Chapter 49 Elliot
ELLIOT
“So this is where you grew up?” Daniel asked with a smile on his face as he looked around my tiny room. Compared to how he grew up, my house was embarrassingly small.
“Yes.” I waited until he got inside the room before closing the door behind us. Giving him space to look around, I stayed with my back pressed to the door, my eyes pinned on him.
“It’s lovely,” he said, turning to look at me. “Very you.”
My cheeks turned hotter, and I looked down at his suitcase. “I’ll take it—”
“It’s okay.” He stopped me with a kiss on my cheek. “You can rest and tell me where to put it away.”
Flustered, I brushed the spot he kissed me. “Anywhere you want is fine… Not that there’s much space to begin with.”
He ended up leaving it by the closet before he took another look around. There was something extremely heartwarming about watching such a tall man inside a tiny room, even more so when it was him. And when he turned and caught me staring, I immediately looked away.
“You probably want to take a shower before dinner, right? I should get you some towels—”
Once again, he stopped me, only now, he did it by hugging me from behind. “I can find towels myself, so stop worrying.”
“I want to be helpful.”
“You are.” He kissed the top of my head.
The familiar gesture made me physically relax, and I leaned my head back against him.
I could stay like this forever.
A knock interrupted us before Maman poked her head into the room. Surprisingly, Daniel didn’t stop hugging me, and for a change, I found myself being the one getting embarrassed.
“Aww, the two of you are so cute.” She beamed, a big smile on her face.
“M-Maman,” I muttered.
They’d met earlier, and while Maman wasn’t surprised I’d brought a man home, since she knew I was gay, she was impressed by my man.
Over the past few months, I’d told her I was seeing someone, even lived with them, but I never went into details due to Daniel’s situation.
And while it happened in the most unexpected way, finally being able to bring him home to meet her was incredible, so much so that my cheeks still hurt from smiling so hard.
“I assumed your friend from America would want to take a relaxing bath after such a long trip,” Maman said, sending a flirtatious wink Daniel’s way.
Daniel chuckled, sadly moving away from me to take the towels from her.
“Like mother, like son,” he said, making Maman giggle like a teenage girl.
They’re already getting along.
“Dinner will be ready in thirty minutes. Until then, I’ll leave you two lovebirds be,” she said before leaving us alone.
“Lovebirds?” Daniel chuckled, turning to face me. “I don’t think I’ve ever been referred to that way… especially not in my thirties.” He sighed. “It really does feel like we’re teenagers again, doesn’t it? Then again, you could still be one.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m almost twenty-two.”
“That’s true.”
My eyes moved on to the towels in his hands.
“I’ll show you where the bath is,” I said, trying to take them from him, when he pinched a petal that apparently was stuck in my hair.
“Looks like you need to take a shower yourself.” Smiling, he held the petal between us. “You should go first.”
I bit my lip before shaking my head. “No… I can wait.”
He gave me a sympathetic look, then nudged my chin up. “I’d feel much better knowing you’re all clean and warm, my love.”
My love.
Having him call me that in my room made me all fuzzy in the tummy, and I had to clear my throat before speaking.
“O-okay.”
I began stripping out of the many layers covering me, taking one after the other—
You look sick, Elliot. You’re… You’re unwell.
My skin turned ice-cold as I remembered Daniel’s words from back then, and I froze, unable to take off the last piece of clothing.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing.” I focused on the floor, hoping he’d drop it.
Coming to my side, he attempted to catch my stare while I did my best to avoid him.
“Elli.”
“What?”
He placed the towels on the table beside us, then reached and took my hands in his.
“Why did you stop undressing?”
I nibbled on my bottom lip, afraid to speak the truth.
“My love, please talk to me.”
I felt caged, almost trapped. My nerves kicked in, and I struggled to breathe. But then, he brought my hands to his lips and kissed them, and somehow, the gesture melted my fears away.
“Elli, I’m here, and nothing you think or say will chase me away.”
Taking a deep breath, I looked up.
“I-I don’t want you to be repulsed.”
“I would never.”
“Back then, you were.”
His jaw tightened before he let out a deep sigh.
“I was scared, and I said the wrong things, and for that, I’m sorry,” he said, voice firm. “I know you’re struggling, but please, just for once, ignore the voices in your head that are telling you foul things, and focus on me, okay?”
Holding his stare, I bit my lip and nodded. Then, with trembling hands, I grabbed the hem of my T-shirt and began taking it off, thinking about the past week. I’d lost more weight, meaning I looked even worse than he remembered, and he might regret telling me—
“Elliot.”
Realizing my eyes were closed, I opened them to see Daniel’s warm gaze, nothing but love in it.
Taking a deep breath, I proceeded to take off my shirt.
Daniel didn’t remove his stare from me the entire time, not even for a second.
Empowered by his love, I then took off my pants and underwear until I was completely naked.
Now, feeling too exposed, I hugged my arms around myself before he grabbed them and forced them to my sides.
“You have nothing to hide from me. Absolutely nothing.”
The next second, I jumped into his arms and hugged him tight, allowing his body to wrap around me like a blanket.
“You’re beautiful in and out.” He slowly moved his fingers through my hair. “And nothing will ever change that.”
Choking on a sob, and with my face shoved in his chest, I said, “I’m so sorry for that letter.”
“Oh, Elliot. I know you didn’t mean those words.”
I shook my head, my snot smearing over the fabric of his shirt.
“It doesn’t make it okay. Just thinking about the pain I caused…” My voice died out, but knowing I owed him the truth, I swallowed hard and pulled back from the hug.
“That day, I planned to cook you dinner, and I did. But then Vito called, and we met. He told me about his ex and what happened to him. At first, I was angry at you for speaking to Vito, but then, after I came back home, I lost control and ended up eating everything I cooked, only to puke it all—”
“Elliot,” he gasped.
“Let me finish,” I asked, sniffing. “Please.”
“Of course.”
I sorted my breath before meeting his eyes.
“After that, I understood I had a problem, and honestly, I realized that this thing controlled me more than I controlled it… It scared me, and not wanting you to go through this, I left. That letter… I thought it would make you give up, but—” I shrugged, looking at him, grateful that he was here.
“It didn’t. And thank God for it, because when I saw you today, I was so happy. ”
His expression softened before he pulled me back into his arms.
Resting against his strong body, I breathed him in.
“Promise me you won’t let me run away.”
“I won’t,” he said.
In this moment, despite all the pain, I felt blessed, like I was the luckiest man on Earth.
“Elliot?”
“Yeah?”
“Your skin is cold. How about that shower now?”
I pulled back, my eyes dropping to my naked body. “Oh,” I muttered, realizing I’d made my confession in the nude. “Yeah, a bath would be nice.”
I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my body when I remembered something.
“How did you know where to find me?”
Daniel chuckled, leaving me confused as he went over to his bags. Searching in them, he pulled out something—a letter. My brows creased when he waved it.
“I owe that ex of yours and my father a big thank-you.”
“Huh?”
Handing me the letter, I saw it was Jacques’s.
“How did you get this? I mean, I threw it away,” I said, shocked.
“Just as I suspected, my father had us followed.”
The pig.
“So I guess his person fished it out of the garbage,” he added.
My eyes widened, and I quickly stared at Daniel, my heart beating fast. “I didn’t even read it, I swear. I couldn’t care at all about what he had to say.”
“Hey, hey, relax.” He grabbed my shoulders and massaged them a bit. “I trust you. But even if you did read it, it’s your right, Elliot. You’re entitled to have a past.”
I gaped at him because, “Who are you, and what did you do with my jealous man?”
Daniel let out a rolling laugh that filled my small room with so much warmth it turned it into a sauna.
“This Frenchman I met made me grow up.”
Daniel
“I see where Elliot got his talent for cooking,” I said after we sat down for dinner, impressed by the food on the table. “This all looks amazing.”
Mathilde, Elliot’s lovely mother, waved me off. “Oh, please. I’m embarrassed that this is what I’m serving the first time I meet my son’s boyfriend.”
I had no idea what she was talking about, considering how the bowl of soup she just placed before me smelled so good I nearly drooled.
“If I knew you were coming, I would have cooked you my famous veal,” she said as she went back to the pots to pour another bowl of soup.
“Maman is a fantastic cook.” Elliot’s eyes moved to look at me. “She knows it, too. For a change, she’s being modest.”
“Please, Elliot, I’m trying to make an impression.” Mathilde chuckled, walking back to the table, this time serving Elliot a bowl of soup.
“Bon appétit, mon chéri.” She caressed his cheek, then went to sit in her own chair. “The only thing I regret is that your brother isn’t here to eat with us,” she said, placing a napkin over her lap.
As she went on to speak a little bit about her younger son, Alo?s, my eyes darted to Elliot.
Sitting quietly, with the spoon already in his hand, he stared at the bowl of soup.
I couldn’t say I knew what was going on in his head, but on the eight-hour flight here, and during the last few days, I’d read several books to learn more.
While being far from an expert, reading gave me a perspective on what an eating disorder even meant, Anorexia specifically.
It also gave me an idea of how I should approach Elliot.
Certainly, not the way I had thus far. It was no wonder he ran away, considering I did everything wrong.
Without making a thing out of it and with Mathilde still speaking, I placed my hand on Elliot’s thigh and gave him a slight squeeze.
He looked at me immediately, and when our eyes met, I smiled at him, letting him know I was right here and that he had nothing to be scared of.
To my great joy, Elliot picked up his spoon and filled it with soup.
There was a moment of hesitation before he took the bite, but I didn’t want to interrupt and instead sat quietly and waited, my heart filling with pride after he did.
I kept my hand on his thigh as he took another small bite, followed by another, and then went back to eat myself, giving him the space to finish his own food. Which he did.
I knew this took a lot out of him, and that was why I couldn’t have been prouder.
In many similar cases to Elliot’s, people refused to receive help, and at first, it seemed the same applied to him.
But now, only a few hours since we’d reunited, I’d noticed the change in him and the signs that he was willing to get help.
And although one bowl of soup wasn’t enough to cure him, it was the beginning of his recovery, because every journey starts with the first step, as small as it might be.
If two years ago someone were to tell me that now I’d be in Provence, France, sitting around the table and sharing a meal with the love of my life and his lovely mother, I would think that person needed to commit themselves somewhere.
But here I was, finally in the right place.
I’d lived a life that wasn’t mine for so long that I thought there was no other way.
Apparently, I was wrong, and all I needed was one push at the right time to start seeing things differently.
“So, Daniel, what do you do?” Mathilde asked as she served me a delicious-looking quiche.
“He’s a lawyer, Maman,” Elliot answered proudly. “He runs his family company.”
“Well, not anymore, I’m not,” I corrected him and in return received a shocked look.
“What?” Elliot’s worry was vivid through his voice.
“A lot has happened this last week,” I told him before looking back at Mathilde. “You see, I used to work for my father, but due to recent developments, including his narrow-minded view and my falling for your wonderful son, we’ve decided to part ways. For good.”
“Daniel.”
The distress on Elliot’s face was clear, and I couldn’t help but smile at him being this cute, worrying over me. “It really is for the better,” I reassured him, poking his cheek.
“Are you sure?”
I then thought back on the expression Father had in his office, how shocked Mother was, and how bewildered my siblings seemed. Most importantly, I remembered the sense of liberation I experienced after leaving them all behind.
A big smile spread across my face.
“One hundred percent.”