Chapter 2
Chapter Two
Josie’s Howl List—February
Shelly appeared in her yard as Josie waved goodbye to Tommy.
Miracle of miracles, Tony had shown up on time to pick up their son.
Apparently she truly had sparked a bit of jealousy in her ex-husband when he saw her dressed up for her night out last month.
Since then, he’d been arriving on time and feigning nonchalance while asking about her week, her plans.
She’d shut him down every time, making obscure comments and leaving him to wonder what she was getting up to.
She was sort of ashamed of the petty part of her that liked tweaking her ex.
Of course, sadly, since her full moon with Jake, all she’d really been up to was work, wine nights with the girls and building Lego models with Tommy. But Tony didn’t need to know that.
And while doing all those mundane things, she constantly relived her night with Jake.
Twice, she thought she’d seen him on the street, but she’d been mistaken.
She had even driven by Blue Moon on three occasions, somehow convincing herself she was taking a quicker route to the grocery store.
Each time, she slowed down, hoping to catch a glimpse of him.
Had she built him up in her mind? Made him seem hotter than he really was?
Did it matter?
She was still grinning when Shelly climbed the three stairs to her small front porch. “What’s that smile about?”
Josie laughed and led Shelly into the house.
It was full-moon weekend and Shelly was coming along for the ride.
Josie decided her friend needed a night out.
Shelly had been working too many hours overtime at the bank.
Apparently the powers that be had decided to revamp their entire software program and since Shelly was part of the IT department, a lot of the work was falling to her.
Besides, Josie was hoping for some moral support as she attempted to mark another item off her Howl List. She’d been very fortunate on the first go-round and she was praying that luck held.
It was that good fortune that convinced her to return to Blue Moon even though she knew it was probably a bad idea.
Josie tried to tell herself she was simply returning because it was a nice place that catered to patrons around her age, but that reason was a lie. She wanted to see Jake again.
“New shirt?” Josie asked.
Shelly nodded. “Yep. Mine were starting to hang a bit. Thank God.”
“You look fantastic, by the way. How much weight have you lost?”
Shelly was working hard on her second-chance goal. She’d stuck to her diet and joined a local gym. The crazy woman had even signed up for a kickboxing class.
“I’m down another five. Brings me to twenty-two total. It’s a drop in the bucket in terms of how much I need to lose, but at least the scale’s going down, not up. Now, no more dodging. Why were you grinning like the Cheshire Cat when I got here?”
Josie gestured to the second floor. “Come upstairs with me while I finish doing my makeup and I’ll tell you.”
Shelly nodded and followed her up, then put the lid down on the toilet and made herself comfortable.
Josie picked up her mascara. “I don’t think Tony likes the idea of me going out.”
Shelly tilted her head in annoyance. “So what? He gave up the right to give a shit when he signed his name on those divorce papers.”
“Oh, I know that. It just feels good to get under his skin. I really think that arrogant idiot thought I was going to spend the rest of my life sitting in this townhouse, crying over him.”
Shelly picked up a tube of lipstick, testing the color on her hand. “Then good. I’m glad he’s irritated. Serves him right.”
Josie brushed some blush on her cheeks. She’d wanted to talk to Shelly since her last night out, but between Shelly’s long hours and the fact that Tommy was almost always within earshot, she hadn’t had a chance.
“I’m feeling better than I have in a long time.”
Shelly frowned. “I didn’t know you were feeling bad.”
Josie lifted one shoulder dismissively. “I don’t mean I was depressed or anything. I just mean I’m feeling more hopeful about my future.”
“What was wrong with your future?”
Shelly had always sort of idolized Josie. And Josie had never bothered to correct her friend’s mistaken assumptions because Shelly’s belief in her made her feel stronger than she really was.
Problem was, lately, she was tired of hiding, of pretending to be something she wasn’t.
“I didn’t leave Tony.”
Shelly stopped putting on the lipstick and stared at her. “What do you mean?”
“He left me.”
“But I thought you said after you found out he was having an affair, you filed for divorce.”
Josie looked down at the sink and forced herself to tell a truth she’d hidden from her friend for nearly two years.
Shame had kept her quiet. “No. He confessed to the affair and moved out. And I actually fought with him, asked him to stay. I thought maybe we could work things out. I figured we’d go to counseling, I’d forgive him for the affair, he’d swear to never see that woman again and all would be well. ”
“Why would you do that?”
Josie bit her lower lip. “Tommy. My parents divorced when I was young and I swore I’d never put my kid through that.”
“So you’d put up with a cheating husband?”
“No. Hell no. The affair would have had to stop. I couldn’t live with that, but…” Josie paused, trying to figure out how she could explain. Shelly’s parents were still married—happily married—after thirty years.
“But what?” Shelly prodded.
“It’s different when there’s a child involved. If it had just been me and Tony, and he’d cheated on me, I would have kicked his ass out in a New York minute. I would have tossed all his shit out on the lawn, changed the locks and never looked back. But I couldn’t do that because of Tommy.”
“Tommy loves his dad.”
Josie nodded. “So much. And Tony, for all his faults—and believe me, he has a ton—loves Tommy. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my son.”
“Even if it meant living with a philandering husband?”
Josie rubbed her forehead. “I hope to God I would have been strong enough to dump him if the affair continued.”
“You don’t think you would have?”
“I don’t think he only had one affair.”
Shelly frowned. “What?”
“There were other women. I never caught him and he never confessed as much, but…yeah, I’m sure there were others.”
“I’m sorry, but I still don’t think you would have put up with the cheating forever. You have too much self-respect for that.”
Josie glanced at her reflection in the mirror, then looked away, not liking the woman looking back at her. “I never got the chance to find out, did I? Tony packed up. He left us. Despite the fact I begged him to stay.”
Shelly stood up. “You are tough, Josie. I’m not sure what’s shaken you up lately, caused you to doubt yourself, but I hope you figure out the truth soon.”
“What truth?”
“That you’re one of the most amazing women I’ve ever met.”
Josie swallowed hard against the lump in her throat, touched by her friend’s love and loyalty. “I’m not sure why I told you all that. Or I guess I should say I don’t know why I didn’t tell you before.”
Shelly smiled. “No one likes to admit weakness. And I think it’s worse for you because you are so strong.
You went against everything you believed in because you thought it was in Tommy’s best interest. You were willing to swallow your pride because of your love for your son.
That’s nothing to be ashamed of. God, every child should be so lucky. ”
Josie hugged Shelly, trying not to cry. While her friend’s words had smoothed some rough edges, Josie still couldn’t dismiss the idea that she’d been wrong. Even so, she said, “Thank you.”
Shelly pulled away first and pointed to the lipstick. “Does this look okay?”
“It looks great. Ready to go?” Josie asked.
Shelly nodded.
Josie was grateful for Shelly’s company. She was able to hold the nervousness she’d felt when they left her house at bay. Without Shelly in the car, she would have turned around and returned home, hating herself for being a coward.
“You still on for Thursday’s wine night? I think poor Zoey’s going to need a couple bottles all to herself.” Shelly said.
Josie nodded. “I wouldn’t miss it.” They talked about Zoey’s recent, unexpected breast cancer diagnosis as they drove to the bar.
Then they came up with a list of ways they could help their friend as she went through chemo.
Shelly helped Josie finish composing a poem for her friend—one she hoped would make Zoey laugh.
God knew the woman could use some humor these days.
By the time they reached their destination, Josie was ready for a drink.
“Blue Moon?” Shelly asked as Josie pulled into the parking lot and turned off the car.
She was an idiot for coming back here, but she wanted to see Jake again.
Wanted to convince herself that the first time was simply beginner’s luck and that he wasn’t as hot as she remembered.
Maybe if she saw him one more time, she’d see it had been a fluke.
She needed to stop fantasizing about him so she could move on to the next item on the list without comparing every future man to Jake.
“Yeah. Seems like the perfect place to howl.” After unloading all her baggage about Tony, Josie simply didn’t have any energy left to fill Shelly in on the particulars of her first full-moon adventure.
Shelly laughed. “I think you’re right.”
Rather than head to the bar, Josie walked to a table in a corner near the dance floor. Now that she was here, she was nervous about running into Jake again. They’d gotten a late start, so the place was already packed. She prayed the crowd would hide her until she got her nerve up to look for him.