Chapter 1 #2
‘Oh, my God.’ Sierra took one step away and then immediately spun back around.
She could see by the looks on both of their faces that there was no point in arguing.
Her frantic mind started making a list of everything they would need to make a wedding happen in just two weeks.
The flowers and the cake – both of which they’d have to pay exorbitantly for given the short notice.
Chairs, tables, and the dance floor they could borrow from the resort.
Food and beverages. Décor. Suits! Dresses!
And that was on top of her seasonal holiday work at the resort.
Her mind spun.
‘Oh, God. I need to sit down.’ Sierra plonked on the top step and pulled out her cell phone.
She opened her Evernote app, started a new note and then simply dumped everything flying through her thoughts for later organizing.
‘We’ll have to find a dress that doesn’t need a ton of alterations.
With your sizing that’s going to be difficult; wedding dress samples typically sit at an eight or ten – what are you, a two? ’
‘Easy,’ Nina replied dreamily. ‘Hell, I’ll wear jeans if I have to.’
Sierra abruptly stopped typing. ‘No. I’m drawing the line there. It may be your wedding, but we’re still going to do it properly, white dress non-negotiable.’ Nina opened her mouth to argue, but Sierra only held up one finger, cutting her off. ‘I’ll tell Markus.’
It was a threat if ever one existed. Markus Johnson, Nina’s fabulous best friend and renowned Los Angeles brand photographer, was the epitome of grace – and sass. He’d never let Nina look anything less than stunning on her wedding day – and Nina knew it as well as Sierra did.
Nina frowned but her lips twitched with a smile. ‘You’re mean.’
‘You’ll thank me when you look back at the photos,’ Sierra said, unoffended. She bent back over her phone, started asking Nina the important questions. ‘What colour scheme do you want?’
‘I don’t really care. Nothing gaudy or too bright.’
Sierra studied Nina thoughtfully. ‘You’ll be in white, but with your dark hair, I think the wedding accent colours should be dark and bold. Olive green or a burnt orange.’
‘Orange?’
‘Here.’ Sierra googled ‘burnt orange ranch wedding colours’ and held up the images for Nina to look at.
Nina’s dark eyes softened. ‘Oh, I love this one.’ Reaching out she tapped the screen on a fall-themed wedding spread.
‘Or,’ Sierra offered, ‘you could embrace the season and go with a wintery, Christmas theme?’ She revised the Google prompt, pulled up a new set of pictures with an entirely different aesthetic.
‘White lilies, red roses, Douglas fir. Olive green and dark, port-coloured accents? Us girls with white, faux fur stoles over our dresses.’
Nina looked suddenly bewildered. ‘You’re giving me too many options.’
‘This is why people typically take more than two weeks—’
‘Stop.’ The single word came from Benji.
All eyes turned to him.
He shifted restlessly from foot to foot, but his eyes stayed focused on Nina. ‘You know what you want. Don’t let her bully her.’
Sierra bit off her retort, which would have come out angry and bitter.
She knew she was being aggressive and pushy, but only because her work at the resort had educated her on what planning a wedding entailed.
It was brutal for people who gave themselves an entire year to plan.
And as much as Nina and Maverick wanted simple, Sierra still wanted them to look back and have no regrets. She wanted it to be perfect. For them.
Perhaps sensing her restraint, Nina reached out one hand and squeezed Sierra’s arm. ‘I really do like them both.’
‘But?’ Maverick prompted.
‘It didn’t occur to me until I saw the pictures, but don’t you think we should keep it Christmas themed for Poppy? It’s going to be Christmas Day, and she’s only five.’
Mav’s smile could have melted the coldest of hearts, and Sierra’s was no exception. She actually smiled when her brother replied, ‘God, I love you,’ and leaning sideways, kissed Nina deeply despite his audience.
The moment he moved away, Nina, still flushed, said, ‘Christmas theme it is.’
Sierra nodded. ‘I’ll put together some mood boards today, and you can pick and choose what you like. By tomorrow, we need to start placing orders. It’s going to be a rush. Oh, and on Saturday we’re going dress shopping.’
Nina laughed anxiously. ‘I feel like I’ve made a grave error in judgement.’
‘I’ll pull it off,’ Sierra said, her tone determined.
‘I know – that’s what I’m worried about,’ Nina quipped.
Sierra grinned. It was so easy with Nina, who was kind and sweet and had a sense of humour that jumped out when a person was least expecting it.
After everything she had been through, Nina should have been bitter and cold.
Like Sierra. But the fact that she wasn’t – not even close – was just one of the reasons that Sierra was happy that Nina and her brother had found one another.
They were both so strong, so able to weather the storms together.
When the thought had her fighting her urge to look back at Benji, Sierra stood, and left with, ‘I’ll call Markus.’ Because God knew she’d need his help.
Benji watched Sierra walk away. He hadn’t meant to snap at her.
He just couldn’t stay quiet while she steamrolled Nina in her need to take control, to keep things perfect, and all he could think was: Did she really not remember that once, not that long ago, they’d wanted the exact same thing?
A small wedding with no pretence. Just family and a few close friends.
Did she really not remember that they too had wanted it under the oak tree, because it was where she’d first kissed him – and changed everything?
‘Are you gonna be okay?’ Mav asked. ‘I appreciate you taking over while I was out, Benji. But if it’s too much …’
Next to him, Nina’s big eyes were filled with concern.
‘I’ll be fine,’ Benji replied firmly. ‘Don’t worry about us. Focus on getting better and planning your wedding. I’ll handle Si.’
He left them to go after her, found her in the kitchen dumping copious amounts of sugar into a cup of milky coffee. Her brown eyes flickered up and dampened when she saw that it was him.
And Benji’s heart broke for the thousandth time.
There’d been a time when her eyes had lit up for him, when those same eyes had darkened with need – for him – and both of them had worn the same goofy grins currently on Mav and Nina’s faces.
‘Can we talk?’
‘About?’
‘Sierra …’ he said tiredly.
She sighed and plopped into the chair at the kitchen table before raising both her eyebrows at him as if to say, ‘Well?’
Benji took the seat opposite hers. He linked his hands on the table in front of him and let the silence stretch as he collected his thoughts.
He studied her for a long moment. She was still so beautiful, her golden skin unlined at thirty-five, her hair that same lustrous fall of honey-blonde satin he’d loved running his fingers through.
He marvelled that she could look exactly the same yet be so different from the woman he had once planned to spend his life with.
The Sierra he had first fallen in love with had been bold and confident and shamelessly determined without compromising her sense of humour and her gentle heart.
She’d hounded him for years, pushing all of his buttons – often at the same time – until he’d snapped and broken his vow to never touch his best friend’s little sister.
And afterwards, when his panic had set in, she’d made him laugh.
She’d pressed those full curves against him and as she’d drifted off to sleep in his arms, she’d promised that everything would work out – and he’d believed her.
But now, though her hair, eyes, and skin were all the same warm browns and golds, Sierra seemed incapable of that warmth she’d once exuded. As if to prove his point, she coolly added, ‘I don’t have all day, Benji.’
‘I know,’ he replied gently, reining in his own temper. ‘They’re holding the job for me in Utah, but only through to the new year. So, I’ll be heading out as soon as Mav’s back on his feet.’
Her eyes shuttered. When she spoke, her voice was cool.
‘Okay. I appreciate you stepping in to help on the ranch. Since the shooting, almost all my hours have gone towards PR and trying to keep the reservations afloat.’ She ran both her hands over her face, as if she was stressed just thinking about it.
‘Thank God for Nina. Having a resident celebrity is a huge draw for the resort.’
Benji wanted to ask if there was anything else he could do to help, but didn’t.
It was safer for both of them if he believed that she wanted him gone as soon as possible.
‘Given what Mav and Nina have been through, I’d prefer it if we could get along until I move on.
I’ll stay out of your way as much as possible. ’
‘All right. I don’t anticipate that being a problem for me,’ she said, her tone clipped, business-like. ‘I don’t go to the stables. You’re barely ever at the resort.’
‘I’ll stay away from the ranch house too.’
Sierra deflated. ‘No.’ She shook her head.
‘If you’re going to leave again, you should spend time with Mav while you’re here.
We both know he’s going to be going crazy in a few days.
He’ll need the distraction, and I can make myself scarce when you’re here.
’ She wrapped both her hands around the mug as if warming herself with that small source of heat. ‘Anything else?’
Anything else? Benji thought incredulously.
What happened to us?
Why did you shut me out?
Do you feel anything for me anymore?
Why don’t we talk about the fact that our baby died?
Why do you still plague my every thought?
‘No,’ he said finally. ‘Nothing else.’ He stood to go, to ease that constant pressure in his chest with physical work and the familiar, comforting smell of the stables.
It was only when he reached the hallway that Sierra said, ‘Hey, Benji?’
He turned.
‘Thanks. For the last few weeks.’ When her eyes filled it took every ounce of self-restraint he had not to go to her. Sierra didn’t cry. She turned off. So, he knew how terrified she must have been with Mav in the hospital. ‘I don’t know what I would have done if …’
Surprised by the thanks, Benji gently said, ‘You’re welcome.’ And wanting to comfort her, he added, ‘You know Mav’s not going anywhere …’
‘Yeah.’ She offered him a quick, wobbly smile. ‘Anyway. I appreciate your help.’ She cleared her throat. ‘God knows it wasn’t your responsibility.’
His surprise turned to hurt instantly. He curled his fists as the single statement lashed through him. She’d meant to wound him – they both knew that much.
‘Maverick is as much my brother as he is yours. Since I was what – five years old?’ he demanded, hotly now.
‘He’s my best friend. The thirteen-year-old kid who hid me in your family barn when my dad went on one of his drinking rampages.
The fifteen-year-old who drove me to the hospital when I made myself sick on booze trying to prove a point to Dylan Jefferson.
The man who cremated my child when I couldn’t. ’
‘Don’t.’ Sierra paled. She didn’t cry now. She didn’t show a hint of emotion. ‘Don’t talk about that.’
Benji obliged, but only because his own eyes burned with all that sick, twisted grief.
Instead, he asked, ‘Do you know what I still can’t figure out?
’ He didn’t give her time to reply. ‘I can’t figure out what I did to deserve your hate.
And after all this time, you’d think I’d have learned to hate you back.
’ He shook his head as an exhausted, bitter laugh left his lips. ‘Joke’s on me, kid.’
And he left.