10
I’m propped up against the orange brick wall of Mario’s pizza parlor. The harsh grains of the building dig into my shoulders as I start slowly coming back to life. Mario is wiping a cold wet cloth against my steaming forehead and muttering to himself. My sight is blurry but starting to come around as I make out Mario’s trademark black mustache quivering while he quickly speaks Italian to his son, Cole, concerned in the parlor doorway. I don’t understand a word they’re saying but Cole rushes back inside the restaurant while Mario turns to me and repeats.
“You’re alright Cash, you’re alright, you’re alright.”
Finally, my vision begins to settle around me. Dazed and confused, miserably on fire, I put my hands to the ground and try to stand. My legs wobble as I scan the area. Where the hell did she go?
“Cash, easy easy easy now,” and Mario is up and putting his hand on my back. His calm spirit helps me a bit. He can tell my adrenaline is all out of whack and says, “Don’t panic. You’re alright.”
I’ve known Mario for decades. He’s been with me for years, looking over and caring about all the bizarre details of my life. When I was fourteen, I worked at this very shop and learned all there was to know about pizza, pasta, and Italy. His bald head, his mustache, and big belly laughs are staples in this town.
“You took one heck of a fall, Cash. Scared me, you really did. I was just cleaning the window here and I saw you, lucky I caught the whole thing. You looked like you saw a ghost, my friend. God, you’re drenched, what’s going on?”
“It’s a long story, man.”
“You don’t look so good my friend, you should sit down, come on, come inside and sit down.”
Cole comes back through the doorway and hands me a big red cup of water.
“Thank you, man.”
“You okay?”
“I’m fine, man, thank you.”
“Alright.” Cole nods, sincere and kind like his father.
“Are you sure, Cash? Come on inside, cool down for a minute. You are very pale.” I can hear the worry in his voice. I take a few gulps of the ice water and try to sort through my confusion, “I’m fine, Mario, really. Thank you.” I close my eyes and rub the water from my face best I can.
“Did you happen to see a girl?”
“A girl?”
“A girl yeah, a girl, did you—uh—happen to—” God. What am I saying? Why is it so fucking hot today? I look back down the long stretch of sidewalk where she had turned and saw me just moments ago. She was right there, less than a block away. I passed out, and she just—left?
“A girl, Mario, there was a girl here too. Tell me you saw her.”
I’m pushing my hands through my wet hair, resting them behind my head and catching my breath. It’s extremely difficult to not become furious with myself for how deranged I must have just looked.
“I didn’t see a girl Cash, no, no. I didn’t look around much though. Are you sure you’re okay?”
I scan far up and down Main Street as far as my eyes can take me and, well, she’s nowhere in sight. What a mess. Maybe she was never there in the first place and I’m losing my mind here at last. This is it then, the start of a long and painful, incomprehensible journey to madness. I want to scream into the earth, but the energy isn’t with me. The adrenaline has passed and now I’m nothing but a tired wet scrap. I saw her though, I swear it, and she left me passed out on the sidewalk. My head starts pounding that relentless drum of monotonous ache again. I’m hungover, rattled and still in need of an oil change. The sun bounces off the old asphalt street and the cars continue to pass. On it all goes.