If you’ll excuse me, sir, I will be going.”
I went to move around him, and he softly placed his hand on my shoulder.
“I didn’t think you were one to lie,” he said. “Although, your interest in my conquests is intriguing.”
“In your dreams.”
Kade moved closer to me, removing the space I’d created moments before. “I think after our dance, it’s in your dreams.” He stretched, making a big show of his height. “I was merely enjoying the view before retiring for the evening. It’s been a busy night.”
He strode past me and leaned against the windowpane, acting as if he had been doing it all along.
I should have walked away. Instead, I wanted to use the moment alone to learn why the hell he showed up tonight. After all, why would he willingly attempt to marry into the royal family, when he clearly despised us?
“Why did you enter the trials, Kade? Surely you can’t be so desperate to find a woman. There were plenty who looked like they’d give you anything you wanted in the ballroom tonight for a mere dance. They’d do even more to be your wife.”
His lips twitched as he studied me, eyes sparking with interest. “You noticed other women watching me? That almost sounds jealous.”
“If you can get your arrogant head out of your ass, maybe you can answer the question,” I retorted, undeterred.
He ran a hand over his jaw. “I think I’d look good in a crown,” he said and shrugged. “Or maybe it’s something else.” A tingle down my arms kept me on edge. My eyes narrowed on the power exuding from him as I stood in his presence. The night seemed to adore him as much as the women in the ballroom. I’d have sworn the edges of darkness in the hall caressed his body.
“My reasons are my own, but probably somewhat similar to everyone else. Power, wealth”—He looked me up and down with a needy sort of desire—“all those benefits.”
My cheeks heated, this time not only with my own desire as I struggled to maintain my composure. “Ah, yes, focused on power, even though it’s my name which would grant it to you. Me, the daughter of the king you so vocally despised the last time we were together, claimed by you as a damn trophy.” The absolute arrogance and his presumptuous nature of claiming me and this kingdom, akin to a piece of meat at the slaughterhouse, drove me mad.
“Claiming what’s mine would be, in fact, one of the rewards, yes.” He inched closer to me, and the tingling spread even further, enveloping me almost completely.
I swear, beating my body into submission to rid myself of the ridiculous way it responded to him needed to happen sooner rather than later.
I shifted, attempting to still the warmth coursing through me at his presence. “I’d have to be willing, and you’re far from getting that benefit,” I spat back.
“And yet you’re still here, talking to me.” He shifted himself to block my escape down the hall toward my chambers.
I straightened. “I’ve had enough revelry for one evening and am retiring to my own room. As you recall, you had nothing to do with me coming out here.”
“Yes, your little sidekick may have drawn you out here,” he said. “But you’re still standing here now because you’re intrigued by me. I have that effect on people.”
Kade grinned again, unable to wipe the smile fully from his face the entire time we talked, or fought, or whatever it was we were doing. He moved from the window, taking a step toward me, and reached out, gripping my chin, tilting it up to have a full view of my face.
My breathing grew sharp at his touch. “Men always think cockiness is sexy,” I stated, pulling my chin from his grasp, but I didn’t back down. I looked straight into his eyes, unyielding. “How wrong they are.”
His gaze went to my lips, his mouth partly opened, and he stared momentarily before meeting my eyes again. “I’ll enjoy taking my time making you fall to your knees before me, Little Rebel.”
I shuddered, and not with disgust like I wanted to. He couldn’t win this verbal spar. I brought my hands to his chest, letting them linger while trying to ignore the strength I felt beneath my touch.
“Don’t you worry about my knees, Kade,” I said. I stood on my tiptoes then, running my hand over his chest before wrapping it around the back of his neck. I pressed my body against his, trying to keep my wits about me. I’d have the last say here. My lips lightly brushed against his ear as I whispered, “The only thing falling will be you, onto my sword.”
I took three paces back, confidently twirling my body before I threw him a wink over my shoulder. Then, I strutted up the stairs to get as far away from Kade Blackthorn as possible before I did something stupid.
Something like lingering in the dark corridor to see more of his damn sexy grin on his face as I left.