Chapter 7 #3
“I haven’t seen Tony drunk in years. I mean he’s no stranger to the bar scene, but he usually has a beer or two and that’s it.”
“I think it’s finally sinking in that he’s lost you for good.
That might have been easier for him to take if the girlfriend had kept him around.
From what you’ve said about the two of you getting married out of high school, then Tony moving in with that other woman, this is the first time your ex has ever been alone. ”
Josie hadn’t considered that. She remembered something her mother had said shortly after Tony left her.
Mom said, “A monkey doesn’t let go of one branch until he’s got a firm grip on another one.
” It was the only time she’d ever heard bitterness in her mother’s voice and she realized how much her mom had shielded from her after her dad left.
Tony was a monkey in free-fall. He’d lost Josie and Janice and now he was terrified of losing his son. “Yeah. No wonder he’s such a mess.”
For that reason, and that one only, she decided to cut him some slack for making such an ass of himself tonight.
“Should I leave?” Jake asked. “Tommy seemed pretty upset.”
Josie considered his request, then shook her head. “No. I was hoping you’d come inside. Maybe help me calm the waters.” She needed Jake’s support and strength. She was tired of doing everything on her own.
Jake’s face lit up. “I’d love to stay.” He took her hand and they walked in the townhouse together. Tommy was staring at the TV, zombie-fashion, and Josie doubted he was seeing much. He was too tired from a full day in the sun and confused by his father’s drunken outburst.
“Hey, sweet pea.” Josie sank onto the couch next to him.
He proved exactly how upset he was when he crawled onto her lap.
He’d always used to love cuddles, but as he got older, she noticed he tried to shrug off her hugs goodbye at school, wanting to appear a big boy in front of his friends.
“Well, that was certainly an exciting day.”
“Is Daddy okay?” The sadness in Tommy’s voice was almost Josie’s undoing.
“He’s fine, baby. It’s just going to take him some time to get used to the way things are now.”
“You mean with Jake?”
Josie nodded. “And without Janice. I think he’s sort of sad about everything right now.”
“I could make him a card. Maybe that would cheer him up.”
Josie kissed the top of her son’s head. “I think that’s a great idea. Tell you what. First thing tomorrow, you can draw something for him and I’ll drive you over there to deliver it. He’ll love it.”
“Okay.” Tommy sounded relieved now that they had a plan. Josie envied the ease with which problems could be solved in the six-year-old world. Make a card and everything was hunky-dory.
“But, for now, I think it’s time for bed. It’s been a very long day.”
Tommy got off her lap, not bothering to put up a fight or to beg to stay up later. He was well and truly pooped. “Can Jake read me a story tonight?”
“Yeah. He can. Go get in your pajamas, brush your teeth and yell down when you’re ready.”
Tommy climbed the stairs slowly, his usual bounce giving way to exhaustion.
Jake dropped down on the couch next to her. “You’re a good mom.”
“I’m a tired mom.”
Jake laughed. “That’s just the sun. Why don’t you take a shower while I read Tommy his story, then I’ll come tuck you in.”
“I think that might be the best offer I’ve ever gotten bedroom-wise.”
Jake covered his heart as if she’d slain him. “Damn. Here I am knocking myself out to fulfill all your wildest fantasies and all I had to do was tuck you in?”
Josie cupped Jake’s cheek, holding his face close to hers. “I honestly don’t know how I survived a day without you. I’m not sure I’ve ever said this, but thank you. For everything.”
Jake ran his hand through her hair. “You don’t really need me. You were doing fine on your own. Even so, I’m glad you scooted over and made some room for me in your life. I didn’t realize how boring my days were until you and Tommy came along. I feel like I should be thanking you.”
His words soothed the tiny worried part of her that feared he would decide she was too much hard work and leave.
She wasn’t sure how long it would take for that anxiety to go away.
Maybe never. She’d watched her mother struggle in relationships for years, always waiting for the other shoe to fall.
Sometimes she wondered if her mother had driven her first two boyfriends away because she’d been unable to believe anyone would ever stick around forever.
Josie was determined to fight that demon, to beat it into submission. She didn’t want to lose Jake because she was too scared to take another chance with her heart. Somehow, she’d have to overcome this worry because he was too precious, too important to her.
Jake stood and pulled her up. They climbed the stairs together. Josie listened to Jake read Tommy a silly story about a Siamese cat who wanted to be a Chihuahua. Jake adopted different voices for all the characters and soon Tommy was squealing with laughter.
For the first time in a long time, Josie felt at home. At peace. Hopeful.